I have an urge to dress more

Lately I have had an urge to crossdress more. I don't know if it is the cooler weather, the time change, or the fact that what would have been my 44th wedding anniversary is next Friday. I have been wearing a bra and forms to bed as it helps me sleep better. Then I wear bra and forms most of the day hybrid dressing. Then the last couple of days I started wearing a bra while in full male mode. I don't know if it is because of the anxiety of going through my 2nd year of not having my wife on our anniversary or it's just that it's cooler and more fun to dress. I am not getting upset with the approaching anniversary like I did last year. So I have no idea what is driving it. My wife was always accepting of my dressing,so it isn't like I can now do it anytime I want. Because I was dressing regularly when she was alive. Mainly because she enjoyed it as much as I did. It was fun to dress up and see her reaction.

Hi Robin, It may be a combination of everything you mentioned. Your wife was good with you dressing and you miss her. Having a loss like that could be part of what is going on as you may be longing for her.
We also know our CDing does wax and wane for who knows why.
Good luck, I feel our dressing to whatever degree we do it is a good thing.

Robin, If my wife wife had passed I would miss her. She is my support system for dressing.

Hi Robin,

I'm sorry to read about loss of your wife. Who knows why you're having the urge to dress more. Just go with the flow and have fun.

Robin, I understand where you are with the approaching anniversary. Jan would be my 30th anniversary. My wife passed Jul of last year. I am so sorry for your loss. Dress as you feel is appropriate and know that your wife will be with you in spirit always.

I am so sorry for your loss 😔❤️

Ok, Robin. So, whatever is causing this feeling do u think it's a good or bad thing?:straightface:

Hi Robin :hugs:, What ever it is Just enjoy your Dressing, >Orchid**O:daydreaming:O**

Sorry for your loss. It must be a big adjustment. I agree with Crissy that it may be a lot of things that are feeding into that. Perhaps a way to honor your wife's support and acceptance. Maybe a sense that now your female-like characteristics can, so to speak, replace her in some way and provide comfort for you. Our brain does a lot of things to smooth out the roughness of a major loss and achieve a more peaceful state of being in a changed world. It takes some time to adjust to that loss, to reconcile the reality. It is good that for the most part it sounds like you are still you even though changed in some ways. Anniversaries of losses can be rough. Think good things about her and know that her influence lives on in you and the fact that you spent so many good years together is something to also celebrate as well as mourn.

Anxiety and your sadness can be a strong motivator for your increased CD'ing. From the comments, both of you seemed to enjoy your cd'ing past time. Dressing will help bring back all of these memories. I found with myself, as my libido decreased, my dressing desire increased. Maybe yours has too. Dress and enjoy those sweet memories.

Its totally understandable. Your cross dressing was something the two of you shared and enjoyed. That is a remarkable gift to a relationship and even two years after her passing, something that maintains that connection with her. It may also be that, like many of us, you are finding that as you have reach a certain stage in your life, you are increasingly inclined to live more of you life presenting as a woman. Whatever the reason, enjoy being yourself as much as life permits.

Robin, sorry for your loss. Life is continual ebbs and flows. Possibly the pink fog? Who knows. Go with it and enjoy yourself.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by docrobbysherry

Ok, Robin. So, whatever is causing this feeling do u think it's a good or bad thing?:straightface:

---

I believe its a good thing since dressing has been a part of my life since I was 13 or 14 . That was over 50 years now.

My wife is not supportive of my cross dressing, but she is not a raving lunatic about it either. If she were to pass I would miss her dearly. I believe what you're experiencing is normal. She was supportive of something most of society would frown upon; NIMBY at a minimum. I'd say it is a form of remembrance of shared time together.

Sounds like you have the ability to dress as much or as little as you like, go for it! I dont think its helpful to fully understand every thought, feeling, or emotion. Separate from loss I?ve always fluctuated with dressing to some degree, sometimes lots sometimes not much. Do what is positive, do what brings you joy, and heal at your pace. I wish you the best, you?re worth being well.

Anniversary dates can be hard. I know I mark down when important dates I shared with my late wife are coming up. To remember them, for sure, but also because I have been blindsided by them in the past. If dressing more during those periods helps you cope , then by all means, go ahead and dress.

Robin, what is the downside of you following your urge to dress more and just enjoy it?