I can't believe what I just did tonight!

I outed myself to my father! Yup! just like that! We had a long discussion about it. I started by telling him that I've been keeping a secret from everyone for as long as I can remember, at which point I said "...remember when I used to rub women's stockinged legs and took mom's pantyhose? Well, my liking it never went away. In fact it progressed to outright dressing as a woman..."
I told him that I don't know exactly why I'm compelled to dress up. He said "No big deal, don't beat yourself up over it, you are still the same man I knew five minutes ago."
I asked him if he was ever suspicious, he said "...honestly no." He is surprised, and needs time to digest it but said he wants to help me accept it for what it is and stop treating it like a big deal.
I feel so much better knowing he knows and is cool with it.
I honestly have to say that reading the posts on this forum helped me get the courage to accept my dressing and to not be afraid to take my softer side by the horns. I cannot let my secret run me into the ground!

Thanks to all!
Ginger

Congratulations for the big step. Sometimes we need to act on impulse versus a planned out attack. I really like your dad's approach to it all. Don't make it a big deal!

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Originally Posted by AllieSF

Don't make it a big deal!

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I been saying that since I got here.

Good for you. I know that some girl here have told me that I helped them so much with my stories that if it were not for me they would have never ...... what ever. That's the great thing about this site that it shows all of us we are not alone. And that's huge.

Wow!!! what an aw some response for your father to have. I am so happy for you. Whilst reading your post I read this.

[QUOTE=GingerLeigh;2076508]"...remember when I used to rub women's stockinged legs and took mom's pantyhose?


It is kind of funny `cause I used to do the exact same thing as a child. Still to this day I have a huge attraction to stockings and hose.

While I'm happy for you, I don't think that's something I would want to do. My dad's far from liberal, and to be honest, he's slowly loosing his facilities... And I think loading this on to his already over burdened truck would not be fair on him, or on my mum who has to look after him. I very much doubt he would reall understand anyway.

I think maybe I'd have done it years ago if I'd had the guts, but no... I was too far back in the closet then.

No regrets, but well done you.

Pleased for you that you got the courage to tell him Want rub some that courage on me.

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Originally Posted by Jayme

While I'm happy for you, I don't think that's something I would want to do. My dad's far from liberal, and to be honest, he's slowly loosing his facilities... And I think loading this on to his already over burdened truck would not be fair on him, or on my mum who has to look after him. I very much doubt he would reall understand anyway.

I think maybe I'd have done it years ago if I'd had the guts, but no... I was too far back in the closet then.

No regrets, but well done you.

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Jayme,
I'm so sorry. It's tough when your parents begin to lose their "facilities". I too should have told him much sooner, but as a child, he teased me when my mom caught me with her nylons (I was 3 or 4, and they dismissed it as a feeling thing) saying Santa was going to bring me some for Christmas (sadly he never did). This humiliation kept me firmly locked in the closet for well... 35 years?
Fortunately for me my father isn't so old that he's lost it. We've always had a close relationship, but I never thought he was quite so liberal minded that I could ever reveal this side of me to him. He's a Canadian, but very much English in his values (his dad was from Northumberland).
As for loading him down with my crossdressing, I thought about that. He's my father, he helped bring me into this world. I have the right to let him know what's going on in my life if I wish. He was actually thankful that I told him something so personal and well... embarrasing! He told me it's not my fault and that I have nothing to be ashamed of.
Letting him know has actually been very theraputic for me. Since last night I've been on a cloud! I can't quite explain it but it is like a very large boulder has been taken off of me, and I can breathe! I feel as though if my father can accept it, why can't I? I'm soooo happy! I think I'm well on my way to self acceptance. The self lothing is slowly slipping away..........bye-bye!
I cannot tell you to tell your parents, I cannot tell you to tell anyone. It's about your comfort level. Not telling them hurts you more than it hurts them. I haven't told my wife, and I think telling her hurts her more than it would me, so I'll have to think long and hard about revealing myself to her.

Thanks for your reply!

Ginger

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Originally Posted by Nylon Zoe

Pleased for you that you got the courage to tell him Want rub some that courage on me.

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Sorry, but where that courage needs to be rubbed, I ain't going anywhere near! I'm not that kind of girl!:o

Ginger

Ginger, thanks for sharing. How wonderful to read this. Positive coming out stories definitely give me hope. You should be proud of yourself for being brave enough to come out (regardless of the outcome, but glad that it was good). I'm happy for you. So nice to read about a loving, accepting father. Cherish that. Not everyone has one. Blessings.

Ginger, you done good!

Your Father must be a great guy. I could not have told my Dad simply because he could not have comprehended the concept. You are very fortunate.

My father has passed on, my mom and him devoiced back when I was in high school, mom and my step dad are in there 80's so I don't see me weighing them down with this, my mother was such a tomboy that I really doubt she would have taken it very well, the fact that her son, wanted to be her daughter and they live down in Texas, so not much chance of them finding out, my stumbling block is my son, how do I tell him, that his over the top, testosterone charged, hunting and fishing, and 4x4truck driving, football, basketball, baseball, watching father, wears a bra and Lacey thong undies, and loves makeup, and high heels, I've thought this over and over a hundred times, he just about came unglued when I got my ears pierced, he was the only one of every one I know that ever said a word, even my mother just let it pass, sooner or later hes going to find out, I'm at a dead end when it comes to him, I don't know how I can let him down

Ginger

That is so sweet of your dad. Give him a big ( manly) hug!!

Jennifer, being yourself isn't letting anyone down. If someone has a problem with you, it's their problem, not yours. No matter how your son reacts, it's his reaction, not yours. And his reaction doesn't make you any more or less lovable and worthy than you are right now. Love yourself no matter what. You can't control how he'll react and it's your not responsibility to. What you can control is how you choose to feel about yourself and what you choose to believe about yourself.

Zoe, I know you have seen the Wizard of Oz. Don't nobody need to give you their courage, Dorothy. You just click those ruby heels together, girl, because you've had the power (and courage) inside you all along. Seriously, if coming out is on your heart, something that you want, it will happen. I believe that. Believe in yourself. Love, Glenda. :-)

Ginger, you've got a great dad.

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Originally Posted by Kate17

... That is so sweet of your dad. Give him a big ( manly) hug!!

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Yep, and tell your Dad you love him. :hugs:

Its nice to hear it went well with your dad.Also good to hear you are accepting yourself.I havnt mentioned anything to family yet.Figured I'd get into it once they start asking questions.I seen to slip more and more into myself so its only a matter of time..

That is a great story kind of made my afternoon. My dad and I did not have a great relationship. He was never really accepting of me at all. He knew about my dressing or at least one time he did and got very embarrassed over it. I had grown my hair very long in high school. It was my senior year and I decided to get my ear pierced as well. It was just before Christmas when I came home with my ear done. In true form he threw an absolute fit. He had already told my mom I was a girl because of my hair, and this just put him over the edge. He told me then if I wanted to look like a girl I should dress like one. My only Christmas gift that year was a pair of pantyhose. A big mistake on his part. So for New Years Eve I decided to call him out on that. I came to dinner with the entire family and other uncles and aunts in full fem attire. Wig, the pantyhose he gave me, bra, dress, makeup (which my sister helped me with) heels, the whole nine. The whole family got a huge kick out of it. He fumed and did not speak to me for a while after that.

Did not mean to steal the impact of your story and how great it is to have accepting parents or how difficult it is to share that with them, it just dawned on me the two different poles that mine and your fathers were/are at. I am so happy for you!

[SIZE="3"]My father has seen Michelle, and he got a good laugh out of it.... But I have not let him in on the actual extent of my girliness. Heck, I even have pictures of me - in one of my black floral print dresses - in frames on my desktop ![/SIZE]

My dad was truly a great man, great at his job, great provider, great husband, father, and friend. But I knew he would never accept my crossdressing, so I never told him. When I was about 6-8 years old, I got caught playing with mom's lipstick. He held me down and put it on me, saying humiliating things like "there, don't you look pretty". Aversion therapy, I guess. Of course, I did the obligitory crying all through it. Fortunate for you to have an accepting dad.
p.s. I've hardly touched lipstick since then. Well, some maybe.....

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Originally Posted by NicoleScott

When I was about 6-8 years old, I got caught playing with mom's lipstick. He held me down and put it on me, saying humiliating things like "there, don't you look pretty". Aversion therapy, I guess. Of course, I did the obligitory crying all through it. .....

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I think if that happened to me I think I would not have done any crying I think I would have said thanks dad not I need a dress. Cuz back then I knew since I was 4 and about that age wanted to have something like that to happen. I think.... I would have but you never know......

Now go on ad put on some lipstick .

His reaction "you're the same man I knew five minutes ago" is my answer to whoever I might tell.. if they didn't know and are totally shocked, hey I'm basically the same person I was a few minutes ago but now you know my secret... and this secret has been with me longer than I have had my little brother around.. maybe not as huge back in the day, I mean I would wear pantyhose, sure but never dressed the way I would eventually dress... it's all the same though..

Congratulations Ginger ! :D you must feel great now. That burden's finally off your chest. Think he'd be okay with you walking around the house all dressed up now ?

Thanks
Well, I suppose he wouldn't really care since I haven't lived in his house for over twenty years! My wife might get a real shock though if I were to walk around our house as Ginger! eeeeeek!

Congratulations for coming out my dad was the same way but I didn't tell him he found my stuff and was totally cool about it