invited to halloween party

[Ashlee]

Hi,
I'm not too active on this site, i weigh in on topics now and again but I was wondering if you all could be of assistance.
The mrs.came home the other day and told me of her brother having a Halloween party. She had told me what she wanted to do and I said with expression and joking that I would go as a woman. She didn't react negatively to that, I don't think she thinks I'll do it. This would be the first time I've been to an adults only Halloween party. Anyway, a day or so goes by and the subject comes up again as to the party and what will I do. I replied again I'll go as a woman, considering what I do for a living (all macho trades) it'd be the last thing people would expect me to do. She didn't seem to have a problem with it. I told her (with her disbelieving me) that I'd go buy a dress at salvation army (I have another place in mind) and other stuff via walmart etc. Being a closet CD i have stuff already. My questions for you all is: what kinds of stuff can I say during the time leading up the party this month to make sure interest stays up, cold feet doesn't develop on her part etc. I do plan to mention now and again that "i'm headed out to try to work on my costume" etc. I will pre-warn her in the days up to the party that I"ll be leaving the house in male mode and returning female mode as sort of a preparatory situation. Anyway, just any advice please. I already went yesterday to Fredericks of Hollywood and waited for the store to be empty. The female associate wasn't surprised at all and helped me out. I got a corset and fake breasts. I told the mrs. that when I do things, like lots of things I go full steam, 100%. I also got clip on ear rings and a necklace. I should have a wig, dress and hip pads from the glamour boutique monday. All I'm waiting for is an e-mail regarding a makeover and I'm all set. Sorry for the length, I look forward to your advice and anwers.

[angelfire]

If you really don't want to raise any suspicion, I wouldn't do the whole coming home en femme thing before the party as a preparation. Other than that, good luck, and have a blast!

[juliek]

Did you already tell the Mrs. that you got the corset and breasts? Also, make the appointment for your makeover right away. If you wait too long you won't be able to get in. Then in a couple weeks you can tell her you have an appointment for a makeover already. If she says she will do your makeup, tell her to practice on you!!!

[Sandra]

It would be a lot eaiser if you just came right out and told her you dress, you never know she might just be ok with it, then you can sort the clothing for halloween out together.

[Billijo49504]

Wouldn't it be better to just take her shopping with you? Let her help pick out your outfit. But I also agree it would be better to tell her you dress. The only down side to having a wife that's ok with it, is having to pay for her new clothes too!!!BJ

[trannie T]

After the party tell her how much you enjoyed the experience and continue from there. It is your chance to be honest with your wife.

[Joy Carter]

Ive told other girls here, and I will ask the same questions to you Ashlee.

When you show up to a party all dressed and detailed to look like a woman, are you ready for your friends reaction ?
Are you ready to lose friends over this ?
Are you prepared for the comments that will surely be made by a male, be he sober or drunk ?
Do you really think your wife can handle you dressing like this ?
Are you ready to be reminded of your dressing for years to come by the friends who do still associate with you ?

I went dressed once many years ago in comic fashion to a party and they never let me forget it. I haven't associated with them or called them friends for many years.
My view on people is that they have their ideas about a guy in a dress. And all of it, be it uninformed is negative.

I'd go as a pirate if I were you. :2c:

[Alice B]

I did the same for an adult party thrown by one of my wife's sons. I asked her to help me with my make-up as a way to get her involved. At the time she did not know that I liked to dress. She helped me, enjoyed it and the evening went very well. Since you have made your choice clear and she is not unhappy with it - get her involved. She most likely already suspects anyway.:happy:

[Rachel Morley]

My advice would be to proceed ... but with caution. I agree with Angelfire, I wouldn't do the "coming home en femme thing". I also agree with Alice above, if you don't want her to know then you have to appear slightly clueless and that you need her help. This would be a good opportunity to get her to assist and at the same time "feel her out" on what she thinks of crossdressing when it's not Halloween. Also, you never know, if you can laugh and joke about things when she helps you with your makeup or being zipped into your dress etc it might even be fun for her. If she can see that it's not anything to feel threatened over you might be able to make some progress. I say include her in your preparations not exclude her and don't do a "ta-rahh" ! - that would be bad in my opinion.

Good luck.

[Sally2005]

Since you are both going, make it a role reversal pair of costumes for you and your wife. Lots of possibilities that way. If I were you I would just bring home some bits of your costume to show her and involve her in the pulling together of the costume. That way she will have fun too. I think the worst situation is to go to the part and have her say... it was his idea and I want nothing to do with it. Better to look like you were both involved. People will ask a lot of questions, its better to have her on your side and to help with answers. People will tease you about it for decades so just be prepared to go with it.

[Ashlee]

Ive told other girls here, and I will ask the same questions to you Ashlee.

When you show up to a party all dressed and detailed to look like a woman, are you ready for your friends reaction ?
***from what i understand there will be only 1 friend from high school whom i see rarely and speak to even rarer than that. no co-workers or members of my family there. if this was a party consisting of co-workers, i wouldn't do this as you could guess, it wouldn't be good. the host is bro in law and his girlfriend who i see maybe 4 times a year. i don't associate with them as far as extraneous activities and haven't been to the home in at least 1 to 1-1/2 years. then the sister and other brother in law, maybe an aunt and uncle will be there too but the aunt is younger than i (34?) and outgoing and considering who i am and how i act around them this may be ok. i only plan to be at this party for maybe 3 hours tops. who knows, a friend of his may show up dressed up like me too!

Are you ready to lose friends over this ? - there are no co-workers, maybe 1friend, nothing except 2 brothers and 1 sister in law. laughter is a certain icebreaker. if i were to take on certain female traits that could be noticed. i wouldn't sit and cross my legs for example. throughout the year i'm just your ordinary, average guy.

Are you prepared for the comments that will surely be made by a male, be he sober or drunk ? - hmmm, i hope so. i will have to deal accordingly should they arise. i live 5 minutes away, if i had to i could leave.

Do you really think your wife can handle you dressing like this ? - you gotta know her for one. i'm always joking around with her. i go 100% when i do stuff so i told her this would be no different. she said last night what i was gonna do and if i was still gonna go. (i'm working that day) and again, i laughingly replied i'd be able to go and i'll go as a woman! to which she stated something like "oh gawd this I gotta see, we'll have to take a picture for our album". i said, think about it. it would be easy for me to just throw on "x" or "y" and walk out the door but this would be the last thing they would think i'd be given my nature/personality and my work career. she then stated that "you're gonna go buy stuff" and i said "yes, i'll go to the salvation army and walmart" i'll just need you to tell me what sizes. she says i can't dress myself in guy clothes, how will i do this?

Are you ready to be reminded of your dressing for years to come by the friends who do still associate with you ? - again, no friends there. as i lay awake at night thinking of this i analyze the personalities that will be there and if this is a lively party i may be able to laugh off anything that is said. obviously i hope this opens up a new door or 2 in my relationship.

I went dressed once many years ago in comic fashion to a party and they never let me forget it. I haven't associated with them or called them friends for many years.
My view on people is that they have their ideas about a guy in a dress. And all of it, be it uninformed is negative. - i was kinda hoping by virtue of the fact that i'm married that would deflect any thoughts/stereotypes that people apply to us in the CD community (i.e. that we're gay and we all know we aren't)

I'd go as a pirate if I were you. :2c:

i do appreciate what others have said regarding going and having fun (to paraphrase) i will heed advice of others in this post and solicit advice from her as to what to buy etc to appear "clueless". i also will state that i found a website on the internet that will help me out and a local store. i also found a makeup artist too but i'm waiting for an e-mail from him back (the one responsible for my pics and avatar). i do not plan to do a dry run beforehand in her presence. i was kinda hoping to go the makeover place and get done up then come home. i realize that this will be the "ta da!" aspect of it....i'll have to keep periodically mentioning things throughout the weeks as to what i've found, what i've bought etc and if she'll be cool (in the good sense) with me leaving the house male and returning female. perhaps having her apply makeup too on me fr practice. i will show her the dress that i will get today and see as time goes on if she'll be ok. nothing that i get will be on display for her to see so she won't panic. i've not shown her the forms or corset either and she doesn't suspect that i dress either. again, folks any other advice, comments, suggestions etc that you could provide would be good. for those that have gone down this road i'd really appreciate hearing from. thanks..

[Dixie]

My wife and I are going as pimp and hooker to a party in Grand Junction, guess which one is me:heehee:

[Jodie Wexler]

My wife suggest several years ago that I go to a party with her dressed as
Jodie. I wanted to go but it was all people she worked with. My only thought was that people she works with would think "He seems too have done this before. I wonder how much?. I did not want want her to have to deal with stuff at the office, so I went as popular television character instead. She went as a French Maid and used one of my wigs. Yes the coustume is still around.
Now that I have all of your support I might go as Jodie if ever asked again.
Good luck with your party Ashlee. Jodie

[Wenda]

First, definitely proceed. This is a unique opportunity. Second, as others have pointed out, you and your wife are a team. Share with her your existing purchases, and get her opinion. About the most I would surprise her with would be a sexy choker, bracelet, etc.

I was invited/challenged to attend a Halloween event. Long time members may remember some posts I did re: Bras With Bling. Same suspects.

I already have my sexy black lace-up, skin-tight, thigh-high heels, my elbow-length lace-up gloves, lace-up stocking (seriously!!) and several choices for breast forms. Just purchased a couple of awesome leather/chain thongs, a couple of chokers, a seeet leather lace-up mini, a leather cincher/garter, a killer leather /mesh see-through bustier, a pair of leather vests, a black cape and a new long black wig. I have booked professional make-over.

My GF is considering coming as my Ma'am, if she can get the time off. Hoping for pics, w.

[Tracy_cd]

Be careful about being "too good". I went to work one year and several people said "you pass". So, playing dumb, I asked what do you mean, pass for what?

I had shaved my chest, wore nails, jewelry, the whole nine yards. My excuse was my wife said that if I was going to do it, she wanted me to do completely and not half way. In fact, she did my makeup, so it was much better than I ever do... Of course, she knows about me, and is tolerant but not into it.

I wore my hip pads and breast forms, big mistake! One of my co-workers, who is a long time friend, felt me up!! He said, wow, those feel real!! I gave him a hard time, jokingly threatened sexual harassment, etc, then explained them as water in punching-balloons. I wonder if he thought more about it...

I still get comments and that was many years ago! So, no one will let you forget about it, that is for sure...

But, it was a blast, one of the few times I have been out and about! I had to get gas and even walked the kids around the block trick or treating! Most people out with their kids did not even figure it out, but my neighbors did. One of them even shared a story about him being Madonna one year! Now that is cool!

I will not do it again though, it would cause more suspicion than was already created...

Tracy

[DonnaT]

I wouldn't worry about looking too good. I would worry about looking foolish. Like a clown.

So, since you are going to dress, and you've already told your wife, without objections, then do it right.

You might want to do a dress rehearsal for your wife the weekend before. To prepare her. She'll definitely have questions about your purchases, so simply tell her you wanted to look good, not foolish. Then ask her to do your makeup.

Then if she does it, thank her, and tell her you're plans for the makeover, so she won't have to spend time helping you get ready.

Now's not the time to tell her you are a CD.

[Ashlee]

The subject did come up again after the last post. The mrs. said she was fine with it. I got in touch with a makeup person who will make me look great, much like you will see in the avatar and pics. I wouldn'tdo this if there were co-workers there, considering what I do for a living it may not be a hit. I want to do this and with the ok of the mrs. how can i go wrong? I will have to steel myself for the questions (if they arise) I was hoping that it'd just be a hit wth the people there. "like, I can't believe you did this!!" I do want to say that hey, i went all out that's why I look like this.....i spent a lot of $$ on this venture. I do hope to have fun with this. I will however advise the bro in law who may encounter a co-worker to not go telling him what he saw. I don't think he would either. I'm wondering if anyones crossdressing ever got found out at work? How did it go, what do you dofor work. I gotta get this out of my system now as I've never gotten lucky enough to go to party. Again, there are no co-workers or my family. Only the bro-in-law, his g/f, my sister in law and husband and maybe an aunt and uncle and maybe a friend from h.s. I told that I wasn't sure as if pics are taken (and they will be) that her mom would freak. She stated that wouldn't happen and she'd probably laugh at it. I am wanting to do this....i need the help of you folks as to advice, things to say to keep momentum going etc. Everything is set....i got the dress, heels, fake jewelry, wig, hose, shoes, makeup person scheduled etc. Please reply back with any and all helpful suggestions....as for telling her I CD.....we'll hafta feel this situation out....it may happen behind closed doors which is ok but carrying it out to the public would be a whole other deal....i hope this can open some new doors in our relationship just not the exit doors!

[Jackie Mcd]

Hi ashlee, You have to be carefull not to over ask it may turn her off to the idea. I learned my lesson the hard way
Jackie






Hi,
I'm not too active on this site, i weigh in on topics now and again but I was wondering if you all could be of assistance.
The mrs.came home the other day and told me of her brother having a Halloween party. She had told me what she wanted to do and I said with expression and joking that I would go as a woman. She didn't react negatively to that, I don't think she thinks I'll do it. This would be the first time I've been to an adults only Halloween party. Anyway, a day or so goes by and the subject comes up again as to the party and what will I do. I replied again I'll go as a woman, considering what I do for a living (all macho trades) it'd be the last thing people would expect me to do. She didn't seem to have a problem with it. I told her (with her disbelieving me) that I'd go buy a dress at salvation army (I have another place in mind) and other stuff via walmart etc. Being a closet CD i have stuff already. My questions for you all is: what kinds of stuff can I say during the time leading up the party this month to make sure interest stays up, cold feet doesn't develop on her part etc. I do plan to mention now and again that "i'm headed out to try to work on my costume" etc. I will pre-warn her in the days up to the party that I"ll be leaving the house in male mode and returning female mode as sort of a preparatory situation. Anyway, just any advice please. I already went yesterday to Fredericks of Hollywood and waited for the store to be empty. The female associate wasn't surprised at all and helped me out. I got a corset and fake breasts. I told the mrs. that when I do things, like lots of things I go full steam, 100%. I also got clip on ear rings and a necklace. I should have a wig, dress and hip pads from the glamour boutique monday. All I'm waiting for is an e-mail regarding a makeover and I'm all set. Sorry for the length, I look forward to your advice and anwers.

[Jamie14]

Halloween a few years ago- she wanted to do the role reversal thing. She knew but didn't expect me to go all out like i did. We wentto a dance at a dance studio place- had a blast- didnt dance with her much though- danced with the other ladies there who complemented my bluse and black skirt. The swishing of my panyhose and flinging about of my hair was a sensation i will never forget!

[Ashlee]

to everyone for advice. i'm soo looking forward to this, there will be pics posted too in a few weeks of the outing. any others want to weigh in please do so, thanks!

[TriciaO]

Personally, I wouldn't want to do it unless I went all out and was as convincing as possible. Then I would worry about the other guests wondering how I could be so comfortable as Tricia unless I had been doing it for quite a while.

[Angie G]

Ashlee my advice to you ia go for it and have fun and after the party and she Konws how you enjoyd it you can work on dressing more :hugs:
Angie