just my luck..

so after finally figuring out i'm transgender I decided to find a support group and work though some of my problems. In brief = I know I will not be able to transition full time or have surgeries and have come to grips with that. My soon to be wife is supportive but has needs, but doesn't shun the female side of me, so we are at at the finding a good compromise point. This is why I still post in cross-dressing.

I finally find a support group in my area.. And find the day..yay Monday. I packed a small change of clothes for after work. The meeting was to start at 6:30. it was not to far from my job so I just hung around fixing things until 6:00. I leave work and drive to a store that has a bathroom. I changed into my jeans and t shirt, nothing special. My jeans are kind of tight so I though best to not change at the work place. I drive around for a while and finally get there I wait for another 15 mins before it was time.. but I never saw any cars in-front. Why because no one showed up but me.. not even the counselor. I don’t know why but I felt dumb standing there alone outside ..lol I'm going to try again next Monday.
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If you ever have an opportunity to attend the Southern Comfort Conference in Atlanta at some point in yor life, you will meet many friends who fall under the transgender umbrella in all aspects.

Don't you just hate that? Someone calls a meeting and that person doesn't even show up! That, unfortunately, is one of those things in life that happen for no apparent reason. Do keep trying. Make sure you contact the organizer before, and if no one else shows up, maybe you can make sure that she/he will and can at least spend some quality time with you and can help you out some. Sometimes it is not just the organization that helps, but rather the networking that can be done with others that leads to meeting the right people or person that can meet your needs.

My only other comment regarding who you are inside and the apparent, at least to me, very big compromise that you are going to make by deciding to live in that almost no man's (no pun intended) middle ground area, that may be harder than making the bigger and scarier decision. I think maybe you need to see a good gender therapist to help ensure that the decision that you make today is the best one for the future too. I have read too many times here about people who got into the wrong situation regarding how they live their life, or at least try to live it. You are not even married yet. Now is the time to invest some time and effort by getting some help together with your future wife to help ensure that your compromise is reasonable and doable. If you are wrong today both of you will suffer later on, including any eventual offspring.

Damn! That is so unfortunate. I found a wonderful group in my area and I've been having the time of my life for the last month! I wish you all the best in your search, keep trying. I know it has made a world of difference for me. My mother, counselor and co-workers have all noticed a difference in my attitude and demeanor since I found this group...and begun taking part in the activities.

Julie

Miranda,
I know how you feel.
What if you gave a party and nobody came.
It is disappointing.
One heads up are you thinking of HRT and considered how this may affect your sexual relations with your future wife?

Maybe consider starting a support group on your own? Its easy enough to start a page on Meetup.

Are you sure you didn't mistakenly go to the procrastinator support group meeting.

It's also good to have the number of a contact person for the group. They'll usually know what's going on. I have a good friend who has advised me before about meetings. Usually the meeting is packed!

Cheryl

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Originally Posted by Kelley

Are you sure you didn't mistakenly go to the procrastinator support group meeting.

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lol.. no sorry I'm at work and its been a crazy couple days. .. although I Hope it makes a difference with me to find a support group, maybe I wont be so gurmpy..;)

Quote:

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Originally Posted by NathalieX66

If you ever have an opportunity to attend the Southern Comfort Conference in Atlanta at some point in yor life, you will meet many friends who fall under the transgender umbrella in all aspects.

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Thanks Nathalie. I will definitely look into that.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by AllieSF

Don't you just hate that? Someone calls a meeting and that person doesn't even show up! That, unfortunately, is one of those things in life that happen for no apparent reason. Do keep trying. Make sure you contact the organizer before, and if no one else shows up, maybe you can make sure that she/he will and can at least spend some quality time with you and can help you out some. Sometimes it is not just the organization that helps, but rather the networking that can be done with others that leads to meeting the right people or person that can meet your needs.

My only other comment regarding who you are inside and the apparent, at least to me, very big compromise that you are going to make by deciding to live in that almost no man's (no pun intended) middle ground area, that may be harder than making the bigger and scarier decision. I think maybe you need to see a good gender therapist to help ensure that the decision that you make today is the best one for the future too. I have read too many times here about people who got into the wrong situation regarding how they live their life, or at least try to live it. You are not even married yet. Now is the time to invest some time and effort by getting some help together with your future wife to help ensure that your compromise is reasonable and doable. If you are wrong today both of you will suffer later on, including any eventual offspring.

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Yes, I agree, I'm trying to figure all this out I want to join this group and then see a gender therapist. My SO is completely aware of who I am I was honest with her. It's a tuff situation because I never married or felt like I connected with anyone on any kinda of level as I do with her..I have been alone all my life and I don't want to loose her. I would rather try to find a balance. I don't want to lose her transition and be alone again and miserable, but on the other hand I cant hide anymore... so i guess either way I'm shooting myself in the foot.. right, so if I have to id rather not hide who I am and still give her the masculinity she needs from time to time than the other.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Beverley Sims

Miranda,
I know how you feel.
What if you gave a party and nobody came.
It is disappointing.
One heads up are you thinking of HRT and considered how this may affect your sexual relations with your future wife?

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Yes, me and my SO have talked about transition and its pretty much a no go. We have been together for 3 years and she has 3 children "not mine by blood" but still.. they are my family and I would do "anything" to keep them. It makes things hard, but I feel like I would be cheating her is I transitioned. "I know that sounds nuts". although I want hrt more than anything..but keeping my family is my #1 priority. she doesn't mind me dressing up and all, she just doesn't want me to alter my body majorly. I keep the feelings pretty balanced on this by doing projects and staying busy.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Cheryl Ann Owens

It's also good to have the number of a contact person for the group. They'll usually know what's going on. I have a good friend who has advised me before about meetings. Usually the meeting is packed!

Cheryl

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Thanks for the tip Cheryl. I will do that!

Just realized I should be replying with Quote.. http://i1.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/...4/facepalm.jpg

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Originally Posted by mbridger

Maybe consider starting a support group on your own? Its easy enough to start a page on Meetup.

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Thanks for the tip. I have though about it and If this doesn't work out I may try that.

Something might have come up at the last minute and the spot they meet at was unavailable. Contact the person who organizes the group and see what happened; if they are a well established group, there is probably an explanation for what happened.

But far more pressing... Beverly is right, and I will be even more blunt about it... getting married to a GG knowing you are a transsexual is a very, very bad idea. Lots of people have been in your situation, and thought love could change them, but if you read the various stores here from those people you will find it usually does not work that way long term. You can remain with her, and always remain friends if the relationship doesn't work out, but creating a complicated entanglement like marriage knowing the odds are really against you is a bad idea. If you want to transition and go on HRT, and she doesn't want you to, you are both going to be very miserable.