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View Full Version : who to tell



tanyalynn51
11-21-2008, 07:52 PM
This is not one Ive seen yet, but I havent been through all of the forums yet. As I say in my intro, I am pretty much alone in this. I have a friend who cleans my house, who I am sure has figured it out. I think I just need to bring it out into the open. She is a lesbian who has always gotten a lot of grief, whereas I have always been understanding. I think she would also be so. It might give me someone to talk to and even go shopping with. Any thoughts? Thanx, Tanya

sarahluv74
11-21-2008, 07:56 PM
if you think that she could handle it i would tell her. i have a friend that is bi and she totally understands me. we have good talks late into the night....:love:

Kimberly Marie Kelly
11-21-2008, 10:43 PM
In the last couple of months, my daughter revealed to me that she had a new girlfriend. Up to this point I thought she was Heterosexual, so when she told me about her new girlfriend and that her mom did not take it well I accepted her and her SO. I decided then to tell my daughter about my Crossdressing, which she accepted and said she already knew about.

If you think this person already knows about your other side and you accept her for her, I really think she will be vey accepting of you. I would tell her in a loving way and just ask her to accept you for you. I will tell you this, once you start telling people the fear of being found out goes away quickly and you can be who you are. Kimberly :battingeyelashes:

docrobbysherry
11-22-2008, 12:00 AM
She sounds like the ideal sounding board to me!:thumbsup:

darla_g
11-22-2008, 12:08 AM
i might have a different attitude than some. I share most of my discussions on CDing with a good GG friend. I can talk to my wife about it but it is rare. I had been considering talking to my kids about this but after recent discussions with my friend, i am not contemplating this. She asked why? it doesn't involve them , i don't dress around them and i have no plans to go out. so for now I'm not worrying about it.

BeckiB
11-22-2008, 12:18 AM
This is always a interesting topic. Who to tell? Another TG person that I have a lot of respect for and is older and wiser (now I can't use her name) told me once that it really is not important to shout to the world that you are a crossdresser. She said think of the reason you want them to know. How would they benefit by knowing. My first thought was " I could be myself around them" That was of course the wrong reply because it served only my own needs. What if you told the person and they had a hard time with this as many do. How does that help either of you out? Every situation is different and it is up to us to decide how to handle them. For me I think a spouse or SO should know. I have a lot of friends that don't know. It would not better our friendship and they are not people that I would dress around anyway.

Tanya I think in your situation I would tell. You are right, she probably knows if she cleans your house (if not you have to wonder how clean it really is! LOL). Also there is a bit of a kin ship there and you may be able to support each other to an extent not possible now.

trannie T
11-22-2008, 01:52 AM
She most likely knows, so go ahead and talk with her.

monique01
11-22-2008, 11:10 AM
Tanya, go and tell her as my wife has one lesbian daughter and she accepted my secret very well. She even commented to me that since she had been accepted so well by all in the family she could only accept my fem side graciously. She said that being lesbian she did understand someone having a secret side too.

suzy
11-22-2008, 11:18 AM
Tanya,

I think there is always a risk when deciding who to tell. Who knows how people will react to what they may consider strange behavior?

I recommend that you drops little subtle hints and see if she takes the bait. One toe in the water at a time until the toe is accustomed to the water. From your post, it sounds like you may already be doing this. Best of luck!

:2c::hugs:

Vivian Best
11-22-2008, 11:31 AM
I think of all the people you could tell, she would be the most apt to accept your needs particularly since you accept her.

Jenny Beth
11-22-2008, 11:33 AM
Hard to say how she'd take it but I'd bet she would keep it to herself and not judge you. Like others here my daughter is bi and some of her friends know about me and have no problem with my dressing when they've visited.