Being a woman, with full male rights?
Hi,
I feel caught on the horns of a dilemma. I love dressing in women's clothes, thinking in ways that more resemble those of women, and shaping my body to more closely resemble that of a woman. Even though I was wearing women's underclothes, pants, and shoes all day today, I couldn't wait to get home and get my girls into something a little more supportive and built for their shape. :GD:!
I've been using herbs for the past 4 months to help feminize my body, after finally coming to accept that this girlie part of me is worthy of love and respect, and permission to exist. That acceptance has been such a relief and release! Yay! I've given myself much greater freedom to buy and keep clothes, as well as start this movement toward feminization of my body.
Here's my dilemma. I love how my changing body feels. The slightly wider hips, bigger butt, shapelier legs, and OMG I've got Breasts!!!!! It's my lifelong dream coming true!!! I enjoy the changed emotional state I've been in, partly hormonal, and largely due to the greater freedom to be ME. I would love to continue moving this direction, but am concerned about acceptance by others. My boobs have already received comment from a co-worker who asked if I've been working out (and I was even wearing an undergarment with slight compression that day).
I enjoy the rights and privileges that come with being a man, and am sexually attracted exclusively to women. I want to continue sharing and growing in my professional relationships and personal friendships that have taken a lifetime to develop (I turn 50 next month), but I also want to bring more of this previously-shame-filled-now-seen-as-beautiful, life-affirming, joy-filled part of myself into greater personal and public expression.
I'd sure love to hear how you girls have handled it. Any tips or suggestions? Questions to ask myself or others? And yes, I am in therapy with a wonderfully understanding and insightful therapist. Working with her has helped me get this far. Now I'm hoping to hear more from you.
Thanks for listening.
makin' it real
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“The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift.” ~Albert Einstein
Herbs, nah. Not gonna bite... yet.
Well, I guess I'm not really askin you to believe, nor am I sellin anything. I've been reading the posts here for a couple 3 months and was initially quite taken aback by the lashings doled out upon those who ask about or comment favorably on herbals. I see some of that is still here, so I'm not particularly interested in engaging in that discussion. Yet.
That said, I also very much appreciate the efforts to keep people from blowing smoke up other people's skirts. Truly, it is important to separate the wheat from the chaff, and there is so very much chaff out there.
What I am interested in is starting to talk with you all, and getting to know you. And getting to be known by you. I've been reading the board regularly because the things you talk about are things that matter to me too. So thank you. I'm tickled that so many of you have responded already. I've enjoyed reading your posts, and, while I'm a little scared to start putting myself out there like this, even with the ostensibly anonymous nature of the internets, I'm also looking forward to it.
I've never before taken part in chat rooms or discussion boards, so I don't know some of the protocols, or whether this next comment might seem odd. I know it seems a bit odd to me that I've read so many of your stories even though we haven't yet "talked." I just want to let you know how much I appreciate you being here and sharing. I regularly see lots of people signed in to the forums, but only 20 or so posting very much, so that tells me lots of others also appreciate this site being available, even if they don't say much.
Yeah, Lainie, you nailed it. Yes, by male rights I do mean things like the assumption of competence. I work with quite a few highly competent women, and it's still quite clear there's a gender divide in which men earn respect far more easily than do women. Sad but true, and in many areas of life, not just work.
I'm pretty darn clear I don't want to transition. At least, it seems pretty darn clear to me now, but then what do I know. I couldn't have predicted my current situation even a year ago.:rose: I do know I want to express my female side more freely and fully than I've ever let myself before.
Like many of you, I spent years feeling shame and guilt, and self-loathing for this "twisted" part of me. I called it bad names, knew I was sick, and purged regularly. (See! I didn't even know that word use until I started reading here. It fits perfectly!) I can't do that to myself anymore. I know this part of me is here to stay, and I'm honoring it even by saying this here, right now. I like me, and I like this part of me. (Okay. Anyone wanna chime in with the full Stuart Smalley? :tongueout)
I like the term blending I've seen used here. That's the one that seems the best fit for where I am now. As Gabi (love your avatar, such a cutie) and Amanda (you look beautiful in your ID picture here) make clear, the path to transition is filled with all kinds of challenges that I know I'm not ready to take on. Much as I think I'd love to be a woman, I think the full deal is still just too foreign to me. I'm much more comfortable with maintaining my male identity while integrating as many of my female characteristics, physical, mental, and emotional, as possible.
Suzanne, thanks for your heartful response. You're right, of course. I'm only just learning, finally, how to be a decent person as a man, and I don't want to give up those relationships that are now starting to blossom. And thanks, tina, for chiming in as well. Your story has been an inspiration for me. I love the grace and openness with which you seem to be embracing this newly-discovered side to yourself. Karen and Tamara, thanks for keeping things real, and I look forward to talking with you more, hopefully about all kinds of things, not just the one topic you have to do the most policing on :love:.
Karren, what can I say, but :yrtw: :worship:
Love your humor, and ache with your heartbreaks too.
Blessings to you all, and thanks for welcoming me aboard.
makin' it real (I may have to come up with another name here, eh? This one seems a bit long.)
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“The intuitive mind is a sacred gift and the rational mind is a faithful servant. We have created a society that honors the servant and has forgotten the gift.” ~Albert Einstein
Having your Cake and Eating it too
I personally don't see way you can't have your cake and eat it too. I honestly think that I have pretty much achieved this. I get to dress about as much as I want too and wear what ever is comfortable at the time. I work as a male and enjoy what I do and then present as female when ever I want too. Which almost daily. I always underdress as I don't even own any male undies I always wear hose of some sort. Most of the jeans I wear are womens jeans. Which is what I wear to work. When at home I will most times wear a skirt or a pair or shorts sometimes with a tank or Tee doesn't really matter to me if the top is male or female because I mix them all the time just like a lot of the GG's do.
When I go out dressed or casual as a female or male it doesn't really matter. usually the only way to tell the difference is if I have in forms and a wig.