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Please remember no matter how she reacts in the reveal and everyday thereafter, If you love her , show her!
Hold her , treat her as you would like to be treated.
I've heard from so many women who became not so much unaccepting as very lonely as their S/Os seem to forget why they are there as they become more into themselves.
Best wishes
Presh GG
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Hi Scarlet, I just wanted to welcome you to the forum and to wish you best wishes in you're quest to tell your wife. You have some wonderful advice from other members here to contemplate, that's what makes this site so special.
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Wow sounds like my story I told my wife recently that i like to dress in womens cloths we have been married for five years and together for ten. She was not accepting at first but the more I explain that I am not gay don't want a sex change . She is starting to come around. I just explained I don't want to keep any secrets from her. And I don't want to sneak around any more. This is who I am. I'm not sure where I came from but I know it's not going to just leave.
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Tell her and be honest...tell her all of it! Your chosen form of suppression keeps it on your mind and would never work in the long run..you'll have a meltdown and then what good will you be? Five years isn't that long of a time and you can tell how you mistakenly thought you could deal with it. She sounds like an open minded person or you wouldn't have married her...Work it all out with her,it is worth it!
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Hi Jessica,
I'm 37 and told my wife nearly 1 year ago (had been married for 4 years). I decided that I couldn't keep it from her any more and had the conversation. It was a little awkward and within 20 seconds she had convinced herself either
A) he's leaving me
B) he's got a terminal illness
It still came as a total shock and she had absolutely no idea. I disclosed everything, the full extent of my dressing, how I felt about it, why I do it.
She cried, I cried, talked for about 5 hours into the early morning.
Bit by bit we discussed what she was comfortable with and it started out with just underwear, then shoes (she went shopping with me to alternative footwear, awesome place)
Fast forward 10 months and I spent last night in full lingerie, suspenders, little black velvet dress and knee high boots.
The only out of bounds is bra/breast forms which I can live with as I don't often choose to wear makeup, or my wig.
I do always paint my toenails (we often now co-ordinate lol)
The big BIG BIG thing is communication, discuss something you would like to try and your boundaries, don't spring surprises on her like shaving all your body hair off.
I'm not saying you cannot just see how she would feel about it first and consider her feelings as this is a very big thing after 5 years to discover about someone she thought she new everything about.
I know I'm very lucky but what makes a difference in my case is I don't change personality when I'm dressed, I'm still me, I don't take on, or want to take on feminine expressions/voice/mannerisms (nothing wrong with that but I just enjoy the look/illusion/tactile sensations of it)
Try not to go hell for leather with the buying if she's ok with you topping up your wardrobe, ask her opinion if she's willing to help.
It can work out very well.
Good luck
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Hi Jessica, it's anybodies guess how your wife will react. Good luck .