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tanya1976
11-15-2008, 03:26 AM
Ok, I'm new here so forgive me if this is a faq but...as a starting point does anybody think it is realistically possible to fully come to terms/accept ones crossdressing side? This forum is a big step, or another step along a continuum, of acceptance for me. Or maybe it is standard to go through phases of acceptance/questioning? I'm at least reconciled to the fact that I enjoy it to much to stopand the guilt aspect has greatly decreased with time. Although the value of having a fully understanding/non-judgemental/encouraging partner cannot be understated either. Well, I'll keep it brief for now. Any thoughts/opinions/similar experiences etc much appreciated! Ps. Can anyone also enlighten me as to why my picture is not appearing in my profile?! It has uploaded...

Holly
11-15-2008, 03:38 AM
If you use the forum search function and search acceptance or self-acceptance, I'm sure you will find scores and scores of threads dealing with the subject. Your profile picture IS in your profile (very pretty, BTW). If you are talking about a picture appearing under your name, that's an avatar and needs to be uploaded separately. As for your question, yes it is possible to fully come to terms with cross dressing. Many of us have, others still struggle, and still others are just beginning the journey of discovery. We hope we can help you along in your quest.

Tracii G
11-15-2008, 03:43 AM
Very pretty indeed.

Jonianne
11-15-2008, 04:13 AM
.......does anybody think it is realistically possible to fully come to terms/accept ones crossdressing side?.......

Without a doubt Tanya.

avril findlay
11-15-2008, 04:40 AM
My only advice is to accept what is your nature. You can pretend if you like, but (in my opinion) it's better to be yourself.

sterling12
11-15-2008, 05:02 AM
Yes, you can come to terms with it, you can find self-acceptance. But, you are "The Determiner," (Sorry Arnold, not Terminator) of whether or not you come to peace with it.

Self examination is a lifelong process, it requires a lot of the person doing the examining. However, I always remember the quote: "A Life unexamined is not worth living." If you have a brain, and your capable of abstract thinking, you will almost always end up examining your life. For Transgendered Folks it's almost impossible to avoid doing it....we have so many unanswered questions.

Maybe that's my best advise, if you want to learn how to "cope." As you go through your self-examination take those "unanswerable questions," and learn to stop worrying about them. The best philosophy is the simplest: "No, I don't know why I do this...nor does anyone else." "It is just a part of me, and will be for the rest of my life." "I choose to accept myself and enjoy my gift!" "And, now on with the rest of my life!"

I don't know about you, but it works for me.

Peace and Love, Joanie

Clara
11-15-2008, 09:26 AM
... does anybody think it is realistically possible to fully come to terms/accept ones crossdressing side?

Definitely. And for some it can happen really fast. It's about you and the support you get. I've been on this forum for about two months now and it has helped immensely. (I've been lucky to find this forum only few months after I started dressing.) I have a supportive wife and that helps greatly. I'm pretty much open minded which also helps (if you open minded about others it's easier to accept yourself). My biggest problem was to figure out myself. Of course, I still don't understand myself completely but I do understand myself well enough to accept myself. Oh, and pay attention to the posts of supportive wives and girlfriends on this forum. They offer some great insight.

Miss Tessa
11-15-2008, 09:39 AM
Yes, I know for a fact it's possible.

From first hand experience I know this.

I am also comfortable and came to full terms with my sexuality.


I'm a bisexual Transsexual girl.

I have transitioned and come to terms with being a woman and knowing it's ok for me to wear these clothes and makeup.

And I have come to terms with liking men, which I never really used to, then I started to, but still kinda suppressed it, and now I have come to terms with it.I like in the following order: T-girls, women, and men.



There is a fabulous motive for coming to terms with feelings and lifestyles like these.

And that would be an immense sense of FREEDOM you will feel.

Freedom because you're not hiding from YOURSELF.

Kelsy
11-15-2008, 09:42 AM
Tanya, your post ,once again, has given me and I am sure others here the opportunity to reflect on what we do and who we are. I believe that this introspection, this search for answers, along with our CDing and trangendered ways is life long. It can be a struggle at times. For me The acceptance I have allowed myself is in fact acceptance of all of the aboved mentioned aspects and includes all of the joys and sorrows of this life I have been given. I am who I am and I have learned to be very happy with it.
Please relax and enjoy yourself. The posts here have contained wonderful affirmations of who you are "beautiful"

:hugs:Kelsy

darla_g
11-15-2008, 09:46 AM
I think it is very true that one can accept their crossdressing and be comfortable. I also think you can reach a level of comfort for one's SO, family or friends if that is a desire as well.

Let me add that the degree to which one wishes to pursue this is important too. There are some that this is just a part of their to fully transition to a woman, while for others they just want to dress full time. Others may just want to put on some clothes and thats it. I like the idea of going all out, but only doing this on occasion. Its like a train with different stops along the way, hang on I'm getting off here.

dancinginthedark
11-15-2008, 09:53 AM
Ps. Can anyone also enlighten me as to why my picture is not appearing in my profile?! It has uploaded...

It is showing in your profile Tanya. It may have something to do with the ten post rule in place. Have a read here.

Your Questions Answered (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/faq.php?faq=answered)

User Profile Features (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/faq.php?faq=vb3_user_profile)

BTW welcome to the forum.

dancin

docrobbysherry
11-15-2008, 12:10 PM
Ten years CDing, one year on this Forum. I've come to terms with my gender, and my sexuality.

As for CDing, no. I have no idea exactly HOW CDing fits in with my gender, OR my sexuality! Or why I do it. (I know this forum has been a big help to me!)

But, I'm sure of one thing, CDing SURE IS FUN!:D

tanya1976
11-15-2008, 02:28 PM
Ok, thanks everyone for the replies. Strange going from very little info/opinions to alot. I am enjoying it though. To be honest I still find it a little strange (in a good way!) that I've finally worked up the nerve, in however small a capacity, to engage with the cross dressing community. It took me a long time.. Thanks again for the kind replies, it was really nerve wracking posting but you made it alot easier. Tanya.

sometimes_miss
11-15-2008, 03:32 PM
Tanya, first, welcome. I'm pretty new here too, and everyone has been exceptionally nice and helpful, in contrast to some other CD sites I have been to. And, it certainly is possible to 'come to terms with Cding', but how long it takes varies from person to person. Don't rush to any conclusions about anything you're feeling. You might get an 'Ah ha!' one day, only to find out it wasn't quite right the next day. And don't be afraid to post, or ask, something that you may feel will be seen as a stupid question. We've all been there at one time or another, and most don't seem to mind repeating ourselves to help another.

Victoriacr
11-15-2008, 03:54 PM
Tanya, what you described and your experience is, I believe, common to all.Self doubt is not productive, so keep positive. Victoria

Chrissy8888
11-17-2008, 11:43 PM
Tanya welcome to this forum. It is a great place for self discovery and support. First off you are not alone. I can only speak from my experience. It was actually easier for me to accept my cross dressing when I was much younger than it was when I was in my early 20’s. It was not the “macho” thing that made me feel guilty but I still can’t tell you what. Then I had to do some soul searching. What I found was I am not going to change who I am. What I am doing isn’t hurting anybody including myself. After accepting those things I found that it is just one part of me. I am just like every other human I am complex. I embraced it like every other part of me. Something in life we can change, other we cannot.

suchacutie
11-18-2008, 12:54 AM
In my less than usual circumstance, along with my wife, we went from all male to heels, stocking, garter, a name, and trying on one of her dresses all in 3 days. Within a month I had two bras, B forms, more shoes, wig, and most importantly conversations about how women exist (i.e. think, act, talk, decide, decide not to decide, decide to talk but not to decide, etc.) and what women learn for the first 20 years of their life about being a women. By two months later we had bought me another skirt and top, and then came the makeup lessons. The frenetic pace has just continued.

What I'm trying to say is that once my wife blurted out, "we HAVE to buy you a dress" (this is at minute two of tina's existence), we've just never looked back. We've defined this as an exploration of my feminine side and how it fits into our lives. It was never IF, just HOW.

Your avatar pic is terrific. Maybe like me you already have the IF...maybe it's just refining the HOW. :).

tina