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Marina Twelve
11-25-2005, 02:59 PM
http://www.atlantabridal.com/fashion/children/ringbearer.asp

This is a legitimate Wedding site. It is an interesting thread concerning some boys and young men who actually were dressed as bridsmaids and flower girls for real weddings.

As i had mentioned in a previous thread posting this Actually happens, and more often than one might think.

erica12b
11-25-2005, 03:13 PM
i wish it happened more.

DanaJ
11-25-2005, 04:56 PM
What I found really strange that in almost all these stories I read in that link, that the boy bridesmaids were mostly between 5 and 10 years old, yet they went to a beauty salon to have "lipstick, eye shadow, nail polish and fancy updos" done. And in every case, they just "happend" to have long hair.

So, how come little boy bridesmaids get makeup done, but I have never seen little flower girls (of the same age) with all this makeup on? Maybe it is just me, but I would think it was pretty tacky to have a little child covered in makeup - boy or girl...

eleventhdr
11-25-2005, 11:15 PM
I think and see nothing wrong with this whole concept. But providing that the little boy would agree with this concept of dressing as a bridemaid or flower girl I would certainly not want to tramitize a little boy by making him dress this way if he did not But having been into St Louis this last Summer and having seen a few weddings down where i was doing my own paranormal research which is something very entirely different then most would be doing at all. But that is another story. But anyway about dresssing in and of this way I can and will say this dressing in little girl styles for a wedding is oh so very pretty the dresses and finery that girls get to wear that puts any boys clothing just to shame really. I myself if and when not a trans bride would love to dres s this way for formal occasions what have you the clothing just outshines anything that boys males can even attemp to wear. I certainly would rather dress this way. Oh what lilttel girls can and do get to really enjoy that's why i think we all are like this in oh so mnay ways we just love and do want to be like this. I know that i do. It is a reality fantasy of mine but oh well. Anything ot be a nice good girl. My oh my oh yeah. It is just the way to really be at least i think and agree it is for me anyway. How about you. I see nothing wrong with it if as i say the child would agree and oh how i wish it had been that way when i was a kid oh well. Suzy Ann!.

Kim E
11-26-2005, 07:44 AM
I also went to the link and read the posts. I was amazed by the large number of stories where this was alleged to have happened. I came away wondering how many were reality or how many were pure fantasy. Some seemed too 'perfect'. Not to say that it hasn't occurred, I just hesitate believing everything I read, especially when there is no photographic or other proof.

Kim

Marina Twelve
11-26-2005, 08:06 AM
I also went to the link and read the posts. I was amazed by the large number of stories where this was alleged to have happened. I came away wondering how many were reality or how many were pure fantasy. Some seemed too 'perfect'. Not to say that it hasn't occurred, I just hesitate believing everything I read, especially when there is no photographic or other proof.

Kim


Perhaps that is another reason I find these stories intriguing. A few sound like they were lifted directly from the pages of FICTIONMANIA---(or belong there N E way.) And despite many web searches I have yet to find ANY pictures. I AM willing to conceed that perhaps half of them are true, and although detailed, I suspect that the "Danny" story IS true. As a writer myself, some aspects of it, especially the end are not typical of "Fictionmania" fantasy type stories.-----

TGMarla
11-26-2005, 08:19 AM
Frankly I think kids that age are too young to have to go through something like that. I've seen many websites where the lucky TG individual allegedly got to be a bridesmaid...voluntarily, I might add...but to expect a boy child to wear girls clothes in front of a large crowd when no doubt everyone in his peer group pressures the hell out of him to do boy things, act like a boy, hate on girls, etc, is really cruel and to an extent abusive, not to mention careless and hurtful.

Kim E
11-26-2005, 10:13 AM
Hi Marina ~
You as a writer, I'm sure are more experienced in being able to sort the wheat from the chaff, so to speak, than I will ever be. The reason I hesitated, was because I found it hard to believe that so many young boys would willingly accept a situation like that. I tried to pick just one, from a number of my relatives, friends and neighbor kids and couldn't come up with one that I feel, wouldn't outright refuse.

That said, if I had ever been approached with a scheme like that, I'd have set a land speed record getting to the front of the short line. Fill in for a flower girl, bridesmaid or for the bride herself, I wouldn't have had any problem with it, what so ever. But then, I always was different. :)

Hugs ~ Kim

_Janelle_
11-26-2005, 11:03 AM
I think this probably does happen to some degree, but I think there may be some instances where a mother may have really wanted a girl, but only ever had boys. As a result, they tend to treat that boy more as a the girl they never had. I see it in one of my kids classes at school - the mum has two sons, and one is treated more like a girl almost than a boy. The mum is very girly so to speak, and I'm sure she would have dearly wanted a girl to do girly things with, but since that's not possible, her son is the next best option. So I suspect some of these boys have been "groomed" for this type of thing, and no doubt probably results in some of them going on to be crossdressers.

Janelle

DanaJ
11-26-2005, 11:14 AM
Well, in my opinion, it may have happened once or twice, but it still has to be extremely extremely rare. Look at what all these stoires have in common:

- a bridesmaid just "happens" to get hurt the week or day before the wedding.
- there is never anyone else to fill in but a boy
- the boy always has long hair, never wears a wig
- even though a very young child, gets the exact same treatment as older women (hair in an updo, full makeup, nails done, full underwear and dress, even high heels)
- in some extreme cases, a perm is given, ears pierced, even saw one that got acrylic nails at 7 years old

And have any of you been around brides? When they plan that day, every last detail is planned, they know it is their day - I really really doubt that a bride is going to let her perfect day be about anyone but her and her groom.

Sorry, I am dubious at this happening more than once or twice....

Stephanie Brooks
11-26-2005, 11:26 AM
I started reading the posts on the linked page from the bottom up. Looks like fantasy spam to me.

If the author of the original article were saying it's an accepted and normal practice, then I might be encouraged. She didn't.

Amy
11-26-2005, 01:12 PM
I have a eight year old nephew I think would jump at the chance of being a flowergirl or bridesmaid. It's his parents I don't think would go for it.
Amy

Teddie
11-26-2005, 02:27 PM
I have to agree. Most of the stories belong on a fiction story site. Some may be true but in most cases :nono: In fact as a writer myself, some show real promise 0.02 And, I just might use one for the basis of a story.

Steffie-Lee
11-26-2005, 07:50 PM
That this NEVER happened. At least not in a western country where there are so many gender - clothing - hang-ups. Crossdressing a child at a formal wedding would border on child abuse. What would the wedding couple do with their wedding pictures when their flower "girl" grows old enough to recognize his self? What clergyman would allow such a thing in "God's House" ? Some moms might dress up their little boys in their sister's clothes, at home for laughs, but at a public function, I doubt it... The whole idea is a no brainer.

KathrynW
11-26-2005, 07:58 PM
That this NEVER happened. At least not in a western country where there are so many gender - clothing - hang-ups.
I kinda have to agree with this...
I'll have to see more than one actual photo to believe it. ;)

jennifer marie
11-27-2005, 11:31 AM
I dont know about Bridesmaides, but I do know about flower girls! Many years ago at age 9 I was one in my Aunts wedding. Anyone wanting to know about the circumstances feel fre to ask.

KathrynW
11-27-2005, 11:44 AM
I dont know about Bridesmaides, but I do know about flower girls! Many years ago at age 9 I was one in my Aunts wedding. Anyone wanting to know about the circumstances feel fre to ask.
details & pics please?

DanaJ
11-27-2005, 11:51 AM
I dont know about Bridesmaides, but I do know about flower girls! Many years ago at age 9 I was one in my Aunts wedding. Anyone wanting to know about the circumstances feel fre to ask.Wow - that would have been about 1960 then? Were you a flower girl in a dress, or just a boy in boy's clothes doing the flower gilr's role?

Helen MC
11-27-2005, 11:56 AM
If you look at old Victorian and Edwardian pictures of kids here in the UK you will see that often a boy has girly curly hair and wears a dress like his sisters and it is only about the age of 5 or so when he is to go to school for the fist time that he has his hair cut short and has to wear trousers.

Kim E
11-27-2005, 01:15 PM
Hope this isn't off topic. Being naturally inquisitive I spent some time on google this morning. Closest thing I could find on this thread topic was 'womanless weddings'. Apparently they were common throughout the country back between the 20's and the 50's, and some even later. Men and boys played all the female roles in them, flower girls, bridesmaids and even the bride. They were usually big elaborate productions and were staged to earn money for fraternal, church and civic groups. There would be males today who were flower girls and bridesmaids when they were young, but in a theatre sense.

Perhaps this play acting of the past has bridged time and fostered this present day fantasy. Sort of like an urban legend, take a little truth, embellish it, bring it up to date and some will believe.

Kim

celeste26
11-27-2005, 01:30 PM
In victorian times the death rate of newborns was so high that it is true they dressed all children in the same style of clothes (that were passed down to the next to be born) up until the age when they were sure they would most likely survive often as late as five or six. or whenever they would begin school

KathrynW
11-27-2005, 02:42 PM
Hope this isn't off topic. Being naturally inquisitive I spent some time on google this morning. Closest thing I could find on this thread topic was 'womanless weddings'. Apparently they were common throughout the country back between the 20's and the 50's, and some even later.
Yes, I've heard of those. They were mainly done as a fundraiser, a comedy spoof sort of thing. ;)

Perhaps this play acting of the past has bridged time and fostered this present day fantasy. Sort of like an urban legend, take a little truth, embellish it, bring it up to date and some will believe.
You nailed it. That's exactly what this is - an urban legend. Anyone can write anything on the internet. I want to see some real photos before I'll believe any of it. ;)

Helana
11-29-2005, 01:11 AM
Not exactly an urban legend as I am sure there have been a few occassions when very young boys have been passed off especially if money is on the tight side and there is a spare dress to be filled. But considering all the marriages that take place every year then this kind of activity probably happens about 0.0000000000000000000001% of the time. Basically about as often as meeting people who have been in outer space! Certainly the stories listed in the link have all the classic signs of being fantasy dreams.

KathrynW
11-29-2005, 08:22 AM
Not exactly an urban legend as I am sure there have been a few occassions when very young boys have been passed off especially if money is on the tight side and there is a spare dress to be filled.

Pics are *always* taken at weddings. Where are the pics?

Maddie
11-29-2005, 09:29 AM
for the longest time boys till the age of 6 would wear dresses this at the younger age (1-4) faciliated the changing of diapers no pants to get in the way skirt up diaper off

ernest hemmingway wore dresses till the age of 5 and there are pictures out therte somewhere

Maddie

jackie66
11-29-2005, 09:43 AM
there is a TV bridal weekend held in the UK. It is run by danielle www.tvoptions.co.uk and is held in bournemouth. A truly wonderful weekend with all the trimmings

KathrynW
11-29-2005, 03:01 PM
for the longest time boys till the age of 6 would wear dresses this at the younger age (1-4) faciliated the changing of diapers no pants to get in the way skirt up diaper off ernest hemmingway wore dresses till the age of 5 and there are pictures out therte somewhere
That was then. This is NOW. It simply doesn't happen nowadays. Please don't get me wrong, I find the idea of boys dressed as girls in a wedding as interesting as anyone here...but it's a myth, fiction, it simply doesn't happen... It's the stuff fictionmania stories are made of.;)

there is a TV bridal weekend held in the UK. It is run by danielle www.tvoptions.co.uk and is held in bournemouth. A truly wonderful weekend with all the trimmings
I'm sure it's lovely, but that's not what this thread is about...;)

Helana
11-30-2005, 12:46 AM
Pics are *always* taken at weddings. Where are the pics?Well chances are that the few young boys who have been dressed up for weddings are not CDers and thus are not going to post pictures on the internet boasting that the flower girl on the left was him!

Also most people dont think dressing up a young boy (under 5) is a big problem and would just laugh it off - assuming they even knew in the first place!

I did a google search and the very first entry was this discussion between parents about whether it is ok for young boys to wear dresses. You can see form the replies that there are plenty of parents who do not see this as being an issue as they expect the boy will grow out of this behavior as he grows up.

http://parents.berkeley.edu/advice/worries/boygirl.html

Marlena Dahlstrom
11-30-2005, 01:28 AM
You can see form the replies that there are plenty of parents who do not see this as being an issue as they expect the boy will grow out of this behavior as he grows up.

http://parents.berkeley.edu/advice/worries/boygirl.html

I'd just caution that this is probably a very unrepresentative sample of parents, given that the group is based in what's sometimes called the People's Republic of Berkeley, where "non-traditional lifestyles" are considered politically correct. And before anyone fires up the flamethrowers, I used to live there, so I'm speaking from first-hand experience.

Helana
11-30-2005, 01:34 AM
Marlena

I agree a very liberal group of parents but still evidence that these things do occur. They mention a French film "Ma Vie en Rose" about a young boy who likes wearing dresses. I have never heard of this one but it looks intertesting if anyone can get a hold of a copy.

http://i.imdb.com/Photos/Ss/0119590/th-1-8.jpg
http://i.imdb.com/mptv1.gif

KathrynW
11-30-2005, 08:36 AM
I'd just caution that this is probably a very unrepresentative sample of parents, given that the group is based in what's sometimes called the People's Republic of Berkeley, where "non-traditional lifestyles" are considered politically correct.
Yes...and I'd say these are still extremely isolated incidents. As far as all these people posting on this wedding forum in Atlanta or wherever it is...they have very active imaginations. ;)
Again...if this happens *all the time*...post the pics.;)

Marlena Dahlstrom
12-01-2005, 02:06 AM
They mention a French film "Ma Vie en Rose" about a young boy who likes wearing dresses. I have never heard of this one but it looks intertesting if anyone can get a hold of a copy.

Amazon has it (http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B00001W9FZ/qid=1133423830/sr=8-1/ref=sr_8_xs_ap_i1_xgl74/102-3279323-4056930?n=507846&s=dvd&v=glance). If you get the Logo channel on satellite or cable, it's aired there periodically.

sherri
12-01-2005, 09:49 AM
If the boy likes it or is predisposed toward femininity, that's one thing - maybe. Otherwise, I find the notion of foisting gender confusion on an innocent child - or fantasizing about it - reprehensible.

Jennifer in CO
12-02-2005, 08:03 AM
Many years ago, my wife and I had a Portrait studio and part of the bread-n-butter work was weddings. We probably did close to 150 over 10 years and ran into this situation at least twice that I remember, both were pre-teen boys. The two that I remember were: boy was about 10 and had hair to mid-back on Friday night rehersal and walked up the isle with another boy as what I thought were 2 ring bearers. Saturday in the wedding, "David" was wearing a dress that looked like the brides, his hair was french braided and was actually the flower "girl". Other was about 12 or 13 year old boy whom I would have never suspected as anything but a girl with the exception of he used the mens room at the rehersal and Saturday prior to the wedding ( no I wasn't watching...restrooms were just off the sanctuary..mens right..womans left). Tall for his age at over 5' and hair in a swept-forward bob. In the wedding he was a Jr Bridemaid...a VERY effiminate child in actions and mannerisms as I remember.

Now for Grooms...a different story. I remember one who we did a private photo with the bride and groom before the wedding. They were dressing in the same room (wedding was a formality - they'd been living together for years) and the photo was similar to a brides "partially dressed" photo. Both were wearing matching white teddies with garters and white stockings. In the wedding, he was dressed on the outside "normal" in white tux. But if you looked close, you'd notice he was the same height as her. Showing under his pants leg were the heel of white 2" pumps.

Jenn