Femininity or the lack of

[Shari]

Hi Girls
I attended a wedding yesterday and the reception thereafter.
I noticed that the majority of women wore primarily slacks and jackets. Not many skirts or dresses anymore. The clothes were generally nice, but not very sexy or alluring.
I always equated being a female, particularly one attending an affair like that, to show a little leg and maybe some cleavage. Why not advertise the assets a little more?
There were some notable exceptions, but it occured to me that we as a group here, care more about how we look than most gg's these days. I see it at the malls and the restaurants and the workplace too, just about everywhere I go.
It's just the general slobby, sloppy looks from the majority of gg's anymore. No makeup, no jewelry, no femininity in general, sweatshits, jeans that don't fit and smelly old shoes. I won't even go to the overweight issue.
I see prettier women here on a lot of your avatars.
Any thoughts?
A confused Shari

[Deborah Jane]

There are many and varied reasons why people dress the way they do Shari.
How many women now bemoan the fact that men rarely wear suits and ties?

At the end of the day it is everyones choice to dress in a way they feel most comfortable with themselves.
Many women never wear dresses or skirts.
I don,t even own a suit or tie.
It our own choices, we dress to suit ourselves!

[marykrissmithcd]

Shari, I totally agree although the place I work still has women dressing very nice; but alot more pants. I notice women when I shop and I'm better dressed than they are, even the good looking ones. I wear jeans shopping but not without pantyhose, heels and nice blouse or sweater. I grew up 50's and 60's. Women didn't leave the house without dressing up. Girls in high school always wore dresses or skirts with nylons.

[Jonianne]

Shari, true Femininity is in the heart, not the outward appearance. Women are going to wear what is comfortable to them, just as we choose to wear what we want to wear at the time. Besides, I think women look great in pretty much anything they wear.

[Nicki B]

Ye Gods...

You mean a woman can't be feminine or sexy in trousers? :wall:

And sometimes they don't 'advertise their assets' precisely because it brings unwanted attention? If you want to be taken seriously, having people just talk to your chest is, at the very least, off-putting.. :rolleyes:

[Miss Tessa]

Yeah women feel that feminist freedom to dress more slovenly and also but not equated to, adopting male clothing.


Is it bad? No.

I think people should feel the freedom to dress how they want.

We can be the pretty ones then.

I don't always go out in full makeup. Sometimes I just throw on some sandals on my feet and some lipgloss on my face.

And I wear jeans out more than I wear skirts. I do like minidresses though.

[Kate Simmons]

I understand what you are saying Shari but it's all a matter of perspective and choice really. To be quite honest, I would have to say that most women have more natural femininity in their little pinky than I do even when I'm dressed to the "nines"and I've been doing this for years. Both femininity and masculinity are really relative and open to interpretation though as all humans are a mixture of both. I find it more gratifying to accept others (both male and female) for who they are as people and not based on some society "standard" one way or the other because of genetics.:)

[deja true]

Hey Shari, prepare yourself for a smackdown.

And, more important, try to come to the realization that both men and women just dress the way they feel...and these days, comfortable is better.

It's often been voiced here that gg's are letting the femme side down by not putting more effort into looking attractive (alluring,you said...) in public. Why should they? In general guys don't!

We all, myself included, have been guilty of this kind of teen-age girl thinking that appearance is everything. That it's necessary to spend a long time getting ready just to go to the freekin' mall for some new batteries or to the laundromat. It's not!

If we wanna fit better into the normal female life, we better start thinking like normal women. And that means we don't hafta obsess over our appearance all the time. That it's a hassle and inappropriate to be "alluring" all the time.

Wanting all the ladies to be dressed in floaty dresses and heels all the time is a function of our own voyeuristic preferences, not a failing of society in general.

It's in the mind, hun, not the hemlines or denier of our pantyhose.

'Sides, if you were paying attention, those slacks and jackets on the ladies at the reception were prolly very high quality designer gear. The point of "dressing down" is to concentrate on the people, not on their fashion sense!

:)

[anouk]

The not so feminine clothing among GGs is partly a result of a big emansipation process, and maybe that's why feminine clothes are regarded as sort of symbols of unequality. And many female clothes are really unpractical and it's more comfortable not to wear them every moment.

On the other hand the GGs are aware that the dresses, skirts stockings etc sort of trasmit "feminine signals" to men and that is one thing women want to control. So they may use these "feminine weapons" only in occasions they really want - and enjoy it wonderfully then. But at least here in Finland even this kind of enjoyment is very strictly contolled by other women.

[Teri Jean]

Shari,
In my line of work, A university, I see a lot of women dressed to kill but there seems to be a trend towards looking frumpy. Poorly dressed and in many cases like they just hopped out of bed, pajamas included. When a young grad student came to work dressed like I would going into the back woods for a hunting or fishing trip I couldn't contain myself and had to let her know how I felt. She took the advise to heart and since has dressed more feminine.
When we would go to church there was no doubt on what is the attire for the day but today it is just the opposite. Although I dress each day and love the feel of a skirt/dress and nylons I find women seem to be stearing the other direction. I love to see a woman dressed in a skirt or dress but I agree there are better dressed women in our forum than on the streets. Maube that is why when we go out dressed we are spotted because women don't.
So ladies strut your stuff because our ggs are not and what are the fashion industry going to do if we give it up also. Heeheehee. Huggs to you all. Keli

[sometimes_miss]

I think part of it is due to women embracing their 'emancipation' by doing things that were in the past, reserved for males. But a problem comes about, when they confuse what they want in a male, with what a male wants in a female. I've come across a tremendous number of women who think having a good job, a nice car, and owning their own home automatically makes them 'a catch'. These same women were once quite attractive; but since they have focused on acquiring qualities that make men more attractive to them, they've abandoned any desire to be physically attractive to men. You see it in the media as men are given an ultimatum, 'take us as we are because we're not going to change'. I vaguely remember a movie titled something like 'real women have curves', meaning 'real women are fat'. And today, they, for the most part, are. Western society women are growing rounder by the year, still under the bizarre impression that how one looks shouldn't matter at all. And they're more comfortable in less revealing clothes. And yet, they still cling to the preference to taller men, and feel that isn't something they should have to compromise on. It's just going to keep getting worse before it gets better. If you want more feminine, attractive women, you're going to have to go to other countries where female beauty is more appreciated. The down side is, crossdressers are even less welcome there than we are here. Then again, I've heard that Japan has women who are more open to us.......something to investigate.

[Ema1234 GG]

You criticise GG's for what they wear but then moan about the fact that you aren't able to wear your choice of clothing in public? Isn't that a little hypocritical?

Perhaps the phrase "live and let live" is appropriate is it not?

[VeronicaMoonlit]

The clothes were generally nice, but not very sexy or alluring.

Were you wearing a sexy tie and suit for all the women to ogle you? It's not their job to be sexy and alluring for you to look at.



I always equated being a female, particularly one attending an affair like that, to show a little leg and maybe some cleavage.

Well, you shouldn't.


Why not advertise the assets a little more?

Unwanted attention?



There were some notable exceptions, but it occured to me that we as a group here, care more about how we look than most gg's these days.
Any thoughts?
A confused Shari

Sigh

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=94229

<Dr. Evil>You just don't get it, do you Scott.</Dr. Evil>

Veronica
Rondelle (Ron) Rogers Jr.

[Anna the Dub]

I myself don't think that the trend nowadays of women wearing more comfortable clothes makes them look any less feminine. A women can still look very, very feminine in a nice cut of jeans and a plain top. Don't get me wrong, I like a nice dress as much as anyone, but along with heels they are not exactly the most comfortable outfit to wear in the world. Clothes are unimportant, merely wrappings to keep you warm, inner femininity will shine through irrespective of what clothes a woman is wearing.

[Scotty]

I've noticed it as a whole back from when I was young..

In some ways I think those women don't want to look that way.

I totally admire a woman that puts a dress/skirt on - to me that is artwork...

[Ema1234 GG]

Shari, I totally agree although the place I work still has women dressing very nice; but alot more pants. I notice women when I shop and I'm better dressed than they are, even the good looking ones. I wear jeans shopping but not without pantyhose, heels and nice blouse or sweater. I grew up 50's and 60's. Women didn't leave the house without dressing up. Girls in high school always wore dresses or skirts with nylons.

I disagree, pantyhose with jeans? And a blouse?

To me personally being a 20 something I wouldn't be caught dead wearing that. But that's my personal opinion. If you want to dress like that then that's fine by me, go ahead. But in my opinion you certainly aren't better dressed than me.

But that's it isn't it. We are all entitled to wear whatever we want to wear, and we certainly shouldn't think any less of another person because of what they wear. Neither should we think we are better than someone else because of what they wear.

[Sonia_cd]

Im going against the general trend of posts on this thread and agree with you. Let me now proceed to explain myself. I, in my male form, dress distinctly different depending on the occassion. To work, it would be smart and professional, to a club/dinner it would be slick and to a wedding, it would almost certainly be a suit and if not, a kurta (Indian attire). I completely subscribe to the view that certain functions and events demand a little dress-up and making the extra effort. Those are the times one gets to emphasize one's masculinity/feminity and one way to do that is to reflect it in one's clothing.

Lots of my GG friends look at weddings as the perfect dress-up opportunity and are very comfortable with that as well. They enjoy the process as they enjoy the attention it brings at that event. These are the very same women who would be seen in jeans all the time or trousers at work. I would be very disappointed if it went the way of dressing down for social events like weddings simply on the grounds that trousers are more comfortable.

[DemonicDaughter]

Hi Girls
I attended a wedding yesterday and the reception thereafter.
I noticed that the majority of women wore primarily slacks and jackets. Not many skirts or dresses anymore. The clothes were generally nice, but not very sexy or alluring.
I always equated being a female, particularly one attending an affair like that, to show a little leg and maybe some cleavage. Why not advertise the assets a little more?
There were some notable exceptions, but it occured to me that we as a group here, care more about how we look than most gg's these days. I see it at the malls and the restaurants and the workplace too, just about everywhere I go.
It's just the general slobby, sloppy looks from the majority of gg's anymore. No makeup, no jewelry, no femininity in general, sweatshits, jeans that don't fit and smelly old shoes. I won't even go to the overweight issue.
I see prettier women here on a lot of your avatars.
Any thoughts?
A confused Shari

Oh! Let me dress for YOU! Let me "show off" my "assets" just to make YOU happy! Yes, lets degrade myself into arm candy, a sexual object, just something to make other people feel better.

PUH-LEASE! If you can't see how a woman can be feminine AND sexy without having to adhere to YOUR standards of clothing then I honestly doubt you will ever understand the dynamics of being one!

And thank you as well for putting down fat people in SUCH a polite way! That was so nice to point out that you feel fat equates ugly. Very nice.... :straightface:

[unclejoann]

Since the girls here are maintaining a high standard for femininity, it is our calling to get out dressed more often and set a good example for GG women, so that one day they can return to the lovely forms of dressing that they have been abandoning.

[Ema1234 GG]

Lets take this another way shall we?

You are basically saying you are a genetic woman therefore you should wear clothes that society deams to be gender appropriate....

Let's flip that on it's head shall we?

You are a genetic man so therefore you should wear those clothes that society deams to be gender appropriate?

And there was me thinking that was exactly the opposite of what this forum was about? Silly me, I clearly got it completely wrong didn't I? :doh:

[Di]

OK THIS THREAD IS DONE THIS IS A SUPPORT FORUM AND PLEASE READ THE RULES THERE WILL BE NO complaints about the way females or any other cross-section of the membership dress .