Desire to go outside for the first time

Hello,

I've never been outside as a girl.
But for some time now, i feel intensively the need to go in a place like a crowded shopping mall dressed as a girl. That sound crazy right :daydreaming:
The question to myself should be "am i ready ?"
And the answer is "almost".
I don't have my complete outfit ready, so i can't do it right now.
I miss shoes or boots (i don't have any) and still missing some piece of clothes that i really want to buy.
But i still thought about this, and here's what i have in mind now:

I plan to buy the main things that i miss to have a complete appearance that satisfied me, the things that i really want. It's gonna take a while before i can get everything of these clothes (unfortunately, Because i wish i could do it right now lol).
Of course i will try the complete outfit and makeup a couple of time, to get used to it.
Then, i plan to go "as a man" into a different city (i already choose the place, and i know that my friends and family will not be there), i will bring with me all my feminine clothes and makeup.
Once my arrival in the other city, i will go in a restroom to change myself and put makeup. I will do some shopping dressed as a girl during that day. Then, i will return to the restroom to change myself back as a man before returning in my city.

I want so much to do it right now, to finally be feminine outside, to feel free to live completely this part of me, to live this experience.
I'm not really afraid of what people will think, cause i don't know them anyway, however it would be different in my city because of the people who know me, for this reason i wouldn't be able to do this in my city.
What do you think of this idea that i plan to do ? Have you ever tried to do it in a different city ? in a crowded place ? Did you tried the crowded place for your first time outside, like to immerse yourself completely in this experience ?

Another thing i want to talk about. I'm just not sure if this is in the appropriate section of the forum, but i think it is, if not i'm sorry for a possible mistake;
I plan to buy my first feminine shoes or boots (i have never been outside so i never bought a pair). Buying clothes online is usually easy, i just took my measures.
But it's seem more complicated with shoes/boots. I have seen some nice pair, but some of them have "thick shoe sole", it's beautiful but i'm concerned as i'm already tall; about 1,80m (or 5'11) and i'm afraid to look as a giant girl if i take these shoes/boots, so maybe i should go with the flat shoes/boots ?

Also, the size is more difficult with shoes/boots than it is for a skirt, i heard you have to pick 2 size higher than your man size. But i can't confirm this information.
I think i should measure my feet and my actual shoes, and to ask the seller about the size before buying.

And there's some different interesting model of shoes/boots, and i'm just unable to choose, and to be sure of which one would look the best with my other clothes.

Maybe i should show you the pairs that interests me, or should i try to choose by myself. Any advices ?

I always recommend trying on shoes or boots. That is partly because my feet are an unusual shape so a lot of things do not fit me properly (oddly it is worse for mens shoes for me.)

You have not happened to mention which region you are in.

If you have a Payless available, consider going there first, if only for the experience of trying things on. Not every Payless sales agent is great, but most of them will either leave you alone or help you. If the Payless isn't crowded, just go ahead and pull out one of the boxes in a size and style you like and try it on, either in the middle of the isle or at one of the try-on chairs, and go ahead and walk a little bit to see how it feels. Payless is pretty good that way; the other customers mostly don't care as long as you aren't blocking their access to what they want and you aren't threatening their children. Again, even if you do not buy, it will help you feel better.

Picking 2 sizes higher than your male size is a guideline only, and it does not always work. My official male size was 10 1/2, but I usually needed male 11 because of my foot shape. Some women's 11W (wide) fit me just fine; in some women's shoe shapes I need 12 or 12W; and for me if a 12 doesn't fit then a 13 will not fit either (the 12 might be too small but the 13 will be too large for me.) Thus for me the guideline would be closer to "add 1 size to my official male size, and try both rounding up (11 1/2 -> 12) and rounding down (11 1/2 -> 11). But that's for me, and I have a narrow foot as male feet go.

I concur with the advice about shoes. Trying them on is the only way to go. If you go to a place with self-service shoes like Kohl's or Target you can carry the shoe box into a dressing room and try them on privately. If you're going to be walking around you don't want 4" pumps! 2" wedges are cute, femme, and walk much better. I like Clarks.

I don't know about your plan to change and apply makeup in a restroom. That can be pretty dicy and then you end up with the problem of being in a restroom dressed as the opposite gender. That might need a little more thought.

I have changed in the back seat of my car, hidden by darkness and tinted windows, but it was more difficult than it would be with more room.

Keep your clothing simple, a blouse and skirt and sensible shoes.

Don't forget accessories and jewelery. You'll probably need a necklace, watch or bracelet, a ring or two, and earrings. A purse of some sort will be needed to hold your goods and you'll want a femme wallet to carry in it.

If you choose a location that has a "family" washroom, then your ingoing gender presentation will not matter. But if it is single occupancy take into account the traffic volume so that you don't get parents knocking on the door wanting in.

Hello,

You have been given a lot of great advice but let me pile on. Being a bit of resident social scientist I have done a lot of field studies when out and about. I did post a thread about blending in with the local population when out and about. Perhaps it might be a bit of help for you. Good luck and most importantly . . . confidence when out and about will help you.

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...ing&highlight=

Hugs

Isha

sandra-leigh, my region is Canada. I don't know about the payless things, but usually most store let the customers try the shoes before buying. It's better to try the shoes before buying, but i was thinking to buy on internet because there's more choices on internet and i don't know but i would need to go in the store dressed as a man to try the feminine shoes, or to dressed as a women wearing man shoes to go buy the feminine shoes. But i buy everything on internet, i have everything before going outside. But i don't want to order online and realize that the size is wrong.

Eryn, why do you think it can be dicy ? I think about the restroom with stall (and i would go in a locked stall, where there is other stall available for other people), I would put the makeup on using a portative mirror too (i will not use the mirror of the restroom in front of everyone). My main problem is that i don't have a car, it's not a problem to go in a different city, but it would have been easier to change my clothes in a car. But if someone have a better idea to suggest.

sandra-leigh, where i live, the restroom are usually separate from gender to another, but the worst that can happen, i guess, it is if 1 or 2 guy see me as a girl going outside of a man restroom, they'll just think it's strange i guess. Or when i will return to change from girl to man at the end of the day, i will need to enter the man restroom, because i don't want to be as a man in the women restroom.

Isha, thanks for the link, i will look at this.

You have to decide if you just want to blend into the crowd or get noticed.

Hi....... You have to make the first step through the door. But get ready sis, cause the feeling is unimaginable! To be free, feeling and sensing every sound, brush of air, the adrenaline.......... and believe me, if I can go out and blend, so can most anybody else! Blend, smile, and be proud of who you are, god made us this way for a reason.

BLUE ORCHID, i don't think it's really important for me to be noticed or not. As long as i don't have a spotlight on me and everyone starring at me like i was going to make a drama, i should be fine lol. Sure the more people will think i'm a girl, the more i will appreciate (anyway, how to know if they think i'm a girl or not, unless they tell their comments aloud). But i know it's nearly impossible to pass as a girl for everyone in a shopping mall. I think there will still be some people who will notice that i'm not a girl, especially the first time it is probably unavoidable.

Joanncdnj, yeah, and i can't wait to live this experience :daydreaming:

I wouldn't change in a restroom either. In addition to this being unusual behavior, you don't know how clean the place is going to be, and whether there will be anyplace to hang stuff and set things down other than the toilet itself. If you are going to a different city, get a motel room.

You do really need to try shoes on, if you can get to a shoe store as soon as it opens it should be quiet, I went on the shop web page first and made a list of suitable shoes, so when I entered the store I went to the aisles with my sizes and picked out my selection. When a SA came to help I asked if she minded if I tried them on, she was polite and helpful, it turned out to be a great experience. One word of advice wear tight or holdups underneath your socks some shops may not let you try on shoes without, as I discovered when asked to put a pair of knee highs on in the middle of a busy shop.

A lot of great info and ideas has been given to you and your up coming "first time out". Please do consider your safety first to where you are going in another city. Do a trial run at about the time of day or night you plan to be in that city. Observe what the GG's in that area, in your age group are wearing to get an idea as how you should dress also. As it's been said do get a motel room so you can dress and do makeup (it may take you more than a couple of times to get it right) without someone pounding on the door to use the toilet. As for shoes/boots, it is best to try on any footwear as there is no set standard for size. What may fit you in one size may be too big or small in another style or maker. Best to ask if you can try on the shoes/boots, or just buy them, get a receipt, try on at home, and exchange for another size. Please do not rush to be out until you have a complete outfit, but always be comfortable and confident in whatever you choose to wear. Enjoy.

Let me suggest a couple things. Your general plan is ok...going to another city is a perfectly reasonable thing. And making the mall your first outing is fine to. I believe there is safety in numbers. But before you go, spend some time at the mall en drab and observe what women your age are wearing when they go shopping. You'll see a broad range, but I think you'll find some in nice casual outfits that will work for you. You'll be much more comfortable if you're dressed to blend in. Second, for daytime, consider sandals or slides with a low to moderate heel. There are lots of women who are your height, so that will work well.

I feel you have a long way to go before you are able to step outside.
Most revolves around confidence and self doubt.
You are asking us a lot of questions you should be able to answer yourself before you venture out.
The makeup has to be right, the clothes looking neat and in place, also the right footwear.
You will get some excellent answers here and then you should go away and experiment in private for probably another month or more.

Then ask questions again, maybe then you will be able to go out.
If I were you I would be renting a motel room for the night at least, maybe even a weekend and then experiment to your hearts content.

..keep the training bra on a while

Hi,

Just some tips that I have used that May help you, as I only venture out en-femme in another city.

1. If you have a garage, that helps tremendously, put the car in the garage.
2. Pack a bag, containing your male clothes (jeans, shirt, socks and sneakers)
3. Also in the bag - pack your wig,makeup and jewelry. Also have your pocketbook and makeup remover.
4. Invest in a pair or womens sunglasses and a large mens zip up jacket
5. Get dressed en femme at home
6. Apply eye makeup (eyeliner, shadow and mascara at home)
7. Zip up the jacket and put on the male jacket and male sunglasses at home. So driving around, you just look like a regular guy with sunglasses on
8. Now you can pull in the ladies room of half way to your destination in your car, the rest of your makeup and your wig. And jewerly
9. Reverse the steps, or totally dress back in male mode in your car before heading home

Hope this helps and good luck to you
Gretch

All you really need to present as female is one piece of visibly female clothing. You don't need makeup, you don't need breast forms, you don't need a bra, you don't need high heels. What you need is the internal knowledge that you are presenting with a strong enough visual signal for other people to say "This person has a female side". Everything beyond that is a matter of how satisfied you yourself are internally with how female (or female looking) you feel, and a matter of how willing you are for people to identify you as primarily male based upon the remaining male cues.

Now, if you have on any clothing that is stereotypically male, then people will find it more difficult to see the female as natural and primary. In my experience, running shoes (Nike and so on) have become such status and class signifiers that I would avoid wearing the male versions of those. There are a lot of "plain" male shoes that are not going to draw much attention.

The more obvious your beard or mustache hair is, the harder it will be for people to see past any male facial features you have.

The only makeup that I usually use is a bit of lipstick. The discussions about the recent #nomakeup movement tend to say that women are fine to go out as-is, just put on some lipstick and go. I am a bit mystified as to why the discussions suggest lipstick instead of no makeup at all, especially as they do not seem to be suggesting that it is their opinion that a woman without lipstick is somehow not "proper". Regardless, I do find that lipstick makes a visible difference for me, as my lips are on the pale side. That's all I use for every-day activities -- though if I have some razor nicks I will put on a bit of powder.

Notice the two different factors at work here: (A) what you need to feel feminine inside yourself ("identity"); and (B) what you feel that you need so that others "see" you as feminine even if you still want to be "male" while doing so ("acting").

There were quite a few times where I tucked a skirt into my jeans, left wherever I was (e.g., work), found a semi-hidden place with no-one looking, pulled off my jeans, tucked them in my bag, and kept on going now wearing a visible skirt. No makeup, no change of shoes, just shedding the shell of lie and then continued on in freedom.

Gretchen is so right on. Planning will reduce anxiety considerably. Make lists of everything you are taking. Checking out your destination in advance en homme. You can actually google map some shopping centres! Top up gas and fluids in the car, make some lunch and juiceboxes, extra hosiery, camera..Remember not to speed, to signal, not to tailgate.......

Quote:

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Originally Posted by GretchenJ

Hi,

Just some tips that I have used that May help you, as I only venture out en-femme in another city.

1. If you have a garage, that helps tremendously, put the car in the garage.
2. Pack a bag, containing your male clothes (jeans, shirt, socks and sneakers)
3. Also in the bag - pack your wig,makeup and jewelry. Also have your pocketbook and makeup remover.
4. Invest in a pair or womens sunglasses and a large mens zip up jacket
5. Get dressed en femme at home
6. Apply eye makeup (eyeliner, shadow and mascara at home)
7. Zip up the jacket and put on the male jacket and male sunglasses at home. So driving around, you just look like a regular guy with sunglasses on
8. Now you can pull in the ladies room of half way to your destination in your car, the rest of your makeup and your wig. And jewerly
9. Reverse the steps, or totally dress back in male mode in your car before heading home

Hope this helps and good luck to you
Gretch

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i went to a gay club they just looked then a guy came over and sat down my it felt so good he was nice had a good time going to go more

Yes, we definitely have Payless ShoeSource in Canada. That's where I found all my size 11 Wide heels. Shoes are very economically priced (well, it's in their name!), and the isles are arranged by size. I would go in guy mode, and nonchalantly sit down and try on the shoes I wanted. As long as I acted naturally (not looking around all nervous), people didn't care.

As for changing into your makeup /clothes... hmm, it would really help to have a safe private place to change, like a hotel room. I have a friend that does that - gets a room for a day so he can go out en femme.
I don't know how long it takes you to apply makeup, but for me it's 30min+, and it would seem really uncomfortable and nerveracking to do that in a public mall restroom stall.

Alternatively, maybe a 1 day car rental? Cheaper than a motel room. I'd pick the back of a car over a public bathroom stall to apply makeup.

Most importantly, you've got to practice your entire look (clothes / shoes / makeup / wig) a few times before venturing out in public.