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susancheerleader
11-16-2008, 09:13 PM
My dressing started with Leotards. And then, obviously Cheerleader uniforms.

I've since moved beyond that. I've found myself buying more and more articles of clothing. From skirts, to jeans, to sweaters and more.

I found something lately that seemed to take the wind out of my sails, so to speak.

I read something, that my desire to dress was more a fetish then the desire to be feminine.

I wish I could find that article, but it seemed to take my desire to a low. :(

Susantgrl
11-16-2008, 09:20 PM
It's all what you think of it as, not what others think.

Amanduhrob
11-16-2008, 10:40 PM
Do you wear make up, or nails? What about a wig? If it were just clothes I'd say it may have been a fetish, but based on the variety of clothing you mentioned, I doubt it.

Samantha43
11-16-2008, 10:50 PM
I'm sure it's a fetish for some, but for most it is a need we have. It's not related to a sexual turn on like a fetish is.

MarinaTwelve200
11-16-2008, 11:06 PM
Crossdressing is a SYMPTOM of SEVERAL DIFFERENT conditions.

Yes, It can be a Fetish for some people. For other people it is done for "escapisim"---to "escape from one's identity, to take a vacation from one's self for a time.(said to be relaxing and removes stress) for others it triggers a ""rush" or "High" which may or may not be sexual in nature.

For others, it is a variant of humiliation SM behaviour, and for others to express a female "inner self" or side. And CD is also seen in conjunction with trannsexuality.

Crossdressing as a fetish was an early psychological theory of non homosexual Crossdressing, when CD itself was thought of as a "condition" in itself, rather than ONLY a SYMPTOM common in several different psychological conditions, not related to each other, as is the case today.

ElaineB
11-16-2008, 11:21 PM
I read something, that my desire to dress was more a fetish then the desire to be feminine.

That sounds like too much of a blanket statement to be true.

You will have to decide for yourself if it is a fetish or not. It might seem like a mystery but I do not think it really is. Just ask yourself honestly ... are you turned on by the sight or feel of women's clothes? Some kind of clothing in particular? Nylon? Silk? Rubber? For many the answer is yes, for many others the answer is no. Only you *know* the answer.

Oh and by the way and in case we all forget ... fetishes are *very* common and almost always they are complex with no clear origin.

Leohose
11-16-2008, 11:24 PM
If it feels good and doesnt hurt anyone else, then enjoy

docrobbysherry
11-17-2008, 01:03 AM
I found something lately that seemed to take the wind out of my sails, so to speak.
I read something, that my desire to dress was more a fetish then the desire to be feminine.
I wish I could find that article, but it seemed to take my desire to a low. :(

I'm definitely an "escapist, fetish" dresser. I'm not very proud of it, and have said so in numerous posts. I have often received posts and PMs from others here, saying they r, too.

And they mostly say what others said in their posts here. " You're not hurting anyone. You're not doing anything illegal or shameful. You're enjoying yourself, expressing yourself, and r a happier person because u CD."

And I think they r rite!:)

Ballerina
11-17-2008, 01:33 AM
Well, there's also the notion that I feel; I feel that CDing can start out as a fetish, and blossom into the feminine self that many of the older CDers are.

Vicky_Scot
11-17-2008, 07:23 AM
Why do you feel you have to justify your dressing.

It is society who feel and remember we are part of that society so we are part of the problem, who need to have everything labelled and pigeon holed.

Why can people just be who they want to be without having to justify it to people.

There are things that people do that I find hard to understand, swinging, bondage, S&M etc (here we go again using labels) that personally I would not do but I have no right to judge them as I do not think people have the right to judge me for what I do.

As long as you are doing something that is not illegal and everything thing is consensual between two adults then enjoy what you do and don't let anyone tell you it is wrong.

Xx Vicky xX

erickka
11-17-2008, 07:35 AM
If it feels right, makes you feel good, gives you that warm fuzzy feeling, than ,since it is not illegal or hurting anyone, IMO there is no doubt that it's O.K. to be yourself.

Karren H
11-17-2008, 07:46 AM
Sounds more like you have a shopping fetish!!! I don't know if I'm more adicted to shopping for womens clothing or wearing them!! But since I started at age 7... I couldn't even spell fetish...

Your doesn't sound like a fetish to me... Now wearing a cheerleader uniform and being tied up???

Sarah Martin
11-17-2008, 07:55 AM
Susan,

Frankly, it doesn't matter. If you enjoy doing what you do then keep doing it. There are plenty of articles on the internet or in magazines that are 'ill-informed' or unbalanced and that degrade people by marginalising their cross-dressing activites.

Be it a fetish, something you do for sexual relief, the escaping of a 'femme' side, transexuality or whatever (a) it's natural (b) it's commonplace (ye gods, look at the number of subscribers on this site alone (c) it's enjoyable, and you should always aim to fill your life with joy/pleasure.

So stuff the article that upset you...keep on dressing !

xxx
Sarah

Tasha McIntyre
11-17-2008, 08:14 AM
So what if it's just a fetish, you can call is what you like but at the end of the day you are not hurting anyone. Also, for every article that expresses an opinion, there are related articles with totally different opinions. Find your own reasons and level of dressing you are happy and comfortable with, and rejoice in how wonderful it feels. :daydreaming:

paulaluvssz8
11-17-2008, 10:08 AM
Susan, I find it a love for the feel of female clothing. I do love the sex with my wife when she lets me wear panties or something femme.

ElaineB
11-17-2008, 10:12 AM
According to the psychologists, a fetish is (to put it bluntly) something you need to get an orgasm.

Mmmm... my understanding is that a fetish is when you can be sexually aroused by an object, but does not by any means preclude normal sex. Being unable to "do it the normal way" (whatever normal is) is the textbook definition of a perversion.

Most of us here probably have some fetish even if it has nothing to do with CDing, but (I hope) most of us can still get it on the normal way without accessories.

The "don't worry about it" advice has a good point; this is not something that needs to be settled. However... many of us like to understand things and derive value from thinking about such labels, what may be behind them and whether it has any truth or application.

Michelia
11-17-2008, 10:42 AM
Sounds more like you have a shopping fetish!!! I don't know if I'm more adicted to shopping for womens clothing or wearing them!! But since I started at age 7... I couldn't even spell fetish...

Your doesn't sound like a fetish to me... Now wearing a cheerleader uniform and being tied up???


Fetishes at 7 years old?

But really, people crossdress for a million different reasons. There are lots of threads about this on this site. Lots of people dress for sexual reasons to some extent. Some do not. For many it is only a small part of why they dress. For others it plays a major role. There is nothing wrong with this. Women often dress sexy for their own reasons as well. I have heard from many women how they feel different in a skirt than in jeans. Some women feel very sexy in jeans.

I think articles like the one you are quoting only serve to encourage people to deny the real reasons why they dress or their real nature, which is worse.

susancheerleader
11-17-2008, 01:41 PM
Thanks everyone.

I'm not sure why that artical bothered me. I wasn't searching for an excusse as to why I like to dress, but after I read it, it took the fun out of dressing. But only for a short time.
I am who I am. :love:

sterling12
11-17-2008, 06:08 PM
Mmmm... my understanding is that a fetish is when you can be sexually aroused by an object, but does not by any means preclude normal sex. Being unable to "do it the normal way" (whatever normal is) is the textbook definition of a perversion.

Most of us here probably have some fetish even if it has nothing to do with CDing, but (I hope) most of us can still get it on the normal way without accessories.

The "don't worry about it" advice has a good point; this is not something that needs to be settled. However... many of us like to understand things and derive value from thinking about such labels, what may be behind them and whether it has any truth or application.

Elaine points out something that is the "classic" definition of fetish. If you have to be dressed to have sex.....it's a fetish! At least that is what Freud and his peer group would have said in the past.

There is a new theory and we may have read the same one. Some Professor decided to expound his view that unless you exhibit "girlish tendencies" from a very early age, (like birth to age 6,) you are not a "true" Transgenderist. If you started wearing Girl's Clothes at around puberty and they were used for "sexual pleasure," then you are labeled a fetish crossdresser. Unfortunately, a lot of people who should know better have picked up on his ideas and now use this as a rationale for "treatment" of what they believe is a learned neurotic behavior.

Of course, like a lot of things that are published by "learned scholars," they are probably B.S. and will eventually get consigned to "The Closet of Outmoded Ideas." Every time someone tries to "label" us, it never quite works. What might apply to one person doesn't work for another. Human's are complex!

The next time you read one of these Scholarly Books, written by a self-proclaimed expert; try to remember a little poem that I learned in College, so applicable to that scene in Academe', then and now.

It went: "Baa Baa Black Sheep have you any Bull?"
"Yes Sir, yes Sir, three books full."
"One is for my fortune, one is for my fame, one to win me tenure in The Academic Game!"

Peace and Love, Joanie

jessielee
11-17-2008, 08:10 PM
dear Susan,
while i love to shop and to dress, it is never and has never been for me a turn on.
rather, dressing unifies my inner perception of self to outward appearance. when i see my made up eyes in the mirror, feel hair on my shoulders, feel my calves and legs respond to the feel of heels and stockings, i feel whole, complete, and not particularly stimulated sexually.
i feel i appear the way i do in my dreaming consciousness, when i see myself in a mirror in a dreamscape.
against all i have believed and accepted all my life, it feels natural, like coming home.
jessie

susancheerleader
11-17-2008, 08:21 PM
dear Susan,
while i love to shop and to dress, it is never and has never been for me a turn on.
rather, dressing unifies my inner perception of self to outward appearance. when i see my made up eyes in the mirror, feel hair on my shoulders, feel my calves and legs respond to the feel of heels and stockings, i feel whole, complete, and not particularly stimulated sexually.
i feel i appear the way i do in my dreaming consciousness, when i see myself in a mirror in a dreamscape.jessie

Bingo!

That's how I feel when I dress.

Carly D.
11-17-2008, 08:30 PM
Fetish is as fetish does.. I'm not sure what that means exactly.. but I will say this.. in my existance starting from when I first fell overboard dressing till now I've gone through phases of dress such as the start when I was happy wearing pantyhose and that was the first step, which could be fetish because I was fine wearing pantyhose only and the occasional pair of shoes.. then about fifteen years ago I fell in the deep end and bought many of everything, and the fetish turned into full blown cross dressing.. now I am more often wearing the clothes where I started.. not the same exact clothes (those are decomposing somewhere I'm sure)... but the idea of where it all started for me.. fetish?? ok, I'll wear that..

Marjory
11-17-2008, 10:07 PM
I have a fetish for mary janes and a love of al other women's clothing. Call it what you will, I still enjoy the hell out of it.

Cissy Chiana
12-24-2008, 08:25 AM
I don't see wearing everyday clothes as a fetish, maybe a speciality item like a sissy dress could be considered a fetish

ReneeT
12-24-2008, 08:53 AM
Helen Boyd does an excellent job of reviewing the spectrum of "transgender" in "My Husband Betty". I am about half way thru it and find it very enlightening. My wife and I are having a tough time right now because of Renee, and I am going to give it to her when i am finished. I have done a lot of underlining and note-making.

JoAnne Wheeler
12-24-2008, 12:49 PM
Ocassionally, I do a fetish thing - last time I dressed was as a blond hooker with an extremely short leather skirt. My spouse said I looked and acted like a blond "floozy". I took it as a compliment even though I know that she did not mean it as a compliment. I always thought about the cheerleader outfits. Now, I try to wear very tasteful outfits for my age women or 10 years younger.
Love,
JoAnne Wheeler

DameErrant
12-24-2008, 12:59 PM
I'm definitely an "escapist, fetish" dresser. I'm not very proud of it, and have said so in numerous posts. I have often received posts and PMs from others here, saying they r, too.

And they mostly say what others said in their posts here. " You're not hurting anyone. You're not doing anything illegal or shameful. You're enjoying yourself, expressing yourself, and r a happier person because u CD."

And I think they r rite!:)

What's wrong with being an escapist CD? It's a perfectly valid reason. It's one of my reasons for CDing. Only one of many, but it's a part of it. It's only a pleasant side effect, like the icing on a cake, but it's part of my experience. I love expressing my feminine side, love dressing in lace, soft fabric, wig, makeup, heels etc. I love the feel of skirts swirling around my legs while they are covered in hose. It puts me in touch with my "shadow self" the parts of my personality that I cannot connect with any other way. It does so many good things for me, and yes, it allows me to escape all the stress of my "real" world. And it's all good.

Prof Tolkein once asked his friend C.S. Lewis, "Who are the people most obcessed with supressing all thoughts of escape?" And he answered his own question, "Our Jailers, of course."

Sometimes those who want to bind us into conformity con us into holding the keys to our own chains! Why be ashamed of such a delightful coping mechanism? Has someone tried to make you feel inferior since you are "only" an escapist CD? Forget about that, be happy in yourself, and enjoy. And post more pictures. Please?

Nicki B
12-24-2008, 01:08 PM
The whole 'fetish' thing is a bit of a red herring, IMHO?

The concept is so often used to belittle people ('just' a fetish?), not accept or cherish them? We are all, to some extent or other, sexual beings?

Calling things fetishistic just detracts from that, unless the fetish actually does prevent you feeling sexual - that's the only time it may possibly be necessary to involve anyone else. But even then, if you're happy and hurting no one, why should it be their business? :strugglin

docrobbysherry
12-24-2008, 01:32 PM
As I get further along the CD time line, I've had other thots.

Ive always thot that I'm a fetish CD, because I'm NOT AWARE of having any fem side. After thinking about this for a long time, I've had a revelation!

What if dressing has to do with my subconscious seeking contact with the "fem side" of myself? Just because I'm not aware of one, doesn't mean I don't have one, does it? If I don't consciously have a fem side, I may have one anyway! Doesn't that sound reasonable? :brolleyes:

Maybe many of us r like that. Dressing is a way for us to reach for a fem side we don't know, but wish to!:eek:

Or, maybe I should be drinking more, and thinking less!!??

charlie
12-24-2008, 01:40 PM
I guess I have to go with Karen H. Picking the clothes and outfits that I will wear is almost as much fun as wearing them! Fetish or no, I cannot stop. I do have to have the rule though, that I get rid of some clothes every time that I buy new ones.

Nicki B
12-24-2008, 01:47 PM
What if dressing has to do with my subconscious seeking contact with the "fem side" of myself? Just because I'm not aware of one, doesn't mean I don't have one, does it? If I don't consciously have a fem side, I may have one anyway! Doesn't that sound reasonable?

:roflmao:

Doc, we didn't want to tell you, but it's pretty obvious to most of us.. :heehee:

MsSamanthaErica
12-24-2008, 03:23 PM
I consider stuff like being enthralled with leather (no offense, I love leather stuff, just first thing that came to mind), hair cutting, feet, breasts (OK, I love mine LOL) etc. as fetishes because they are associated with getting to an orgasm faster.

Whereas for me, dressing up as Sam is a thrill to my soul. I love to pick out clothes, get dressed and relax all day if I can. Sam knows her time out-of-doors is limited. :)

So, no, I don't consider it a fetish to me. It's a way of life and it's something that excites me deeper than a quick fetish would.

~Samantha

Maria_1969
12-24-2008, 05:04 PM
For me its a fetish since I like the clothing but I do not try and be female or feel female. Others have a true need to be more in tune with their feminine side and to me, that is not a fetish. However, no matter what your own need is, as long as you are happy and not hurting others just enjoy it and who cares what others think.

Angie G
12-24-2008, 09:18 PM
Why do some of us listen to people that don't have a clue. No one really knows why we dress any more thet we do. If my dressing is a fetish is one long lastingfetish hun. Just put your skirt and heels on and enjoy being a girl.:hugs:
Angie

Carin
12-25-2008, 05:24 AM
I read something, that my desire to dress was more a fetish then the desire to be feminine.

Unles the writer was your therapist, they do not speak for you.

I dress like I dress because of my desire to be me, to know myself, to feel whole.

immike
12-25-2008, 05:35 AM
Ocassionally, I do a fetish thing - last time I dressed was as a blond hooker with an extremely short leather skirt. My spouse said I looked and acted like a blond "floozy". I took it as a compliment even though I know that she did not mean it as a compliment. I always thought about the cheerleader outfits. Now, I try to wear very tasteful outfits for my age women or 10 years younger.
Love,
JoAnne Wheeler
Joanne-I love to wear cheerleader outfits-I'm now hunting for a Dallas Cowboys
Cheerleaders uniform,not a real one,but maybe a stripper costume-the actual blouse,
vest&shorts.I have suntan pantyhose&white boots already

Toni_Lynn
12-25-2008, 09:45 AM
Initially on my CDing history there was no sexual aspect to it at all. It was all so clean and innocent. Then when hormones and puberty hit, it did become sexualised, but then at that ages a boy need only walk through the produce department at a grocery store, spy the peaches or watermelons and get a charge.

Then in my 20s, it became less so. The sexual aspect became secondary to dressing up. Just as a woman wears a sexy nightie or garter belt to turn on her lover, and in turn feels sexy herself, it became like that for me. Nothing necessarily fetishistic.

If anything, I'd say my my thing about gender-play, and women in men's underwear is fetishistic, cause it does turn me on.

Huggles

Toni-Lynn

Jonianne
12-25-2008, 11:43 AM
If crossdressing is one of the ways that help you identify with females or your femininity, then crossdressing is more than just a fetish.

jessielee
12-27-2008, 12:04 PM
when i received private feedback on my take earlier here, i tingled with such a warm satisfying feeling that i felt i should share a reflection: there are levels of affection, affinity and love transcending sexual attraction and release which i feel the average gg is more attuned to than many gms. i feel we, in many ways, being stuck between worlds, often may desire this deeper level too, without dismissing Eros at all.
are we not aspirants, to be more than we are or appear? isn't humanity at its best when any human wishes to transcend? observing "from the outside looking in," it was easy for me as a youth to envy birth females for having what seemed to me a greater capacity to feel, to experience, to be. but we all have strengths and weaknesses, despite our gender. perhaps, being between Venus and Mars, we desire not only to be more than men but perhaps more than than women, too. for real love is just one application.
i extract from William Faulkner, who, winning the Nobel Peace Prize for literature for 1949, spoke in Stockholm on 10 December, 1950

"...the young man or woman writing today has forgotten the problems of the human heart in conflict with itself which alone can make good writing because only that is worth writing about, worth the agony and the sweat.

He must learn them again. He must teach himself that the basest of all things is to be afraid; and, teaching himself that, forget it forever, leaving no room in his workshop for anything but the old verities and truths of the heart, the old universal truths lacking which any story is ephemeral and doomed - love and honor and pity and pride and compassion and sacrifice. Until he does so, he labors under a curse. He writes not of love but of lust, of defeats in which nobody loses anything of value, of victories without hope and, worst of all, without pity or compassion. His griefs grieve on no universal bones, leaving no scars. He writes not of the heart but of the glands....The poet's, the writer's, duty is to write about these things. It is his privilege to help man endure by lifting his heart..."

i am not glorifying femininity but human condition and potential and my flavour of choice is female. perhaps having been packaged in this way, though seen as an impediment all my life, the angst and searching derived from it impels us farther and higher. may we reach each other as well.
humbly, aspiring,

Elizebeth
12-27-2008, 12:12 PM
Does it matter if it is a fetish. I think I dress in some part for almost all reason given. It is part of me and it makes me happy and does not hurt anyone.

jessielee
12-27-2008, 06:54 PM
Does it matter if it is a fetish. I think I dress in some part for almost all reason given. It is part of me and it makes me happy and does not hurt anyone.
like Elizebeth said. and Jonianne before her. i talk too much.
am reminded of the Peanuts strip in which Linus and Charlie Brown are looking at clouds where Linus said he saw a crowd stoning Stephen with Saul standing to one side watching the coats and he asked Charlie what he saw and he said he was about to say he saw a duckie and a puppy but changed his mind.
please forgive my drabble.
but i mean it all.

nylonlove
12-27-2008, 06:55 PM
To me my CD is a fetish i have no interest in a complete makeover. The silk, nylons stockings etc. just excite me so much, my heart beats so fast, and sexually it gives me so much pleasure, it feels so good. So who care's what it is or what you call it. Life is to short take what you are and enjoy yourself.