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Lesley Ann
11-13-2008, 08:27 PM
Went out today for a social occasion, lots and lots of people there, unbeknown to me, my SO showed some photographs of Lesley to a friend of mine who was also there. I was chatting away, with a glass of wine and having a good time, when Fred (not his real name!) came up and said "When you have a moment can I have a word" which some time later I did, and when he told me I looked fantastic (his words) I didn't know quite what he meant, then he told me that my SO had shown him photographs of me as Lesley, I could have fallen though the floor! You must remember the occasion was an annual affair, and most of the guy's there I have known for at lease twenty-five years. Fred then said he would like to take me out for dinner dressed as Lesley with my SO. My reaction was OMG I have been outed, my second thought was that he thought I looked fantastic, and he wanted to take me out for dinner. I looked across the room and soon spotted my SO, who had seen me talking to Fred, then she smiled. Well to kill a long story everything ended OK, and the three of us discussed going to Joe Allen's in London's Covent Garden, me as Lesley! My SO for some time has been saying that I should come 'out' and she thought this was a good way, four hours ago I did not agree with her, but now..........?

I am nervous, excited and looking forward to Joe Allen's but am still not sure, this will be (if I go) the biggest test for Lesley.

Faith12
11-13-2008, 08:39 PM
wow sounds like a scary moment. But I say you should do it, I think you will have a great time.

DonnaLynn77
11-13-2008, 08:40 PM
Wow, congrats! DO IT girl, you will have so much fun. :)
How lucky that your wife did that, and I'm sure she gave it a lot of thought beforehand too.

Let us know how it goes!

xo,
Donna

sallyjones
11-13-2008, 08:46 PM
ithink you should go out you will be with your SO for a safety net. you will get the chance to be out and be comfortable. feeling comfortable out is a major hurdle and since youve been out before, this should just affirm things for you. have fun.

deja true
11-13-2008, 09:20 PM
Is it possible that your SO might have known that your friend Fred was either a CD himself or an admirer?

If that's not the case, then I think she took a bit of a liberty with your privacy, hun!

Still, everything seems to have worked out okay for now, huh?

Let us know the outcome, okay?

:)

Lori SC
11-13-2008, 09:28 PM
Is it possible that your SO might have known that your friend Fred was either a CD himself or an admirer?

If that's not the case, then I think she took a bit of a liberty with your privacy, hun!

Still, everything seems to have worked out okay for now, huh?

Let us know the outcome, okay?

:)

I was thinking the same thing Deja. Your SO must know something about Fred, and I'll bet he's an admirer or gay.

Even though it worked out OK, Your SO should not have done that without your approval.

Even so, I think you should go out. Having a guy buy your dinner would be a great experience. Just be careful about where things could lead.

Hugz, Lori

Celeste
11-13-2008, 10:22 PM
Sorry ,if she did that without asking me I would be livid.I mean, whats she gonna do next ,accidentally drop a few photos in the floor or something,can you even trust she won't do that too.Sounds more like truth or dare doesn't it.

Glenda
11-13-2008, 10:45 PM
Regardless of whether those that respond think she should have shown the pictures or not, I think you are lucky. You have a chance to share this part of you with a good friend and your SO. I think you should be thrilled anticipating going to dinner knowing that he is interested in meeting Lesley. It is so nice to be able to let good friends know your femme side. It really makes you feel good when they accept you.

There are all kinds of reasons that SO's might choose to show pictures to someone else. While many of them are for the wrong reasons, there are some with only good intentions. I don't believe she was doing this in a malicious manner and I don't believe you are truly offended. Sometimes you just have to trust a woman's intuition.

joann426
11-13-2008, 10:55 PM
i wood think if he wanted to take both of you out for dinner i wood be very delited to take him up on that go for it girl!!!!!!!

ggtracy
11-13-2008, 11:37 PM
It is likely that she knew he would be supportive and wanted someone to share her "secret" with. it can be very lonely for a SO not to be able to share such things with friends, like pictures or stories about good times you've had together.

she must be very proud of you and I am glad it worked out well.

Tiffany8
11-14-2008, 12:21 AM
... Well to kill a long story everything ended OK, and the three of us discussed going to Joe Allen's in London's Covent Garden, me as Lesley! My SO for some time has been saying that I should come 'out' and she thought this was a good way, four hours ago I did not agree with her, but now..........?

I am nervous, excited and looking forward to Joe Allen's but am still not sure, this will be (if I go) the biggest test for Lesley.

I used to live in London. About 10 years ago mind you, but still, I lived there.:2c: Sounds like you have some pretty undrstanding friends. Not something you tend to see anymore.

Tracii G
11-14-2008, 12:37 AM
Keep us posted how it was.
I outed myself the other day to a young lady that runs one of the small business I frequent she wanted to see pics so I showed her.No big deal.
Have a great time.

Angie G
11-14-2008, 01:09 AM
Go Lesley and enjoy it hun.:hugs:
Angie

sterling12
11-14-2008, 01:33 AM
I don't think I would be taking her to The Family Reunion. If she did it once, she will more than likely do it again. If you don't have a "heart to heart" with her, she will now feel that you are giving her permission to blab.

The Issue isn't whether or not you go out with this guy. Unless you don't care, you have a very real problem and dire consequences could be just over the horizon.

Peace and Love, Joanie

Janie Gunn
11-14-2008, 04:13 AM
I agree with Joanie. I'd call that an invasion of privacy. If anyone did that to me i'd.... lets just say it wouldnt be pretty. If as ggtracy suggested, that your SO wanted someone to share her "secret" with , she should respect whose secret it really is, because first and foremost its 'your' secret. That violates trust, in my opinion.

Janie

Jess_cd32
11-14-2008, 04:41 AM
Sorry ,if she did that without asking me I would be livid.I mean, whats she gonna do next ,accidentally drop a few photos in the floor or something,can you even trust she won't do that too.Sounds more like truth or dare doesn't it.

I agree, I think it was a betrayal of trust and if it was me I'd be pissed, how do I know that? because it happened to me and she was gone shortly afterwards. "I swear on my Mothers life" was a joke to this girl:eek:

I'm also like others thinking there may be more to it???????

carolinewalker_2000
11-14-2008, 05:08 AM
If you do decide to dine out as Lesley, Covent Garden is about as good a place as you could hope for. I know that several of the restaurants in that area are TG friendly and that several girls regularly dine out there. Good luck.

BeckiB
11-14-2008, 07:07 AM
WOW I think that would have some trust issues. I don't think sharing your photo's without asking you or at least talking to you about it first is wrong. What if it hadn't gone the way it did?

karynspanties
11-14-2008, 07:12 AM
WOW I think that would have some trust issues. I don't think sharing your photo's without asking you or at least talking to you about it first is wrong. What if it hadn't gone the way it did?

I agree, why would she show your enfemme pictures to poeple without your knowledge? I would have been pissed! Who else has seen these pics without you knowing? This would not sit well with me at all, even with the good response.

MarinaTwelve200
11-14-2008, 07:44 AM
I agree, I think it was a betrayal of trust and if it was me I'd be pissed, how do I know that? because it happened to me and she was gone shortly afterwards. "I swear on my Mothers life" was a joke to this girl:eek:

I'm also like others thinking there may be more to it???????



Ben Franklin once said "Three people can keep a secret ---if two of them are dead" ;)

sometimes_miss
11-14-2008, 07:52 AM
Well, a lot of us dream about being accidently outed, and being accepted. Maybe your wife did know something about your friend. Well, you're out now. Make the best of it. Enjoy your night out, 'out'. But as above, let your wife know you don't want any more surprises. Don't get angry; she took a chance and it worked, sometimes we all have to 'roll the dice'. Good luck.

Sammy777
11-14-2008, 08:11 AM
On the dinner part - Your friend sounds very OK with it all, so go out & have a good time.

On the showing pics part..........
A big part is just how did she do it?
Mistakenly jumping to a picture you don't want others to see on a digital camera while looking at others is one thing.
It could have been purely a mistake & went from there.

If she happen to have [rare in the digital age] hard copy photos & showed them, that is a big No No!

If she intentionally showed him digital pics off your camera that is a big No No too!
[If this was the case, then lesson learned - delete photos off camera card before leaving house, or use a different memory card just for Lesley.]

I'm sorry, but "A woman knows" or "Womens intuition" just doesn't fly with this one.
Her need "to talk to someone" does NOT give her card blanche to decide when, where & who it gets talked about to.


Went out today for a social occasion, lots and lots of people there, You must remember the occasion was an annual affair, and most of the guy's there I have known for at lease twenty-five years
This type of gathering was not the time or place to be doing that & it could have gone very bad, very quickly.

If she felt he was the accepting type, then setting up a lunch or dinner at a later date to tell him would have been the right thing to do.

I would find that a major breach of trust & something I would not quickly forget. But that's just me.

Di
11-14-2008, 08:32 AM
Well glad it worked out ok and hope can you someday trust your s o again. She was totally wrong . It certainly should have been a joint decision on telling anyone.

Michelia
11-14-2008, 10:32 AM
You have an incredible SO.

Angel.Marie76
11-14-2008, 10:49 AM
My .02$ says trust your instincts. You said you've known these people for years now, so, do you really know 'Fred'? Do you think he would tear you down in public? How do you feel about going on a date with him, really? I know you said you want to get out more, and sure, having your SO with you for saftey and support would be execellent.

I agree with many of the others here though when I say I would be significantly purturbed if my SO went about showing photos to me CD without asking me pointedly about who/what/where/when/why.. it's just a respect issue. (esp. if you're REALLY closeted.) IMHO, though, if it were me, and as many of /my/ friends know I'm definately not a 'man's man', to see me dressed in picture form might be more humorous than anything - just depends on the pics, the person, and what the reasoning really was.

I do envy you though, a chance to go out on a date dressed, perhaps with a man who actually TRULY found you attractive, sounds absolutely amazing. Best wishes on the event hun! :hugs:

/TANGENT ALERT/ This conversation brings out a conversational/relational quandry.. exactly how much of 'yourself' do you present in conversation if you've known this person for a few years? They've known you, but not known YOU... I may hunt for a seperate thread on this thought / start one / need to be pointed to one just to satisfy my own curiosity now. ;)
/END TANGENT/

Sandra
11-14-2008, 10:54 AM
My :2c:

No matter how accepting she is, IMO she should have at least discussed it with you first.

AmandaM
11-14-2008, 11:15 AM
I find this a bit odd. What's next? Will she say you should dance with Fred? Date him? Do you think this is all innocent? It's perplexing. Tell us what happens.

Sallee
11-14-2008, 11:19 AM
sounds like fun Lucky you. Wish my SO was that accepting

Sally2005
11-14-2008, 02:04 PM
Trust is a big on for me. But, also I've reached a level that I accept what I am doing, so if no damage is done then why not? She should have asked you first though... In my case, I went out for halloween, so I have to expect word might get around, but I didn't expect my inlaws to email other inlaws with photos...since it was just for Halloween is my cover, it will help me figure out who has a problem with it and just tell them to get over it. My main concern is over my family (ability to earn income, kids well being, etc.) Still in the closet pretty much.

DonnaT
11-14-2008, 05:29 PM
It was a risky thing for your SO to do, but since you don't seem to mind, then I won't harp on the trust issue.

I would like to suggest, however, that you stay true to your SO when out on your date. If dancing with Fred is suggested, fine, but don't let them pressure you into doing anything you're not comfortable with.

Being a writer and fan of TG fiction, little flags pop up when I here stories like this. Not that your story is fiction, no, I'm not suggesting that. But in some stories the SO set the CDing husband up for devious reasons.

I'm not suggesting that is the case for your SO and Fred. Just saying that's the kind of thoughts that come to my mind. I guess I'm sad that way ;)

Schatten Lupus
11-15-2008, 12:03 PM
I was thinking the same thing Deja. Your SO must know something about Fred, and I'll bet he's an admirer or gay.

Even though it worked out OK, Your SO should not have done that without your approval.
It is possible your SO knew this Fred would be OK with it, and since sometimes the best push is an unwanted one, your SO may have done this to push you out in the right direction.
I'd go through with it and have fun.

Shelly Preston
11-15-2008, 12:16 PM
I think you need to have a long talk with your SO it maybe she has more information than she is telling you

I assume she knew what the reaction would be before saying anything
Most women would not have put you in that situation but she did and you need to find out why

Is he a crossdresser too and they are keeping it as a surprise ??
Are they used to visiting crossdressing venues ??

Good luck if you decide to have a girls night out

gabe
11-15-2008, 01:59 PM
Obviously you know your friends and SO the best. My SO is extremely understanding and accepting, I trust her with my life. But if she outed me to my friends and associates then I would have a real issue with it. I realize it is not fair for her to be burdened with a secret, but there are things we just do not discuss outside of the family, it is not just about CD. Make the best of the situation, it sounds like you have a great friend and SO.