Crossdrssing For Beginners and Closet Cds
The following tips are designed for the beginner, part time closet crossdressers who have to keep their pleasures secret from their wives and friends. These tips are from my own experiences as a part time crossdresser.
Background
If you read on, you are probably like me; a crossdresser that loves the scene but can’t go out in public for reasons of discretion or really can’t ‘pass’ in public; and can’t afford to make too many obvious changes to your appearance. I actually have no desire to go out in public dressed; I have had many lovely encounters with other crossdressers and admirers without ever going out in public. I started out with just a lingerie fetish, graduated to wearing women’s clothes, then finally acquired a wig and make-up. But the process was slow and that is what I recommend in some of these tips. You cant be down the gym looking like a gorilla one day and then turn up as a hairless sissy the next; people will notice!
A Hairy Subject
One of the biggest challenges to the closet crossdresser is hair. Even if you are lucky enough to have sparse, light coloured body hair, it detracts from your femme appearance. It has to be dealt with, but in such a way that it is not obvious to your wife, girlfriend, friends, and workmates. As I said take it slowly.
Beard The easiest to deal with is facial hair. I always shave twice before dressing, particularly if I am having an ‘encounter’. I give myself the standard shave, with the grain, and always with shaving gel and a new blade. I then rinse and give myself a second shave, paying attention to those ‘raspy’ areas (run your hand against the grain of your beard to feel it) and ensuring I get in the corners of my mouth. Don’t forget to shave all over your cheeks too, that fine ‘bumfluff’ looks awful under make-up. Shave all the way down your neck to your collarbones. Finish with a light coating of moisturiser.
Arms and Hands If you cannot shave your whole body (gee think she would notice?) then you have to do the best you can. Your best weapon here is a beard trimmer; a cheap one will suffice providing it has an adjustable comb attachment. I really don’t worry too much about my arms; I buy long-sleeved tops with high necks. You can still look sexy. Hands are a real give-away however, and hairy fingers and backs of hands look awful (nail polish makes them look even worse when they are hairy!) So shave them! I shave the backs of my fingers and the backs of my hands about once a fortnight and that works fine. Shave your hands far enough back so that no arm hairs will show from under the sleeves of your long-sleeved tops. No one has ever noticed or made comment to me. If you are particularly hairy you may have to work at it slowly over a period of weeks so its not so noticeable. If you insist on displaying your arms and can’t shave them, at least run the beard trimmer over them to reduce the hair down as much as possible.
Legs Without question every crossdresser wants to display sexy legs; and I believe they are easy to achieve. OK the biggest problem is hair, so what do we do. If you can't shave your legs (lets face it most of us can’t – how noticeable would that be?). Start using that beard trimmer on them; start at the highest setting and slowly, over a period of weeks, bring the comb down as far as you dare. I have fine hair, and now shave my legs with the trimmer set to the shortest setting once a week. I wear shorts a lot and no one notices how short and fine my leg hairs are, even when I’m in my bathers. The next trick I have, is to wear bike pants to the gym or when exercising. When I started to wear them I noticed they wore most of the hair off my thighs, so I just took it one stage further and shaved off the remainder. I now shave from just above my knees to the tops of my thighs and no one notices; of course don’t do this until you have the rest of your legs shaved to the shortest setting on the trimmer. Unfortunately if you are really hairy, the best you may achieve is a good trim with the trimmer. There is still more that you can do however. I use sheer beige pantyhose as a foundation garment. These give shape to my legs, covers the little nicks and veins, and provide a nice sheen to my thighs. (They also help to hold in the tummy and assist in holding the ‘little fella and his two mates’ in place.) I can then wear any colour nylon stockings or fishnet stockings over the pantyhose, or sometimes even another pair of pantyhose. If you have particularly hairy legs and can’t shave them too closely try wearing beige pantyhose under another darker coloured pair. If you can afford them, dance tights give a wonderful sheen to the legs and will hide the hairiest of legs. As for painting toenails, I don’t bother; I always have two pairs of nylons on so my toes don’t show that much, and often the nylons have reinforced toes anyway. Purists will tell you its sacrilege to wear reinforced toe stockings with open toe shoes, but the guys love it !!!!
Chest Unless you can shave your body all over you have no chance. Shave your face to well below your neckline and wear round-neck or collared blouses that come to the bottom of your neck. I never take off my top no matter hot things are getting, You will see why later.
The Nether Regions If you are lucky enough to have a wife or girlfriend that likes you fully shaven down there, good luck. I use the trusty beard trimmer on my pubic areas and keep it closely cropped but not shaved. I did it slowly (again) over a period of weeks and now my wife is used to it and never noticed the gradual trimming.
Eye Brows Another tricky one. Most guys can't get around with eyebrows like Nicole Kidman without being noticed. Again get that beard trimmer in action set as close as you dare. Pluck those rogue long hairs and of course pluck any on the bridge of your nose (two eyebrows please, not a mono-brow). I go for shape and try to pluck the hairs closest to eyes to achieve it. It’s a matter of practice and what you can get away with. Another trick is to dab a little styling gel or mouse on the eyebrows and comb them up and away from the eyes. I also wear a wig that has a fringe that just comes to the top of my eyebrows so they are not really noticeable.
Finally, for god sake don’t forget your nose and ear hair……………I shouldn’t even have to mention it!
Fingernails
Have you ever noticed that not all women have enormously long painted nails? If you want this look, by all means buy falsies, but they are a pain in the arse to put on and remove. The only tip I have here is to paint them before you put them on; lie them along a piece of dowelling held in place by ‘blue-tack’ to paint them easily. I have always had longish nails anyway, but again slowly, slowly, start to grow them. If you have unsightly bitten nails, you can even make a point of saying you are working at not biting them and having nice nails. I let mine grow to about 2-3mm (1/8" – 3 /16") long, keep them clean and the cuticle pushed back, and shape them nicely. They look nice even in drab; but put a coat of nail polish on them and they look lovely. If you keep your cuticles pushed back, it is easier to remove nail polish. Just buy the cheapest remover, its only acetone!
What About That Belly
I suffer from middle age spread and try my best to shape what I have and hide the rest. If you can afford a tight lace-up corset, good luck, but in my experience they only push the fat further up your belly. I use a cheap elastin and cotton body trimmer that I bought from a shop in Oxford Street Sydney. It’s like an open bottom girdle that supports my midriff and flattens my tummy. It starts just below my belly button and comes to just below my tits. (Another reason I never my take my top off during ‘encounters’.) It does a great job and is comfortable. You may be able to achieve the same results with a ladies girdle but I have never tried one myself. Control top pantyhose or dance tights also go some way to holding in ‘belly bulge’.
The Wig
Look! All the web sites will tell you, and I have to agree, do not muck around when it comes to buying wig! Go to a professional if you can, and be prepared to pay at least $100. Again I went to Oxford Street (gay part of Sydney) where they are used to fitting guys with ladies wigs. I was in drab (as I said I have never been out dressed) and the assistant did not bat an eyelid and was marvellously helpful. Make sure the style suits you, a general rule, the older you get, the shorter the wig. If you can’t go to a proper retail outlet go to a costume shop and say you are dressing in drag for a party. Try on wigs until you find one that suits; then buy something similar at a hairdresser or cosmetic shop, even some sex shops sell wigs.
Lingerie
This is so easy. All of you probably started by wearing your, wife’s, mother’s, sister’s panties anyway. The old line about "getting the wife some knickers", stockings, garters, lingerie etc for her birthday/anniversary etc always works. I don’t even bother with the bullshit any more and just go straight to the lingerie section and buy what I want. I buy pantyhose in bulk at the supermarket whilst shopping with a list in my hand, women think it’s on the wife’s shopping list! I put them under the groceries until I get to the checkout. Bras are tougher. Most women’s bras won’t fit unless you are petite. I got an extender for the back (it’s a piece designed to extend the bra strap across the back). If you do have trouble determining your size, just get the assistant at the lingerie counter to assist you select ‘something for your wife’. Make sure you can return it if it doesn’t fit and then go home and try it on!
Shoes
Not so easy for the undercover crossdresser. I went to Oxford Street, tried on, and bought a pair of imitation black patent leather, open toe high heels. The trick is finding your size. I’m a size 8 men’s (Australia) and a size 11 ladies. I have also bought shoes at the Salvation Army (charity) shop, just tried them on when it was quiet and took them to the counter. They are used to guys buying shoes. You can get clothes there too but they usually frown if you ask to try them on. A trick you may use is to make a stencil of your foot on cardboard. Go to a shoe shop (cheaper shoe retailers have more of a selection of the larger sizes) and jut say: "I would really like to buy my wife some nice open toe high heels (whatever, you get the gist) and would like to get her a pair for birthday". Say you took the cardboard stencil from one of her shoes. Again, get a money back guarantee. Voila! You have just bought your first shoes and now you know your size. Don’t forget women’s sizes do vary between brands just as men’s sizes do.
Skirts, Dresses, Blouses and Tops
As a closet crossdresser how many clothes do you need? I have kept my wardrobe simple. I have a ****ty, vamp look, a secretary look, and a sophisticated look. I have skirts and tops that mix and match. I haven’t bothered with dresses; too hard and in my opinion they make older crossdressers look like frumpy old women. Skirts are easy; I have bought them from specialty Crossdressing stores, charity shops, and even off the rack. Once you have one that fits you, you have an idea of your size. I got a wonderful Carla Zampatti A-line skirt for $10 at a church charity sale! I never take women’s clothes to either the men’s or women’s dressing room – too risky. I take the item off the rack and try it against my waist and estimate if it will fit. If it’s from a charity shop and doesn’t fit, the most I’ve wasted is a few bucks. If it’s retail, again return it! I also bought my first top by trial and error at a charity shop. I bought four tops and two of them fitted. I lost about $10 – big deal! I have found the biggest problem is that women’s tops are narrow in the shoulder so I now hold the top up to my shoulders to estimate if it will fit. Always try and take your purchases to older women tellers, never men, and avoid young girls. Older women understand that their job is to sell stock, not to ask, "whom did you buy this for?" I was once pleasantly surprised by a mature lady assistant who actually came over and asked could she help me, was I shopping for myself? Once I got over the shock, I had a pleasant experience as she helped me choose two tops in my size (the only time I used a change room because she remained outside while I tried them on!) I always go to shops out of town to buy clothes and shoes and always when they are nearly empty (weekdays just after lunch is good, the staff are on their break, and most 'would be' customers back at work). I buy lingerie anywhere; guys always buy lingerie for their wives and girlfriends.
Breastforms
Specialty CD shops and some sex shops sell realistic breastforms but the better ones are expensive and you have to muck around attaching them to your chest. As I said, due to my foundation garments, I never take off my top so I didn’t bother. You can get away with birdseed or a rice filled nylon stocking that look quite natural. Padding from old shoulder pads also works well. I don’t care what kind you use whether they are bought or home made, they have to look realistic. I stress look, because unless someone other then you is going to be touching them, how they feel is not important. I actually made my own from a tip on the net. Get a shoe box full of soft builder’s sand, push down and press the imprint of you favourite bra cups into the sand. Line the hollows made by the cups with plastic sandwich rap and fill with clear silicone (the tubes you buy at hardware shops for leak stopping). Leave them for about a week to set, then put each breastform into a nylon stocking, cut the stocking, and tie it off at the front (there is your nipple - ta-da). All I do is slide the breastforms into my bra and they are a perfect fit and cost much at all.
Makeup
Buying Makeup I refuse to buy expensive makeup. I don’t wear it often enough to justify expensive brands and find the cheaper options available at ‘thrift’ shops do the job. It’s easier anyway to go to one of the cut price shops that sell everything and wait until the makeup aisle is empty and grab what you need. Again, out of town, weekdays after lunch I find is best. Another option is to buy a full makeup kit that you can say is a present for your daughter or niece "who has just turned 13". I just bought the essentials to start with. My essentials are: bright red lipstick (not for your lips, I will explain later), foundation (buy small cheap bottles until you match your skin tone then buy larger), powder (match to the foundation), blusher (most contain two or three shades), eye shadow (I buy the smaller compacts that have lots of colours), eyeliner or kohl (don’t muck around, get black), mascara (same), eyebrow pencil (a few shades darker than your hair colour), lipstick (get a couple of shades, I like the plum shades), and of course nail polish (I have a plum red that matches my lipstick). You will have to buy accessories such as brushes, small makeup applicators for eye shadow, and small makeup sponges. They are all available on the rack and don’t attract much attention among other grocery items. Once you have the essentials you can just top up your collection when you are out shopping for other items. Tip: buy a large, fine good quality sponge and cut it up to make makeup application sponges.
Application
Look there are a hundred web sites that will tell you how to look like a model and how to look natural etc. If you are like me, you don’t give a hoot about natural, you want to look attractive and dare I say it, ****ty. The best advice is practice, practice, and practice. If you are married spend some time and watch your wife apply her makeup, she will love you for sitting besides her and talking to her while she is getting ready for that evening out. Especially watch how she applies eye makeup, which I believe is the hardest to master. Here are my makeup tips for what they are worth:
Foundation: Don’t forget you must shave before applying makeup. If you want to muck around and go to a specialty shop to buy ‘Dermablend’ or theatrical foundation then go for it. It will cost you lots and the snotty girl behind the counter will look at you funny. I know men need a ‘specialty’ foundation to hide their beard and rough skin but try this: apply the bright red lipstick I told you to buy, in liberal dabs all over your beard area, not forgetting your neck. Work it in with a damp sponge – I know you look like a red Indian, don’t panic. Apply your foundation liberally (its cheap and you don’t dress that often) and work that in with a damp sponge. Ensure you get your ears, well below your neck, right up to the hairline, and don’t forget the eyes and eyebrows (it provides a foundation funnily enough for the rest of the makeup). I now apply a coating of powder to set the foundation. Finding the foundation and powder combination that works best is trail and error, try your wife’s first and if your lucky like me, it might be right for you. I just the went out and bought cheaper brands but similar shades.
Eyes: I do my eyeliner (kohl) next, all the books say do eye shadow first, but I find eye liner the easiest part of makeup to muck up, which therefore requires removal and having to start again. Again the books say "for a more natural look, only apply kohl to half the bottom eyelid; start at the middle of the bottom lid and work out to the corners of the eyes." Bugger that! I want to be a **** so I apply plenty around the top and bottom of both eyelids, getting as close to edge of the lid as possible. I get right in the inner corners and sometimes bring it out slightly from the outer corners to make my eyes look bigger. I then apply my eye shadow. Play with different combinations using darker colours on the lid and lighter colours as you move upward, away from the eyes. Don’t be afraid to take the lighter colours right up to the eyebrows. Now I do my eyelashes. I use lashings of mascara because of my thin, fair, lashes. Be careful not to get globs of it stuck on your lashes. Work it from the lid towards the ends of the lashes. I do both sides, top and bottom. I use my eyebrow pencil next, sparingly, moving from a fine line to an even finer line as I move towards outside. Don’t colour the things in unless you want to look like Groucho Marx in drag!
Face: I now apply blusher to my cheeks and work it back towards my ears. Against the advise of the professionals I use lots and gradually thin it out as I get higher on my face to get that ‘eighties’ look (not natural but so spunky).
Lips: I do agree with ‘the experts’ here, don’t try and make your lips fuller by going outside the lip line. Get a nice colour and practice until you get it right. I like to apply a lot (funnily enough) then bite down on a tissue to even and set the coat.
Finishing: I now apply a second light coat of powder all over to finish. I then apply my nail polish. That’s me done, not natural, but hopefully loveable.
Last tips: don’t use glitter makeup anywhere unless you are under 16. Don’t use glossy lipsticks, especially if you have thin lips. I have thin lips and have found a plum red works for me.
Removal: My biggest worry is, will SHE notice any makeup on me when I come home after an interlude with a friend or if I have been home alone playing dress up. Buy the cheapest biggest bottle of moisturiser you can and make sure you have a facecloth. I remove everything from my face first, lippy, blush and foundation (don’t forget your ears, hairline, and neckline). I pool a large quantity into the cloth and clean my eyes next. Because they have the most makeup on them it will usually take two or three applications to remove the bulk. Mascara is a bitch, you may have to work on the lashes individually to remove it all. Next I wash my face with soap and water, dry off and check for any remaining makeup, particularly mascara. If I can, I take a shower. Nail polish will come off easy with remover. Use plenty and use an old cloth to take it off; cotton balls get stuck. Make sure none is left around cuticles and in the corners even under the nails. You will definitely find it hard to explain that!
Finally,
As I said in the introduction, these are my tips for part time crossdressers that want to dress occasionally for fun with themselves or with partners and don’t want to get caught. If you want to dress ladylike, ‘natural’, have transgender tendencies (you want to be a real woman or dress all the time) go to any of the thousands of web sites that provide transgender resources.
Would You Take Tips Off This Crossdresser?
xxx Michele
Crossdressing for Beginners and Closet Cds
Hi Michele, I employ all these dodges in accummulating gear, particularly the Salvo's, Vinnies etc. Where I can be finding something for my "husbandless daughter" "impoverished aunt" etc. But don't go in dressed like a wealthy lawyer. I like your suggestion for breast forms, but disagree with cheap nail polish; I think money is well spent on Este Lauder for example; looks better, goes on easier, stays on longer.
I bought a female waist cincher by boldly approaching the oldest assistant in the Intimate Apparel section. I told her I needed to reduce my waist to once again fit into a kilt last worn 30 years previously. What size?", says she. "32 inches" I replied. "I can't do miracles, but I think I can get you to 33". She was most helpful and even came into the fitting room to show me how to put it on. "Take off your shirt and singlet, I've seen men in their underpants before", was her no-nonsense approach. I must say it is not the most comfortable garment to wear!
Crossdressing for Beginners and Closet Cds
More thoughts to add to your excellent post;
When I'm shopping around I am from " Out of town", buying for rellies, which gives the opportunity to buy indiscriminately and return items at will. (Funny how all my female relatives are size 14!) When buying skirts choose ones with elasticised waists, then a size or two smaller will lie snug on the hips yet expand to encompass the masculine waistline. The pleated, elastic waisted skirt in my avatar is a size 10
Also measure your waist and take a tape measure with you when checking out skirts. It takes but a moment to check the tape against the skirt without taking it off the rack.
I look forward to other girls' tips
p.s. Sorry, I misinterpreted your recommendation on the nail treatment ...I concur on the el cheapo remover
