Whoever is criticizing you probably needs to take a good look in the mirror themself. We usually see what we want to see, however. There is no wrong way to do it.:)
Whoever is criticizing you probably needs to take a good look in the mirror themself. We usually see what we want to see, however. There is no wrong way to do it.:)
I strongly believe, there is no right way to cross dress, nor is there a wrong way. You dress the way you want and forget the nonsense brought to you by others. One thing I have noticed about this forum is that others, like the general public, want everyone to conform to the way THEY do things, like their way is the right way. The only right way is to be true to yourself. period.
I have been a cross dresser as far back as I can remember. And have had a beard as far back as well. I shaved it off once. And think I looked a lot more rridiculous without the beard than I do in a dress. When I look in the mirror and see that beautiful woman looking back at me. It doesn't matter what others think. I know how I feel... :hugs:
Rejoice! You're cured. If I knew that growing a beard would make me "not a crossdresser" I would have done it long ago. I never wanted to belong to a cult with a bunch of rules. I just like to dress up in frilly clothes sometimes.
Mikell, I'm wearing a beard and stash in nearly every pic I post here. And, that's A LOT OF PICS! Someone said, "There r no rules". This is your hobby or life and no two of us walk the exact same path!
Have a beard and stash on here.
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I think most people have it right. It doesn't matter what you do, as long as you're happy and it doesn't hurt anyone else why not?
OMG, a beard and a skirt! At the same time? Really? Really. Who cares? As long as you are being the true you and you are comfortable with it, it is fine by me. Do your own thing. So what if you don't color within the lines in someone elses coloring book?
I love seeing how the overwhelming majority of the comments in this thread are on your side, Mikell! :)
A beard, a moustache,.. heck.. if you want to sport a mohawk B.A. Baracus style.. go for it! :D
Mikell you are so right we all have different ways we express this part of ourselves I mean thats really what this is an expression.
I know for me I like to dress just about everyday but rare is it I go all out with makup or wig I just love the clothes and how they look.
Now I dont go out dressed enfem without makeup and such but dress in my girly stuff at home but without a doubt Im a CD all the way.
Yes we should all respect each other for sure.
Leigh
Mikell,
No one can stop you wearing whatever clothes you choose and with a beard if you also choose to !
The comments you get especially if you are out are made out of utter confusion by the public and some members !
MM posted a while ago complaining about some bad reactions when out !
The problem is CDing confuses people enough, why does this guy want to wear a dress ? When you go out dressed but with a beard people don't know if you're taking CDing seriously or playing at being a guy in a dress ! They are too confused to know how to react !
MM chose to make the point in an aggressive way, it didn't make any difference to the confusion !
I guess it's also why some CDers also take exception to it, they have worked hard on their appearance and tried to pass in public and a guy in a dress with a beard comes along and muddies the waters for them ! The public just shakes their heads and calls us all weirdos !!
Looks like I didn't start crossdressing until I shaved off my moustache (which sometimes was a full-blown fu-Manchu). All those wasted years!
Okay I'm going to put in my 2 cents. I'm a guy. I have a mustache. In the colder weather I grow a goatee. I don't wear forms, a wig or makeup. My female wardrobe consists of yoga pants, leggings, tank tops, T's, jeans and panties. Am I a crossdresser? You bet I am! And proud of it! I go in public places "dressed." I am who I am. Not going out of my way to tell friends that I do. If they find out, good for them. My wife isn't keen on that idea but I don't go out of my way to broadcast myself. Bottom line is be you.
Funny thing is that crossdressing literally means the dressing, not the female illusion.
HI Mikell,
This is precisely why I don't like labels as everyone things they know how to pigeon hole people into them. We are people plain and simple . . . we just have different ways of expressing ourselves. :) So don't pay much attention to those naysayers who think they can fit us into a what constitutes a cross dresser or not . . . they just don't get it.
Hugs
Isha
mikell - Who cares about definitions? Who cares about arrogant or narrow-minded people?
Wear what you want. Feel good about it.
Bearded/bald/big/tall/short/tattooed/thin/heavy/beautiful/ugly..... We are who we are. Most of us accept all of us.
Glad you are a member of this forum.
I don't get the point you seem to be trying to make but if you are a "dude" and you wear a dress, you are a "dude in a dress" and a "crossdresser". If that floats your boat, fine, do it.
I do have trouble undestanding why a man would put on a dress, blouse and skirt, possibly women's heels and then venture out in public as "himself" with no attempt to appear female or at least disguise his face. People are going to view him as a freak or a nut case and of course he risks his job and reputation in the community (if he has one).
There was a post on this forum a while back where a member put on a skirt and panties but made no other attempt to look like a woman and went to a fast food restaurant and asked the young male worker if he wanted to see his (the dude in a dress) panties. To me, that's wrong. Really wrong. That could have been considered sexual harassment.
It's a free world (at least in the USA, don't try it in the middle east) so if you feel like going out and scaring the masses, go right ahead. Me, I'll do my best imitation of the woman I would have been if I had been born female. That's what floats my boat.
If a woman were to put on mens pants, mens shoes, and a mans shirt and go out in public, would she be viewed as a nutcase?
There are also men that just like to wear skirts while still appearing as a man. And yes, they are accepted in society. See the following link:
http://www.skirtcafe.org
There are also folks like myself that are "feminine men" that like to incorporate items from women's fashion such as capri pants, shoes, purses, nail polish and other items. It is called fashion freedom!
Not everyone needs to pass as a woman. I wish some of the folks here could get a grip on this simple concept and stop being so judgmental.
my point was the OP of that thread was relating a story of getting caught wearing the clothes, you instead decided to question his ability to crossdress correctly and how to deal with his SO about it, its a support site, i didnt want to hijack his thread and started this one, here in this thread your post applies and most dont agree with your opinion but it didnt deserve to be in the other thread, passing or not passing isnt the end game for all who venture here, most i assume are just relieved to find that they are not the only ones who do this weird thing we do, yes i think its weird but have come to embrace it since ive been here and feel normal when i visit.
i try to go daily to the intro section and welcome the folks that post there, i havnt checked but i may have welcomed you here. i remember how good it felt for people to genuinely greet a total stranger who was feeling very strange about themselves and always try to pay it forward.
like iv stated earlier some dont have the resources to "pull it off" some will never leave the comfort of the closet, some no matter how much they want cant "pull it off" and does not mean they very much desire to and are maybe envious of those who do so easily.
so my point of the thread was to show some compassion and understanding, less judgement, more support, more encouragement.
sometimes the duckling is ugly, doesnt mean it doesnt feel pain, doesnt mean it doesnt want to feel love.
like i said lets click on refresh.....
http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...8-whew-or-dang
I dunno. Technically, if you wear womens clothes, you're a crossdresser. If you wear womens clothes with a beard, you're one of the Budweiser boys!
That is true, Jenn. Yet the "female illusion", is so important to many of us. I count myself as one of the lucky "illusionists" that can succeed. Maybe not like u, out in public. But, at least I can make myself happy looking at Sherry in the mirror at home now. There was a time I couldn't even look in the mirror until I finished every last detail.
U r entitled to your opinion of course, Melanie. I dress bearded all the time. I am in this pic. Do u see a resemblance to them in it?
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For the record, I don't wear masks to cover my beard but to cover my wrinkled, old man face. Not having to shave is just a pleasant bonus!
I don't understand why anyone here would want to know why someone crossdresses with a beard, and criticize them.
Or those of use who crossdress and do not wear a wig, or makeup or breastforms or a dress.
Some of us may pass, or think they pass, or blend. Unfortunately, even if we do pass or blend - many people may think we are a freak or a nut case or a Budweiser boy no matter how good we look or what we wear. Will you ever really know or should you really care about what they think about you?
Even if we do pass or blend or follow all the "rules of crossdressing" that some of us apparently think we should, we still have the same risks of non-acceptance and work-place difficulties no matter how feminine we appear - because some people are narrow-minded and judgmental. It's our choice - how we dress and where we go and risks we are willing to take.
As long as someone is not dressing or behaving in a lewd manner, no one here should care or judge.
I work on the assumption that crossdressing is exactly what the words say -- wearing the clothes of the opposite sex. In 21st century western culture, I don't think a woman wearing trousers is crossdressing, but a bloke wearing lacy knickers or a bra or a dress definitely is (but I accept that different people/times/cultures may have different opinions.
Personally, I hate being a crossdresser. If there was some elixir that could make me all woman or all man, and make crossdressing go away, I would take it straight away.
But without that magic potion, I always found that having a full beard was a big help in suppressing my CDing.With a beard, I didn't have the courage to go out into the real world, so the Mel me was effectively under house-arrest.
Without a beard, Mel is able to get on with life in the real world -- not passing, but not making too much of an exhibition of myself.
I agree we should not judge. If the OP wants to go out with a beard and "stash" that is up to them.
I wouldn't but that is me. I know some call facial hair "fetish" dress, I don't like that term either.
Like Heather says, even if we think we pass, beard or not when read, we are subject to societies view of
us. Advancing the "cause" will not be affected either way.
Char
Like most guys, I tried different facial hair configurations starting at adolescence. Beard, mustache - still can't grow sideburns! I also started crossdressing about the same time. So I've seen myself in the mirror many times wearing women's clothing and sporting facial hair. I never liked the combination myself, but it would be hypocritical for me to say it's wrong since I've done it many times.
Since I'm from the '50s I still go with the old school definition of crossdresser or transvestite. That is, if one habitually wears even one article of clothing of the opposite sex, it's cross dressing.
Before I joined this board I noticed that most of the members were geared toward female emulation which is fine, but panties and a beard still = CD.
so i just wanted to thank all who replied and showed support for this, although i have grown a goatee the initial comment was not to me but i was trying to stick up for a sister in another thread, then the comment came here also, so thanks for having my back, we are a kind bunch for the most part...
found this on the web and wanted to share.....