Old classmates

So I'm at the grocery store after work today. I spot a woman looking at the deli meats. She turns back towards me and I get a clearer look at her face. It turns out it was an old classmate of mine. I've been out of school almost 25 years now and have not been to any reunions. I sat next to this girl in several classes because our last names are close alphabetically. So we often chatted but were never close. Obviously she didn't recognize me. Would you have stopped and talked to her if you were in my situation? It goes without saying too that I would end up outing myself to her.

In a related question, I had a close friend in high school who I kept in touch with for a while after but fell out of touch with him 6 or 7 years ago. There is still a fair chance that I could run into him at a local 5-k since both of us are still avid runners (we were on the track and cross country teams together). How would you handle such a situation if it were to occur?

No reason not to tell or have told either of them who you are and who they last knew you as..Perhaps they are accepting and perhaps they would be including..Never hurts to find out!

I wouldn't try to talk. I really didn't get along with many then.

if You havent talked to them in 25 years.. why out yourself to someone that odviously Dont give a sh%# about you??????

Human connections are important enough to our lives that I don't see the point in avoiding someone just in case it turns out to be awkward. I attended my 25th reunion just a few years ago and had a wonderful time. I have far more friends from that class now than I did back in the day, and have had a number of former classmates confide in me regarding their own life challenges because I opened up to them. Of course I'm not trying to live a stealth existence so YMMV. I spent 40 years worrying about who could tell I was hiding something, and I promised myself I wouldn't wind up in the same situation again post-transition.

Its always tricky when you run into people that you haven't seen for years and want to say hi. You never know how they will react after see you and realizing who you are. Especially if they remember you a certain way, so it will be a shock to the system. So it is matter of how comfortable you are in putting yourself to someone you haven't seen for a long time. You never know you may find you have an ally and a new best friend. What would you do/handle it if the person reacts in a negative way?

Some of the best support I have received has been from high school classmates from 36 years ago (ouch). Look at it this way. If you don't talk with her, she won't be a supporting friend. If you talk with her, she might be a supporting friend or she might want things to go right back to where you don't talk. The only positive is in talking with her. The ole nothing to lose situation.

While not exactly the same situation, I had been asked if I was going to attend a class get together. It was when we all turned 55 and in the middle of the traditional 10 year class reunion. The person asking was someone I knew well while in school and this happened just as I was going full time. He responded that they would love to have me come, so I went.

Many of them didn't remember me, of course and the only way I could let them know was to tell them. It was a small group of maybe 15 or 20 out of a class of 500. It was wonderful even though I was scared to death.

Then 5 years later, repeat except there was a much larger number of people. They were worried I would be upset they had my class pictures (young male guy) rather than my female self. My response to them was, "How will anyone know who I am if they can't see what I use to look like?". Aside from a tense moment with one guy, and one woman that was just skeptical it was nothing short of amazing! I felt so comfortable with all the women and fit right in. They accepted me without a second thought and we all had a great time!

So from my experience why not tell? what do you have to lose?

Veronica

I have had that happen quite a few times and I have always kept my mouth shut.

Not to long ago I went out of town and stopped at an Arbey's off the highway. The guy standing next to me waiting for his order was one of my best friends up till about 5 years ago. He did not recognize me and I could not bring myself to talk to him. He knows I transitioned but lives in another town so he has not had to deal with the reality of what I have done.

And I run into old classmates frequently who don't seem to recognize me but I never want to say anything if they don't.

I don't like explaining or dealing with it, and I get afraid still too of how people will react. Easier to just let things be and get on with my new life.

Hi Cheyenne, I think that the two situations you describe are fairly different.

In the case if the woman from 25 years ago, you were never close and haven't spoken in 25 years. In your place I would not have made a point of talking to her and even if we had fallen into conversation in the shop, I would not have introduced the past into the conversation.

For the guy you used to run with, my suggestion would be to see what happens. If he comes up to you and seems friendly, then be prepared (but don't rush) to let him know of your past friendship. If he then enquires further and it seems right, then you could consider telling him about your transition.

Hi,

Yes i have and made it known those at school at our reuion 3 years ago and before that through our school friends forum so its there concerning myself and when we had our get together 7 of us in our class so i met them and carried on as though nothing had happened in 57 years,

they knew me as well and no issues and i have photos i took of us and with one of two of us together. i did most of the photography for us and for our school records,

Allso we have over a 1, 597, 741 members and any one from them will know me. as my info is open ,

...noeleena...

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Originally Posted by Billiejosehine

Its always tricky when you run into people that you haven't seen for years and want to say hi. You never know you may find you have an ally and a new best friend. What would you do/handle it if the person reacts in a negative way?

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Look them in the eyes,smile and walk away when the time is right. Your life is your own.You don't NEED their approval to continue living!

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Rogina B

Look them in the eyes,smile and walk away when the time is right. Your life is your own.You don't NEED their approval to continue living!

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Super good!

We really need a "Like" button!

Hugs,
Persephone.