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View Full Version : Concerned and hit a low



Teri Jean
11-16-2008, 10:48 AM
I know what I feel and how I want to live but this morning while doing the dishes and laundry I got a feeling of dispare. Am I just going through a phase or just letting my emotions get the best of me?

Last night I was out with some veterans and I was approached to run for another higher office in the Legion and I said yes. It's a honor plus it is something I want to do. Then this morning while doing chores it hit me that living two and sometimes three lives at once I get overwelmed.

I have outed myself to a couple of close friends and they are fine with it but I feel the door is partially open and Keli is being seen as who she is for the first time in 59 years. I have also not told the daughters but with the holidays fast approaching I find it difficult to concentrate on the things I need to do and more on where I want to be as Keli.

Maybe I need to slow down and be realistic. But that sounds like slamming the door again. I have found a wonderful and rewarding life here with equally wonderful sisters and I don't want to loose that. Many of you have gone through this and have come out better for it but it seems difficult right now.

I have tried to be possitive with all my new sisters even when there has been disagreements and now I'm looking for your help and understanding. In particular Karen and Susan have made me laugh and smile and I could use it again. Thanks to everyone. :sad::hugs::love: Keli

Miss Tessa
11-16-2008, 10:54 AM
I know what isn't a phase.
Your crossdressing. It seems that TG of anytype is part of a person's identity.

I too, know the overwhelming feeling of living multiple lives.

When I began to transition and was curious with living the life of a TS woman, I often had to change into male clothes to go certain places and act male.

This was hard on my psyche and affected me "feeling real" like a real woman feels.
I just wanted to be a Full Time Me.

Jessicaparkson
11-16-2008, 11:03 AM
I'm also in transition. Keep one thing in mind. Crossdressing should be fun, not like a work assignment hun. If you don't feel like doing it, don't. Keep it that fun little thing ;)

Oh and you won't lose this community....we're persistent.

Holly
11-16-2008, 11:07 AM
Sounds to me like you are just beginning to hit your stride. Living two or three (or more) lives is something people do all the time... housekeeper, room mother, purchasing agent, employee, nanny, etc. Our GG's have learned to balance several things at once, all with style and grace. You're on the right track!

Angie G
11-16-2008, 12:30 PM
By slowing down you don't have to SLAMM THE DOOR hun. do you really need to get there right now would it be so bad of it was just a bit longer. Take some time to think about it Keli and you can work it out.:hugs:
Angie

Teri Jean
11-16-2008, 12:53 PM
Angie,
You are right and that is what I need to do, so I will let you know how it went. Thanks hun, Keli

RavenAndrea
11-16-2008, 01:14 PM
Keep the door open! However take one step at a time and go slow. I found it is much easier to come out to friends than family. If your friend rejects you for coming out, you can always make new friends. That doesn't hold true for family members. Good Luck.

older Andrea

renee k
11-16-2008, 01:45 PM
Hi Keli,

Sometimes it's difficult to keep things in perspective. Like trying to walk both sides of the street at once. I have a circle of friends from my TG life, and another set of friends from my other life if you will. And it gets hard sometimes to keep my balance. I'm sure there are many of more us that face the same problems. When things get a little hairy, wijh friends and activities. I just take a step back, make an assement and try to accomadate what I can. That's all you can do. Even take some time for yourself ,don't get caught up in a rat race. Stress in your life is something you don't want. It's not healthy. A nice hot bubble bath and a glass of wine come to mind, when I need to relieve a little stress.

Huggs, Renee

Ronni Seymour
11-16-2008, 02:06 PM
I do empathize with you, Keli. Hope you come out stronger, hon. And I've also found this forum to be a real place of support.
:hugs:

Teri Jean
11-16-2008, 07:52 PM
Thank you girls, it is nice to have sisters that not only understand but are there to talk with you. After the last post this morning I decided what I needed was to get out of the house and go for a ride. So I finished dressing in a nice blue blouse and leather mini, grabbed the purse and drove over to wonderful sister(CDer) and dropped in unanounced. Not knowing if she would be home, I drove the two hours anyway and Susan was there.

We talked about how we needed to get together and today was the day.Susan you probably read this and I have said it before but thank you for being there. It was a beutiful afternoon and we will have to get together again. But thing I wanted to say to all the sisters, thank you for being so dear and willing to help even if it is half way around the world. Huggs to all of you and if you have cd friends in your area get to know each other for sitting and talking, shopping together or what ever you like helps when things get rough. Love you all, Keli

docrobbysherry
11-16-2008, 08:28 PM
Being overwhelmed is just a fact of living in our world. If u think of CDing being JUST ONE MORE THING, it may make it easier to handle. Like having to get new tires on the car, but u don't have the time or $$ to do it just now!

Except that if u mix CDing with your regular everyday life and aquaintances, it's more like you're suddenly walking around naked! As for the effect on others. And they'll never think of u the same way again! :sad:

Now, THAT to me seems REALLY OVERWHELMING!:doh:

And to those of u that have, or WILL, go out dressed every day, u have my utmost respect!!:thumbsup: