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View Full Version : How feminine are you ... naturally ?



Victoria Anne
10-03-2007, 09:53 AM
I ask this as I have recently noticed that there are certain feminine mannerisms I have naturally and some I have to work at. Examples would be the way I position my legs when standing,the way I sit in the car,the way I hold my hands or drink or even squat to pick things up are of a feminine manner yet I have the hardest time trying to walk with a feminine touch. So how feminine are you ?

nikki_t
10-03-2007, 10:07 AM
That's a good question. I actually don't know but whatever it is it appears to be blatantly obvious to the friends that live over the road from me who are always calling me "girly". :eek:

Dale
10-03-2007, 10:20 AM
I am fortunate to have nuturally feminine characteristics.In high school I recall a classroom discussion about how people have both masculine and feminine traits. I remember the teacher singling me out as a male who has definite feminine tendencies, much to my embarrassment! Throughout college, I had to purposefully act more masculine and even joined a frat with a reputation for doing wild & crazy stuff and were the "bad asses" of campus. One of the members tried to block me from joining as he thought I was a "fag". I had not even CD'd or dated any men at that time in my life.So now, I find it very natural to bring out my femininity and enhance that which has always been there.All I gotta do is, act naturally!

ElaineB
10-03-2007, 10:26 AM
I often do cross my legs when I sit down but that has never struck me as being a female thing.

Something I noticed recently, while thinking about developing a female voice, is that I already have half of one! Sometimes if I don't pay attention my voice drifts into a sort of sing-song naturally and I tend to change my pitch upwards instead of speaking louder. This is probably because my mom was a single parent and for the first few years of my life I only heard women, I figure.

In almost every other way I tend to be very male. On those male/female quizzes I usually score around 80-90% male.

Victoria Anne
10-03-2007, 10:27 AM
I can understand that Dale as I have most of my life done the things that say "manly" to try to prove I was the tough guy and not femme dispite my feelings and mannerisms. I often have to remind myself to behave in a masculine manner.

nikki_t
10-03-2007, 10:32 AM
That's a good question. I actually don't know but whatever it is it appears to be blatantly obvious to the friends that live over the road from me who are always calling me "girly". :eek:

Actually, the more I think about it, it could be the shaved legs and residual nail glue that's giving me away. :heehee: Oh, and the way I always stand with my hands on my hips. :o

Ashley Lyn
10-03-2007, 10:33 AM
I have absolutely no feminine traits, except I LOVE to 'dress'! I don't walk, look or act like a 'lady', tho' I'd love to be able to.. I'd even accept the neighbors calling me 'Girly'..:D If only....

Guess being 6' 2" with a thin build, really skinny legs, a big adams apple and the fact that I drink too much beer (the belly is evident) and I'm way too old to be pregnant, has pretty much eliminated the possibility of me ever 'passing', tho' the SO is promising to "try her best"!!:heehee: Thank God for a 'loving' wife..

Looks like 'Dorothy' for Halloween..:happy:

BarbaraTalbot
10-03-2007, 10:47 AM
I can understand that Dale as I have most of my life done the things that say "manly" to try to prove I was the tough guy and not femme dispite my feelings and mannerisms. I often have to remind myself to behave in a masculine manner.

For the reason you and Dale stated, I have long ago altered gestures, walk, speech patterns whenever they were called into question. Regaining those at this point is hard to do.

Kate Simmons
10-03-2007, 11:23 AM
Good question Victoria Anne. Oh brother, I'm about as "feminine" as a cue ball (which means neutral, I guess). I really don't go out of my way when I'm Sal to act or walk or talk a certain way, so I think it would be considered gender neutral. On the other hand, I don't walk around like a bulldog either or try and make a pretense of myself as a guy when I'm Rich. Now that I think about it, I do cross my legs as Sal when I sit but I guess that is a case of "when in Rome". The one big exception is that when I dance, my moves are girlish and I just seem to flow along with the music. I've tried dancing stiff like a guy but even in Rich mode can't help but dance like a girl, I guess because that is the way I learned and my lesbian friends taught me how to move the "booty". Guess I'm doomed in that respect.:eek:. Oh well, I guess there are a lot worse things and it's all about being free to be myself in any case.:happy:

annekathleen
10-03-2007, 11:35 AM
Feminine Traits?
hmmmmmm......
I do laundry,
I do dishes,
I make the beds,
I mop the floor,
I vacuum the rugs,
:tongueout

docrobbysherry
10-03-2007, 11:40 AM
I often do cross my legs when I sit down but that has never struck me as being a female thing.

Something I noticed recently, while thinking about developing a female voice, is that I already have half of one! Sometimes if I don't pay attention my voice drifts into a sort of sing-song naturally and I tend to change my pitch upwards instead of speaking louder. This is probably because my mom was a single parent and for the first few years of my life I only heard women, I figure.

In almost every other way I tend to be very male. On those male/female quizzes I usually score around 80-90% male.

I have been trying to develope a female walk, etc. For when I'm in heels and full regalia. It's still not very pretty! I have noticed one thing that has changed. I never used to cross my legs at the knees before. Now, it's become my favorite way of sitting! U think anyone would notice that?

annekathleen
10-03-2007, 12:25 PM
How feminine am I (sexually?)
Can't tell you here:tongueout

jenniferj
10-03-2007, 02:13 PM
I think that most of us don't give ourselves away; I have tried a number of times to spot the likely crossdressers in a drab crowd and have found very few men that seemed likely.

Defining "feminine" is a tough job. The other night my "hubby" and I were chatting about feminity.

I had spent the whole day dressed, and had the house all picked up with candles burning when she got home. I had just had time to freshen my makeup and slip into a nice skirt and drapey knit top, and heels.

I met her at the door with a glass of orange liquor and sat with her for a few minutes; then while she read the paper I finished up the chicken picatta, which I served in the dining room (her at the head of the table, me in the "hostess" spot nearer the kitchen). I used the good china, glassware, and cloth napkins. We drank a nice chardonnay. Of course there were more candles at the table...

Anyway, she commented on how pretty I looked, and I thanked her, and then she asked the BIG QUESTION:

Do I think that I was fulfilling a feminine role? Is this how I think females should act - to serve their husbands?

I said No: I have instead noticed that when I am JJ, I have an overwhelming nesting urge that makes me want to please her in every creature way. I want her surroundings to be pleasant, her tummy to be happy, and for her to feel warm and very much loved. I find myself humming when I cook for her. And if there were a baby around, I'd like to nurse it...

I agreed that it's interesting that these urges are coupled with my crossdressing - when in guy mode I help out with the household chores but my heart isn't in it and if called upon to cook, it's usually something simple like hot dogs or meat on the barby.

I then suggested that these urges are probably linked to gender - in most societies the females are the homemakers for some reason and it may very well be that there is some genetic programming to encourage this. It would not be surprizing if those same tendencies were linked to the desire to look and feel pretty and delicate.

Again, I emphasized that I don't think women SHOULD be this way, but observe only that many are. And I am that way when I allow myself to be -when I'm dressed.

She seemed ok with this answer - I think that many wives worry that their crossdressing husbands are competing with them in terms of feminity. I am not.(I believe).

So the real question again is:

"What is feminine?"

If we say it is the way the large proportion of women act, we are probably safe. A lot of body posture is based on weight distribution and muscle tone; weighting one leg while tossing the other hip out is a result of the wider female pelvis and the lack of weight bearing exercise. Most athletic women don't stand that way, except for effect and few guys naturally do unless thay are (subconciously or not) feeling "female". The limp,loose hands that women toss about again doesn't happen in guys for a reason - most guys have much more muscle in their forearms and are not nearly so flexible. It's not so much that women actively do it. but that they don't stop it from happening. That's the reason it's so hard for us (particularly the tool users among us) to simulate - we have to force "limpness".

In social behavior, women have had a larger tendency to compromise and work to a common solution. As a result, their communication tools are more persuasive than authoritative. Girls don't singsong for the sound of it - they use the musical nature of their voices to gently persuade others to accept their ideas. We all do this by the way - think of your voice when you are trying to talk your dog into something...:) Eye contact, touching, smiles all play into this.

So is a unathletic, easy-going, accomodating guy likely to appear girlish? Probably to some - Just as football linemen see quarterbacks and wide recivers as girlish. And if you really feel girlish inside, it will probably show to some others.

By the way, in guy mode I look very much like an ex-football player, limping and creaking with reminders of previous injuries. People always notice my large, lumpy, scarred hands, and I walk with my head and neck forward in a rather brutish sort of way. Not one person has made any sort of suggestive remark about my 8" ponytail.

When I'm Jennifer, I walk like I'm 100 lbs lighter; I move with my pelvis leading and my hips and tush move side to side. My posture is much more erect and most of the brutish look is gone. 90% of the people I pass when I'm out don't seem to notice me at all. My voice is softer and I smile much more. I have exchanged a number of woman-to-woman smiles with strangers. I still don't know what to do with my hands, however.

I also write and type much differently as jj.

Sorry for the long opinion, but this is a very interesting topic.

-jj

noname
10-03-2007, 02:16 PM
I was never an agressive male but I was always asked or told that I was gay. I always made a point to ask, what makes you think I'm gay? I always got the same response, they never knew or could quite put there finger on it, I just seemed like I would be. I'm guessing my mannerisms.

Marla
10-03-2007, 02:45 PM
Over the years Ive become more feminine in male mode. Whether it is consious or not Im not sure, but I stand, talk and walk more fem and its been so gradual that nobody has noticed.
Ive always dreamed of being a woman full time and I guess its slowly creeped into my life. Thank goodness because its made me a better person. Forty years is a long time to crossdress in private. If any of you want to discuss all this, feel free to PM me anytime! Marla

Ruth
10-03-2007, 02:58 PM
So how feminine are you ?
Feminine enough to feel comfortable in a dress.
Seriously, I don't know. I'm not interested in sports. I don't like action films, prefer romantic comedies (loved the recent Jane Austen revival on screen). I love flowers and gentle soothing music.
But I'm a competent handyman and carpenter, can fix most things around the house. Can follow directions, fold a map, park a car.
So, where am I on that scale? Dunno but it suits me.

Linda C
10-03-2007, 03:25 PM
Wow - the time that I start to feminine is when I am all done up and I take that first step in my pumps - other that that I am pretty much a boy - at least that's what I think? - maybe I am wrong :eek:

charllote34
10-03-2007, 03:30 PM
i wouldnt use a masculine or feminine term to call myself i am just me !

RobertaFermina
10-03-2007, 03:33 PM
I prefer to cross my legs when I sit, and go through phases where I just don't use a urinal.

Often Roberta Mannerisms will creep through in boymode.

But really, I'm about 98% guy when I'm a guy. So there's a big difference between "Naturally" and CD-wise.

:rose: Roberta :rose:

Kris
10-03-2007, 03:44 PM
If we say it is the way the large proportion of women act, we are probably safe. A lot of body posture is based on weight distribution and muscle tone; weighting one leg while tossing the other hip out is a result of the wider female pelvis and the lack of weight bearing exercise. Most athletic women don't stand that way, except for effect and few guys naturally do unless thay are (subconciously or not) feeling "female". The limp,loose hands that women toss about again doesn't happen in guys for a reason - most guys have much more muscle in their forearms and are not nearly so flexible. It's not so much that women actively do it. but that they don't stop it from happening. That's the reason it's so hard for us (particularly the tool users among us) to simulate - we have to force "limpness".

In social behavior, women have had a larger tendency to compromise and work to a common solution. As a result, their communication tools are more persuasive than authoritative. Girls don't singsong for the sound of it - they use the musical nature of their voices to gently persuade others to accept their ideas. We all do this by the way - think of your voice when you are trying to talk your dog into something...:) Eye contact, touching, smiles all play into this.

So is a unathletic, easy-going, accomodating guy likely to appear girlish? Probably to some - Just as football linemen see quarterbacks and wide recivers as girlish. And if you really feel girlish inside, it will probably show to some others.

By the way, in guy mode I look very much like an ex-football player, limping and creaking with reminders of previous injuries. People always notice my large, lumpy, scarred hands, and I walk with my head and neck forward in a rather brutish sort of way. Not one person has made any sort of suggestive remark about my 8" ponytail.

When I'm Jennifer, I walk like I'm 100 lbs lighter; I move with my pelvis leading and my hips and tush move side to side. My posture is much more erect and most of the brutish look is gone. 90% of the people I pass when I'm out don't seem to notice me at all. My voice is softer and I smile much more. I have exchanged a number of woman-to-woman smiles with strangers. I still don't know what to do with my hands, however.

I also write and type much differently as jj.

Sorry for the long opinion, but this is a very interesting topic.

-jj

JJ and et all,

I have no idea where you get your information but I am totally offend by your idea of women. No wonder your wife asked you these questions.
The way women stand has nothing to do with pelvis size. MANY things effect how women stand.. I believe that more than that, mothers stick one hip out more because she is used to propping her child there so she can use one hand... Why? NECESSITY We are used to juggling kids and taking care of a bunch of other things - alone mostly.

Weight bearing exercise? WTF?? Women get tons of weight bearing exercise.. and we get pregnant so we are carrying more weight than normal. We have a center of gravity in our bodies that is different but who is to say men exercise more than women do? I know plenty of women that exercise all the time that stand just as feminine as anyone else. They might not BULK up the way a man does because of the testosterone but we have PLENTY OF muscle.

I gotta tell you, I am not a small woman, I am round. I am VERY SHORT too, 4'11". VERY round... many people underestimate me and are surprised when it comes to moving things like refrigerators up stairs and such. Now to look at me, you might think I am doughy but I can tell you that I am rock solid under the mass of fat that covers my skin on the inside because I have to be strong to carry this weight around.

Women DO actively toss their hands around. They are DRAMA QUEENS..... we are taught from a very young age, and do you know why? MEN (predominantly law makers and such in our society) do not LISTEN to a woman unless she is in crisis because then they get to ride in and be the hero. We are taught to be cutesy or play a damsill in distress to get our needs met. Then there is the attitude that women are less than men. They are worth less in the workplace and are to be treated differently. See, this has nothing to do with weak arms, it has to do with social conditioning. Even if you don't want to believe it.. it is true. I played the piano for years, I have strong hands and forearms. I can run a jack hammer for 4 hours straight breaking up concrete.. I have done it. So what is my excuse?

We have had to compromise our entire existence. We have had to work to find a common goal and work towards it together, because we HAD to. We didn't have BRUTT strength to walk in and say, "Do it this way or else I will....!" We had to find other ways. How many times have you heard men jokes about stopping for directions? Why do women do it? Because we know it's okay to ask for help.. and it hurts a mans pride to do so. We work together for a common goal.. a man has to do it by himself or he is weak if he needs assistance. What BS..... but it is SOCIETY.

We don't SING..... for goodness sake. We use our voices to portray what we think is going to get our needs met. PERIOD. That is what we have been taught. If you get your needs met more as a child when you were cutesy, then you are gonna have a woman who bats her eyelashes at every tire guy trying to get them cheaper. Our tone of voice changes when we get angry as well......... is that singing? It's nature. ALL humans do this, regardless of sex or social conditioning.

I am working VERY hard to break these stereo types in my children. I want my daughter to hold her head HIGH and look people in the eye and stand up for herself. I want her to know she doesn't have to PRETEND to be something to get her needs met. I want her to know she is STRONG and can do whatever she puts her mind to. I want to validate HER experiences each time she has them so she doesn't feel like she has to be a drama queen. I want her to be the soft spoken child she once was, before she started school.

I want my sons to be the best husbands or partners that they can be. I want them to support their lovers the best way possible. If the dishes need done, then do them. If the laundry needs done, DO IT. If the oil in the car needs changed and your woman doesn't know how, then you take her out there and show her patiently and do not make fun of her. Support her, let her know that you KNOW she is your equal and treat her accordingly. It is my job as a mother to make sure that I raise respectful sons. I have given all that I can into this. I am a proud mother and feel my work has paid off. I have GREAT sons. They make me PROUD. They wear PINK... I have done a great job.

Because I have busted EVERY FREAKING MYTH that you just said in their heads from DAY ONE.

PLEASE do NOT perpetuate this type of sexist thinking.

If you want to do these things when you feel feminine please by all means do them. But don't assign them to gender. You feel like acting helpless - do it. You want to cook and clean - do it.. more power to you.. but don't say it's because you are in your fem mode.. all that means is you CARE more when you are en femme.

Sorry for the soapbox rant......... this really ticked me off.

:hugs: Kris

Valerie
10-03-2007, 03:50 PM
I was working in my office late one night when a person cleaning the offices went by. He was surprised to find me there. I told him it was my office. 'Oh, sorry,' he mumbled, 'I thought the owner of this office was a woman.' I have no idea what he had seen there that gave him that idea--my mirror? In any case, I thanked him and went on working.
Valerie

trannie T
10-03-2007, 03:53 PM
About once every six months I notice myself making some kind of femanine gesture. The rest of the time the only thing femanine about me is my panties.

KatrinaAshley
10-03-2007, 04:12 PM
I haven't paid enough attention to myself to find out, must be near that borderline because it feels natural to be in either mode. I've been this way for some time, perhaps I don't notice anything unusual and why everyone just thinks I'm a bit weird.

Carroll
10-03-2007, 04:48 PM
I catch myself walking in a slightly femme way, hand gestures, things like that. I have been told by at least three people that their "gaydar" went off when they met me, but there was something that told them I was not gay. When I came out to them, it made sense to them. Go figure

jenniferj
10-03-2007, 04:50 PM
Oh dear!

Kris, I'm afraid you completely misunderstood what I was trying to say. I very sorry if I didn't say it clearly because I think we actually agree on almost everything you said.

The question was : "How feminine are you ...naturally?"

This question presupposes that there is a difference between masculine and feminine that can be detected without wearing female clothes. And I think the point of the question was whether we have feminine traits that are apparant when we are in drab mode.

I believe that I said that I was using observed, rather than inherent differences: Most crossdressers discover that no matter how they shape their body, how they do their makeup, how they style their hair that they do not pass because they stand and walk differently than most women do, they use their hands differently than most women do, and they talk differently than most women do. I think that most of us crossdressers try to emulate those mannerisms and don't really succeed ...

Women generally do not participate in heavy labor such carrying bundles of shingles up a ladder or cinder blocks across a job site; women do not generally push linemen's sleds on a football field or do crossover running drills. I know that some women do, and I pointed out that they generally stand differently than their non-athletic sisters. My daughter played serious soccer through high school and ran track in college - she moves very differently than my wife.. I also know that a lot of guys don't do heavy work, but through most of their life they have been told (or directed) to act as they do.

Similarly most women are more expressive with their hands than most men; The "tossing around" remark was meant really to describe men trying to act like women. Again, women who have done heavy manual labor will be more "masculine" in this regard - because their wrists and forearms are tighter.

And don't forget the effects of testosterone - guys get bulky and clumsy with much less physical encouragement.

We can all easily tell the difference between most women and most men on the phone - how is this done? Women tend to have a more musical quality to their voice, both in pitch and rhythm. As I think I said (and I think you agreed) this is because most women have a different objective than most men - and the speech patterns have developed to achieve this. I deeply regret the use of "singsong" - again this was meant to describe our clumsy male attempts to emulate a complex speech pattern.

We certainly did not raise our son to be "all male" nor our daughter to be "all woman", but they pretty much ended up that way. He likes car, she likes dresses and neither likes to do housework. We have taught them to be tolerant of others, and to be kind and compassionate. As I said, my daughter was the "jock" and my son had no interest in athletics. We supported them both in their interests and they each seem pretty happy and well adjusted in their early adulthood.

Sorry for the long winded retort - I certainly was not expressing my views of what I think a woman should be. I was merely trying to relate how I feel.

Again, I am very sorry that I offended you. Please re-read what I wrote with this in mind.

-jj

cherry
10-03-2007, 04:58 PM
I think to some extent you could shorten the question to "How relaxed and comfortable do you feel when dressed?"
Some days - very!Other days - mmmmm?

The cap theory is a good one and the feeling of how tightly the cap is in place can make you fel quite different in any field of life under most any changing circumstance.

Marcie Sexton
10-03-2007, 05:12 PM
Not very...

6'7" although there are some gals that tall I'm sure...

...but with out the help of Nair I'd resemble an ape...

angelfire
10-03-2007, 05:23 PM
I have very masculine traits naturally. I have a very, very deep voice (though many women think its sexy). I walk in a very masculine fashion, I stand masculine, my hand motions are masculine, my body type is masculine (6'2, 230 lbs). The only thing I think I do feminine without trying is holding my drink. I always hold it with my pinky out.

Kris
10-03-2007, 06:13 PM
Oh dear!

Kris, I'm afraid you completely misunderstood what I was trying to say. I very sorry if I didn't say it clearly because I think we actually agree on almost everything you said.

The question was : "How feminine are you ...naturally?"

This question presupposes that there is a difference between masculine and feminine that can be detected without wearing female clothes. And I think the point of the question was whether we have feminine traits that are apparant when we are in drab mode.

I believe that I said that I was using observed, rather than inherent differences: Most crossdressers discover that no matter how they shape their body, how they do their makeup, how they style their hair that they do not pass because they stand and walk differently than most women do, they use their hands differently than most women do, and they talk differently than most women do. I think that most of us crossdressers try to emulate those mannerisms and don't really succeed ...

Women generally do not participate in heavy labor such carrying bundles of shingles up a ladder or cinder blocks across a job site; women do not generally push linemen's sleds on a football field or do crossover running drills. I know that some women do, and I pointed out that they generally stand differently than their non-athletic sisters. My daughter played serious soccer through high school and ran track in college - she moves very differently than my wife.. I also know that a lot of guys don't do heavy work, but through most of their life they have been told (or directed) to act as they do.

Similarly most women are more expressive with their hands than most men; The "tossing around" remark was meant really to describe men trying to act like women. Again, women who have done heavy manual labor will be more "masculine" in this regard - because their wrists and forearms are tighter.

And don't forget the effects of testosterone - guys get bulky and clumsy with much less physical encouragement.

We can all easily tell the difference between most women and most men on the phone - how is this done? Women tend to have a more musical quality to their voice, both in pitch and rhythm. As I think I said (and I think you agreed) this is because most women have a different objective than most men - and the speech patterns have developed to achieve this. I deeply regret the use of "singsong" - again this was meant to describe our clumsy male attempts to emulate a complex speech pattern.

We certainly did not raise our son to be "all male" nor our daughter to be "all woman", but they pretty much ended up that way. He likes car, she likes dresses and neither likes to do housework. We have taught them to be tolerant of others, and to be kind and compassionate. As I said, my daughter was the "jock" and my son had no interest in athletics. We supported them both in their interests and they each seem pretty happy and well adjusted in their early adulthood.

Sorry for the long winded retort - I certainly was not expressing my views of what I think a woman should be. I was merely trying to relate how I feel.

Again, I am very sorry that I offended you. Please re-read what I wrote with this in mind.

-jj

JJ,

Then I am truly sorry if I misunderstood your intention.

I am a very tomboyish woman. I did construction and could shovel with the big dogs, I could jackhammer for four hours and that is HARD to do. I do take offense to being told that this is not feminine behavior. Because if I can do it, then it certainly is.

On the other side, I can remember coming home from work and crying and telling my then husband that I had turned into a boy...... and him laughing and asking why....... and me saying, "I wear kids boots (because they didn't make mens in size 3), jeans, t-shirts, flannel shirts and a freaking hard hat all day. What about that is female?" But my point is that I didn't carry myself any differently than I do in a dress, with the exception of trying not to fall of my shoes. :tongueout If I am in a dress and a table needs moved, I am the first one to grab it.... and have NEVER cried because I broke a fingernail.

I want BADLY to get rid of the stereotypes that strap us down. I want my lover, (hopefully a cd) to freaking WELD if she wants, in a DRESS and HEELS .. LOL not practical but I hope you understand my meaning. We don't HAVE to change these mannerisms and because we DO........ then it perpetuates the stereo types.

You can cook and clean and pamper your wife in male mode.. YOU haven't changed. Your clothing has - you CAN get in touch with your femme side in JEANS....

The difference is, you like those stereo types when it's convenient for you and I guess my objection to the whole thing is that when you born female, and have to deal with them (the downsides) all the time it gets tiresome.

That is why it ruffles my feathers so badly. I just want the sterotypes to stop and for us to be okay with just being human.. isn't that the thing that we all REALLY want?

:hugs: and :love:'s... Kris

PS I really am sorry. I didn't mean to jump so hard down your throat.

annekathleen
10-03-2007, 06:53 PM
Are you so feminine that you would prefer a man as a sexual partner instead of a female?

(not intented to offend anyone)

Some men are so feminine ( ex: some gays )
That they prefer taking a feminine role and prefer
another man as their sexual partner.

Kris
10-03-2007, 07:24 PM
Are you so feminine that you would prefer a man as a sexual partner instead of a female?

I am not sure if you are directing this question to me or not but my answer is.........
DUH! I am here, aren't I?

I am not a lesbian....... I could be the perfect lesbian is sex wasn't involved, but .. that is kinda what defines lesbian, right?

So what's the next best thing? A Chick with a *ick... (excuse the crudeness)

So if I wasn't the one directed to with this question, then I am sorry and you know way TMI on me now! :tongueout

Kris

Jazzmine
10-03-2007, 08:45 PM
Boy oh boy...we do get tangled up between what's male and female don't we!

My wife is a long distance runner - and because of that she has a typically flat economical walking style I would call (at the risk of getting my ears boxed) slightly male.
She is a tomboy at heart, is very strong although very slim and very competent at doing mechanical things. She is also very attractive and very feminine.

When I am dressed I would walk more feminine than she does naturally.
That's because I am enjoying my femme side and I am over-acting.

But her femininity shows up in so many other ways I couldn't possibly emulate it all at once. My brain would overload if I tried to do it all!

When I was thinner, I acted more girly because it was easier to cross my legs and less muscle bulk certainly gives you less rigidity. I've seen plenty of GG athletes down at our local track where I train that look very blokish in stance and posture. But equally, there are just as many GG athletes that look so feminine fully muscled. So I don't think muscles alone determines masculine/feminine traits.

I think the way you choose to see yourself shows up in your mannerisms. Just compare how you are in male mode versus femme mode. Most of us change mannerisms.

And traditional role models you carry around in your head overlay how you would feel while doing what you percieve to be male/female tasks. This can all be changed - just change your stereotypes in your head and you're free at last....

Hugs Jazzmine

Vaerise
10-03-2007, 09:15 PM
Are we referring to physical attributes or personality traits and behavior or the roles that we play?

Sorrie for quoting you Ann, but I thought it was fairly interesting how this thread turn out to be.


I do laundry,
I do dishes,
I make the beds,
I mop the floor,
I vacuum the rugs,

I wonder if we still feel feminine or try to be.. if say gender roles were reversed. Say females do the physical jobs, and males become the nest defender and nurturers.

NZ_Dawn
10-04-2007, 12:22 AM
My SO has frequently pointed out to me the manner in which I sit (especially crossed legs) when we are alone or subtly when we are out. I have no idea that I sit in such a feminine manner, but to her its obvious and so she says, will be to others. It seems to be just a sub-conscious act on my part. My wife has (complimented), out of jealosy she said, on my legs saying they are feminine and belong on a woman not a male!.

rustynail
10-04-2007, 04:00 AM
I just got a surprise! I have always thought of myself as pretty masculine, played rugby, heterosexual, beer drinking guy then I took I took the test at
http://web.tickle.com/tests/genderidentity/?sid=2005&supp=search_genderid_1&test=genderidentityogt
and it told me:
Rusty, you're 85% feminine
This is based on how you scored on a variety of traits that, founded on classic research and our own studies, are typically associated with women.

You're also 15% masculine, which is based on how you scored on traits that are typically associated with men. When we compare your results with other men it shows that you are somewhat more feminine than other men.

Mistybtm
10-04-2007, 04:13 AM
Feminine Traits?
hmmmmmm......
I do laundry,
I do dishes,
I make the beds,
I mop the floor,
I vacuum the rugs,
:tongueout

And so do i but i live alone and am always dressed when at home.
And also date men. :doll:

Patricia Danielle
10-04-2007, 06:07 AM
Never really gave it much thought, I'm usually as gracefull as a MACK truck in guy mode but do have some girley traits though. Like squatting to pick something up sitting cross legged and a few other little things but over all I guess it's just little things like that is what make us diffrent from each other, think how it would suck to have a bunch of half crazed MACK trucks running around in womens wear, don't know but might be kind of amuzing to watch? I'd get a charge out of it! Of course I still laff at myself when I do something stupid too.. Patricia.

annekathleen
10-04-2007, 06:47 AM
We are in the Male-to-Female CrossDressers forum, aren't we?
I am a male who cross dresses to a female.
I might be a little confused, and I don't mean to offend anyone,
...but did someone from the Female-to-Male CrossDressers accidentally
come here?
I am a male with masculine traits.
How feminine am I?
NOT THE LEAST BIT!
I enjoy wearing female clothes,
Being Divorced and living alone, I do all the predominately male and female chores.
I don't walk, talk, cross my legs, pee, laugh, or giggle like a female.
We may open up to each other, as to how feminine we might like to be,
How feminine we might like to act, both socially and sexually,
But, there is no right or wrong, it's what each one of us feels comfortable doing, and we have the support of each other in this web site.

erickka
10-04-2007, 06:52 AM
In guy mode, I'm as graceful and cultured as a bull in a china shop. I get all femmed out, and the female mannerisms all come to the forefront. Has taken a lot of mind training for me to be able to do this. I have gotten a whole lot of ma'am or miss greetings in the past, sure feels good for that to happen more often than not.

Tamara Croft
10-04-2007, 06:59 AM
We are in the Male-to-Female CrossDressers forum, aren't we?
I am a male who cross dresses to a female.
I might be a little confused, and I don't mean to offend anyone,
...but did someone from the Female-to-Male CrossDressers accidentally
come here?Accidently? what are you talking about? ALL members are allowed to post ANYWHERE on the forum, they aren't restricted into their allocated areas... and just who are you implying is a FTM anyway? This is offensive, you are implying we should stick to our own areas...

Adrienne Heels
10-04-2007, 07:03 AM
I use my hands a LOT when I speak, and I smile a lot. I also have somewhat of a feminine walk in guy mode. So I guess I am kinda girly all the time!

Jilmac
10-04-2007, 07:01 PM
I ask this as I have recently noticed that there are certain feminine mannerisms I have naturally and some I have to work at. Examples would be the way I position my legs when standing,the way I sit in the car,the way I hold my hands or drink or even squat to pick things up are of a feminine manner yet I have the hardest time trying to walk with a feminine touch. So how feminine are you ?

hi V.A. i'm jill and new to the site. i have been dressing for over 40 years and still not passable. perhaps it's because i'm not feminine enough.i can stand, sit, and stooplike a girl should. i always hold my legs together when i sit wearing a dress or skirt,but i haven't developed the proper walk yet and still have my baritone vioce. WHAT'S A GIRL TO DO? Jill

jennifer easton
10-04-2007, 07:47 PM
Not even! no way at all, that said, its what keeps me from geting out!!

Vaerise
10-04-2007, 09:25 PM
I apologize.. I realized the intention of this post was to be something supposed to be fun and light-hearted, I was inspired by certain descriptions raise and thought I share my thoughts with the rest.

Don't mean to derail the topic nor expect it to turn out like this. I'm sorry.

SandyR
10-04-2007, 10:28 PM
I tend to cross my legs like a girl even in guy mode. But I really need to work on my GG walk...

SandyR

docrobbysherry
10-04-2007, 11:27 PM
Hey Rusty,
I wouldn't put too much stock in that test. It said I was 88% masculine. I think I'm pretty far from a type A male. And 12% female? Give me a break! No way I'd consider checking out this site, much less CDing if that was accurate. See if I look 88% masculine:
myspace/robertsherry
RS

I just got a surprise! I have always thought of myself as pretty masculine, played rugby, heterosexual, beer drinking guy then I took I took the test at
http://web.tickle.com/tests/genderidentity/?sid=2005&supp=search_genderid_1&test=genderidentityogt
and it told me:
Rusty, you're 85% feminine
This is based on how you scored on a variety of traits that, founded on classic research and our own studies, are typically associated with women.

You're also 15% masculine, which is based on how you scored on traits that are typically associated with men. When we compare your results with other men it shows that you are somewhat more feminine than other men.

Susan.
10-04-2007, 11:38 PM
I'm not feminine at all. I never developed those characteristics. I never really tried because my wife hates them. Dressing is tolerable for her but not when I act feminine.

Vaerise
10-05-2007, 02:15 AM
I just got a surprise! I have always thought of myself as pretty masculine, played rugby, heterosexual, beer drinking guy then I took I took the test at
http://web.tickle.com/tests/genderidentity/?sid=2005&supp=search_genderid_1&test=genderidentityogt
and it told me:
Rusty, you're 85% feminine
This is based on how you scored on a variety of traits that, founded on classic research and our own studies, are typically associated with women.

You're also 15% masculine, which is based on how you scored on traits that are typically associated with men. When we compare your results with other men it shows that you are somewhat more feminine than other men.

I think the test is okay, although I don't put much faith in it. The test tells you whether you are more masculine/feminine based on how you answered, most of them deals with personality traits. It does not exactly touch on preferences, hobbies and mannerisms.



Its not uncommon to have a genetic girl who views herself as a girl to score high on masculinity, likewise for the straight guys with high feminine scores.

Katelyn
10-05-2007, 02:39 AM
I've been referred to as efiminate at one point. I think I am somewhere in the middle of masculine and feminine right now. I know that I'm not to try to cover myself up by trying to act tuff around others. That went out the door a few years ago.

mellisa's wife
10-05-2007, 06:25 AM
Feminine Traits?
hmmmmmm......
I do laundry,
I do dishes,
I make the beds,
I mop the floor,
I vacuum the rugs,
:tongueout

Doesn't anyone else but me see these TRAITS as mere survival skills..... both male and female???????????

Tamara Croft
10-05-2007, 06:34 AM
Doesn't anyone else but me see these TRAITS as mere survival skills..... both male and female???????????Not just traits, but sexist... anyone would think females liked doing those chores :rolleyes:

Katie Mathos
10-05-2007, 07:51 AM
I always cross my legs when sitting and notice that they are position as most women sit. Most of my interest are also fem as I enjoy learning about interior decorating, sewing, fem tv shows, and more comfortable with women than men.

Rebecca Liz
10-05-2007, 03:54 PM
My whole life I've been having to somewhat 'pretend' to behave like a guy. From standing to sitting to how I hold my hands, etc. In elementary school, I was actually a very welcomed part of the girl's group. I didn't even have any male friends that I can remember. We skipped rope and did the rhyming slap thing (I have no idea what that is called.) When I was in high school, my older brother on many occasions pointed out to me different mannerisms I had that were very feminine, so that I could train myself otherwise and avoid getting beat up. The ones I remember the most are walking and how I held books.

I guess I did a fairly decent job, because I've 'fit in' with the males in my life, as much as I can, although I've never fully felt a part of the male gender. I just don't get them, for the most part. It's always been an act, for me. Perhaps this is the reason I get hit on and flirted with by gay men quite often (although I have absolutely no interest in men.) Recently, I made friends with a lesbian - the very first time I met her she asked if I was gay, and didn't believe me when I told her that I wasn't. I didn't see her again for several months. The second time I saw her she asked me again. I asked her why she thought I might be. She said that I was "gorgeous" (although I very much disagree) and said that I had many very feminine mannerisms, and my voice has that sing-song quality that women use. I must admit that I've caught myself displaying these mannerisms many times, especially when I am very involved in a conversation. My SO, who is well aware of my cross-dressing and feminine tendencies, but hasn't gotten "the talk" about transgenderism yet, keeps calling me gay, and asking when I'm going to come out of the closet.

So, in answer the the thread's question, I would have to say.... standing, sitting (almost always with legs crossed), and walking (all of these, to the degree that my natural motions slip past the act I've learned), apparently some quality of my speech (although I naturally have somewhat of a deep voice, unfortunately), empathy, a desire to be surrounded by women as an equal (I always feel rather offended when I'm lumped with "the guys"), and hobbies (reading, cross-stitching), love of shopping for (women's) clothes. I know there are other things I'm forgetting....

The more I watch myself, the more I see the gap between myself and the guys. I actually took that gender identity test mentioned earlier in the thread. I'm sure of its accuracy, but I did score a 90% feminine. Not really surprised, but it was still a bit of an eye-opener.

Dee Talbot
10-05-2007, 04:13 PM
Naturally......not at all. I clomped like a boy from my first steps :D It takes conscious effort on my part to remember to soften my walk to be more ladylike. And, it's not a question of body shape. I, like my grandmother before me, have a very round and feminine build. She clomped.....I clomp. Being a GG is no guarantee of femininity. I'm about as feminine as a longshoreman. (Apologies to any longshoreman here who are naturally feminine :eek: )

Dee

Victoria Anne
10-05-2007, 07:25 PM
I thought it would be an interesting question since as I had said , have recently noticed how feminine many of my mannerisms are. I am as most of you know very happily married to a loving supportive and understanding woman who does not see the dressing but see's me for who I am and supports that. I enjoyed reading the responses as many were of a good fun nature and a few to make you think a bit of how we do "act" and what is natural for us. Thanks again :hugs:

Kris
10-05-2007, 07:35 PM
Are you so feminine that you would prefer a man as a sexual partner instead of a female?

(not intented to offend anyone)

Some men are so feminine ( ex: some gays )
That they prefer taking a feminine role and prefer
another man as their sexual partner.

OMG! I am on crossdressers.com.. it's no secret here that I am interested in crossdressers. I am hopelessly heterosexual.

Why don't you just ask what orientation I am, rather than it being a masculine or feminine thing.... WHY?? I realize you don't want to offend anyone.... or that was not your intention but it DOES offend me. If you are man and want to be feminine doesn't mean you are GAY.... or all the heterosexual xdressers would be gay then.

Kris

Kris
10-05-2007, 07:47 PM
I might be a little confused, and I don't mean to offend anyone,...but did someone from the Female-to-Male CrossDressers accidentally come here?

OKAY DUDE, You might actually not be trying to piss people off but you are doing a FINE JOB OF IT. FYI... the Female to Male humans are ALSO welcome here... WHAT IS THIS SUPPOSED TO MEAN? They aren't welcome? No one but crossdressers are allowed here?

I am a male with masculine traits.
How feminine am I?
NOT THE LEAST BIT!
I enjoy wearing female clothes,
Being Divorced and living alone, I do all the predominately male and female chores.
I don't walk, talk, cross my legs, pee, laugh, or giggle like a female.


So, because you don't walk, talk, cross your legs, pee, laugh or giggle that makes you more manly? I understand that men sit to pee, good lord my dad was as masculine as you can get but let me tell you he spend all his time sitting down to pee because he had a houseful of daughters who would burst in the door if there was an emergency and almost EVERYTHING is an emergency when you are a little girl. No one DARED to call him feminine. Men DO giggle... they cross their legs when they sit and if you have ever seen a pigeon toed MAN he walks like a girl - because that is how they teach you how to get the swing in your backyard in modeling school. So that is not MASCULINE? WTF.......

I need a chill pill.

Kris