Debating.....now or later. Pt II (updated)
A couple of months ago i came out to a potential love interest with unfavorable results.
Her initial feelings were of excitement and support and went down hill from there.
I told her of all the research, finding out all about myself on the forums and reading literature.
2 days later i find out she went ahead and told her entire family and they gave her their version.......straight from the wonderful world of daytime talk shows.
She told me that i went online cause i was confused about my sexuality and would eventually "go gay" (yeah, i kid you not) and change my sex. I explained everything carefully and she just could not see the person i was the first 2 weeks.
Because i could see some other isues with her, i ended it.
Fast forward to today. I began dating a gal i met on a internet dating site and she's a real sweetheart, and we've been seeing each other for a few weeks.
The writing is on the wall i'm afraid. She's made several comments about my appearance in general. So far she's brought up my plucked, shaped and lightly darkened eyebrows, the long, well kept, and lightly polished fingernails.
She also said that she once dated a guy who she found out was a, gasp....."crossdresser". She wasn't overly mean about it, just said she got tired of him wearing her clothes.
Last night she felt about on my upper arms and inside my shirt and commented on the lack of hair.
The vibe thus far is leaning towards unfavorable, and i've been honest and up front without giving away too much info.
Nothing in what she has said thus far leads me to believe she's making any assumptions about me, the comments about the cd in her past were definitely not made for my sake.
I did make a couple of comments about gender stereotyping in regards to other matters.
I said something to the effect that i don't follow a rigid belief in gender roles.
My plan being to allow the relationship to build, for her to see that i'm just a kind and considerate person, a good guy who is just well groomed, before full disclosure.
We have a long day together planned for tomorrow that includes some driving so there'll be plenty of time for conversation.
My debate is in going ahead and having 'the' talk. Or at least in laying it out that i like the way i look and it feels right to me, and that i hope she see's the need for people to feel good about themselves.
Or of course, i could just go right to the nitty gritty of it. Part of this holding off has been for her sake, she's had a pretty rough go of it in life and i'm not looking forward to what could happen.
Anywho, sorry for the long post.
Not really sure if i need advice good folks, i've been round the boards long enough to have read it all, but if you have something of interest to share then feel free.
Maybe i just needed to vent a wee bit.
Rough day turns into something good
Life just keeps getting too lifey for me. Seems the last 4 yrs of my life has been one thing after another.
Well our nice day out, up in the mountains ended badly.
We had a car accident but luckily we're both ok, and considering the narrow dangerous section of road, we were very lucky.
Anyways, enough about that.
We we're both kinda down until later in the evening at her house and one thing led to another and she insisted i stay the night.
The serious and traumatic events of the day must have been part of the mix but we moved past some areas that were bogging me down.
We spent the morning having coffee and clipping coupons. She slid a 3 bucks off Covergirl one over to me and asked if i'd use it. I assured her i would and she just grinned.
A while later she was redoing her nails (she does the Kiss glue-ons) and asked about mine, i told her what all i do and it lead to longer talk.
She started by asking me more about my brows, she assumed i just used the brow liner pencils, so when i told her that i plucked and shaped them she was surprised (i thought that odd cuz i get looks all the time from how thin they are for a guy).
She asked about what all kind of comments i've gotten...from family, or anyone.
She even went as far as to ask me to work on her brows, and maybe we'd do each others toes. I was expecting it to bring up the more obvious question, but it didn't.
Her accepting my more feminine grooming traits is great, but it is also nowhere near full disclosure and i wonder if she just can't fathom the idea of me crossdressing.
For now tho, i'm gonna stand by my decision to allow the relationship to grow, at least just a little longer.
And yeah, trust me good people i know that it can make things harder too.