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tawneyfox
11-21-2008, 05:32 AM
A question,
As I explore my "other" side, I find that I am learning some new lessons about life. Self confidence being the biggest one that I have translated to my day to day life.

Do you find (if any) lessons that "walking in another's shoes" has taught you?

Thanks
Tawney

sallyjones
11-21-2008, 05:36 AM
walking in womens shoe i also have learned alot more than i have expected. more than just the rush that goes away mostly but the lessons of the jump to the other side is very eye opening

Jamie M
11-21-2008, 05:39 AM
The biggest thing i think i have taken from this and that i endevour to apply to my life each and every day is exactly that which you describe "to try and walk in someone else's shoes" i.e. to try and understand other's feelings, ideas and lifestyles even when (and espescially so ) they don't match with my own. We all lead our lives our own way and if more thought was given to alternatives then life would be so much easier for us all.

Jenniferpl
11-21-2008, 06:11 AM
The journey has revealed many things to me. Women’s lingerie is soft to the touch. Keeping my legs shaved requires a lot of effort. I noticed the cold a lot more when my legs are shaved. The feel of tight nylons against smooth skin has nice feel. Wearing my 42 c inserts for more than a few hours causes back pain. Same thing with 4" heels. I find the hunt for the right outfit rewarding and fun to do.

Those are just few. If I had more time there would many more.

Mollyanne
11-21-2008, 06:16 AM
The journey has revealed many things to me. Women’s lingerie is soft to the touch. Keeping my legs shaved requires a lot of effort. I noticed the cold a lot more when my legs are shaved. The feel of tight nylons against smooth skin has nice feel. Wearing my 42 c inserts for more than a few hours causes back pain. Same thing with 4" heels. I find the hunt for the right outfit rewarding and fun to do.

Those are just few. If I had more time there would many more.

I CAN IDENTIFY WITH THIS IN EVERY WAY ALSO!!!!

:love: Mollyanne

tawneyfox
11-21-2008, 06:39 AM
cold, yes (who would have thought)
silky fabric, yes (I did think, and I LOVE it)
shaving legs, what a pain. way too many nicks!!! (can you say waxing?)
The right outfit, yes
My feet will never be the same, yes, yes, yes! (still have to have my 5" heels tho!)

angelfire
11-21-2008, 07:09 AM
I'd say the biggest lesson it has taught me is acceptance of others for their quirks, and however they are. It has taught me that if I want to be accepted as I am, I really need to accept others as they are. Crossdressing has made me a much more open-minded person.

nikki47
11-21-2008, 07:14 AM
Its the same with me about confidence,i feel a whole new person now,life seems so much more fun and less stressfull.This last year i have been dressing every week compared to before when i used to dress only every now and then,my children are grown now and i feel that this is my time now.
I just love how i feel now,especially since i joined this wonderful forum.

Nikki

Karren H
11-21-2008, 07:40 AM
I don't reall know what my "exploration" has taught me vs what I would have learned if I hadn't walked into my mothers closet when I was 7...

But I do know that smiling is an awesome weapon.. No one really cares what you wear except you.. Shopping should be in the olympics.. Doesn't mater how much makeup you have. You never bring what you need on a trip... Purses are never big enough.... Crossdressing isn't for the lazy or faint of heart and when in the ladies room..... Watch your skirt else it will get sucked down the toilet...

:)

Crissy Kay
11-21-2008, 08:14 AM
I will have to guess that you learn a lot about men, being "dressed" out in public!!!!

Phyliss
11-21-2008, 06:12 PM
As I explore my "other" side, I find..,,. new lessons about life. Self confidence being the biggest one that I have translated to my day to day life.

Tawney

Something I'm now gaining , never was much of one to be "brave" but these days I'm much better at being ME than I used to be

The biggest thing i think i have taken from this .... try and understand other's feelings, ideas and lifestyles even when (and espescially so ) they don't match with my own....

Learning to appreciate others for who they are ... a wonderful lesson


I'd say the biggest lesson it has taught me is acceptance of others for their quirks, and however they are. It has taught me that if I want to be accepted as I am, I really need to accept others as they are. Crossdressing has made me a much more open-minded person.

As the saying goes, " A mind is like a parachute, it only works when open"


Its the same with me about confidence,i feel a whole new person now,life seems so much more fun and less stressfull.
Nikki

Lack of "stress" a beautiful feeling


.... I do know that smiling is an awesome weapon..

:)


One that I recently discovered and am learning to use daily. It really does work.


Above all else, I now have the ability to look another person square in the eye and feel good about myself, no longer the scared rabbit hiding from the world.

Stacye Rose
11-21-2008, 06:31 PM
Bigger is not always better.
Less can sometimes be more
Shorter is not necessarily sexier

You can't go to far wrong if you are always gentle, kind, and honest
Always tell the truth(or at least part of it) that way you don't have to remember what lie you told to whom
Sometimes you have to ignore what your head tells you and just follow your heart
Always trust you instincts about people, places, and situations, if you don't feel comfortable-leave
You catch more flies with honey than you do with vinegar

Crystal Galadriel
11-21-2008, 06:36 PM
I haven't learned many of these lessons myself from dressing, mostly because I already had a lot of these philosophies, dressing or not.

I've always been a very tolerant person, very accepting of other people, no matter how weird they are. I've always been comfortable with who I am, though I tend to subconsciously alter how I act when I'm around people. I pick up on their mannerisms and such and basically just act the same way they do while I'm around them without even meaning to.

One thing I think I have learned from dressing, though, is that it's impossible to accurately stereotype someone. Looking at me, my usual interests and activities and everything, I'd never guess that someone like me would be a crossdresser. I know it's similar for a lot of you ladies. You really can't put people into groups, everyone is so different from each other and anyone could be into anything, regardless of stereotypes. As a result, not much surprises me anymore, because I've learned not to expect anyone to be a certain way before I know.

Kerrylee61
11-21-2008, 06:39 PM
Since my Kerry Lee persona is rather flamboyant and outgoing, I found that when I did seminars in drab, all I had to do was let some of Kerry Lee out and my seminar evaluation sheets came with about a 40% improvement rate.

How about that! Just goes to show that the alternate gender can be a real bonus to we CD types.

Kerry Lee

Teri Jean
11-21-2008, 06:47 PM
The thing that I have to say has been the most reveiling is how much I like being dressed whenever I can, usually daily. The other would be acceptance. Keli

sometimes_miss
11-21-2008, 07:24 PM
Many years ago, I learned how women see the world differently from how men do. But only in the past 13 years did I understand the complete difference in perception, communication, and thought processes, and also how they affect what attracts a woman to a man. The worst part was understanding that most qualities a woman subconsciously looks for in a mate are at complete opposites from how crossdressing portrays us. The lesson I learned.....was that less than one percent of women will be attracted to a guy who crossdresses. When you factor that in to all the other things that make us compatible with another person, it brings the odds of ever finding anyone we have things in common with, down so far that it makes winning the lottery seem like a better chance. Learning that I will either: spend the rest of my life alone, or have deceive and stay closeted from anyone I date, and knowing that eventually they will find out and hate and leave me, isn't something that I have been able to come to accept yet, and so I remain alone.

Deborah Jane
11-21-2008, 07:33 PM
I'd say the biggest lesson it has taught me is acceptance of others for their quirks, and however they are. It has taught me that if I want to be accepted as I am, I really need to accept others as they are. Crossdressing has made me a much more open-minded person.

Same here, accepting my crossdressing has made me much more open minded to other life styles.

Don,t judge, lest thee be judged!!

docrobbysherry
11-21-2008, 07:46 PM
I understand how they think, a little bit better!
Whenever I look at Sherry, I see her defects! Even in her best looks and pics, I find fault with something(s)!

Don't think I haven't used that information on pretty dates, in last few years!:D

subaru_forster
11-21-2008, 08:29 PM
Many years ago, I learned how women see the world differently from how men do. But only in the past 13 years did I understand the complete difference in perception, communication, and thought processes, and also how they affect what attracts a woman to a man. The worst part was understanding that most qualities a woman subconsciously looks for in a mate are at complete opposites from how crossdressing portrays us. The lesson I learned.....was that less than one percent of women will be attracted to a guy who crossdresses. When you factor that in to all the other things that make us compatible with another person, it brings the odds of ever finding anyone we have things in common with, down so far that it makes winning the lottery seem like a better chance. Learning that I will either: spend the rest of my life alone, or have deceive and stay closeted from anyone I date, and knowing that eventually they will find out and hate and leave me, isn't something that I have been able to come to accept yet, and so I remain alone.


I learned that acceptance can come from unlikely sources, and that most of the turmoil lies in fear and anticipation. Faith in yourself is important. Furthermore, and I'll bet I'm not nearly alone in this belief, true love has it's way of conquering obsticles such as (if it is an obsticle at all) crossddessing.

Sophia de la luz
11-21-2008, 08:39 PM
What I have learned is more self acceptance, and have had the opportunity to watch my self loathing fade a bit. I have learned to relax and be lighter with other people, and have learned a greater appreciation for marginal lifestyles in general.
I have learned an appreciation for the amount of effort some women go through everyday to look a certain way.
And, if course, I have learned quite a bit about women's clothing... although the journey is ongoing.

Lesley Ann
11-21-2008, 09:38 PM
Having only been dressing for about three years, and reading through the previous threads I can only add a couple of things. I could never understand what took my wife so long to get ready, I now understand. If we were suddenly invited out, my wife's reaction would be sometimes you go I have nothing to wear, when her two wardrobe's were full of clothes, I now understand. When my wife used the toilet I knew I had enough time to smoke a cigarette, I now understand.
My wife of forty years died some eighteen months ago, how I wish she was alive for thousands of reasons including the above comments, I wish I could say to her "It's alright Dawn I understand"
Lesley Ann.

DanaR
11-21-2008, 09:52 PM
There have been some very good answers. I've become more accepting of other as well. I was always fairly shy, when I was young, it seems like I've grown out that and have more confidence as a girl. It has also made me aware of what woman have to endure, even just walking down the street.

Tracii G
11-22-2008, 03:57 AM
I can relate to the ladies room comment by Karren LOL.OH! theres more!Shopping is fun.

tawneyfox
12-19-2008, 03:30 AM
Thanks for all your comments. You have said things that I didn't think of and it all rings true for me. I wish everyone could have this experience in their lives. To find another person inside their own skin.

Here's to the adventure! :cheers:

Beth-Lock
12-19-2008, 04:03 AM
I have learned to really listen to women when they tell of their experiences in being a woman, and to respect their experience. It has been a joyous journey, getting to understand what being a woman is like, more and more, from talking to women, and analysing my own experiences when dressed. In short, my wisdom about such things has deepened.
Example: When I went to a dance as a man and snagged the net-like shawl of a woman sitting where I was passing, she was apologetic and said she should not have worn it. I replied, that it was beautiful in its effect, and it was nice that she had worn it, and not to worry, as the two of us worked to get me unsnagged. That was completely opposite to what would have been my normal male response of impatience, which she expected.
I realize the times I have failed to pass, I have not put enough effort into it and in not thinking long and deeply enough of my appearance and presentation, unlike the day to day thinking of a woman. Women are always being judged by their appearance, and making a suitable impression is, as others have mentioned here, a lot of work, and meticulous work, in which one's self-consciousness, (of the impression one's appearance is likely to make), is raised to a high pitch.
I now realize that going full time would be an arduous thing to do properly.
I would not recommend it as therapy to those not already inclined that way, but sometimes in the peculiar byways of life, you learn things that are of the utmost significance in making you what you become. (One hopes, a better person.)

Lorraine Adams 2008
12-31-2008, 11:36 AM
Even when I wear jeans (en femme), I know that I am walking as a woman. I find there is a certain mindset when dressed. It's hard for me to explain. Mannerisms (hopefully) change, the way you talk, the way you go to the restroom, the way you smile, the way you present yourself, etc. It's an exciting moment for me when I go out en femme. I love exchanging conversation with other women, feeling like I am a part of their feminine world or culture. There's always something new in my "explorations."

Kelsy
12-31-2008, 12:58 PM
I've learned that everyone wants acceptance and love! I am trying my best to live that way and perhaps I will receive the same!

:)Kelsy

charlie
12-31-2008, 01:20 PM
Hello Tawney!
I have learned much more about myself. This feminine side makes me more understanding, more patient and more observant. I also have boosted my confidence level in myself. I am not two people ...one feminine, the other male. I am both. As such when I dress feminine, it is still me. Nothing to be ashamed of, just me. That is why I go out and about. The rub happens when I can't be me to those that I really care about, family and friends. Society does not understand us and as such has labeled us deviants or worst. I love my female half, but would stop dressing in a flash if I could.

JoAnne Wheeler
12-31-2008, 07:13 PM
Absolutely - CDing is an awakening experience - I've learned why it takes my spouse to get ready to go somewhere - I've also learned why it takes women so long to go to the restroom (so many clothing layers)
Love,
JoAnne Wheeler