Going out in femme and running into someone you know?

This happened to me about a year ago, I went out as amber to do a few errands witch is no biggie as I've done this before. But I went into the cigarette store to get cigarettes and a lottery ticket and low and behold a girl I had the biggest crush on in high school was working behind the counter. I brought up my stuff and wouldn't you know she carded me. Nervously I handed her my Id and she said I thought you looked firmilliar and I just smiled. She said you make a really cute girl and smiled and winked and gave me her number and told me to text her sometime. Hehe I couldn't even wait till I got home to text her.

This is always a chance we take. I have run into people I know on several occasions and as far as I know they didn’t recognize me. Not because I passed so well just because I didn’t give them a chance to really get a look at me.
My closest call was out shopping at Sears looking at cute tops when I heard a familiar voice and looked up and right across the rack from me about 3 feet looking me right in the face was a c-worker that I car pooled with 4 days a week. I stayed calm and went bent my head back down and continued looking at cloths and slowly moved away. She never really got a good close look at me. The way I see it is people have to process information. First thing is something is off here with this person, then this is a guy in a dress, then he looks familiar. This will take at least 5 to 10 seconds which sounds short but it really isn’t.
The key is to not panic as that will really get them interested in you. If you can break eye contact in that 5 to 10 seconds then they are relying on memory to try and figure out if they know you and from where. The next day I picked her up for our 30 minute drive to work and we talked about out days off including her shopping at the mall but she had no idea I was there.

Yeah I was really nervous when I seen her. I didn't know what to think. But after we talked I couldn't believe I was so scared. She told me I was really cute. We've hung out so much she's done my makeup, given me advice, We've went shopping and had numerous girls night's :-)

Ran into my landlord about a week after I started renting in full Renne mode. As he came around the corner, I just froze and did a quick 180, said "excuse me" and headed back into the house. I dashed to the bathroom to degirl myself, while not paying attention to his knocks on the front door. He eventually left but came back an hour later.

I was ready in drab mode by then, and nothing much was said about it. I think I may have said "my friend said you were here earlier", I said "but must have missed you as I was in the shower"... close call....

Renne.....

I've been amazed at how many people I've run into at odd places. I got on a flight that had 2 people who knew me when I worked for their company. I've been hailed in a mall a thousand miles from home. If you are closeted these things can be harrowing. In my case I don't try to pass but wear women's casual clothes (no dresses) openly including bras so people recognize me easily.

If you go out you have to assume you may be seen. Over the years I've been observed by several people who knew me. Never have had a real problem other than embarrassment either mine or theirs. I quit being embraced and today most people are embarrassed because they don't know how to handle it. Many will ignore it.

As for landlords today most don't care. About 50 years ago I was asked to move by my first landlady who I was renting a room from. She checked the room and my clothes were out. I rented another room from a different landlady. She figured it out and told me not to worry. She also did my wig and guided me about dressing. So you never know.

Have to say that after 10 years that hasn't happened to me yet.
The possibility is always there that I will see someone I know, but I think that short of producing my ID they wouldn't recognize me. The difference is so drastic and makeup certainly helps, plus people have a pre-conceived notion of what they see and I certainly wouldn't fit that framework.

Haha, dressing girly seems to work for you, Amber Lynn. Good for you.

Sometimes I think theres nothing you can do, except try to act like everythings normal.

I thought about this happening - I think my best strategy is to smile and act is if all is normal (I am approached first) second strategy I suppose is the lost bet

Yeah it definitely worked out for me. Lol

Yes, my landlord and landlady sat down in the row behind me at a music recital in a church, three seats to my left. This is the "low hover" landlord, the one who I found cleaning up a plumbing leak in the apartment one day when I got home from work. He found it before I did. They did not recognize me. I did not introduce myself.

I ran into a coworker with his wife in the local Macy's right before Christmas. They did not recognize me, either.

As a daring thing, I moved to a small town and went to garage sales en femme, then came back an hour later in drab to buy things, including a pair of black flats, that I liked en femme. Bought them from a different coworker's teenage daughter who attended the same church. None of the gave any indication that they recognized me. I do look different en femme, apparently. After that, I decided not to dress and be out and about in this small town. If I ever did get recognized, my wife would suffer no end of humiliation.

If your thing is a "dude in a dress", peope are going to recognize you, no question about it. If you make the effort to look like a GG and dress appropriately, you are far less likely to be recognized.

Normally, I would suggest not to smoke cigarettes. But this chain of events could turn one into a chain smoker!

I go out dressed en femme quite a bit, I always try to present myself as well as possible and hold good posture with a smile ,I have seen people I know but they seem not to recognise me , maybe its because the transformation is so complete ? but if I were to be approached and have to speak the maybe this would give me away . I would like to think I wouldn't be embarrassed and be proud of myself without causing embarrassment to others .

I ran into my Daughter and Son in law at a clothing store one time.
I was trying on shoes as my Daughter walked up the same aisle. We did make eye contact for a brief moment but I looked down and kept trying on shoes like nothing happened.
My guess is I look so much different in girl mode enough to where she didn't recognize me.

I limit my dressing to my house and backyard. My backyard is fairly secluded but anybody in the neighboring house to the north can violate my privacy if they want to. Several years ago a nosy neighbor noticed me. I did not realize it until I overheard a conservation when I was working on our mutual side yard. The entire family of losers would congregate on their patio waiting for me to appear en femme again. Of course, I ceased going outside until they moved. I'm sure they told some of my neighbors. So far none of them have changed how we interact. Fortunately, the losers moved because they could not pay the rent and utilities. They use to beg for loans from neighbors. None of them were employed and all in some way lived off the government teat. One of the things I have learned in life is acceptance is somewhat governed by social-economic positions in life. I was really irritated by their attempts to violate my privacy. I still am as you can see.

If you live in a small town like I do then you know everybody goes to a nearby city for shopping and entertainment -- and for a few of us, crossdressing outings. Since I'm not out at home, I typically avoid mainstream venues cuz it's extremely likely I will see any number of folks from home and if Sherri were to ever bump into someone at the mall or whatever the news would spread like wildfire and there would be no explaining it away. So I've stuck mainly to gay/lesbian environs and went years without incident, but I'll never forget the first time in a gay club looking up to see someone from home, and them seeing me. Made my heart jump, I can tell ya, but I didn't panic and the world didn't come to an end. Since then I've met quite a few home folks in such clubs, some I would have never suspected of being gay or comfortable in gay surroundings. As far as I know none of them have ever breathed a word of my secret back home. For one thing, gay/lesbians are used to being guarded about their sexual orientation and that of their friends (sort of a secret society) and watching each others' backs, and for another, if they wanted to out me, how would they explain their own presence at a gay club?

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Stephanie47

The entire family of losers would congregate on their patio waiting for me to appear en femme again. Of course, I ceased going outside until they moved. I'm sure they told some of my neighbors. So far none of them have changed how we interact. Fortunately, the losers moved because they could not pay the rent and utilities. They use to beg for loans from neighbors. None of them were employed and all in some way lived off the government teat. One of the things I have learned in life is acceptance is somewhat governed by social-economic positions in life. I was really irritated by their attempts to violate my privacy. I still am as you can see.

---

I know folks who have had that same problem. I found people who can be productive but choose not to be tend to be the most openly aggressive against trans people, and people who are different in general. If they had something else to do maybe they wouldn't spend so much time worrying about "trannies"... as the old saying goes, idle hands really are the devil's workshop.

being recognized is something I fear, not for myself but for my family(especially my wife)
for me the chains of being in the closet would be lifted but it would probably lead to
divorce as my wife would be humiliated, which I would never want to happen.