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View Full Version : Submissive or Dominant...that is the question



STILLETTO
11-18-2008, 10:13 AM
Hi Honies,
those girls who i've spoken to through the site will be aware of my submissive requests/requirements. Having a submissive nature means i am longing for the dominant partner in any relationship or encounter. But why? how does this work? I'm over 6' and 220lbs and want to be dominated by a smoking, leather and stillettoe heeled CD!!! Has any of you ideas of how this fetish requirement comes about....not that i'm complaining!!!

S
XXX

Samantha B L
11-18-2008, 10:31 AM
Hi There Stilletto, Sorry,I don't know what to tell you. Maybe some of the other members will have a few words of wisdom. Welcome to the forum,hun,it's a great place for all things CD. It's great to have you with us.

Sarah Martin
11-18-2008, 11:52 AM
It's a perfectly natural feeling.

Now pass me that cane and bend over.....

(only kidding!)

Best wishes,
Sarah

Jennifer James
11-18-2008, 12:46 PM
as far as if i'm submissive or dominant thats easy. When i'm in girl mode i'm totally submissive and love the sissy look and being controlled and owned by a Mistress (giggles). But even in male mode I let people walk all over me so maybe i'm submissive as a guy too who knows haah

MsJanessa
11-18-2008, 01:01 PM
Hi Honies,
those girls who i've spoken to through the site will be aware of my submissive requests/requirements. Having a submissive nature means i am longing for the dominant partner in any relationship or encounter. But why? how does this work? I'm over 6' and 220lbs and want to be dominated by a smoking, leather and stillettoe heeled CD!!! Has any of you ideas of how this fetish requirement comes about....not that i'm complaining!!!

S
XXX

Do you ever travel to the USA? Be sure to send Me an e-mail if you do. :dom:

CD Susan
11-18-2008, 01:15 PM
Hi Stilletto, sorry I can't help you but you should have no problem finding what you are looking for in your country. The bd/sm culture is part of crossdressing so maybe you will find someone on this site that you can meet up with. Good luck in your search.

avril findlay
11-18-2008, 01:34 PM
"To be or not to be That is the question"

Kali
11-18-2008, 01:54 PM
At one point I felt that I was submissive when in femme mode, but after much self-examination, attempts at being submissive, and discussions with my SO (who, at one point in her life, was a Pro Domme), I've come to the conclusion that when dressed I usually prefer to be a masochistic bottom; I don't do "submissive" very well.

And there are times when my more natural dominant mode comes out, even when dressed. But for me to enjoy being a masochistic bottom, cross-dressing is an integral part of the experience and what allows me to let go of my dominance, if only for a short time.

Your size and weight shouldn't be an issue in finding a dominant partner. I know a Mistress/slave couple where the male partner, who is submissive, is ~ 6'9" and 375, while the Mistress is ~ 5'3" and 110 lbs.

Trinni
11-18-2008, 02:17 PM
My SO does not know I dress but we are talking about sex and asked if I would like to be submissive or dominant. To see her reaction I told her a little of both and she replied, I'm surprised you said both. I figured you would want to be just submissive. I guess she knows me better than I thought. :heehee:

Miss Tessa
11-18-2008, 04:18 PM
I engage in bondage. I have alot of bondage equipment and fashion things.

I'm not sub or domme completely. I what is called a 'Switch' I like both depending on the partner(s) and my mood.

Shari
11-18-2008, 06:48 PM
Stiletto, I wouldn't worry about a thing.
I'm no flyweight myself, but my desires are right there with yours.
I'm very lucky in that my SO not only knows of my cding and supports it, but will also break out the bondage gear from time to time.
BTW, I'm always the helpless heroine.
Great, great stuff.

I wish for you that your fantasies someday might come true.
There's somebody out there waiting just for you.

docrobbysherry
11-18-2008, 08:52 PM
I'm online wearing the ballet boots I found at a thrift shop today. Can't walk, but I can type OK!

I've been into bondage for 30+ years. Way before CDing caught my fancy. I have no answers for u. U feel what u feel, and r turned on by what turns u on! Just find a Ying for your Yang, and have fun!:D

SuzyZahn
11-18-2008, 09:29 PM
Totally sub here ,,,when femme,,,

SexyLatexSamantha
11-18-2008, 09:32 PM
I am submissive. Dressed or not. I love to be dominated.

Bethany_Anne_Fae
11-19-2008, 12:26 AM
Its funny cause when I am in guy mode, totally dominant, and have been at it for many years now.

When en femme, I enjoy it when a male leads in the dance, or escorting my Fae character around the faire by the hand. Just feels all sorts of girly :)

*hugs*

Zara

jenalex
11-19-2008, 10:59 PM
I'm not sub or domme completely. I what is called a 'Switch' I like both depending on the partner(s) and my mood.

me too :happy:

mykhelee
11-19-2008, 11:53 PM
When I am in full femme it is much easier to be the bottom. If my companion wants to sub I can go that way as well, just not dressed.

KATIE TV
11-20-2008, 06:53 AM
Hi Honies,
those girls who i've spoken to through the site will be aware of my submissive requests/requirements. Having a submissive nature means i am longing for the dominant partner in any relationship or encounter. But why? how does this work? I'm over 6' and 220lbs and want to be dominated by a smoking, leather and stillettoe heeled CD!!! Has any of you ideas of how this fetish requirement comes about....not that i'm complaining!!!

S
XXX


Hi Stilletto, I can’t answer your question on how it comes about but I can tell you it’s NOT unusual. I earn my living by making such fantasies a reality, I run a dressing service with fantasy role play, CP. Bondage etc. I regularly have to strut around in 6” healed thigh boots, disciplining men much bigger than me, or be a strict Aunty/Head mistress etc. On the other hand I am required to dress as a School girl, Secretary, Traffic warden (very popular that one) etc. for them to discipline me, Some want to cross dress others don’t. A question I have often asked myself is “Why do they come to a TV. & not a real woman for this service” as most are “straight” and marred, come from all walks of life & aged from 20 to 80+. I am not touting for business but if you want to try it get out and do it, there must be someone in your area offering this kind of service. Best of luck and enjoy life, Katie, X

Jess_cd32
11-20-2008, 07:07 AM
Like cd-ing, enjoy the best of both:)

trisha11
11-20-2008, 08:00 AM
Girls,
I would say that I am generally submissive when dressed but not always, it just depends on the mood or the way I am dressed that drives that feeling. When I am guy mode I am both as well. But mostly I think I am submissive.....giggles
trisha

kaitlin
11-20-2008, 12:27 PM
Hey Girls, I and my wife are both "switches" we both enjoy being Top and Bottom! And change up often. Without it being TMI, there isn't much about the BDSM world we don't enjoy!!!!! (dressed or not, which is rare I'm not) As to why...not sure! But then why question such a wonderful gift! Kaitlin

TheGirlNextDoor
11-20-2008, 12:36 PM
I'm soo submissive when I'm dressed up. I mean what is the point, if you are going to take the time to look like a girl why would you be dominate. You can do that as a man, but I guess I can kinda see where being a dominate girl would be fun. Maybe with a really cute lesbian.

Crystal Galadriel
11-20-2008, 06:15 PM
I'm still closeted, including from my SO, but I have noticed that when I'm in more of a fem-mood, I do tend to be more submissive. That's not to say that I'd be into domination, it really sounds like something I wouldn't enjoy, but when my brain's in girl mode, I like to be able to lay back and "go with the flow" a little more, not have to control the whole situation. In guy mode, I actually like being in control of it, but again, don't think I'd like dominating.

This switch back and forth doesn't bother my SO, though she doesn't know that the more-submissive side of me is actually my girly side coming out. We've talked about the situation before, and she's fine with that little bit of "role-switching", so hopefully that's just one more sign that she'll take my CDing well when I finally tell her.

Nicki B
11-20-2008, 06:35 PM
those girls who i've spoken to through the site will be aware of my submissive requests/requirements.

Umm... Isn't that rather a contradiction in terms? :strugglin


I'm online wearing the ballet boots I found at a thrift shop today.

*jaw drops on floor*

Where do you live? :roflmao:

Anastacia_Sandria
11-20-2008, 10:09 PM
Funnily enough, when I'm in girl mode I'm actually -more- dominant than in male mode. Not that I'm submissive then, just not so much dominant. But as Anna....total, total domme.

Marjory
11-20-2008, 11:21 PM
I'm 5'7" and 170lbs, 66 years old and you would not want to mess with me in guy mode, I'm still a weight lifter and practice various martial arts; however when I'm femme I'm submissive or so the fantasy goes.

tanya1976
11-21-2008, 03:48 AM
I'm was quite happy being submissive when in female role until an ex girlfriend pointed out possible misogynistic overtones i.e. I hate anyone telling me what to do in my male role, but it's ok to dress me up as a woman and abuse me...I thought she was taking things a little seriously:) but I took the point on board. I could hazard a guess and say for alot of crossdressers the appeal lies in being able to express feelings of submissiveness not otherwise allowed by society. Although I do enjoy being submissive more when I am dressed this is more to do with a combination of factors, not simply being dressed as a female. Mainly I just ENJOY it!
I suppose it says something about proscribed gender roles in society in that that we associate submissiveness specifically with the female gender, while it is seen as a negative quality for males to have. I've noticed a lot of ggs fall into this trap too. I mean how many times do you hear the phrase, 'Be a man', thrown around? Hopefully as crossdressers we know better...Anyway I suppose it depends on the context, although in this case it seems to be sexual, I'm quite capable of being both dominant and submissive. As to which I prefer, like most things, it all depends on what mood I'm in.

STILLETTO
11-22-2008, 02:16 AM
Hi Nicki,

yeah i can see the slight contradiction but it wasnt intended....sorry honey. I live in the Lake District bye the way.


Hi Tanya,
Thanks for the specifics and i think you've hit the nail on the head.....I am a dominant male in all respects (without the shaven head and earings), but something switches when dressed! Yes it is probably a psychological issue in that their is no 'role' to play or indeed any subliminal pressure from my SO to be the 'man' when wearing heels and mini-dress (altho' she is not privvy to my CDing), perhaps a form of escapism and the freedom to break the expected mold and role we are pre-programmed to play.

thanks again


MsJanessa, i'll 'bare' that in mind....hmmmm. Will PM you OK?


Hi Kali,
yeah a real mix of issues....but you found what you enjoy and that is the point...thankyou


Hi Trinni,
I suppose the lesson here is to delve alittle deeper into our own relationships and find out exactly what our SO does see in us!...thank you


docrobbysherry I must look you up next time in Ca.


Hi Suzy,

great reply.................XXXX

Hi Katie,
yeah life is full of diversities and you appear to see more than most!!! I'd love to visit your chambers but i dont see it as role play, its how i feel when dressed. To create a format'scenario is not what turns me on, however should we meet and things naturally default into a particular scenario that would be special....does that make sense?

S
XXX

Nadia-Maria
11-22-2008, 05:17 AM
You want to know the reason?

It's not complicated. It runs something like this:

"What, me, enjoy sex? Oh, no, I'm innocent. He/she made me do it. I'm a poor little innocent lamb"

An extremely good point of yours, Katie ! Congratulations.
("Vous avez mis dans lé mille ... comme disait Jean-Jacques Rousseau"; revu par Pierre Dac) :)

And I am somewhat deceived your most insightful answer might have been overlooked in this thread.:sad:

Nicki B
11-22-2008, 08:01 AM
sorry honey.

I was teasing you..


I live in the Lake District bye the way.

That bit of my post was actually aimed at RS - they're not the sort of things one generally finds in charity shops? ;)

But Cumbria's a big place - if it's of interest, there is a group that meets regularly in the Steam Packet Pub, Stanley Street, Workington? They also meet sometimes in Carlisle I believe, but they don't seem to have any contact details posted, other than to talk to the two guys running the pub?

I believe they have a Christmas do coming up, but again there are no details.. :sad:

But for your particular interests, you probably need to go to Manchester? :)