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curse within
11-20-2008, 02:23 PM
Just a I see a glass half full of water others see it half empty, I joined this forum a few months back in search of support . I must say this forum is very supportive. It has tagged its self with the name "Crossdressers.com".. So within searching the net such as I did to locate it I was lured by the name and type of place being a " Message Board". The forum claims it is a discussion board that talks about all areas of male to female crossdressing.:eek:..

At a loss I have found it more of a supportive board towards the "Transgender and Transexual" than the typical male "Crossdresser"...
The only support I've found here was the constant persitance and mis understanding to why I choose to remain in the closet and fight the urge of crossdressing. It seems to offend most here why I fight these urges and most here do not understand that there are crossdresser who do not want to combine the two sexes into harmony, because there is no such thing!

FACT!!

"Typical male crossdresser is one who tends to wear female clothing under his own, has little or no desires to become or act out as female."

Some believe that because I have lived my crossdressing in the closet I have no idea what I am talking about , I have news for those who think that . Just because I am not open to the world and live in a Trangender community dosent mean I am the minority when in fact I am the majority. That meaning more crossdresser perfer to live thier lives just as I do in the closet!

Mis understanding

When in combining all crossdressers in as whole we are misunderstood seperating us into our own catagory would provide a better understanding of each idenity crisses for those seeking help..(support).

So those who are married, get un supportive wifes who fear the extent or how far thier husband is going to take his desire to cross dress. In every right they should have fear in them if all crossdressing is combined as a whole.

Examples

Transgender: Self proclaimed sexualy perferred straight crossdresser who live or acts out his female desires. May dress in full femme often or little. Idenitifies himself to be attracted to a female partner as a female. Is that considered being "Gay"? No due to his true genetic sex he is a male however truely thinking ones identity as female would consider himself as a lesbian term used for the act of being gay for the genetic females. Not saying all transgender males are straight or gay, that is a different life style completely.

Transexual: For a male, one who was born a genetic male that perfers to live his a life as a female. Transexuals tend to be the extreme in Crosdressing . Transexuals are known to take female homornes to gain breast growth and voice change to be more fem.

Alot of differances as you can see when you break crossdressing down into these examples. By the way these are not things I made up and came from expert opinions about crossdressing.

Trinni
11-20-2008, 03:55 PM
I am one of the people on this board that has no intention of coming out. One of my favorite part of dressing is that it is just for me. I have noticed a lot of people encourage other to come out or to go out into public. I think a lot of those people, had one time received a nudge themselves and are happier for it.

I also think a lot of people who start threads and post are people who have come out so they are more willing to post, or even willing to come to this site.

I'm guessing a lot of people here have no intention of coming out but might not say it. If that is the case that is a shame because I don't care if you dress 24/7 or once a year, if you are here for support you should get it.

In every fashion of life their are different levels of the amount people do things. I hope we all feel that way and are not looking down on others if they are not doing things just like you are.

For some, coming out is a dream, others it is a reality, and others, it is not even a thought. No matter how far you want to go with dressing, We all have one thing in common, we CD. Be happy with your level of CDing and respect those who do it at a different level.

Sarah Martin
11-20-2008, 04:00 PM
If you want to fight the urge to crossdress and stay in the closet then good for you. If we can, we'll all offer help and advice.

You have to recognise, however, that this site is about the positive aspects of crossdressing and transgender. Your situation is an uncommon one for this site. Almost all of the girls here are - to a greater or lesser extent - reconciled with the desire to crossdress and see it as a positive and rewarding thing to do. Few are trying to stop crossdressing or deny this aspect of their personalities.

It unfair of you to say we are unsupportive just because there are few contemporaries in a similar situation (wishing to stop crossdressing) and who could offer you advice based on their life experiences.

We are happy to support you - but please do not castigate us because we want to continue crossdressing and to promote it in a positive fashion. There must be ‘anti-crossdressing’ sites that could offer you more focussed advice better suited to your needs.

If it is what you wish, then I hope you find the means to lock your desires behind a locked “mental door” and banish them from your life.

I still think you are missing out, though....

xxx
Sarah

curse within
11-20-2008, 04:13 PM
Sarah,

I thought I made it clear this place was supportive, I would never suggest that anyone here on this board was wrong in dressing.

I threaded this to clear up some misunderstanding is all. No not to argue not to debate ,I'm not going there anymore. If you read the board it says open to all areas of male to female crossdressing. So when I do post such threads as these the arguing and debate seems to come from people who have a positive out look on thier desires to dress ..

Mis understanding my post as some like I keep saying need to step out of thier boxes and relize thier are different levels to crossdressing and all should be respected but not combined.

Trinni
11-20-2008, 04:14 PM
Sarah, I might be wrong but what I got from the thread was curse within does not want to stop dressing, curse within just want to stay in the closet and has no desire to come out. I feel the same way about my level of dressing and have also seen a lot of people try to give a little push towards going into public. I don't take it personally when people do give a nudge because a lot of people here are looking for that nudge to go further. That is just my take on what curse meant by this thread.

StephanieT
11-20-2008, 04:19 PM
I am some place between the CD and Transgendered in your definitions. I will however stay in the closet with my family. I am just not ready to risk losing my family for my dressing. I also get a lot of you have to come out to your wife and family and not too much support for staying in the closet except for those who are in the closet. I feel that everyone is entitled to their opinion and I will listen to their views but make my own decisions.
:hugs:
Steph

Deborah Jane
11-20-2008, 04:23 PM
When i first came here i was very unaccepting of my crossdressing and i think in some ways i was looking for a cure.

I read the posts and discovered that a lot of people here had been in the same situation as myself at some point in their lives. I learned that being at one with myself would make my life easier and more fulfilling, whereas before i had been fighting a constant battle within myself. I grew to accept both facets of my personality and slowly became a happier and much better person because of it.

Going out isn,t important to me really, but if i do decide to, it will be because i want to, not because i was pushed into it by people here.

curse within
11-20-2008, 04:43 PM
Deborah,

I have the upmost respect for you and how you have combined yourself to become whole. Going out is great I'll be the first to admit it takes courage theres a big thrill involved and a sence of freedom by being who you want to be.

I have never seen any one person trying to talk anyone into going out against thier wishes on this board, unless it was brought up as to something they wanted to try or have dreamed in doing. I hope you understand what this thread is about sometimes in support we need to offer advise but in doing so cater to the level of ones desire in dressing . So in saying you want to go out dressed I say go for it! because you are confident in where you want to be. For someone who isn't and does such an act has to know what they will be faceing there is no turning back to the security of your closet as it was before if caught.

Support comes from lifestyle a negitive go ahead is not a stab at someone here who has a positive one but places the person into different senerios .

StephanieT
11-20-2008, 04:43 PM
Going out isn,t important to me really,

That is where I was until recently. Previously I had a moustache, had no desire to get out and was very happy as I was. Over time, I got the urge to take it further. I shaved the stash, bought a wig and forms and got out. It is all a matter of your personal choice and what makes you happy. I will be supportive of all who choose not to go out because I have been there, Done that.

Trinni
11-20-2008, 04:48 PM
Cursed within,

I have to admit the way you wrote your thread is a bit confusing as to exactly what your point is. Sorry if I am offending you by saying that but putting ones thoughts on paper don't always translate the way we think of them when we write it down. I should know, I have posted here over 200 times and close to a thousand time on another board (completely unrelated) and with all of those post almost nobody has commented on what I have said unless I have started the thread. I don't take it personally because my thoughts are taken differently from what I mean and that is with reading it before I post it.

curse within
11-20-2008, 04:53 PM
Cursed within,

I have to admit the way you wrote your thread is a bit confusing as to exactly what your point is. Sorry if I am offending you by saying that but putting ones thoughts on paper don't always translate the way we think of them when we write it down. I should know, I have posted here over 200 times and close to a thousand time on another board (completely unrelated) and with all of those post almost nobody has commented on what I have said unless I have started the thread. I don't take it personally because my thoughts are taken differently from what I mean and that is with reading it before I post it.

Trinni,
Thats the problem I can not post what I truley mean it is regulated by the powes that may be. If I get to in debt it somehow disappers?

Marjory
11-20-2008, 05:06 PM
You're not alone. I came out to my first wife before we were married and, when we divorced it was what she claimed was the problem. I now stay in the closet all the time. When I lived by myself I dressed when I wanted to, now that I'm married again I dress only when the wife is on the other coast. My small clothing stash is in a large gun safe that my wife does not have the combination for nor does she want it. I have never wanted to be a woman or have sex with a man. I am male with a female side... that's where it stops.

Marjory

curse within
11-20-2008, 05:11 PM
You're not alone. I came out to my first wife before we were married and, when we divorced it was what she claimed was the problem. I now stay in the closet all the time. When I lived by myself I dressed when I wanted to, now that I'm married again I dress only when the wife is on the other coast. My small clothing stash is in a large gun safe that my wife does not have the combination for nor does she want it. I have never wanted to be a woman or have sex with a man. I am male with a female side... that's where it stops.

Marjory
Thats funny cause I stash mine in a gun safe also:devil:

Jonianne
11-20-2008, 05:34 PM
.......I don't care if you dress 24/7 or once a year, if you are here for support you should get it........We all have one thing in common, we CD. Be happy with your level of CDing and respect those who do it at a different level.


Absolutely!

Nicki B
11-20-2008, 05:36 PM
Trinni,
Thats the problem I can not post what I truley mean it is regulated by the powes that may be. If I get to in debt it somehow disappers?

I don't think it's just you - the board has just undergone maintenance again and roughly half a dozen posts seem to have been lost from this thread.. :sad:

If they'd been modded, there would surely have been an auto-notification.

curse within
11-20-2008, 05:41 PM
I don't think it's just you - the board has just undergone maintenance again and roughly half a dozen posts seem to have been lost from this thread.. :sad:

If they'd been modded, there would surely have been an auto-notification.

Thanks Nicki ..that could be the reason..:D

Samantha43
11-20-2008, 06:07 PM
Curse Within,

I'll chime in with my :2c: worth. I kind of know where you are coming from because of a past experience. I believe we must all find our own comfort zone and stay within it. I am a married heterosexual crossdresser. I have no desire to "come out", dress full time, or do anything that would diminish my maleness. I do have a wife that knows and is supportive of me as long as I respect the boundries we have.

A few years ago I did go out several times. I went to a club that says on their web site they are a "support group" for CD's and transgendered. I went to four of their monthly meetings and afterward we went to a "friendly" bar. I did have fun, but never really got comfortable being dressed as a female in public. I believed the club was a meeting place where we could chat and have a good time. It was that, but they also had a formal meeting as part of the get together. It didn't take me long to figure out that they had a political agenda that I didn't agree with. I am just a conservative country boy / girl :D and didn't really want to march on the state capital in protest of whatever right they thought they were being denied! I was just looking for some conversation with like minded people. I felt I was misled by what their web site said and what they actually were. I stopped going the meetings and went back into the closet, which is where I am comfortable and wish to stay. I guess I got "going out" out of my system. This was years before I stumbled onto this site.

Crossdressers.com is different. We each are different in our needs and desires to dress. There is no right or wrong. Just what is right for the individual member. Some of us are completely comfortable with ourselves and some are struggling with their self identity. I am here for crossdressing tips, makeup tips, shopping tips, general conversation, etc. I have been comfortable with my life balance for a long time. Others are seeking advise on much more serious issues from people who may have been in their position at one time. I believe this forum is a valuable resource for these people. If you are looking for a way to stop your "curse", this isn't the place. If you are looking for a place where you can communicate with people with a common intrest.......from the comfort of your own closet, then this is a great place to be.

sterling12
11-20-2008, 06:16 PM
You have me confused. If your happy not going out, staying at home, and your situation is good....what the heck do you need from us in the way of support?

I know support comes in many forms, but apparently your not seeking advise, or counsel, or new ways of looking at Crossdressing. I will repeat, what support do you need from us?

The only "support" I can think of, is for us to validate your ideas about staying in the closet. That would not make us supportive, it would make us sycophants. Most of us around here believe that the best thing we can do for ourselves and our Sister's is to go out and "be." Staying in The Closet gets us nothing.

Do not misunderstand, I am glad to say that I can accept(tolerate?) your idea of continuing to stay in The Closet.....I just don't agree with it.

Peace and Love, Joanie

Nicki B
11-20-2008, 06:20 PM
It seems to offend most here why I fight these urges and most here do not understand that there are crossdresser who do not want to combine the two sexes into harmony, because there is no such thing!

I'll try quoting this again, 'cos although you probably saw my comment the first time, it's worth saying again...

As has been said above, we are all very different - but some of us can and DO find harmony for ourselves? It's not impossible?

If you keep participating, you may find you can, too? :)

curse within
11-20-2008, 07:21 PM
And back at square one, There seems to be a big mis understanding . "So I will repeat"! I never once said there was no supportive people and did not suggest no support is givin..Anyone notice the question mark? Is this place supportive because what I am reading in some of the replies hard to say.
This isn't just about me if you have noticed in some other positive replies ..So here it is again from my positition and where I fit which is the majority a "Typical crossdressing male" not transgender for the most part and far from transexual, is it supportive?.!! Is this place called crossdessers.com? yes!! So why when I post a thread to speak and reach out for people like me here I get negitive replies in asking why I am here because its not obviously the support I am looking for.

Don't kill the messenger I am happy for all that can except crossdressing full time but remember most of us can't and that leaves me as a minority on a self proclaimed support board with a majority issue doesn't it!!

Sophia de la luz
11-20-2008, 07:50 PM
Partly in jest.:love:

Anyhow, you seem to be feeling supported, Cursed Within. That's good.

I do think your belief that the sexes cannot find harmony inside ourselves is a choice you are making, perhaps of necessity. It's not one I agree with. In fact, one of the features of crossdressing I enjoy the most is how it facilitates (in me) a wider canvas of gender then the either or of male vs female. And on that canvas, there is quite a bit of harmony. To each their own, eh?

Karren H
11-20-2008, 07:54 PM
This is more of a self supporting forum... Like self service checkouts... You get as much support as you want to put into it... If you need more then there's the full service checkout aka a theripst.. I just come here to chat about crossdressing because I love it and have a big mouth!!

And I could care less if your a cd, tg, ts... GG. What ever... Talking about clothes and makeup transends gender... Everyones the same.... Maybe for different reasons but wearing womens clothing is wearing womens clothing.. :)

curse within
11-20-2008, 07:56 PM
Partly in jest.:love:

Anyhow, you seem to be feeling supported, Cursed Within. That's good.

I do think your belief that the sexes cannot find harmony inside ourselves is a choice you are making, perhaps of necessity. It's not one I agree with. In fact, one of the features of crossdressing I enjoy the most is how it facilitates (in me) a wider canvas of gender then the either or of male vs female. And on that canvas, there is quite a bit of harmony. To each their own, eh?

Sophia .. I think you are hitting that part correct and only then not while in the closet its impossiable to achive and accept if you are denying its existance.

Thanks for touching on that

docrobbysherry
11-20-2008, 07:57 PM
And back at square one, There seems to be a big mis understanding . "So I will repeat"! I never once said there was no supportive people and did not suggest no support is givin..Anyone notice the question mark? Is this place supportive because what I am reading in some of the replies hard to say.
This isn't just about me if you have noticed in some other positive replies ..So here it is again from my positition and where I fit which is the majority a "Typical crossdressing male" not transgender for the most part and far from transexual, is it supportive?.!! Is this place called crossdessers.com? yes!! So why when I post a thread to speak and reach out for people like me here I get negitive replies in asking why I am here because its not obviously the support I am looking for.

Don't kill the messenger I am happy for all that can except crossdressing full time but remember most of us can't and that leaves me as a minority on a self proclaimed support board with a majority issue doesn't it!!

You're getting responses from a handfull of individuals, whereas there's 1000's of members here!:eek:

We're way different in our CD expressions. I'm closeted for a number of reasons, here's two that may interest u;

1. I'm a fetish, escapist CD. And it's very sexual for me! Dressing up in a house dress and buying a loaf of bread is NOT my idea of fun CDing! I dress, let's say, imaginatively, to suit only me! But, I can't go out in public dressed that way. So, I just don't care to go out.

2. I don't need to balance my male and female sides. Because I'm NOT aware of a female side!

I originally got a lot of flack when I came here a year ago. But, privately, I received a number of messages from CDs with similar interests. There r a lot of lurkers here. They don't post, for any number of reasons. But they're here!:love:

And I still have not reconciled the thrill I get from CDing, with the guilt pangs I occasionally suffer!

PortiaHoney
11-20-2008, 07:59 PM
To live TG or TS is a big investment of your life. Bigger than anything else. It is only natural that they who do will have a bigger voice here in an environment that is safe and welcoming. There are lots of similar sites but this is by far the best (at least for me).

Many have found support and information here, even those who do not post. The numbers of people of all persuations gaining support here is much greater than the number of members and greater again than regular contributors.

Encouragement to "go out" is a reflection of the satisfaction or otherwise they themselves have gained from going the "next" step. On the whole, lives are changed and many for the better.

HOWEVER, as many have said, it all comes down to personal choice. If you are sitting on the fence and can't make a decision, maybe a little nudge would be a good thing. If it's the wrong choice for you, then you can always go back. Absolutely no-one is forcing anyone to do anything. Members of this site are real people, with real experiences and glad of the support to make the decisions they have and happy to share with others in similar situations.

If you, and also many of us, are happy to play in the closet, then good on you. I for one, am able to make up my own mind if I wish to take it further. I am grateful for the stories of success and wonderful anecdotes that get posted here. They help me to realise that I am not some two headed freak hiding away some where, but if I choose to keep my CD'ing closeted, well I can feel better about it knowing I am not alone and if I choose to go out, then I can find support to help me in what to me would be a very awkward time.

I knew from your posting that there would be many varied reactions. This appears to be an attack on the nature of the beast. Reading your post closely can be taken many different ways - even though that was not your intention. We are many different people of many different interests. Some have a lot invested personally. Of course you will get negative reactions. Read the same sentence to 100 different people, chances are you will get 100 different responses. If you feel you are getting "shafted" on this subject, just remember, you are dealing with a very intimate subject.

So please don't take what appears to be a negative response as a personal attack. All are welcome here and opinions are for everyone. Take what you need from this site and use that in your life.

:hugs:Portia

TGMarla
11-20-2008, 08:02 PM
CW, even your pen name here suggests that you're very uncomfortable with your crossdressing. I'm not sure just where on the bell curve you are, but you seem to be trying hard to categorize everybody with concrete terminology. For instance:
Transgender: Self proclaimed sexualy perferred straight crossdresser who live or acts out his female desires. May dress in full femme often or little. Idenitifies himself to be attracted to a female partner as a female. Is that considered being "Gay"? No due to his true genetic sex he is a male however truely thinking ones identity as female would consider himself as a lesbian term used for the act of being gay for the genetic females. Not saying all transgender males are straight or gay, that is a different life style completely.
I take exception to this definition. I'm not gay. I'm married, heterosexual, and have absolutely no desires or intentions to ever have sex with a male. I do not "live or act out my female desires". However, I have within me, a large part of my soul that is intrinsically female. I often imagine actually having breasts and female genitelia. I have a modecum of transexual tendencies. But I am not transexual, and have no plans whatsoever to transition. Were I actually female, though, I think I'd still be heterosexual, and would have sex likely only with men. I consider myself transgendered, but I don't fit anywhere near into your molded definition. This is exactly why you will find that in general, the members on this site shy away from such definitions, and tend to lump everybody under some very broad terms, each with a bell curve within the umbrella that ranges from the slight to the severe.

I have come to this understanding of myself and many of those I have come to know on this site because of the support and solidarity I have found on this site. I hope that you can do the same.

curse within
11-20-2008, 08:10 PM
Karren your a hoot and way above any support most envy you thats a great thing we only live once .

Stephanie Scott
11-20-2008, 08:28 PM
This is an excellent topic -- one that warrants the full spectrum of response. I'll give my thoughts FWIW.

Like any other group of people, there are some who are supportive, some who are not, and some who are both! (I am deeply flawed, quite sinful, and probably fall into the latter category).

I am a heterosexual happily married husband and father. I am politically conservative. In guy mode, I am all man -- I have no desire to be effeminate as a guy. In girl mode, I am all girl (at least internally) -- I have no desire to be a masculine woman. The most important thing about me is that I am a Christian. I am at peace with my feminine side -- quite love and enjoy it actually -- and I believe it to be fully reconcilable with my faith (leaving me in a small minority amongst my Christian brethren, no doubt).

I have frequently found that I am a misfit among misfits, as it were. I do not subscribe to the theory that TG folks should "hitch the wagon" to the gay movement. I believe it to be greatly counterproductive. I am similarly wholly unenthusiastic about other politically liberal orthodoxies that find their home among many here. That often makes me unpopular, I think, and it probably affects the level of support I receive. So I suppose I only have myself to blame.

I long to clear up misunderstandings amongst TG folk about Christianity and vice versa, but the field has not been too fertile -- at least not that I can see (hopefully, God works on people's hearts -- that's His job). It's kinda like having 2 best friends that you love, and they dislike each other. I desperately want them to get together and find common ground -- because by virtue of my mebership in both camps, I KNOW there is common ground. I often feel caught in the middle, lonely, and frustrated.

This forum has been wonderful in terms of people being supportive of my crossdressing itself but not so wonderful in terms of being supportive of me and my beliefs as a whole. Some have been supportive -- even a few who don't hold the same beliefs as I -- so I don't want to leave a completely negative impression about that, however.

On balance, however, my membership here has been positive, despite my frustrations. I enjoy reading about the joys, triumphs, tragedies, etc of people facing the same issues I have. It has given me courage to explore my feminine side and go out once in a while; examine myself and my beliefs; talk out my issues; and gain tolerance, understanding, and encouragement for those who are different than me.

And I thank all of you for that and for your (often unknowing) contribution to my life and my well-being. :love:

God bless,
Stephanie

Holly
11-20-2008, 08:35 PM
CW, I am at a bit of a loss in understanding exactly what you are talking about. I have read several of your previous threads and fail to see where there has been "constant persistence and mis understanding" as to why you desire to stay in the closet with your dressing. If that's where you want to be, fine. In looking at the responses to your threads I see little is any pressure for you to exit the closet.

You make a statement that you label as fact, saying, "Typical male cross dresser is one who tends to wear female clothing under his own, has little or no desires to become or act out as female." That may be your perception and you are more than welcome to claim that as your own truth for your own life. It is not accurate, however, to ascribe this as representative of a typical cross dresser.

If I may, I would offer a suggestion that you, perhaps still struggling with your own placement of the gender spectrum. Even your user name suggests that you are conflicted (and yes I did read your thread about your "nick."

You will find several here like yourself who are happy and content to dress in their closets and find peace and relaxation there. You will find others who are joyful in dressing and interacting in the general public. And still others who live full-time and have integrated their masculine and feminine into one life which they cherish. Some will opt to make physical alterations to their bodies in an effort to bring harmony to spirit and body. And in between these, an infinite number of variations, none of which is right for all but every one right for the individual living that life.

The support you are seeking does not necessarily come from other affirming how you chose to live your life. The greatest support is continued encouragement to find your place on the spectrum and to embrace it.

Angie G
11-20-2008, 09:24 PM
I'm out to my wife and that's as far as I'm coming out. I dress fully 5 days a week. I call myself a cross dresser and nothing more. I have no need to be a woman nor wish to be I wouldn't mind a nice set of real breasts but will live with my forums. anyone here can stay as far in the closet As they wish. I respct you wish to do so hun.:hugs:
Angie

curse within
11-20-2008, 10:24 PM
Holly and Angie thanks two different ways of taking one thread ..Thanks ANgie for understanding .. Holly I am sorry you think that a male typical crossdresser is how I decribe it but that is not how I describe, it fully is the professinal term for my level. Shall I post a url suggesting that? Thats my point different levels im not asking for support over this but I am amazed how people deny that there are different levels. http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/cathytg/help.htm... It says get different opinions as well So I ask why do people get upset over this? Is there something they find wrong with the level they fit in? My wording may not be exact but its pretty much right on from other web searches I've done.

ElaineB
11-20-2008, 11:05 PM
im not asking for support over this but I am amazed how people deny that there are different levels. http://ourworld.compuserve.com/homepages/cathytg/help.htm... It says get different opinions as well So I ask why do people get upset over this?

So ... are you saying that you find people unwilling to consider that dressing might be a problem, or unwilling to discuss the problematic aspects of it, or some such? (I am guessing from what you wrote here and in other threads; your point is also unclear to me).

A lot of support sites or groups have to deal with the same issue; people have widely different ideas of what constitutes support, and their needs can conflict. Oh can they ever conflict... (I say that as a former moderator of an IRC support channel in an area completely unrelated to dressing).

With CDing one obvious division is between those who see it as a problem and those who do not, with some number in between (probably most) who are willing to consider both views. I do think the culture here is weighted towards those who do not see dressing as a problem in itself, but not because anybody is doing anything to make it that way ... just because those on the other side do not speak up as often. Maybe they also tend not to last as long because (naturally) they are not as happy about dressing to begin with.

For myself ... I like the practical tips given here on clothes and makeup, and I sometimes like to see the pictures ... mostly from curiosity as to how well it is possible to pass. I also value very much the serious discussions about why we do what we do, regardless of what angle they come from and whether I agree with the views being expressed.

I have noticed that when people do start talking about going out, on dates, etc. there is always somebody .... and usually several people ... who pop up with cautionary advice and tips on how to be safe and keep it real. So even though most discussion here is on the positive aspects, it is far from Pollyanna-ish.

A couple people have PMd me asking if I want to meet up or go out in RL sometime ... which I do not, generally. I suppose that might be a bit intimidating to some and that general level of encouragement might seem like peer pressure. But really, we are all adults and should be able to handle it, no? I appreciate all the messages I have got, public or private.

curse within
11-20-2008, 11:20 PM
Stepaine and Angie are some of the few who got the point ..I will type this real slow this time..........Notice the title....it says is this place supportive with a question mark behind it ....?... That would be me asking others if they feel this place is supportive ...requardless of what I added those are my own thoughts from what I have gathered from the net and being on here ..It is in no way suggesting that people in here are not being supportive to others. It is a suggestion on why I don't feel like I am being supported with comments from folks ensureing this as to why. I am not asking for support and thought I made it clear where I stood on that ...guess not.. so if the point is missed re read the first 3 lines again. ..... I just want to know if others at times do not feel supported.

Its not a bad thing and I am just curious in the reason is that something that is so bad ?

docrobbysherry
11-20-2008, 11:59 PM
Its not a bad thing and I am just curious in the reason is that something that is so bad ?

it's the way you've written some of your ideas, that may be confusing folks.

Like this sentence, for example. I can GUESS what u mean, but I'm really NOT sure!:brolleyes:

harmony
11-21-2008, 12:02 AM
living with a curse is what most of us want to put behind us-it is negative and nonproductive.helping with this is the thrust of this board and it works well.
may be in addition to this site you may find solace on one that deals with fetishes?
peace to you my friend from harmony
or an old native american greeting:are you harmonious?

curse within
11-21-2008, 12:11 AM
it's the way you've written some of your ideas, that may be confusing folks.

Like this sentence, for example. I can GUESS what u mean, but I'm really NOT sure!:brolleyes:
Thanks docrobby,

Perhaps..... I know I am use to being on the defence I don't know.. I have nothing against this place or any member ..I really find you an interesting crossdresser tho one in which I have never really heard of or seen first hand I read some of your post here ..Started later than most, no female side very much into costume and uses crossdressing as a sexual fetish. I hope I am not insulting you in pointing that out thats not my intent I just find it interesting and wonder where it would be placed at by a professinal as a level.

Thanks for the comment and being yourself, I think you are an original..

Bethany_Anne_Fae
11-21-2008, 12:17 AM
I have frequently found that I am a misfit among misfits, as it were. It's kinda like having 2 best friends that you love, and they dislike each other. I desperately want them to get together and find common ground -- because by virtue of my mebership in both camps, I KNOW there is common ground.
Stephanie

Excellent post Stephanie, and you are not alone in your perceptions as I share them as well, but under a different religion altogether.

As for the OP, its hard to categorize the lot of us and one shouldn't try. Each of us brings something different to the table. Our circumstances may be similar on a few levels but few of us are identical. No one wants to be lumped in on the broad brush stroke so to speak.

If one wants to stay incognito then they should be allowed to do so without hassle from others. Same goes for those that want to be out into the world being all they can be.

*hugs*

Zarabeth