For in-the-Closet Married CD's or those with SO

[laura.lapinski]

For those of you who are married or have a SO, and you are still in the closet, for how many years have you been with your SO, and how many years have you been CD without your SO knowing?

Laura

[Secret Sis]

Been married for 9 years, we've been tgether a little over 10 years. I've been CDing since about age 10, (48 now) and I am about ready (although terrified) to tell my wife my secret.

[VERONICARH]

Been married for 34 years, may SO does not know. Still in closet, been very difficult to keep this secret. Been crossdressing since I been 12.

[Joanne7098]

was with my ex for 15 yrs more or less, it was a small problem for her, that she did learn to live with, but when we divorced she tried to use it against me, she said it was her lawyers idea. It hadn't been a real problem with her until court, and then u thought i was charles manson or something. So now I haven't told my SO in fear of reprisal

[Tasha McIntyre]

I've been with my wife for 10 years. She has known I had a "thing" for crossdressing from very early on, but it was only recently that I fessed up completely.

She took it reasonably well, now Tash has her own time and space as long as the neighbours aren't alerted. :)

[Sarah...]

Together for eighteen years. She was aware of my CDing since 16 years ago. And aware of my long held (30 years) but fiercely self-denied TG feelings for the last 6 months.

Sarah...

[jane7]

my girlfriend and i have been together for 13 years, and i am in the closet but i told here about jane 2 years ago

[BeckyAnderson]

I'm married 38 years and for the first 33 I was in the closet. She's known for the last 5 years.....I'm still in the closet as far as family and friends.

[BuffyCD]

Ive been with my girlfriend for almost 3 years, and she recently found out about the dressing about 6 months ago....It has been awesome ever since! Surprisingly!

[AKAMichelle]

Started Crossdressing at age 5. I am 48 now. During those years I buried it deep and never wanted to admit what it was.

I kept the secret from my wife for 24 years before I finally told her.

[lynnmcarthur]

I have been narried for 38 years and she has known uncomfortably for 33

[randi_789]

I have been married thirty eight years and have been dressing in one form or another for more than fifty. My wife does not know, though I did bring it up about thirty years ago and she made me promise to not do it anymore. I did, but we all know I was lying.

[Mary L]

Married 39. Wife has known for about 6 and wishes she didn't. But then, I didn't know my behavior (which, at the time, was panties and slips only) was even considered crossdressing until about 15 yrs ago when I found a web sites like this. I only dress when she is out of town. Too bad for me. But then, I didn't know my behavior (which, at the time, was panties and slips only) was even considered crossdressing until about 15 yrs ago when I found a web sites like this.

[jennylogan]

I've been married for 23 years. I came out to her 3 years ago but other than my therapist , I'm still firmly in the closet. Fortunately she is totally accepting and is okay with this as long as I am discrete and honest with her about my femme purchases.

[stefi]

Laura , Been married coming up this december for 40 years ,been doing this a long time im 62 wife probably known for the last 20 years . Still in the closet ,i guess wife just goes along with it just not to cause any waves i guess. Dress up every day in panties ,bra ,nylons ,girdles makeup go out everyday with male clothes over this stuff.Sunday is dress up day, all day ,the works dress or skirt ,shoes ,boots or whatever strikes my fancy .Family members dont know. Stefi:daydreaming:

[Pernille Tiratzo]

I have been with my girl for 10 years, she has given me love, respect and 3 children. Pluss a hundred other thing I cannot remember at the time. I told her after 3 months. She had a hard time but now she is an understanding woman that accepts me the way I am. I love her more than I can find words for.

[jessielee]

dear Laura,
when i began posting here last February, i introduced that it had been only the summer before i had tried dressing.
upon reflection; while its true i felt i was female all my life and did nothing about it except to wrestle and feel and internalize, 2 years before i met my wife-to-be i did enjoy greatly wearing left-behind-in-the sofa panties, and, two summers ago or 15 years after marrying, after considering who i felt i was, in error, and resigning myself to a life of compromise, i first wore a dress. but it was only last year that i confronted and embraced my emerging butterfly self, though it means secrecy and skulking. i finally approve of myself.
hope this helps,
jessie

[Brenda's Friend]

I've been married over 20 years. I told my wife early on. She didn't like it, made me quit. As you all know, it has never gone away. In the intervening 20 years, I have tried on stuff. About 2 1/2 years ago acquired some makeup, purged. Then 1 1/2 years ago got my own makeup, panties, nylons, bras, a dress, a skirt, 2 blouses, a nice wig and 2 pair of heels. Needless to say, she does not know that it has came back with a vengeance!

BF

[Jennifer Brooks]

Been together 13 years and married for 4 years. She knows about my younger days of dressing and my so called thoughts of doing it again. What she does not know is that my so called thoughts are actual doings. I want to tell her so bad lately but from discussions this year she said she doesn't want to know about it.

[LisaLedoux]

Married 35 years, started in High School and have been dressing for 50 years now. Wife doesn't know but I wish she did. We have discussed other CDers that we have come across and I know that she would never accept my feminine self.

[Crystal Galadriel]

I've been with my SO for approaching 3 years, we're engaged now, I haven't told her yet. I first CDed when I was 12, on and off until I was 17, but then didn't do any for a couple of years once we started dating, so there wasn't really anything to tell her. It came back again, and I'm pretty sure that it's not going to actually go away, so I figure I really need to tell her, just haven't worked up the guts to do it yet. I think I'm getting close to understanding myself well enough to talk about it with her, hopefully she takes it well. I think I'll probably try to tell her during Christmas break when I'm home for a month, at that time we'll have been together just over 3 years. I'll be sure to let you all know how it goes :nailbiting:

[jackie_p]

Known my wife for almost 30 years, married for almost 26 years. Still in
the closet but I'm screwing up the courage to tell her about it. I've been
dressing since I was 8 years old, about 41 years in all.

Jackie

[Crissy Kay]

Been with my SO for 12 yrs. She has known for the last two years. She has been pretty cool with it. The trouble is, I still feel pretty silly dressed up frount of her. So I keep it to a minimum. A lot of times, I wait until she is away,or asleep, before dressing up!!!!!!

[Marjory]

I've been with my wife 12 years now, all in the closet. I told my first wife before we were married and she left after 7 years because of the CDing. Said she wanted a real man... all that good army experience for nothing.

[charlene_d]

Married 35 years, crossdressing off and on since about age 9.

More than 20 years ago we had a discussion about it in a long car ride but I have not brought it up since. For the most part I wasn't doing a lot of dressing while the kids where younger. I've always been afraid that the parents would go nuts if they knew their Cubmaster was a crossdresser (I'm sure I purgered myself when I signed up as a leader).

The last couple of months have been very educational with visits to many of the CD and TG websites. This board is incredible.

Charlene D.

[joann426]

have been married for 33 years i have told her about 10 years ago but now she just tolerates it for now but i can do itin the house and she dont say a thing to me i guess she likes her wo man:love:

[suchacutie]

married 35 years, and we discovered Tina together a bit over 3 years ago. Never dressed before that, but as we discuss it's clear that if I had been aware of the possibilities I might have. However, this way since we discovered it together, Tina has been a joint "project" and that makes it ever so sweeter!

tina

[Debutante]

I've been with my wife for 6 years, I told her near the beginning.
She is supportive to a large degree, has bought me clothes, is BI, and is a
therapist.

[TGMarla]

I've been married for 14 years, and my wife knows I crossdress. However, she isn't real thrilled with the notion, and I keep it out of sight from her, preferring to respect the fact that she doesn't want any part of it. So I'm in the closet, but I have a high heeled foot out the door, so to speak. I had managed to keep the secret for about five to seven years. I disclosed all to her in a lengthy letter shortly after joining this forum. She shredded the letter, and we really haven't spoken of it since. She's not mean to me about it, and has really come to more of an understanding that this isn't something I do just to be wierd and freaky, that it's something that comes from way back and from deep within. I think one of these days, she'll be much more comfortable about it, but until then, I respect her wishes, and keep it under wraps.

[o2bcindy]

I have been with my wife for 21yrs married 11 she has known since the first month we dated. she said she understud and she would be understanding about it.well that didnt work so well she grew tired of it quick and back then i only had panties and teddys and a bra i think. i did have the closet of my sisters and stepmom though she didnt know that. anyway she has grown to really dislike it but she knows i wear painties as soon as i get home. i belive it will be the reason she gives if we ever breakup

[MsDebrah]

I've been dressing for just over twenty years in total. I've been married for ten years. I had to hide my dressing from her, and it came up a couple times over time. She didn't want to know, and it was a silent agreement between us. Lately it's come up again, and she's actually into it! We even went bra shopping together last weekend. I really am lucky!

[Jessicainme]

I've been married four times and none of my SO's knew or does my current wife know now. Just when my SO's were out and I darn well knew that they would not be back soon did I or do I now dress. I've never gone as far as I would like in my dressing (fear of getting caught at home). Maybe some day I'll meet someone who will teach me.

Jessica in Maine

[wishfulcd]

I have been married twice, my first wife never found out, and I just recently "opened up" to my second wife (married for 10 years and going). However, I was also very succesful at repressing my need to CD in the past. The need to CD has been with me since my teens, but I was able to repress the urges very effectively. Now, I regret having done so, because it definetly made my life more stressful and I now understand why I could not achieve happiness and understand why nothing could make me happy (I spent too much time being bitter at something, somewhere or someone, without understanding why I was bitter).

[Sallee]

been married 26 years together 33+. Wife has been aware of it for at least 30 of those years probably more use to be active in it attended meetings and went out together but now would just as soon it wasn't there. But it is so she buts up with it.
I keep it low key for the most part and don't force it on her. I do get out just not as much as I would like. The cloths do hang in the closet with the wigs on the stand above the cloths

[sandyb40c]

Been married for 18 years. My wife doesn't know about my cding. I almost told her once, but just chickened out

[JenniferR771]

Been married about 30 years. I started when about age 12. Wife found out about 6 years ago. Does not approve at all. But I have gradually pushed her until she doesn't say much if I keep everything out of sight. She knows i get on this forum often, but insists I close it out if she walks into the room. Sigh. She threatens to throw out my dresses in my closet--but so far has not thrown anything away--just deleted a few of my femme photos.

[Joanne Curl]

I've been married for 12 years and she doesn'tknow. I was prepared to tell her before we married but then we found out she was pregnant with our child. I wish I'd told her but I couldn't risk it. My first wife found out after we'd been married for a couple of years and we went to counseling. We divorced many years later when she had an affair. I always wondered if the affair was my fault becasue she couldn't deal with my cross dressing.
Joanne

[StacyCD]

Crossdressed since age 4. Married for almost 32 years (to the same wonderful woman). Came out to her almost two years ago. She's not really supportive of me dressing but as long as I'm 'in the closet' she hasn't really objected.

[Michelle_NY]

In closet here a long time but the wife knows ( hates it too)

[Michelle_NY]

Married only 5 years too

[Alice B]

Been married to my wife for 17 years and we were together for two years before marriage. Did not start to dress until about 5 years ago. At first in closet, but three years ago I told her and we had open discussions. For the most part she is accepting, but not excited about it. Level of acceptance goes up and down, based upon her moods and stress levels not associated with dressing. I can dress at home, with her OK when she is at work or away at a meeting. If dressed when she is home she stays upstairs for the most part. Wear panties 7/24, nighties to bed and keep lags shaved. All of this is OK. She does not like my toe nails painted, but tolerates it, as long as it is removed before family pool parties or when we are on a trip. Hope for greater acceptance, but not pushing as hard as I once was. Keep dresses, etc. hanging in closet and have drawers set aside for shoes, bras, forms and wigs. She is OK with all of this.

[SusanMarie]

Married for 30 years. Openly dressing for about 5-6 years now. When I told my SO she didn't even flinch. I think she always knew, she was just waiting for me to be 'honest with myself.'
I am very fortunate, she it accepting, supportive and participates.

[cddenn]

married for 21 years have been crossdressing 35 years wife knows somtimes shes all for and other times she hates it

[LACD]

Janurary will be our 35th year of marriage. I have been out to my wife for about 3 years now. Like others I was self concious at first, but now it is great to have her input on clothes, lingere and shoes. I think my dressing has even brought us closer in some ways.

[AllyM]

We have been married for 30 years and she known since college. She knew I wore pantyhose or tights during the cold weather. I started shaving my legs long ago while riding alot. Now I just do it once in awhile and she knows I really like it. I started wearing a bra on a regular basis since developing breasts due to a hormone imbalance. She agreed with me not to do anything about it because of problems her mother had with taking hormones. She is fine it. I am not open to the public with it and she helps me keep the the bra and my chest private. She is dynamite!!!

Regarding the pantyhose and tights, just hang around some ski areas. There are more tights or pantyhose sticking out guys pants than you might think! This is truly a "Get over it!!!"

[Carol Richards]

I told my wife about two weeks after we started dating. It was the best move I ever made, been married 2 1/2 years. She supports me, she knows me in my heart. We share clothes and she helps me to pick out clothes. She knows iam all man and says she don't understand why I like to wear pantyhose and heels, etc.(because she don't like to). But she also knows that it is just clothing and that women wear mens clothes and it don't matter in todays society, but a man can't wear womens clothes and not be looked down upon. I am glad I told her sooner than later, she said she would have been hurt to find out later, like I had lied to her . It was one of the hardest things I have ever had to do in my life. I am so lucky to have such a supportive wife. She is the best!:)

[Jeannie]

I have been dressing for about 40 yrs and my wife now is good with it. She in fact helps me buy clothes. I have been out to her for about 20 yrs now. Wow it feels great. In fact to night she wanted me to dress in my Little Black Dress.


Jeannie

[Lori A]

When I met my current wife, (When my mother married her Grand father) we went to the laundry mat to dry come clothes as Pappy's house had been struck by lightening and fried the fuse box and his dryer didn't work. We took my clothes and theirs to give the newly weds some time to their selves. Wife and her daughter went with me, and when we were folding up the clothes, she kept putting my Vanity Fair Nylon hi-cut panties into my mothers pile. (Mom has known for a few years longer than my wife). I kept reaching over and putting them back in my pile. Later we were talking about why I had women's panties and I told her that I wore them. At that time that was all I wore. She had thought that I, as a truck driver had collected them from women I had "met" on the road. After we got more involved it was with her encouragement that I expanded my wardrobe to include half slips and camisoles, bras, cinchers, skirts, several pairs of shoes and boots, and the right make-up and nail polish pallet and has often French braided my hair when we were to be working outside. And last summer when we were working out in back on the chicken pin and it was so hot and we haven't found my cut offs since we moved to Tenn, she encouraged me to go out there to work in just a pair of boy short panties. Gawd did I like that. I wish I could have realized what a treasure I had and treated her better and been more faithful to her, because she is the best thing to ever happen to me.:love:

[Jennifer_Cross]

Iv'e been with my SO for a year, although I dabbled in CD'ing before, she is the one that has created me now... I consider myself very lucky and love her to bit's.

I also feel very sorry for all of you who have to keep it away from your SO's it must be ripping you apart inside.

I don't really understand why they fear it so much... It's not hurting anyone in a real sense and they are missing a more sensative side of us, if only they knew it!

[TeriAnn]

I have known my wife since 1992, we were married in 1999, and I told her of my passion in 2005. We have been married for almost ten years at the present time we are not together. Not due to crossdressing.

[VTDresser]

My wife found out by accident in 2003 and I haven't gotten over the shock of being known.

She is tolerant, knowing that the behavior isn't because of her and that it had been there long before we met (my admission to her).

We don't talk much about my dressing other than her sense that I don't want to be with her and that I am looking for something else.

It would have been easier on me if I could have stayed in the closet; I find that my anxiety level is higher now about dressing than it was before.

But she hasn't walked out on me and has told me that she understands some of the issues with dressing. I just have an unsettled feeling and wish that I hadn't been careless.

[Jess_cd32]

I've been w/ my SO almost half of my life, she kinda knows I cd as I dressed once early on after meeting her but it wasn't discussed back then. Then I surprised her again a few years ago which didn't go over all that well.

I'd love to tell her about it all but she's not an easy one to talk to sometimes about certain subjects. I've been dressing since early age off and on.

[jackieo]

I have been doing this since I was 5 years old so after 6 months of dating my wife I told her.
At first she did not believe me so one night she said lets see it!
So I put it all on and she was quite for about 5 min and said I know a better way of you waring your make up and hair!
2 Hour later new make up and hair re curled and the hole time showing me how to do it was great!
Its been 17 year with her and things could not be better But with her family and friend and my kids I'm still in the closet!!
Her sister know only because she walked in on me and then stayed and had coffee I asked if she wanted me to change but she said no us girl can talk for a wile.
She kept it a secret for the past 8 years and On accession she will call and ask if I'm dressed , dressed? And if so can she come over for coffee and some girl talk!LOL
She real talks to me like am one of the girls just like my wife dose and make me feel so conferable!
Jackieo

[JennieL]

Married 30 years to a woman who knew before but has never fully accepted - don't ask/don't tell is the best she can do. Still, we all have to make sacrifices for those we love

[María José]

I have been crossdressing since I was 12 years old. I have been married for 24 years now. I told my wife I crossdress three years ago. It was the best decision.

[RachelDenise]

I've been crossdressing since age 12, and will be married for 24 years this January. She found out 1 year into the marriage and has basically refused to discuss it on any level. I am in the closet, do get to dress infrequently, and feel that my life has been rejected by the one I love.

[keisha_k]

Married 18 years, only recently started dressing.