Happy birthday Sylph. That your wife is accepting, and allows you to dress is a blessing. I wouldn't worry whether it was a complement or a put down....
I often wonder as well. But I'm also one of those who participated for a while, then life got in the way. So many things going on I didn't have time...
The crossdressing community is one that needs to stick together and continue to be there for each other for whatever one needs. We are always trying to improve the forum to better serve the crossdresser in all of us.