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bi_weird
07-09-2006, 02:34 PM
Right now I'm sitting in the computer lab in a tank top and short shorts, totally comfortable and totally feminine. On the other hand, I like to bind my chest and put on a mens button-up shirt and guys pants and pretend I'm a guy. I've never taken the second thought public, but am letting it sit in my mind to see what comes of it. I'd just like to know how strange it is to be inbetween like this. I'm don't feel like the whole "man in a woman's body" deal, but I'm not your typical girl either. Perhaps it's cause I'm six feet tall with three brothers, but I've never acted like my female friends. I really feel like I could be comfortable passing as either a man or a woman. Anyone else like this out there?

CaptLex
07-09-2006, 08:29 PM
I'd just like to know how strange it is to be inbetween like this. I'm don't feel like the whole "man in a woman's body" deal, but I'm not your typical girl either. Perhaps it's cause I'm six feet tall with three brothers, but I've never acted like my female friends. I really feel like I could be comfortable passing as either a man or a woman. Anyone else like this out there?
You're not weird at all. There are plenty of people who feel in-between, androgynous, neither particularly in one camp or the other. Nothing wrong with that.

Welcome to the forum, by the way. :wave2:

RevMoonSerpent
07-09-2006, 08:59 PM
bi_weird:
It's great to have you here. Welcome to the nut house :p . Like CaptLex said there are plenty of people in-between.
I'm a little in-between myself. I feel most comfortable living my life as a man but, I don't 100% hate being a female. There are times when I wear more femanine attire and even makeup but, it doesn't happen very often. (Once every 6-8 months or longer)
I just try to be me and take it one day at a time. So you're not alone.

Kimberley
07-10-2006, 12:48 AM
Hi Bi Wierd and welcome to the forums.

Let me introduce myself (most of the guys here already know me.) I am a M2F TG. There are plenty of us, (okay not really that many) but we are here and you seem to describe a commonality we share in one degree or another.

I am maybe a little confused by your handle. I just want to clarify that you are questioning gender and not sexuality. There is a difference and only you can answer that one.

Okay, to move on. Xdressing is not gender specific nor is it an indication of sexuality. The fact is though that there are far more M2F CD's than F2M. The best information I have is; it is at a ratio of 10:1, although that is highly questionable. A lot of the F2M's are transgendered. Probably the majority are in this category, but not all. Without going into a huge dissertation of scientific discovery, let it be said that there is strong evidence supporting genetics as a major factor.

Personally, I am TS but have made some hard choices to live my natural gender as much as possible. So that puts me somewhere on the scale as TG. A non op TS if you will. I do not particularly like my role but I do live it. Crossdressing for me is to make it as androgynous as possible so as to not rock the boat.

Yes, I don a suit and tie when necessary (but would rather dress en femme) and although I tolerate it and probably feel okay with it, it is not my first choice.

It seems you fit more into the category (I know Capt. There's that darned label again.) of being a cross dresser. You dont express this as anything more than enjoyment of fulfilling a role or a need you have internally for more than a short time. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that. It is NORMAL!!! Society sees it differently but they have no understanding of gender. (Ms Donna has written extensively on this subject.) Regardless, this whole gender issue covers a wide spectrum and no one, repeat, no one, fits neatly into any one category.

Finally you say you feel you could fit in either way as female or male. Again there is nothing wrong with this. The opportunities young people have to express themselves is considerably larger in latitude for genetic girls than for boys. The options are limitless.

My only advice to you is this. Be yourself, not someone you think you should be. Too many find themselves in a vicous circle trying to identify as one gender or the other. Some of us (myself among them) have learned to embrace both aspects of our personality and we treat it as a gift; even though sometimes it feels like a burden.

I hope this is of some help to you. If you want you can PM me. (I dont bite) The guys here can attest to my concerns and genuine interest in helping others if you have any doubts.

All the best.
Kimberley.

bi_weird
07-10-2006, 01:55 AM
*sigh of relief*
I don't know why it's so big to admit things to others, but it is relieving to tell anything that hasn't been told before.
It's so nice to have internet people who I can sound off on like this. Thanks!
Kimberley, yeah the handle is unrelated, but helps explain some things. Last October I went through an awful OMW peroid as I came out as bi to myself and eventually friends, and ended up so messed up for it I'm terrified of doing it again. Near as I can tell I reacted so badly because I couldn't accept not knowing this huge part of my personality. That experience made me very very wary of exploring my gender. I haven't said a word about this to my friends, though sometimes it gets implied, and have been very careful to think lightly about it when I do let myself think at all, 'cause I don't want to lose it again. I'm so glad to finally be talking about it though. :-) It makes me want to go buy boys clothes, but then I remember that it's summer and why would I wear anything other than skimpy girls clothes in ninty degree heat...

Kate Simmons
07-10-2006, 06:25 AM
Hi Bi, I'm a M T F CD and feel the same way sometimes. Both aspects continually cross over into each other. I can feel like Ericka as Richard or vice versa. I've pretty much acepted it and regardless of what I choose to look like at any given time, am the same person inside. That's what I look at in others also. I appreciate them for who they are as a PERSON. Glad to hear from you, my friend. Take care, Ericka

Kimberley
07-10-2006, 11:19 AM
I have a couple of friends who are bi. I can say that in talking to them about their experiences they said they both went overboard at the beginning. After a while they settled down to a normal life.

The one is married (very happily) with an understanding husband. They have 2 children. Mom goes away for a night and that is all the kids know. No big deal.

The other is going through a divorce (totally unrelated to her sexuality). Again, her husband knew but he was less than fully supportive.

Both girls have steady friends, not one nighters, this was the trick for them.

All of this is very confusing and takes time to work through. Just keep focused on the fact that gender and sexuality are not the same thing. They can be congruent or not.

Hope this helps a little.

:hugs:
Kimberley.

privateperks
07-10-2006, 12:32 PM
I'm bi as well. Normally I chase girls though my current partner is a guy. In fact, it's just all around easier for me to be bi than to try and figure out if liking girls makes me gay or straight or what.

:D

mistunderstood
07-10-2006, 06:30 PM
When I first told My G/F about crossdressing we went through the whole are we gay strait or bi question and we came to the concluesion is we do not know or care anymore. Man we kind of cryed over it but we made it. You will to.
Welcome to the club.

Felix
07-11-2006, 04:37 PM
Hi Bi Wiered and welcome :) I have strange feelins about stuff too but one thing I do know is I definately am attracted to women. I see the attractiveness in men and I find gay men very attractive but they got the wrong tackle! I am a tom boy and I messed around for a while with the idea that I may identify as boi but that may have been taking things a little far who knows. I do know I like wearing mens clothes and I feel uncomfortable in really fem clothes and never do dresses or skirts or anythin like that no way! Infact I hate wearing my crop tops now and would much rather wear my compression vest but don't do that in the work place yet. I do like the andro look cos it would fit with my tom boy image I guess. I never wear makeup, have always had an aversion to it. I do feel that I am in touch with both sides both male and female. So hun you are not on your own cos we are all searching for a place where we feel totally comfortable with ourselves and everybody else. Have fun here :)

Karren Hutton
07-19-2006, 10:23 PM
Right now I'm sitting in the computer lab in a tank top and short shorts, totally comfortable and totally feminine. On the other hand, I like to bind my chest and put on a mens button-up shirt and guys pants and pretend I'm a guy. I've never taken the second thought public, but am letting it sit in my mind to see what comes of it. I'd just like to know how strange it is to be inbetween like this. I'm don't feel like the whole "man in a woman's body" deal, but I'm not your typical girl either. Perhaps it's cause I'm six feet tall with three brothers, but I've never acted like my female friends. I really feel like I could be comfortable passing as either a man or a woman. Anyone else like this out there?

It's the same with me, BW....I'm not a female in a male body but more like sometimes male and sometimes female......kind of the best of both genders when and where I want. And I too am very comfortable in either gender role....have had to look down a few times to see how I was dressed because it all feels the same.... hehehe So welcome to the mix!!! :)

BTW, if I'm horning in on you guy's area just tell me so and I'll be a good girl!! hehe

Love Karren

Fainne the King
07-23-2006, 03:55 PM
Yes, I've been struggling with the issue of classification for a while. I thought I was transendered, then realized, no, I'm not fully male inside. I think I'm just androgynous or non-gendered. But in any case, I've found that gender doesn't really matter to me anymore, people are who they are regardless of what little gender club they want to associate themselves with. So yeah I like to crossdress but not all the time, I've gotten more comfortable with my body and just stopped trying to put myself into a category.

Julie Avery
07-23-2006, 05:39 PM
I hear that. I think most of us who have gender issues don't fit neat categories. There's a temptation to find which one you fit in, but it's pretty easily resisted.

Abraxas
07-24-2006, 06:01 AM
Agreed-- Fainne-- havne't heard from ya in awhile buddy-- what's up?

CaptLex
07-24-2006, 07:14 AM
Fainne!!!! Welcome back! :D

Fainne the King
07-24-2006, 11:19 AM
Hey! Thanks for the warm greeting back, guys. I took some time away to think about all this, where I stand on the gender scale, and some other personal issues. Not that I've resolved them, but I missed you guys.

RevMoonSerpent
07-26-2006, 01:26 AM
It's great to see you back again Fainne.

NighttimeGirl
07-26-2006, 07:06 AM
dont let anyone put you into a group, enjoy both aspects of your masculinity and your femmininity, I feel like a woman most of the time but there are times when I am in man mode, why should we say we are this and that?

just forget about all the tags and bells and try and enjoy the way you feel

I do and I love it! :love:

Wren
07-27-2006, 10:00 PM
I have nothing new to offer to the table, but it never hurts to know that there is an army behind you right?

Yeah, I don't identify as anything anymore too confusing and I'm sure there's somekind of label that fits me but I'm not going to waste my time just to give everybody else some closure. Bottom line is that I am a genetic female (born as female) I feel female, but I dress as a boy sometimes. Welcome to the forum.

And welcome back Fainne!