Sorry this is long, but . . . (but I've done it again)!
Wow! Wish I had read this thread sooner!
First, Tiffany Sharon, you didn't do, "a bad thing." It is your business what you wear! Of course, you have to consider the possible consequences, but above and beyond that, I'd say, "so what."
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Sharon
You wore a bra and were caught, but it seems to me that there is a part of you that wanted to be caught, otherwise why would you do it?
Sharon I think you are absolutely right. When any CDer goes out dressed (inclusive of underdressing at work), there is a component regarding possibly being caught and the ramifications of that happening -- the possibility does exist! I think there is a certain mental excitement just knowing it is a possibility! It actually can be fun and exciting!!! I think the most obvious time that I experienced was when the wife and I were out of town. I was loading the car at the hotel when a rain shower cropped up and I got drenched. When I headed back to our room -- after having passed a number of people in the hallway, both guests and hotel staff (and realizing I was getting many stares) -- I realized that my shirt was VERY wet -- enough for my bra to really show big time!!!
Third, the legalities (in the U.S.): the actions of the girl who gave Tiffany Sharon, "the little back rub" could be easily construed as sexual harassment. Much of the time, the law looks to see if the person committing the act has some power over the other (to promote, demote, fire, make life difficult on the job), BUT, this isn't a hard and fast rule. The mere fact that this particular GG could have gone to her superiors (and thus made life difficult for Tiffany and/or hold her out to ridicule) makes this situation rise to a level of sexual harassment b/c, if told to superiors (and co-workers, too) there could be the creation of "a hostile environment" that is "so pervasive so as to dramatically change the terms and conditions of (Tiffany's) employment." The starting point is very simple (and an easy burden to meet): was the action unwelcome! And it doesn't need to be sexual advances or the seeking of sexual favors; all it has to be is "verbal or physical conduct of an unwlcome sexual nature."
AND, while we are awaiting new protections to be passed by Congress, Title VII has been held by a number of courts to prohibit harassment of, and discrimination against, a person just b/c they do not conform to certain socially expected behaviors associated with their gender!!!
Quote:
Originally Posted by
TxKimberly
I'll bet her mind and imagination can easily put pictures in her head that are far "worse" than the reality. Kim
That could be the case, Kim, but I am wondering if the GG has a poblem with it at all?!!! It is possible she doesn't.
BTW: I have seen the "I lost a bet" line work -- and work very well. That said, maybe Carin has the best idea:
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Carin
I think you could go to her and ask her if she is OK, that she seemed to be upset when she was in your office yesterday. That opens the door. If she is receptive to more discussion, you can say that you think you frightened her and you did not man to.
That's good, Carin -- let the GG talk and see what she might be feeling. Who knows, she may of had an idea about the CDing, liked it, but got embarassed after confirmation?!! Maybe not -- the point is, you can't know unless and until you talk, and Carin has presented a great format for such.
Quote:
Originally Posted by
Salandra
I prefer to tell everyone on a "need to know" basis. It's like talking to the IRS, they don't ask, you don't volunteer information, just answer the question.:happy:
True -- very, very true. The problem, Salandra, is that many people don't know how to answer questions "in a legal way." For example, if someone walks up to you and asks if you know what time it is, most people (with a watch) will look at their watch and give the time. This is no big deal in the regular work-a-day world, but in a legal setting it can be a huge mistake. In a legal setting if you were asked this exact question, and you have a watch, your answer should only be, "yes." The point: people tend to be too forthcoming and/or talk too much.