Rays of Hope

This thread is spurred by the National Geography expose the other evening, but is not about it in general.

As some of you know, I am in that funky area between DADT, and accepted dressing. My wife knows, she has seen and even more than humored me on a GNO. But she doesn't like it, and has given me the typical laundry list of reasons why. And she is a very guarded person, and because of her aversion to conflict, shuts down rather than discusses. Which is sadly ironic, because a healthy discussion would probably lead to more internal peace and less contention.

Also you may also know that my oldest has several times expressed that he believes he is Transgender. (Don't pronoun police me here).

Well my wife decided to record the show. Mostly to support our son. Like many parents she put her children before her self, and maybe because she feels that oneness with me, she puts them before me (or more correctly, us) as well.

Anyway, we watched the show. And had great discussion. I had to keep hitting pause and rewind. We did not discuss me, but rather what she was learning. She said that she learned a Lot. And as is her habit, she kept asking me questions. Sometimes she asks out loud in general, other times she does look to me for answers. I did answer a number of questions, and as importantly, the show answered many of them just a little bit after she asked them.

I have been hoping for a chance like this for a long time. A lot of what she learned, she would have not listened to if it came from me directly. But because she chose to learn, rather than have it "forced" on her, she opened her self up to it.

Now I have rays of hope. An opportunity to share myself a little more fully. I think that even if what I share with her doesn't go over well, she will be able to evaluate it on a less defensive posture.

Meghan, now I must see it, with my wife, if at all possible. We went to our first couples counseling, and she learned alot. Mostly about herself. The therapist pulled no punches on her, even going as far as pointing out some of my wife's masculine tendencies. Just as I have told her. The irony was great.

Can't wait to see the show.
Julie

That is tremendous news! Well done, and thanks for sharing! Hugs, Michelle

Looks as though things are looking up in your relationship, she's trying to learn and understand, sounds like a keeper, I hope your son finds his answer to his Transness,is that even a word? Wow just got an image of a father - son discussion about make-up and clothes and so forth. I just love happy news especially on a cold and snowy day thanks.

Wow Meghan that is good news. I'll keep my fingers crossed that things will now naturally fall into place for you and your whole family.

I'm glad she got some more insight in to what being trans is thats awesome for you and your Son.
I think hearing it from some one other than you is a key factor in your case.

That's amazing, Meghan! Some people just take a while to embrace and understand change and it's great that your wife got to see the show and see if from another view

Knowledge is the key... Great rays of hope!!

I'm very happy for you. Your wife's attitude appears to be softening, so there is indeed hope for all of us.

the Nat Geo show will be on again this Fri night at 9 pm eastern time hope that some of those who did not see it can watch it this time

Meghan,
I haven't seen the show but it sounds like the message was put over well without being too controversial . I hope they prove steps in the right direction.

I believe that writing it all down in an unbiased way has a similar effect, it shows we have thought it through and have taken the trouble to right it down in order to explain it better. I asked my counsellor to check it through before showing my wife but it did help when she finally read my summary. The important issue that came out was that I emphasised that I no longer worried who knew because whatever the think or say isn't going to change how I feel or what my inner needs are. I can't feel ashamed or guilty about something I can do nothing about. That was possibly the reason that she accepted the need to go out dressed and meet others socially .

Thank you all for the warm wishes.

It is an opportunity, not an end but more of a start. Like a fire, it needs to be nurtured. You can't starve it or just dump a load of wood on top. And it needs to breath.

Teresa, that letter is in formation. The time is close at hand. I need to do it right. And when it happens, I'll let you know.

Meghan,

A wonderful post. I wish you, your wife and your son every best wish.
I have long believed that shining the light of knowledge onto a situation is very helpful. Most of the general public have almost no understanding of transvestism and transgenderism, so some education can go a long way to dispel the ignorance.

Meghan, wow, that is really great news!! I am so very happy for you :)

Communication...when done right it works wonders.

Glad you shared! Sounds like things are going in the right direction! Best wishes for you, your wife and your son! Hugs all around Lana Mae

That is great news Megan. Yep when someone tries to learn that is when the light goes on.

That is wonderful news!! I cannot wait to check out NG's show. It sounds like they did a spectacular job of being informative. I will continue to send positive energy your way!!! ((hugs)) So happy to hear this!!

Meghan, that is such a great positive step forward for you, seems like the best way forward is for your wife to learn from outside sources, which hopefully leads to greater acceptance. So happy for you!!

It's wonderful to hear that you seem to be making progress, Meghan. Truly. Here's hoping that it continues.

Hugs,


Kelly

i'm sorry Meghan I really didn't understand what show you were talking about until I read the closed NAT GEO thread posted by ronda. I am really happy that new doors were open for you and your family. I will definitely try to watch this.