PDA

View Full Version : Feeling a little a guilty about my good luck



Andrea-B
11-24-2008, 09:41 AM
I joined this board only a short time ago and have now read many different accounts of people's experiences with dressing and expressing their feminine selves. I am very fortunate to have an actively supportive and loving spouse who encourages me to be who I am and has no issues with when I choose to dress. I have crossdressed since I was 12 years old but have been out of the closet to my spouse since the very beginning of our relationship. A few close female friends know that I dress and are also supportive. Dressing is a private, pleasurable pastime that I engage in to relax and be different from my regular guy self. It's a need but a need to have fun or feel sexy in a different way and just be positive about the whole experience.

My points is this. I have read posts detailing girls with a similar situation to mine, but so many that struggle with fear and an inability to reconcile their dressing with the rest of their lives which they also value and cherish. I shudder to think of how I would manage being faced with such choices and sometimes I feel that the fact my dressing can be 'recreational' (for lack of a better term that I can come up with) is somehow unearned compared to the sacrifices others make. There is much we have in common but our respective situations seems to create two very distinct paths of experience.

Do any others feel this way, or am I reading too much into this? Thoughts? Comments?

Jamie M
11-24-2008, 09:48 AM
There's no need to feel guilty , instead celebrate in the fact that you're in a good place with your femme feelings. Crikey , we have enough things to worry about when we walk this path so there's no need to sabotage things when they're going good :D


Personally , when i find myself in that place and i know that there are others out there not having such a good time , instead of feeling guilty i'll try my hardest to help them to the same place , maybe that's what you need ?

:hugs:

Eileen
11-24-2008, 10:00 AM
Andrea Julia is right. You should not have any feelings of guilt. Be thankful for your situation. Perhaps you can be there for others not so fortunate.

Eileen

Karren H
11-24-2008, 12:13 PM
Actually you should feel guilty!! Makes me feel a lot better just to know you feel guilty too!!

:D

Did I mention I hate you. Right now?

:)

Hahaha

That actually felt good...

Don't feel sorry for us who have less than optimul situations.. That's life and nothing anyone should feel guilty about...

Ok I really don't hate you.....

geri-tg.
11-24-2008, 12:40 PM
I am blessed to have a supportive wife also.I don't feel quilty at all.It took a long time and many hours of talking to take away her fear.I do respect her wishes about my need to crossdress.She is awesome and we are much closer now than ever before.

Babette
11-24-2008, 02:00 PM
Andrea,

I know exactly how you feel. So many times I have read messages by others extolling their good fortune or bemoaning their bad, and have wondered if my posts came across poorly or ill-perceived. It is so hard to convey one's true sentiment in written messages. On the other hand, it is too easy to be misconstrued.

I am truly happy for the lucky ones as I have many things to be thankful for. I will continue to empathize for those less fortunate and remain sensitive to their feelings as I post.

I hope this helps.

Babette

susan fuller
11-24-2008, 02:09 PM
I am one of the lucky ones and I have no guilyty feelings about it. I just hope that everyone else will achieve as good a level of understanding from their SO's. Keep up the good work with your wife and be happy.

Sarah...
11-24-2008, 02:26 PM
It's important NOT to feel guilty. Otherwise where would you actually stop? For example, you really ought to feel guilty that you have more food than lots of other folks; more power available for your consumption than may others; more choice in life than many others; more of loads of stuff really. And, in the case of this forum, a more supportive spouse than many others. It's a fact.

Guilt is no way to deal with this sort of issue. What really makes the person a quality person is the way s/he responds to the situation. The way s/he gives whatever she can where it's needed. I think that's what makes a difference. And I see a lot of it here. And that's heartening. Guilt is destructive and, in my view, doesn't allow us to make the most of our humanity - valuing our differences and using those to make it better, even in a small way, for someone else.

Sarah...

deja true
11-24-2008, 02:59 PM
Absolutely, Sarah...!

Andrea, hun, you should only feel guilty if you don't share your good fortune with others. If you've got more time, more money, more stuff, more acceptance than others you know who are hurting from those lacks, then it's up to you to be generous.

Hoarding your happiness won't make you near as happy as spreading it around. :)

Pernille Tiratzo
11-24-2008, 05:28 PM
I am really aggreeing with the answers in here. There is no reason to feel guilty for having a supportive wife. But I have the same feelings as you have in feeling lucky. But I understand and feel bad on behalf on the girls in here not having supportive wifes, girlfriends etc. After all they do not no anything illegal. History is not beeing effected by them in a negative way. I hope that all of them gets a life were thay are accepted and loved for whom they are, regardless of what they wear!

for all of you that needs a little happy greeting:love::love::love::love:

Andrea-B
11-25-2008, 08:29 AM
Thank you all for your thoughtful comments. The general theme of help and support where you can; choose action over in-action certainly helps to clarify what's important.

There is much wisdom to be found here and hopefully I can contribute to that in some small way.

Thanks again, everyone.

Carly D.
11-25-2008, 05:43 PM
I live in a small town in the sticks of Nebraska.. and if I came out and told everyone that I crossdress, the news would get to the other end of town and back and give me whiplash.. the reason as well that I don't come out is that I would be an outcast.. so there you go then..