Thirty Days in the Hole

As of today I have spent the last month dressed enfemme, although not always presenting enfemme around the clock…24/7...I have found my very own coping mechanism and means to survive those times when I need to dress but can't present enfemme due to work commitments.

I originally intended to post this in my journal here on CD.Com, but decided to add it to the CD forum instead so anyone could have access to it in hopes of showing others that it is possible to overcome their fears and not just live, but thrive in the world as a CD/TG person....and No, I am not a Doctor, nor do I play one on T.V....and no I didn't stay at a Holiday Inn express last night.

I am just an everyday person who is trying to live my life and get by and function as a human being....it just so happens that I am a recovering male to female trying to come to terms with my own Trans needs...and I try to relate my expereinces from my heart so others might know they are not alone in their own realities.

I don't speak for everyone and wouldn't even if I could.....

When I realized this as my anniversary of sorts I immediately thought of that old Humble Pie song “Thirty days in the Hole.” And now have this song firmly ensconced in my head and know that it probably will be for the rest of the day…oh well…it’s a happy problem to have as I like the song and love the band. don't know what this song hasto do with CD/TG Issues or my experience..it's just a good song which references thirty days...and being a music lover i will share a link to it.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sdXjm8pZMws

I think it prudent for me to explain my statement to that I was dressed enfemme although not always presenting as a female….I own a few pair of pants, shorts and Jeans etc…which all came from the women’s department of various stores, as well as several blouse from the women’s department of Old Navy etc…..these all can very easily be seen as a androgynous although I guess it must the guy in me as I prefer the term stealthy….
I have for the last 30 days incorporated all these into my everyday dress for work as well as my New Balance Walking shoes and my Nike women’s cross trainers…I purchased a couple packs of Joe boxer Women’s Sox’s and have worn nothing but Panties for more than five months now anyway….add to this the sports bra’s which I wear everyday and this is how I am coping by dressing stealthy and enfemme during those times at work when it isn’t feasible for me to present as a female.
It’s kind of funny the routine I have fallen into as many here know my job as a Transporter often has me on the road for many hours in a day and I find myself carrying a bag with me so I can dress for the return trips when I am traveling alone…On the days when “Drag racing” isn’t possible it is easy to find me in the house upon my return home as there will be a trail of clothes to follow from the front door to my Bedroom as I immediately remove my more drabbish clothing and jump as quickly as I can into Wendy mode…may not be everyone’s idea of living enfemme but it is working for me.
During my off time from work...and when I don’t have the Grandson around (Still working on how best to introduce him to this side of his Pop’s) I dress and present fully enfemme and have completed all my errands and daily activities in Wendy mode for this month….This has included obtaining a new State ID card with me dressed enfemme on it, making runs to the Bank, Grocery store, Pharmacy, Wal-Mart’s, to get the oil in my work vehicle changed etc…basically just doing those everyday chores that we all have to do to live life.
I got in to see my Doctor as well and began HRT, a huge step for me…and one that now I regret not taking a long time ago…I have came out to several more persons who I interact with frequently…My Younger Sister, her daughter (My Neice)My neighbors, Sister in Law and older Brother just to name a few.
Mostly what these last thirty days have taught me is that I can survive living as a Female…and even thrive in the world as well with a little help from those around me. I have found far more support and acceptance than I ever hoped for and it continues to surprise me how truly liberating this whole experience is.
I would be amiss if I didn’t also point out that the whole period of time hasn’t been all fun and sunshine….I have lost touch with one of my older sisters who has no interest in having a Transgender person..brother, sister or naught in her life…I have endured a few verbal comments from strangers as well as enduring many, many, many questions and concerns from my wife, family and friends….
In the long run though…I am happy to say that it has all been worth it for me and it appears that from the information I have right now…there is no end in sight and my time as Wendy will continue for a long time to come.:)