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KateSpade83
10-12-2007, 05:11 PM
As I got my oil changed at the Dodge Dealer today I used my most expensive dream bike - a 2006 CF Cervelo Soloist Team with Zipp 404 wheels - to stop by a Burger King and eat lunch. People who don't know much about road bikes take one look at this bike and they say it's so beautiful. And it's really a $9000 bike I got all from ebay for around $5600. Several people said nice bike. Then one guy started talking to me about how he rides too and has a $3700 Specialised bike. He invited me to a group ride and offered to share a telephone number. But I told him I never do group rides and I just usually take a ride whenever I need to control my weight from eating. And then I told him I only bike in the fat burning range, so you don't wanna ride with me if you do fast rides. But deep down inside, I felt like brushing him off because I felt so insecure that I have 34 beautiful womens skirt suits in my apartment. And later if he becomes a friend and finds out then he'll dump me. - And this has happened in the past. Well, another reason was I feared he might just befriend me to ultimately set me up to steal my expensive bike.

Well, do you feel insecure in making guy / dude friends because you have to lead a double / secret life as a crossdresser? I do ! What has happened in your past experiences with new guy friends that found out?

Mirani
10-12-2007, 05:13 PM
Just because you are paranoid, it doesnt mean they are not out to get you! :)

charlie
10-12-2007, 06:12 PM
As I got my oil changed at the Dodge Dealer today I used my most expensive dream bike - a 2006 CF Cervelo Soloist Team with Zipp 404 wheels - to stop by a Burger King and eat lunch. People who don't know much about road bikes take one look at this bike and they say it's so beautiful. And it's really a $9000 bike I got all from ebay for around $5600. Several people said nice bike. Then one guy started talking to me about how he rides too and has a $3700 Specialised bike. He invited me to a group ride and offered to share a telephone number. But I told him I never do group rides and I just usually take a ride whenever I need to control my weight from eating. And then I told him I only bike in the fat burning range, so you don't wanna ride with me if you do fast rides. But deep down inside, I felt like brushing him off because I felt so insecure that I have 34 beautiful womens skirt suits in my apartment. And later if he becomes a friend and finds out then he'll dump me. - And this has happened in the past. Well, another reason was I feared he might just befriend me to ultimately set me up to steal my expensive bike.

Well, do you feel insecure in making guy / dude friends because you have to lead a double / secret life as a crossdresser? I do ! What has happened in your past experiences with new guy friends that found out?

Hey Relax!
I have expensive classic cars and hang with gear heads all the time. Most would not understand the fact that I am sitting here in my office writing to you while wearing red heels and a short taffita skirt. I just try and keep all the people in their niche...wife, friends, work. It sure would be nice to have someone else that likes to dress, but that is something else!make friends, ride the bike and dress when you can.

Byllie
10-12-2007, 06:22 PM
Ya know, there's this old dumb saying ...

"Nothing ventured, nothing gained"

If you can accept the rejection, then go ahead, join him for a ride. If not, then maybe don't. either way, do what feels comfortable.

Jolene
10-12-2007, 06:23 PM
Never be afraid to make a new friend. You do not have to share the CD side of yourself with anyone.
Jolene

Corinna E
10-12-2007, 06:45 PM
i say show up for the group ride in some short spandex shorts and a sports bra with a wig on. see if he remembers you!! :happy:

annekathleen
10-12-2007, 06:54 PM
I have a lot of friends in a lot of different interests, but none of them know of my cross dressing, nor of my accumulated feminine attire!
I've been out socializing with all of them as I wore panties underneath my jeans.
I have hunting buddies, shooting buddies, stock car racing buddies, foot ball buddies, motorcycle buddies, snowmobile buddies, but unfortunately:sad:
no cross dressing buddies where we can share out wardrobes and stories.
I think it'd be fun to have a buddy come over and show him all of my hidden secret treasures, maybe lend each other outfits like other "girls" do.
Oh, well... Just don't let cross dressing keep you from socializing!!!:hugs:
Maybe hidden in one of your future new friends, is, oh no,
another crossdresser!!!!!!

KateSpade83
10-12-2007, 06:58 PM
I guess I have poor guy self esteem because my reputation had been hurt from crossdressing in another city... Major gay reputation from buying too many womens clothes as a guy!

AmandaM
10-12-2007, 07:51 PM
I know what you mean. I was outed by a girlfriend and lost all of my friends. About 12 friends. Long-haired, pot-smokin' types. Probably better for me but it hurt like hell. Now I have two friends. One I haven't seen in about a year. And the other I've never been to his house and only see him about once every two months. That's exactly where I like it. Now, if I could find a CD buddy who has the same hobbies as me, sure! Don't feel guilty, protect yerself.

KarenSusan
10-13-2007, 12:59 AM
Never be afraid to make a new friend. You do not have to share the CD side of yourself with anyone.
Jolene

This is true. I believe friends are one of the most important things in life. You do not ever have to invite your friends to your home. I always meet my friends in a public place (restaurant or bar). It's strange but I always get a certain amount of satisfaction sitting with my friends and thinking, if they only knew what I am really like and how I will be dressed as soon as I get home.:D

Khriss
10-13-2007, 03:37 AM
or bummee... allways Yer choice when it comes down to"it" eh?

Carroll
10-13-2007, 07:14 AM
I have found that most male friends that I have (which is few) that know about Carroll are alright with it. The basic attitude is "what ever floats your boat" and I just don't want to see it". If a friend finds out and them "dumps" you, then he/she was not a true friend

trannie T
10-14-2007, 01:09 AM
Close the closet door when somebody comes over to visit. Don't answer the door wearing only a bra and panties. Staying in the closet is OK, you do not need to become a recluse because you are a crossdresser.

Amiad
10-14-2007, 01:42 AM
Let's find new friends here.....Like you I CD and I am afraid of ANY friends because of the fear of being discovered or "outed". So lets start the search for better friends.

I recently moved to San Jose CA, I crossdress and I am straight. My hobbies are bowling, rock climbing, billiards and I am learning whitewater kayaking. If you are in this area of California please write.

Amiad

Suzie Green
10-14-2007, 08:08 AM
Hey I'm a bike junkie too...nice wheels! I ride with lots of people and have done so for years and it doesn't affect my CD life at all. It's pretty easy to keep things separate. Let's go for a ride sometime!! :hugs:

Sedona
10-14-2007, 08:36 AM
Kate,

I know what you're talking about, to a degree. I've always been one to have a small circle of friends. My inner circle is basically my girlfriend, a couple of other local friends, and about six good friends out of state. Of those, three know about my CDing. I've always gravitated toward having female close friends. The last thing I'd want is a bunch of rowdy guys over for a game and have one of them start going through my closet.

I'm also a road cyclist, and ride solo most of the year, but will do a group ride now and then. It's funny, most of my cycling clothes are women's (androgynous colors, etc), but I do have some "guys" cycling gear for groups, etc. . .

I'm a bit paranoid about theft as well, as my bike is high end too, but if you do decide to do a group ride, your area should have weekend rides listed online. Usually lots of ability levels, so as long as you can manage about 16mph for an hour, you should have no worries about speed. PM me if you want.