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View Full Version : Just want to wear skirts and heels...so what am I?



Rachel B
11-16-2008, 06:56 PM
Hello all, I've been doing a lot of soul-searching lately regarding my "tendencies" and I would like to share a bit of my mindset with you.

Ever since I was young (maybe 13ish, puberty probably) I have had an urge to wear what is technically known as womens clothing. In particular skirts, tights, panties, stockings and heels. I have always found it to be a sexual urge that makes me want to dress. Although I have spent whole days dressed I dont think I would do it if it didnt turn me on.

Only recently have I began to buy/wear bra's and blouses and earlier this year bought my first wigs.

What I have found myself thinking about a lot recently is how much I enjoy dressing in skirts and heels and panties etc but keeping the top half of me as a bloke.

I like wearing black eye liner and dark shades of nail paint, but I dont want to go down the road of the whole make-over every time I dress. I do want to on the odd occasion, but for the rest of the time I'd rather just be me in the comfy but sexy feeling clobber.

I have gone out like this a number of times recently and feel more comfortable doing it.

What I have found more and more disconcerting over the last few years is having what is regarded as a "normal" sex life. I dont have one anymore:daydreaming:

I'm always thinking about Dressing whenever I have sex with my GF. As I said above I have started wearing eye liner and nail paint, actually got my GF to kinda suggest it so that it was more like her decision to make me over, sneaky or what?:heehee:

She knows all about my crossdressing, and is okay with it but not as supportive as I want her to be. I'd love to go shopping with her and have her pick clothes for me etc, but she wont and I dont push it.

I'm just worried this feeling, urge, tendency, call it what you will? is starting to create a problem that I cannot do anything about.

MJ
11-16-2008, 07:11 PM
you are a t-girl in training :tongueout

ReginaS
11-16-2008, 07:16 PM
Oh Rachel! I did the "crossdressing from the waist down" thing for years. I think I truly believed that was all I wanted at that time. I progressed as you did, adding the other things and going out dressed.
I have had wives and gf's who are somewhat supportive. Dressing used to be a huge sexual turnon and I was able to bring it into the bedroom at times and would frequently think about it when I could not.
Over the years it has become much less about the sex side and much more about letting my outside match my inside. I still present about 80% of the time as a guy but I have progressed. I have both my ears double pierced now; something I thought I'd never do. I am getting laser on my whole body and letting my hair grow. I can't wait to not have to wear so much makeup to cover up and a wig. I have some thoughts of hormones and getting trach shave surgery.
I am mostly happy but it can be lonely; I have twice divorced and have ended another long-term relationship and all have been at least in part caused by my tansgenderism. I know there is a woman out there who will accept all of me; I just have not found her yet.
I don't really know where I am heading but I do know that the more I am able to accept myself the more I progress. I identified as CD for a long time. I no longer like CD; I now identify as transgender or a T-Girl. To me that says it is about my identity rather than the clothes (not that I don't love the clothes!).
Good luck on your journey!

jillleanne
11-16-2008, 07:29 PM
Rachel, all of us on Planet Earth can ask the same question. Try not to think of it as 'who am I' so much as 'do I like who I am?' The dressing in clothing associated with the opposite gender is simply a way of expressing your feminine gender characteristics. It has nothing to do with your sexual preferences, ie, gay, bi, hetero., etc. Because you were initially sexually aroused by it really only tells you that you were sexually turned on by it. It may turn out that is as far as you go with it, some do, a simple fetish, while others will continue on all the way to total transition with GRS and become a woman completely. Enjoying it is most important. if you need a definition
(which I hate), consider yourself gender enhanced. You will, like all of us, meet many bumps in the road ahead. Tackle them with your heart and mind, and don't let anyone steer you away from being who you are.
Hugs, Jill

suzypier
11-16-2008, 07:39 PM
Don't worry, you will need more and more and unable to stop like us. :)

docrobbysherry
11-16-2008, 08:01 PM
For years I only dressed from the armpits down. I got aroused looking at and touching my legs in nylons. But, not that much, or often. Then, I started trying on my special faces and wigs, etc. THAT'S what put me over the top!:doh:

And it turned me on like nothing, or nobody else! That was over 7 years ago, and CDing still always gets my motor running!:D

Rachel B
11-16-2008, 08:20 PM
docrobbsherry, I'm starting to find that thinking about being dressed or actually being dressed is one of the very few things to get my motor running......

skirtsuit
11-16-2008, 08:25 PM
Rachel,
Do whatever you want and don't feel pressured to 'go all the way' if you don't want to!

My story began as so many do, with a pubescent PH fetish and now in middle age, has progressed 'only' to dressing from the neck down. I tried messing with makeup & wigs and stuff but it didn't do anything for me. I love, love, love women's clothes and am comfortable with being a male with a serious fetish for buying and wearing the clothes. I think there is a lot of confusion with the whole CD/TV/TG spectrum on this forum because the name is 'crossdressers.com' but seems mainly dominated by people closer to TGs than all (or mostly) male crossdressers like myself.

Ultimately, who are you doing all this for? Yourself, of course. So as long as nobody gets hurt, do whatever turns you on.

All the best,
Skirt Suit

Deanna2
11-16-2008, 08:29 PM
Just want to wear skirts and heels...so what am I?

In my book - normal.

There is nothing nicer and more relaxing than just hanging out in a skirt and heels. Throw in a nice lacy cami and it is my typical round the house day wear.

Billie_P
11-16-2008, 08:32 PM
Just want to wear skirts and heels...so what am I?

Ummm...

1/2 CD

a Scot

enjoying yourself

normal

pick one or more ;)

sissystephanie
11-16-2008, 09:01 PM
Rachel,

You are a very normal crossdresser. Some of the ladies on this forum are more talented in makeup and wig fixing then others. Look at Karren Hutton as an example. She does not resemble a man at all, but she is! When my late wife did my wig and makeup, I too could easily pass for a lady. Well, at least for a female!:heehee:

Now that she has passed on, I just go out as myself. A guy in a skirt and other feminine apparel. I wear feminine outer clothing most of the time, and panties and bra almost all the time. Keeping true to the tradition started many years ago when our children were just babies, I do not dress around my children. At least not visibly! Even though they are now grown, I still outwardly am a male around them. My daughter does know that I am a CD, but has never seen me dressed and doesn't want to. My son does not know and won't if I can help it.

So be yourself, and dress whatever way makes you comfortable. Remember, you are pleasing yourself. If your GGF is accepting of your CD'ing, you are lucky. I was not only a husband to my late wife, I was also her best girl friend!! We had a lot fun together!!

Stephanie

Lady on the outside, but man underneath!

ReginaS
11-16-2008, 09:30 PM
Normal = setting on a washing machine.
I'd say we are all just working on being OK as we are.

Introvert123
11-16-2008, 11:12 PM
Finally, someone who feels the same way I do. Mainly my thing is shoes, but still, I know exactly what you mean. Everyone here basically covered all there could be to say (which is great advice for anyone, including those of us completely new to CD), but do take comfort that you're not alone, and that it's human nature.

There's no crime in that, is there? I think not! :hugs:

MarinaTwelve200
11-16-2008, 11:27 PM
The turn-on aspect suggests that your CDing may have a fetish basis, but it could also br a normal hetro reaction to female appearing body parts, and the actual CDing rooted in something else, such as a desire to temporally escape one's identity, a SM self humiliation thing, the thrill of "taboo tripping" or any of a variety of usually unrelated psychological conditions in which wearing of the clothing of the opposite sex is a symptom.

The fact that you are turned on by the female appearing body parts would likely rule out homosexuality, if thats what you are worried about, but Yes Gays DO crossdress too, but usually for non sexuality related reasons.

Vicky_Scot
11-17-2008, 07:11 AM
Its simple. You are....well.........You.

Xx Vicky xX

Sarah Martin
11-17-2008, 07:35 AM
Rachel,

You ask 'what am I?'. I guess my answer that that you appear to be a well-adjusted individual who has reconcilled their male and femme parts to live in harmony. You only want to 'dress' on your lower half? Why not?...do it! There are some CDs who only wear a bra, or tights/pantyhose. Others go for the whole 'drag queen' look. You do what suits you!

You say that you would like your partner to do more (go shopping etc) but implicit in the thread you posted is the recognition that this is a 'drawing of the line' by her and that you should not try to push things along at this time.

I suggest that you accept things as they are now and see how they develop over the next few months. My partner went from grudging acceptance to buying my clothes for me over a couple of years. Maybe your partner will become more accepting and supportive when she has more familiarity with Rachel.

Hope things work out for you.

xxx
Sarah

Tasha McIntyre
11-17-2008, 07:54 AM
Hi Rachel.

Your story is very familiar and very common. I did the waist down thing all my life until 2 months ago when I joined here, now its the whole wig and make up deal - thanks for that girls :daydreaming:. The thing is we all have our own levels of dressing, and for our own reasons too, although I'm stuffed if I know why I love girly clothes!

As fas as the acceptance from your gf, be thankful for it and don't push her boundaries too much or you risk losing support.

good luck in finding yourself. Tash

Lorna
11-17-2008, 09:08 AM
I too can understand the "lower half only" approach to dressing. For a long time that was all I did. However, much of the attraction for me is to do with the feel of the clothes and when I wanted to feel what it was like to wear a dress I realised that it wouldn't be right without a bra, so I soon learned that wearing a bra added to the overall sensation.
There's also a practical aspect: usually I have only a short time to dress and then get back into male mode. Undressing completely in order to put on a bra as well as the "lower" items takes twice as long - so I sometimes still go no further than lower-half dressing. I am not able to go out dressed (not outwardly, anyway) so that and lack of time means I don't bother with make-up or hair. If I don't look at my head and shoulders in the mirror, those things don't matter.

Michelia
11-17-2008, 10:53 AM
docrobbsherry, I'm starting to find that thinking about being dressed or actually being dressed is one of the very few things to get my motor running......


Do what you like to do and enjoy.

On the other hand, I do not know what you mean by "getting your motor running". If it is a sexual turn-on, that happens to some CDers. I am somewhat in that category. Fortunately, my SO now shares this 100%.

If it means that it is the only thing that provides you with excitement in life, then you need to find other things in your life that you can work on. I think one of the really dark sides of CDing can be that we devote too much time and energy to the detriment of our development in other areas. This can diminish our overall enjoyment of life. Balance is important.

Emma Chase
11-17-2008, 12:19 PM
Well here's my :2c:

You like to dress as a bloke on top and wear clothing that is regarded female below.

In today’s times more men are wearing pantyhose or as marketing companies now like to refer as 'leg wear' again to remove the stigma that they are just for women (http://www.e-mancipate.net and http://www.comfilon.com) for example and there are skirts that are made purely for guys too. (http://www.utilikilts.com and http://www.midasclothing.com/pages ) are just 2 examples.


Then there is the designers like jean Paul Gaultier who have ben designing skirts for guys and the fashion designer Bruno Loodts http://www.brunoloodts.be/index.php?GlobalLang=2

I think we should just express ourselves for who we want to be, if you go back far enough in history it was the guy who wore the hose.

Again in regard to your make-up comment. I grew up in the 80's guys wore mascara then without judgment in the UK at least. Nail polish on guys is also not so unusal these days. Guys like Mystery from the Mystery Method say using these type of tools helps a guy 'peacock' when he is out so a girl might comment on his fashion or acessories so a conversation can start up.

Why do we get so caught up on being so stereotypical? Its clothing that is designed to be worn regardless of the sex... a great example is this guy who lives for fashion and hates the limited selection that is available for men these days so he does the 'mix' wardrobe.

His flicker page is http://www.flickr.com/photos/tornadicus989/

I applaud this guy for helping get men a better selection of clothing that can be fashionable and tasteful and at the same time pushing the boundaries of the fashion that we feel should be put into 2 categories either male or female.

I know the forum is more focused on fully cross dressing to look like a woman but I do wonder if skirts etc were not frowned upon as 'female' attire how many of us might just be brave enough to wear it without maybe feeling they have to fully dress? I'm not saying that is the case of everyone and PLEASE do not all comment saying I like to dress to look female ... I do also understand that element of CDing so no need to get all revved up. Thanks.

I guess what I’m trying to get at in a really long winded way is BE YOURSELF why try and put your self into a category? You are who you are you. Dress how you wish to express your style and fashion and I thank you for helping to push the idea that clothing can be unisex.

I wish I had the confidence to be able to be in DRAB in a skirt even though I still like to dress fully enfem as well :heehee:


e

Rachel B
11-17-2008, 04:23 PM
Hi all, thanks for all your comments......It's appreciated, more than you'll ever know......

Emma Chase, I had to do a double take when I saw your avatar, I thought it was me???? We have the same taste, I have a similar skirt and boots and top as you're wearing in that pic and it is one of my fav looks. :hugs:

I was interested in reading Marina Twelve's post as it got me thinking. I have always liked legs, heels, tights/stockings, and skirts on a girl. It is always the first thing that catches my eye. I look down before looking up. My GF doesnt like wearing skirts (dont know why as she has really nice legs) but looking back none of my previous GF's wore skirts either. Dunno if this has anything to do with it???:idontknow:

When I was younger I needed to have my shoes specially made for me due to having (in the words of the shoemaker) "Womens Legs and Feet!" I also have dainty hands, exact copies of my mums, slender and thin. Not very manly at all. In fact I find wearing heels more comfortable than any other type of shoe.

Now I'm not one for hooting my own horn but I do look at myself when I'm dressed in heels and tights and skirt etc and I do have pretty nice legs. In fact I would bet most people wouldnt know I was a guy if they saw a pic of me from the waist down.:cute: As long as they didnt look up, I think the beard would give it away :heehee:

trannie T
11-17-2008, 04:56 PM
Each one of us is unique. Each one of us has distinct needs and desires. 'One size fits all' fits almost no one and 'one defination applies to all' does not apply to crossdressers.

What are you? You are Rachel B, and you bring your own individual style to this forum. Be happy just being yourself.

Carly D.
11-20-2008, 02:26 PM
I too can understand the "lower half only" approach to dressing. For a long time that was all I did. However, much of the attraction for me is to do with the feel of the clothes and when I wanted to feel what it was like to wear a dress I realised that it wouldn't be right without a bra, so I soon learned that wearing a bra added to the overall sensation.
There's also a practical aspect: usually I have only a short time to dress and then get back into male mode. Undressing completely in order to put on a bra as well as the "lower" items takes twice as long - so I sometimes still go no further than lower-half dressing. I am not able to go out dressed (not outwardly, anyway) so that and lack of time means I don't bother with make-up or hair. If I don't look at my head and shoulders in the mirror, those things don't matter.

For me.. the start point was pantyhose and heels so that is where I feel I have to dress to capture "that" feeling.. there are those who will say makeup is the "it" thing, their minimum to achieve that feeling.. for me it has always been frm the waist down, and truth be told you can fool yourself into thinking that your shirt is a "top" or "blouse".. whatever.. works..

Trinni
11-20-2008, 04:06 PM
There are many things in life that you may have to worry about, food, shelter, and taking care of those you love. Don't break a sweat about how far to go when it comes of dressing up. Enjoy every minute and just go with the flow. If you feel like taking it further than do it. If not, don't. If your unsure, wait until you feel ready to try. Be yourself and don't try to find answers on what you are. Deep inside you know who you are.:cheers:

pamela_michelle
11-20-2008, 06:24 PM
My crossdressing started when I was around 13. I noticed that I am mostly interested in woman shoes and painting my toenails. I like pantyhouse and undergarments. I like the way it feels on me. Recently, I got the nerve to dress up in a dress, heels, wig and make-up for Halloween. I went so far as to shave my entire body. I even went out in the neighborhood. It was a great feeling to sort of come out. My wife has sort of knew before we were married. She knew about me and the toenail polish. Right now my wife is very uncomfortable when she sees me as a woman or even when I am joking around or mention it. She says she will not go with me to any meetings for CDs. I do not want to upset her or the family (I have 4 kids - 3 boys and 1 daughter). I just seem stuck on how to express my feminine side and to find the support I need. I am glad I found this website.

Marjory
11-20-2008, 06:36 PM
You sound like many of us here. I like flats, tights, slacks or skirts, etc. My ex wife liked me to dress for sex until she decided she didn't and became the ex.

Nicki B
11-20-2008, 07:04 PM
I certainly started like this - because I didn't think for a minute that I was capable of anything else?


What I have found myself thinking about a lot recently is how much I enjoy dressing in skirts and heels and panties etc but keeping the top half of me as a bloke.

All clothing sends signals, doesn't it? So, what are the signals that you are looking for, from what you wear? :)