Last night my wife asked me to wear a dress that is a favorite of ours but when i did i just felt ugly. I have no shape. No butt. No hips. Aparently have great legs though.anyone else ever think this way?
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Last night my wife asked me to wear a dress that is a favorite of ours but when i did i just felt ugly. I have no shape. No butt. No hips. Aparently have great legs though.anyone else ever think this way?
Yes, I have. I solved that problem by creating a female figure with a waist cincher, hip and butt pads and silicone breast forms. I rarely ever feel that way anymore. Would be worth the effort to help you feel better and enjoy the moment. Good luck.
The world likes pretty people. Do what it takes to get there. Even the process will lift your spirits and, when done, you will feel so much better.
A body can be worked on though, with all kinds of workouts or undergarments.
But nothing can be done about my ugly face :cry:
Queen,
A smile and a matching personality helps out a lot. That helps people get by the initial look.
Not surprisingly we are often our own worst critics. How many GG's feel they're not attractive, even ugly having bought into the fashion mags idea of what an attractive female should look like.
Part of our journey is learning to work with what we have, add what's missing, forms, padding, corsetry, wigs etc. and then do the best we can with what's left. I'll never be taken for an attractive middle aged GG when seen face to face. What I can achieve is the ability to pass through a crowd largely un-noticed and if noticed, not so that I scare the children!
Dresses are made to fit a womans body and you don't have one so what do you expect?
Hip and butt padding is needed if you want the dress to look nice.
Time to get your act together and make an effort and quit complaining.
I'm not being mean just honest lots of members here use padding of some sort.
@ P.S. I don't think I look all that great either but I try my best.
I dont think I'm pretty either, on an absolute scale. But what I am able to do is put together an outfit that works well on my particular shape, is age appropriate and tasteful. When dressed, I am confident that this is the best look possible for me and I am able to go out into the world and project that confidence. I have been told many times by random passers-by that they like my shoes, my legs, my dress, my outfit in general so it can't be a fluke or sarcasm and every time it happens, my confidence inches up another notch. In short, I own it, so people are buying it.
It is entirely possible that you are trying on dresses that are the wrong shape for you. God knows there's lots out there that are wrong for me! I suggest you go, alone, to a dress shop and ask for the help of a senior sales person. This person will have insights and ideas that your wife might not and will be an invaluable source of second opinions. You'll either find your wife was right all along, or you'll learn what is the right direction to go with your personal style. Either way, it shpuld help boost your confidence. Good luck!
The style of dress makes a difference to. I like Fit and Flares and find I do not need to wear padding with them, just my breast forms.
Genny B
Suzanne is right and just because you like the dress doesn't mean its the right dress for you as far as how its made and how it lays on your body.
There are lots of clothes I love but just don't look good on me so I have to work around that and find something that works.
It takes lots of effort to look good and there is not a one of us here that doesn't work hard on our presentation.
Ronnie: There are days when I can look at a picture of myself and be really happy with it :battingeyelashes:. Then on other days, I can look at the *same* picture and ask myself what I was even thinking :raisedeyebrow:.
I love the comment about the absolute scale :thumbsup:. On a scale of women, I know how I look does not move the needle, but still it gives me great relief internally that I'm more aligned with how I feel. I aim to look presentable as a CDer, and hopefully create some doubt about my real gender for 3 seconds - enough to walk past a member of the public who might take a glance.
I also agree with others that said you should take a look at shapewear / foundation garments. You might even want to layer four sets of foundation garments :thinking:. I have no idea who would do such a thing, but he sure would have to be crazy *cough* :whistling:.
- Lydianne.
There are days when I can look at a picture of myself and be really happy with it. Then on other days, I can look at the *same* picture and ask myself what I was even thinking.
What Lydianne said above. Totally happens to me as well.
I also agree with others that said you should take a look at shapewear / foundation garments. You might even want to layer four sets of foundation garments :thinking:. I have no idea who would do such a thing, but he sure would have to be crazy *cough* :whistling:.
Yeah... I can’t imagine someone crazy enough to do that. *cough, cough* (me, too)
You’d have to be a masochist or something. :D
Ever the contrarian, but also observant- take a look a women- there are plenty with broad shoulders and no hips, or flat, or whatever shape- so although there is something wonderful about prostheses kind of taking us out of our actual reality, I like just going with what fits and looks so good that people can't focus on my beard!
What happens is first they see a cool outfit, then 'man', then back to the outfit, and then if they are ok with crossdressing they just figure the beard is part of the 'man', so what the heck. I get lots of compliments on my legs, and my outfits! I really believe most people just accept the degree of mimicry that each CD is aspiring to, and is supportive or not.
Even shapewear can't help me so you think you have problems LOLOL.
Haha thanks Gaby. I hope i didnt cause offence with this topic. Just thought it was worth sharing.
FWIW, I have found that a nice bottle of wine makes me feel much prettier.
If looking good is THAT important to u? As it is to me? You'll do whatever it takes to look sexy.:heehee:
I'm 75, shapeless, with a face that stops clocks! :sad:
However, my avatar is how Sherry actually looks using every trick in the book!:battingeyelashes:
Phili,
I have immense respect for you and what you do. You do infinitely more than I do :notworthy:. Speaking just for myself now, I do not actually consider your views contrarian.. it's just that I have to address a slightly different need. I understand the fakeness of my padding, but I need massive hips and a huge behind - they fulfill a need that does not get fulfilled without them, and the knowledge that some women have narrow hips and a small behind is of limited comfort to me. Same deal with my face - I can accept that it's not real, but it makes me feel happy, while my real face does not :straightface:. Now, if I were granted being transformed into an actual woman in all ways except the hips and behind, that would comfort me :). I still think I would need the feminised face, though.
It never used to be this way. I used to be happy without any makeup or body sculpting :strugglin:.
Btw, Ronnie, I don't think your topic caused offence. I don't see how it would have :idontknow:. I hope you find a way to feel happier about your presentation. Just keep trying a variety of different approaches until you are happy :).
- Lydianne.
"I'm not pretty, and I'll never be pretty, but it doesn't matter. I have something much better. I have style." Iris Apfel
Love this quote :<3:
Are you a handsome guy? The brutal truth is that if you are not a handsome guy then is is very hard to be a pretty girl. Still, as others have said, it is easier to add a female figure where volume is missing than to reduce one that is too big.
Ronnie,
It's difficult to reply without any pictures but do we assume you were wearing makeup and a wig when youi tried the dress on . I hate doing it without but on occasions when trying something on in a shop you have to look beyond and think how it could look . I'm sure women have a similar problems sometimes , I know my wife hated clothes shopping unless she was in the mood , the times she came back dissapointed because she didn't see anything she liked basically because she wasn't in the mood .
Of course you need some padding---Its part of the CD thing. And also you need to take pictures--especially head shots. I never could get a "handle" on what I looked like dressed. Sure, I have mirrors, but something about them prevents us from seeing the "big picture". Perhaps it draws us to the flaws. It was not until I was Able to take some good photos of myself, and come back to them after a couple of days, until I was Finally able to see what my
'female self" looked like.------I certainly looked better than I thought I did.---No "raving beauty", but "attractive enough".---ANd with a few makeup adjustments, and MORE photos I was able to perfect my look. If you aren't "pretty"---also it might be your personal opinion ---Beauty is in the eye of the beholder---at least settle for "realistic"
At our Church's Womanless Beauty contest, a few years back, I discovered that even SOME of the most unlikeliest men made the best women---I walked right past one before the show and assumed he was one of the ladies helping out---Not pretty, as such, but VERY realistic.
My point is --take and use PICTURES.
I always wear hip pads, they make a big difference. Add on to that a long line girdle to calm my tummy.
I have been lucky having been blessed with a slight figure I can do most anything.
Being ugly is a state of mind, just work on what you have and keep saying......
"I feel pretty". :-)
You can easily fix your shape problem. All it takes is a bit of money to purchase padding or garments.Quote:
Originally Posted by Ronnie38
To answer your question no
Genny is right. My male figure is 42-38-40 ish. I enhance the bust. I do not wear butt pads nor cinch my waist. I'm also tall which makes it difficult to find a dress with a defined waistline which would actually fall at my waist. Most dresses are made for the average woman. At six foot I am not the average height for a woman. Most dresses are for five foot seven. Even tall sizes are for five foot nine.
My favorite dresses are empire waist which fit at the bust and accentuate the bust. They do not hug the waist. Many of my other dresses are wraps and sheaths. With summer arriving I have ankle length or midi length sun dresses which do flow.
As far as my masculine face, I stay away from mirrors except for the full length mirror. One just has to remember not every woman is what men would term "drop dead gorgeous". Not every guy is a 'hunk.'
Quote:
Originally Posted by Genny B
Ronnie -- perhaps you're focusing too much on the external and not enough on the internal. Focus on how you feel and not how you look. Focus on who you are and not who you wish to be. I am not pretty either. But I'm out there living a very happy life. I'm not a decoration for someone else's enjoyment, but people who look past my non-too-pretty exterior and interact with me seem to have a good time. You look the way you look -- everyone does. Don't focus on that. ;)
I am so glad this sight exists. You are all very supportive.
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Pat, thank you for your reply. Youre right in that i do need to look inward a bit more.
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Pat, thank you for your reply. Youre right in that i do need to look inward a bit more.
Learn to accept who you are and what you have to work with.
None of us look perfect truth be told so welcome to the not so pretty club you are in good company LOL.
Pat is right.
I have felt that way in the past but I try to turn it into a more positive thought. I like to work out and I spend time on the features that I think are my best. I think my legs and butt are decent however since I'm slim, I really don't have any hips. Being slim helps more than it hurts but focusing on the positive it much better than always looking at the negative.
I would never say I look pretty now at 60 but I find that hip pads and contouring makeup can make you look somewhat fem!
And a good wig!
Well Ronnie, without actually seeing you I just have to say that many woman are not pretty, but with the right hairdo, makeup and outfit many women are very attractive. It is not effortless for them any more than it is for us but it is do-able. You are new here and there is so much information and inspiration here from many beautiful people, inside and out. Stick around and I am sure you will read a story or see a girl here that inspires you in some way to start your journey. Everyone is beautiful in their own way and you are no exception.
I do not see myself as pretty when dressed, but do not really care. It is about how I feel. But I would die happy if my wife asked me to dress for her.
Dear Ronnie:
Pretty is mainly a mental feeling and attitude. A great makeover is a start. Nevertheless a really great dress will boost anyone's beauty factor. Ask for help at Kohls or any top department store. Add to that some really great earrings and jewelry. Add to that a really great expensive wig. Now drop by Payless shoes store for some terrific shoes. If you are wearing the best dress and shoes at an event--people will barely notice anything else. And do not forget some expensive perfume. It adds tons to your confidence.
Pretty I'll never be, but I'm happy with presentable. There are some dresses I'd love to wear, but some of them on me look horrible. It's a matter of finding your color and your style and what looks good on you.
I think I'm so-so on my make-up skills, but my brutally honest female friends think that I do a good job on my make-up. We are our own worst critics sometimes.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ronnie38
I often feel this way unless I spend lots of time picking the right outfits, makeup, corsets, pads, breast forms, butt enhancers, etc... Spending more time getting everything juuuuuuust right. So that I look.... semi passable... lol.
But take comfort in the fact that most of us aren’t just “plug and play”... we all need a certain level of preparation to get close to having the figure or look we desire. But also remember that even women do lots of things to get their desired look. There aren’t thousands of comedians out there telling jokes about how long it takes women to get ready for nothing!
However, I can sympathize... as one who does ALL of his girl shopping online only, I don’t have the ability to try things on before I buy... and there’s been COUNTLESS times when said item arrived and I couldn’t wait to put it on.. only to find that it didn't look anywhere close to as good on me, as it looked on the sexy, voluptuous, female model who wore it on the website.
I can’t believe how many times I buy a dress, chemise, corset, etc... that I love because it looks SO incredible on the woman in the picture! I’m sure many of us on here feel like that.
When I quickly just throw on some femme clothes and shoes and I don’t spend a lot of time getting ready, I try not to pose in front of a mirror for hours on end because I know I don’t look like the sexy female model in the picture no matter how badly I wish I did. If I do take all of that time though, I will pose and take pics for HOURS! Lol I’m not gonna spend all of that prep time getting ready just to waste it.
But even when I just throw something on, it’s nice to look down and see my legs with a pair of platform heels or thigh high boots on while I’m sitting in the couch watching TV... It’s nice to look down and see my huge breast forms sticking out proudly under a shiny, liquid-satin blouse... etc... so even if I haven’t spent hours getting ready, I still feel sexy, happy, and content!
If it's any consolation, Ronnie, many GG's also occasionally experience that kind of insecurity when it comes to their appearance.Quote:
Originally Posted by Ronnie38
It's usually called "a bad hair day", or "the wrong time of the month" when they feel bloated and unattractive. I have it on good authority that copious amounts of chocolate or ice cream usually help in dealing with those "down" days . ;)
I don't have that problem cause I am extremely pretty. Youtube banned my videos cause they say I was driving the men folk insane with my beauty. I been told I am similar to Medussa but without the snakes. Actually I don't know if I am pretty cause I am a Vampire and I can't see myself in mirror.
There is no such thing as ugly, everyone has qualities of beauty in them selves. Just live life as happy as possible.
We are all beautiful!!