3rd session!

Third counseling session! I dressed for this one! I did my make up first! I selected my girdle as my padded girdle will not stay up! I chose my denim skirt and a sage colored floral top with my silver necklace and a silver bracelet! I wore my black wedges for the first time and took my black purse! It was nice to be dressed for a change(almost two months without!)! I misjudged the time and was a half hour early! I sat in the car until 10 minutes til and then walked into the waiting room! A young lady with a young boy left and they smiled and she said hi! She knew by the voice I was not female! She smiled anyway!
I took her a picture of my family which included my wife. She wished to see a picture of my wife because we had discussed her and that I was married to her for 34+ years without dressing! I showed her a picture from my MAC adventure and she said that I did my make up better! (Could have said to boost my confidence!) We discussed the thing with the necklaces-can wear the gold one in male mode and not the silver one! She is going to let me work this one out! She suggested fear but then said no, you came here dressed! It isn't fear of dressing! I am going to wear the gold one for awhile and see if further along I can substitute the silver one! Discussed the lose of interest and there I was dressed! We discussed the clothes and thrift stores and sales and getting bargains! We discussed forms and hip pads and how expensive! Fifty minutes just flies by!
I drove home still dressed! I went in the house and handed my daughter my MAC photo and asked her which make up looks the best and she said mine and she would be brutally honest if need be! She said I looked like an older lady! I asked her how old and she said older but younger than me because of the wig!
No pictures this time but maybe next!
Hugs Lana Mae

Sounds like it was a great time!

Bless your heart, Lana Mae.
You have angels looking over you on the first big steps of your journey.
Thanks for sharing.

Go you, sounds like a big confidence booster.

It is good that you have somebody that will be honest with you as the last thing you need is a "fully paid up yes man" as it were.

You've come a long way...now how far are you going?

Good for you! Sounds like the relationship with your daughter is coming along as well. It's interesting about the necklaces -- is one more ornate than the other? Or is it just the fact that one is silver and one is gold? I wonder why silver would be daunting for you? When I was flying under the radar, I always thought of silver as a more "manly" color -- it was gold I was self-conscious about wearing. Funny how we all have different answers. ;)

My goodness we are making some great headway with these sessions We are proud of you.:)

It sound like you had a good session and you were prepared. Wish you the best for future.

Hug, Rayleen

That is really good Lana Mae. So happy for you. Nice going.

Lana Mae,
That's a big step, going to a therapy session dressed. How did it feel for you? Did you learn anything? Any insights? Or was it just a time to talk?
Sounds like you were dressed well, but pictures would be nice.

I have NO idea what's going on with the necklace thing.

Hugs, Connie

Sherylyn-It was! It always go by so fast! Time flies when you are having fun!
Ilene-Angels all around! I wish I could send you some to help!
Thunderbird-A good boost of confidence! I don't want any yes men for sure! I want to get this right!
Laura-Probably just a social transition! Probably have to keep the male for the job but maybe not! We will have to see but that is a long way down the line although we discussed it briefly today!
Pat-The daughter thing is fab! I asked her how I looked before leaving! That is when she said I looked like someone but she could not think of who it was! Upon returning home, I asked her about the make up and she also said I did a better job!(My nose is shiny in the picture! LOL) Then she said I looked like an older woman! No reservations of dad dressed like a woman standing in front of her! The silver and gold thing is not totally resolved at this point! I don't know why the preference for the gold one! Unless it is the fact that the silver has three pendants instead of one! It is just strange!
Tracii-Yes and I am so glad I am!
Rayleen-Yes, preparation helps keep things organized but we still wander all over many subjects! It is all good though!
Thanks everyone for your comments!
Hugs Lana Mae

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Dana-I could not be happier!
Connie-It felt wonderful! As I said, I have not dressed in 2 months! From the skirt's end down to my shoe tops my legs were cold! LOL There was a nasty wind blowing when I got out of the car! Insights...well, yes sort of. I have a bunch, 4-5 ladies at the grocery store who feed my ego on my nails! They can't wait to see what color is next! I don't want to lose them but actually being trans may do that! A real fear! My daughter and my counselor said I looked nice! My counselor said lovely, but I think that was to boost my confidence! My daughter however would be painfully blunt if need be! I got the clothes off and then thought of pics! The necklace thing is on going and will wear the gold and try to slowly work in the silver!
Thanks for your comments!
Hugs Lana Mae

Lana Mae, I've been following your posts about going to the counselor. I am so proud of your progress! I also think it is nice of you to share with us because I am sure there are some here who find it motivating for their own journeys.

Keep up the great progress, and thanks for sharing with us.

Sami

Lana, I'm in the corner with Laura, in wondering have you set a goal on how far you might go with your journey ? I think the quality and leadership of your Counselor can shed insight on your destination.

Lana Mae, your post sounds more like an evening out with my T girl friends than any of my counseling appointments!:straightface:

I'm not trying to throw cold water on your experience, maybe I just don't understand? Why r u seeing her? If it's simply to get the courage to go out dressed? I think a week at DLV and/or WildSide would accomplish that!:battingeyelashes:

All my meetings involved deep, penetrating, questions the therapists had me ask myself! I don't recall even one appointment being "fun". :brolleyes:

A great daughter you have

Lana Mae,

Sounds like you're making significant progress.

Sherry has beaten me to the punch. From what you've written I wouldn't call her a counsellor it sounds more like a chat over coffee with a friend. I to was reminded of conversations I've had with other CD'ers at support groups.

I suspect in terms of understanding yourself you're much closer than you think. I am in truth left thinking that these sessions really just fulfil a need to simply talk to another human while presenting enfemme and being ourselves. If you can find a group to go to or even another CD'er to meet with, you'll gain as much satisfaction and insight. It'll be cheaper to!

It's hard to second-guess what goes on in a therapy appointment. Best to let Lana Mae make the value decision for herself.

There are times I just chitty-chat with my therapist which is the mental equivalent of drumming my fingers while I chew on some question she asked, or I'm trying to formulate something inside me into a question/statement for her. It's been almost two years now and honestly, every session has been "fun" for me. Because I know I'm moving forward and I know I want to be in the place I'm headed.

Lana,

Good progress. I am happy for you.

Sami-I see myself progressing also! I enjoy the sharing and will continue to do so!
Amy-I think I have already changed my destination one time since beginning therapy at least for now! How far I go will be based on my progress and what satisfies my needs! I originally said 24/7 but must consider that I must work to pay bills! Although the counselor said offhandedly, "Wouldn't it be nice to go to work dressed?" Now my job would make this easier since I am a nurse but I am not sure how my residents would take that so for now no!
Doc-I am going to ask her about those "deep, penetrating questions" next session! Next month I am going to Keystone 2018 so we will see!
Bridget-Yes, my counselor called her an angel!
Helen-Yes I am going to bring up the "deep penetrating questions" thing at my next session! There are no transgender/CD social groups near me! I have even thought about starting one myself! Maybe later this year! Who knows but for now I am being nurtured with my therapist and she provides cues and encouragement that I get from no one locally!
Pat-Very well stated, thank you!
Consuelo-Thanks!
Thanks everyone for your comments!
Hugs Lana Mae

So glad to hear that the counseling is going well. Is it producing the results you expected/hoped for?

Aunt Kelly-Yes it is good for me! I am getting the results I looked for and pushing the limits a little in male mode! I have to discuss where we are going with this and what I should do to get there! And some "deep, penetrating questions"! LOL Hugs Lana Mae

Sounds like an overall productive session my friend. :)

Lana, I'm happy for you that you found your session with your therapist validating and therapeutic, but maybe I'm missing something here from your description of the time you spent chatting with her.

I'm with doc on this one...this sounds like more like a session with a fashion stylist or an image consultant (not that there's anything wrong with that ;) ) than a bonafide therapist. If this lady is a trained, licensed professional with a degree(s?) in her field and you (or your insurance) are paying big bucks for her time, education, and expertise...are you really getting your money's worth here, or is she just "mailing it in" as they say?

Maybe you should separate the two experiences in future to make them more cost-effective...booking a separate appointment with a professional stylist for your fashion needs (yes, many do work with CD's, and I speak from personal experience here) and leave the heavy psychological lifting to the therapist, as that is what she is supposedly being paid for.

Doc-Please! Give me an example of a deep, penetrating question as she has not asked me anything that caused pain or was not fun! Thanks in advance! Hugs Lana Mae

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Kate-It has helped a lot!
Leslie-We discussed the reasons for my wearing of one necklace and why I don't seem able to wear the other in male mode! She is working toward a social transition as I do not at this time desire a physical one! She is looking towards female mode 24/7! I do not know yet if work will be a problem or not! I need that money to pay for my car and washer and dryer! Yes the sessions are very beneficial and no I do not tell those on the forum everything that is discussed!
Thanks for your comments!
Hugs Lana Mae

I agree in general with Doc about therapy being thought provoking and deep but mine aren't always like that and it may be your therapist using a different approach to finding answers to her questions. Glad to hear you wentthere dressed.