Starting my new life today.my wife could no understand me so I had no choice but leave her and try to start a new life.27 years wasted.
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Starting my new life today.my wife could no understand me so I had no choice but leave her and try to start a new life.27 years wasted.
It's always sad when to people can't come to an agreement! I'm wishing you the best in your decision to start over! Hugs
Carroll, I'm sorry to hear you wife could not understand and accept you for who you are. But 27 years, can't have all been a waste, after all you figured out who you are and where you want to go, many spend a life time trying to figure that out, now get out and enjoy that new life! After all enjoying the rest of your life, is the best revenge!
Sometimes people are in our lives for a reason. One day that reason may no longer exist. Then it's a new day and forward motion. We can't change the past, only learn from it my friend.:)
Carrol, I know exactly how you feel. Twice I have had to stop CDing to save my 17 yr marriage. I am heading your way; I want to live my life as a woman so I will have to go it alone as my wife want no part in it. Naturally I feel that my own 17yrs (like your 27yrs) have been a waste of time; but remember that each and every decision in life you had taken up to know was based on knowledge, information and experience that you had to hand at that time. I wish you all the best in your new life.
I feel for you. I am in the same boat. I recently came out to my wife after 15 years and she can't accept it either. We have been existing together but she is looking for her own place. It hurts, so, again, I feel for you. I wish you all the luck.
This is really sad and my heart goes out to you and your wife. Please don't look on the past as 27 years wasted - remember the good times (there must have been many in 27 years). I hope the future is kind to both of you as you begin new lives.
Welcome to the forum Carroll. Also welcome to the freedom to do as you like when ever you like. Welcome to never having to explain yourself. Welcome to the world of CD girlfriends and amazing wardrobes. Welcome to being a little different, but better! Try to resist jumping right back into the fire with a new girlfriend. Take some time to get used to your new life. It may get lonely on occasion, but the freedom is more than worth it. It's not 27 years wasted, it's 27 years learning.
Since you say you are "starting today" does that mean the divorce is final, or just beginning? Can I get a ad in here for honesty at the very beginning instead of after 27 years?
thanks for all help I will try to make the best of every thing
Carroll,
Welcome to the forum.
I would not burn your bridges yet learn from others here and maybe some of those twenty seven years will not be wasted.
When people understand their situation things can be reasoned out.
I agree with that. However, my marriage is in trouble after almost 22 years. I told my wife about my cross-dressing before we were married; I don't think my CDing is the only (or even the main) reason we're in trouble, but it certainly doesn't help.Quote:
Originally Posted by celeste26
I am feeling pretty depressed right now. :(
I'm there with you, sort of. My wife know, disapproves, and is hostile. She hasn't threatened to leave me (well, except shortly after she found out).
dont think of it as wasted. think of it as a learning experience. for both sides, yours and hers.
Unless the SO enjoys your CDing it does put a strain on the relationship. Many SOs try to accept it but find it difficult. It adds to the baggage of relationships.
My wife has told me I can wear panties and pantyhose.everything else when she is not home.I think I can try.that.hate to throw all all years away.I still love her so much.thanks every body for the support.love all cds.
Carroll,
I am so sorry to read this. I know it wasnt an easy choice for either of you. I truly wish you the good fortune and better times ahead.
I hate to see you throw all those years away too. I'd bet there were many beautiful times! Maybe if she is allowing you to CD at a very limited level, maybe she loves you enough to keep the marriage together? I don't know. If this is what it has to be, and you both love each other and every other element of your marriage, then move on day by day. Above all show her your appreciation for her in many subtle and overt ways. Every marriage is worth saving! If not, well, then you both have to move on. But I don't think either of you wants to do that. This seems like her attempt to save the marriage because deep down she loves you. If it can progress to full acceptance, let her steer it in that direction. More than anything else, you have friends here wishing it turns out to be the best!
Cheryl Ann
ok...i am going to get warned most likely now...but i'm sorry...this has to be said imo....
27 years wasted...your wife does not have to approve, she does not have to accept, if she doenst ... she doesnt. How dare you say that your years together are wasted...because she doesnt approve? So the acceptance of dressing is what makes it worth while? How selfish can you be?
Hiya Carroll, and welcome. I personally don't believe time is ever wasted, if we learn from our experiences.
Certainly little room for regret, as we can't go back and do it again..
Perhaps in time, she may understand/accept more too.
I hope your time here is of great encouragement to you.
Carroll, you have my sympathies, you sound like you are hurting. It sounds like your wife is too. We could offer better advice if you told us more of your story, how your wife found out, what she's said, how much you dress and for how long. Details matter.
When you hit a struggle like this in a marriage, and it feels like "the end" it is easy to be sad and feel you've wasted your life. I hope that there were some positives - good years, maybe good kids, lots of stuff that makes it not a waste. If it ends, sure that is sad, and hard, and feeling some bitterness is natural. But I hope you can reflect on the good parts. Perhaps if you and your wife do that, you'll find a way through your current storm and stay together.
Best of luck!
My first wife(the second isn't even worth mentioning)left me after 18 years.Not because of dressing,but another major part of who I am that she couldn't accept.Not all of those years were good,but I never considered a minute of it a waste.No matter what else is going on in your life,you don't make it 27 years if there isn't a strong foundation there worth working at.
I'm sorry to hear things haven't worked out well. Throwing away your marriage is a huge decision please don't give up on it.
Carrol I know your pain ,I too am starting a new life after 26 years, most of it I would have to say was not pleasant but I will never say it was a waste. I/we have 3 great kids they all know about my "hobby" and have no issues. I wish you luck and hope all works out well for you in the future. Remember making it work out well is totally in your control.
Carroll - Sorry to read about your pain. Seems like you have some decisions to make if you and your wife still love each other. If you both love each other, seems like your 27 years was not wasted, even if you are having difficulties.
Maybe a good therapist would help you both. Good luck.