How do you tell your SO that!!
I don't know the best way to tell my wife that I want to attend a night or day out with some other Crossdressers. I really wanted to go to this X-mas party tonight as Denise , It was a support group in Jersey I even E-Mailed the hostess and got directions. I would have met at some motel and gotton dressed and went over to the party. I got scared and never went :( Reading all these posts on how exciting it is to go out dressed {and not on Halloween , that don't count } has me wanting this feeling badly. I have gotton some nice comments from you girls that gave me courage to move further. I Know I need to see what it is like to be Denise around others to see if I like that feeling. I am a bit nervous because once I walk through that door, I know my life is going to change. The first time most of you met with other CD's be it at a bar, social event, home or mall, did you tell your [No so supporting wife} ??? <> Hey hon, I just wanted you to know that tonight I will be dressed as a woman and enjoying the night as a girl. I will do my best to pass as a female so don't worry about me I have been practicing. I will be late so don't wait up. She is already suspusious that I am chatting with some of you but doesn't know of the pictures I posted or the threads I started. I think she might have seen the site maybe +? So what would you girls do , or what suggestions do you have. I don't like to be sneeky, but we are all a little sneeky at times. any advise Hugs denise
It depends upon her upbringing and beliefs....
My wife lived a very sheltered life even though the way we were raised was very similar...on our own, alone, responsible for ourselves. I would say, and still think, that she was close to being a puritan. How you approach your SO is very dependent upon their value system. I let my wife know when she was very depressed. I tried to lighten things up by telling her she wasn't alone with her problems. Wellllll....that did not work at all.
The doubts, the fights, the "inspections" resulted. It wasn't until 1993 that she finally came to grips with the fact that I like to cross dress. She was afraid that I would leave her for a man [yuck!] She was afraid our children would find out. Finally, the truth came out...."I would know how to fight another woman for you, but I don't know how to fight that woman if it is you.
We have been married 44 years. Do I wish it were different? Yes. Am I sorry? Yes...only because I didn't know how to explain it to her.
:brokenheart:
How to tell your SO that you want to venture out as a Cd
Since my then live in girlfriend found some pictures and stuff 12 years ago, I have been "out" Great except that for reasons I can't remember, she also assumed that I just did it at home and very rarely. I was about to correct that misimpression when she was diagnosed with cancer. Boom, life on hold and rightly so. Finally after several years and her in remission, I wrote her a note that explained why "Michelle" needed some friends and that if one side of me was unhappy, it was only a matter of time before all of me was miserable. I asked her to join me in some mild forays outside and that if she was not comfortable with that, then to allow me some freedom to join a support/social group 1 night a week. I explained that it would allow me to "vent" Michelle and that would be better for our relationship. Surprisingly she agreed right away. Seems she had done some research and found out that CDs are CDS forever and realized that I needed to be "Michelle" regularly. Over time, she has increased my allowence of "Michelle" time and seen how it helped our relationship. She still does not join me but has bought me clothes, discussed CDing with me and asked about the people I meet and know. We got married 4 years ago despite or because of Michelle and things are better than ever. Her cancer is in remission, we are very happy and she even kids me about my closets stuffed with clothes, shoes and various "Michelle" items. Moral: Don't sneak-you will get caught and the damage you do may be fatal to your relationship. Although my wife is not thrilled with "Michelle" all the time, she at least respects her for being honest and forthright. Not bad traits to build on!