Acceptance by stylists

Because of postings from sisters who are nervous about going out, I decided to find out what stylists think of us. I called ten salons in my area and told each stylist that I was looking for a stylist that could help he out with a good hairstyle, and if they did such, makeup consultation. I told them that I was nervous and wanted to work with someone that I could feel comfortable with, and who would feel comfortable with me. Of the ten places I called only one said positively no way. All of the others were very friendly and willing to help. In one salon the stylist even told me that she would be excited to help me out and thought it would be fun for both of us. She asked a lot of questions and made me feel comfortable with her. She said the salon had a makeup artist and knew shw would also love to help out. (She has done makeup on me before and was very friendly and helfpul. Half of the places I called wanted to set up a free consultation to see what I was looking for and show me what they could do.
I think this shows that we sometimes are nervous when we don't need to be. Now I have to decide on which place I want to visit. I have it narrowed down to four.

That is very cool of you to do. Perhaps if I am in Denver any time soon I will have to test it out. Hope I dont get your one "Positive no".

Thanks Hun, great message, I guess another take home is that it is OK to ask a service provider if they (whether it is a stylist, manicurist, optical ect.) are comfortable working with us, as a way to help us be comfortable. I have asked straight up, "are you comfortable with this?", and have found that they will tell you. If they are cool, then I can relax and enjoy.
Laney

I know there is a stylist in Madison WI who (in addition to his "regular" clients) specifically works with the transgender community. I haven't been to him yet, YET... but I am told he does great work and is surprisingly sensitive. If anyone wants his contact info, PM me.

Ok what about TEXAS I live in Dallas TX and I have not Found anywhere to Go not even a Boutique

I know there are some Texas women in here so if you know where please let a sister know thank you I would appreciate it

Sometimes they are very interested in what you are all about, or want to hear the details of your life like this post http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...d.php?t=130820 SHe wanted to know why, where, when, etc... But it is a great feeling to tell it to someone and maybe make sense in your own mind.

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Originally Posted by corynn

Ok what about TEXAS I live in Dallas TX and I have not Found anywhere to Go not even a Boutique

I know there are some Texas women in here so if you know where please let a sister know thank you I would appreciate it

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Dont try San Antonio either.No one will do them here.

[SIZE=4]Come on people! We are service people that love to deal with issues relating to you looking good, for God's sakes. We are not judges and don't really give a rat's ass why you want to do something. I will cut your hair, teach you how to apply makeup, do makeup, pierce anything, do permanent makeup on you, advise and teach you how to deal with wigs, that is what we do.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=4][/SIZE]
[SIZE=4]Have you read my signature? I am a stylist and I am a member and I am a CD and have been for over 50 years!! I now dress to work as a stylist and have not found a single salon that balks at me working with them. It is a new world out there, not the stodgy old salons where the girls just get together to talk about stuff and gossip.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=4][/SIZE]
[SIZE=4]Just walk through the door, look around at the stylists and start talking to one and find out who has the skill set and the desire to help. We work for money!!! We want to make money. We love a challenge. Why do so many of you think we are so hateful and have no interest in helping others look good? Why would we have gotten into this meaningless business unless we loved the work? [/SIZE]
[SIZE=4][/SIZE]
[SIZE=4]OK, there are a few who don't have thew interest but you will be able to figure out who they are. And there will be a few who will turn their nose up at you, but don't let that stop you from looking and talking. It is just like finding a mechanic if you don't have the mechanical skills.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=4][/SIZE]
[SIZE=4]Wow, that just flowed out, thank you for giving me the opportunity to pound the keys at this time of the morning...[/SIZE]

Ha! Nice work! Thanks so much for taking the time and sharing!

Evidently the Pacific Northwest is far more liberal then Redneck Texas.

Paying someone for a haircut is not the same thing as acceptance! Imho. Its smart business cense to not turn away customers in this economy... And though I agree its to our advantage.... I would go broke if I had to pay everyone to accept me! Lol

I have to agree with Tamara.... Service people are like everyone else! They want a job that is challenging, makes the customer feel good AND makes them enough money to live on!
I used to hav e that fear of calling a salon and asking for help. After talking to a few of the stylists, I have found they would consider it a test of their makup and styling skills to 'transform' me from boy to girl. from wig care and styling to proper makeup application, these ladies and one gentleman are more than willing to take on the task!
After all, when I show up it isn't your normal 'wash and trim'. It's full blown skill set time! And in Chicago, st. Louis and Indy, I have never been disappointed!
Cash is cash and they haven't refused my money yet!
Huggs to all,
Lisa Elizabeth

If you have money they will be nice to you!!!!!!!

if you don't settle on a place, i can recommend one. i went there for a makeover/hair style, but i was using a cover story. *however*, the stylist told me that they have a girl who is in transition who is a regular client, and they spoke very kindly of her. i think they would love to have you. pm me if you want the name of the salon.

[SIZE=4]It isn't necessary to "buy" anybodies' "friendship" and I think most CDs think that people that have the skills will automatically simply want to help them anytime, anyplace. I hear a lot of CDs tell me that I "should" do their makeup for them, just like they will be happy to write a will for me or fix my plumbing..[/SIZE]
[SIZE=4][/SIZE]
[SIZE=4]We do need to stick together but please recognize that when you want the services of another you generally do need to reciprocate in some way.[/SIZE]

I could not agree more Tamara. That would be so rude if I expected someone who makes a living on beauty to give me something for free.

I think however asking if a stylist is comfortable cutting a man's hair in a feminine cut is only common courtesy. While we many not like that some people are against the trans and cd community, it is their right to not want to give us service. Expecting them to do so is trying to enforce our beliefs on someone not comfortable with it.

Plus, why would you ever want to get a haircut from someone who has a negative vibe toward you?


I just called up a salon that has amazing reviews and asked if they are ok with me getting a feminine cut. She did not hesitate to say of course and asked what I was looking for. I have an appointment this Thursday to hopefully fix the damage I did when I hacked al my hair off. She even is going to try and do magic on my light and thin brows.

Tamara you are absolutely gorgeous! I wish you were in my city, I would totally give you my business. Anyone who looks as good as you has my vote!

My hairstylist is a gay Asian male for my guy mode's style. My new task for him, whenever I'm ready to come back to him, is to try and retain as much of my current hair as possible and make it so that I can style it for both guy and girl mode. Knowing his personality, he'll be up to the challenge! It also helps that he's one of the funniest people I've worked with... I dunno, there's something about gay hairstylists that makes me smile and feel comfortable!

Never trust anyone with something sharp in their hands... it makes sense to find out who you are dealing with first and what experience they have. You don't want to loose an earlobe or worse leave the salon looking like a man! Seriously, it is a great plan to call first and do the same with wig shopping. Go to the place you feel welcome. It is like asking a shop owner if they serve certain ethnic groups...legally they can't turn you away, but you want the best approximation to the real thing and who is better, the one who wants to do it or the one who has to?

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Originally Posted by Chickhe

legally they can't turn you away,

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Actually they can, as a private business owner you don't HAVE to serve anyone you don't want to serve. Maybe it is different in Canada but here free speech still stands. Of course you cannot receive any government support and you will probably go out of business quickly if you make any display of prejudice. It is their property and you are there by extended invitation.
You won't die if you don't get a haircut by that person and you won't have any permanent harm inflicted upon you. You may have your feelings hurt. (also add to this and in most places being a TG is not a protected status anyway).

That said, the vast majority of businesses especially here in Denver don't care anything about how you present. It is always a good idea to ask the owner how they would like to proceed and many stylists require appointments. If you called 10 salons and asked anything there would likely be 1 who would not want your business (maybe they don't do men...OMG isn't THAT illegal?). If you don't go in with an attitude or act inappropriately, most will take your business and the majority of those will work hard to get you back and have you refer.

It's always a good thing to find out how the place will react to you and now you know of one you won't go to

I have used the same salon for the last 6 years for manicures, pedicures, facials and massages. All of the girls know that I am a cd. I get all of my services done in drab. I have total acceptance. I must also add that I am never late for an appointment. I am always courteous and polite, and I tip well.

Most all of the employees at a salon are on some sort of percentage of their work done (the owner is an exception); therefore the tips given are important for the employee's compensation. I always tip at least 25% or more. This way they know that I am serious and that I appreciate what they do. At Christmastime, I always add in a generous extra to their tip and tell them Merry Christmas.

Take care of the people that help you. It pays dividends.

Jodi

Quote:

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Originally Posted by tamarav

[SIZE=4]Come on people! We are service people that love to deal with issues relating to you looking good, for God's sakes. We are not judges and don't really give a rat's ass why you want to do something. I will cut your hair, teach you how to apply makeup, do makeup, pierce anything, do permanent makeup on you, advise and teach you how to deal with wigs, that is what we do.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=4][/SIZE]
[SIZE=4]Have you read my signature? I am a stylist and I am a member and I am a CD and have been for over 50 years!! I now dress to work as a stylist and have not found a single salon that balks at me working with them. It is a new world out there, not the stodgy old salons where the girls just get together to talk about stuff and gossip.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=4][/SIZE]
[SIZE=4]Just walk through the door, look around at the stylists and start talking to one and find out who has the skill set and the desire to help. We work for money!!! We want to make money. We love a challenge. Why do so many of you think we are so hateful and have no interest in helping others look good? Why would we have gotten into this meaningless business unless we loved the work? [/SIZE]
[SIZE=4][/SIZE]
[SIZE=4]OK, there are a few who don't have thew interest but you will be able to figure out who they are. And there will be a few who will turn their nose up at you, but don't let that stop you from looking and talking. It is just like finding a mechanic if you don't have the mechanical skills.[/SIZE]
[SIZE=4][/SIZE]
[SIZE=4]Wow, that just flowed out, thank you for giving me the opportunity to pound the keys at this time of the morning...[/SIZE]

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...and a much-needed reality check to counteract some of the navel-gazing and "woe-is-me"-ism that one often encounters in these forums.

I've asked these same questions up-front, and have been amazed at just how open and willing to work with us most make-up artists, wig merchants, and nail techs etc. are. The key is to be honest about who/what you are and what services you are looking for. Nine times out of ten, they are more than willing to work with us, and they probably end up enjoying the experience as much as we do. Many see it as a challenge to their skills, and a welcome change from dealing with difficult clients or the proverbial teen-aged prom queens with their already perfect skin - or even worse - the dreaded "bridezillas"!

Many of us are shy to approach such service providers because deep down inside, we see ourselves as some sort of freaks and a target for possible derision. The truth of the matter is that many of the more open-minded people out there are actually quite amazed (and in some respects, almost feel honored) at having the opportunity to meet such a rare creature as we represent. To most people, a crossdresser is like a Sasquatch or the Abominable Snowman - a creature that is widely reputed to exist, but hard evidence for which is hard to come by :heehee::D.

I found a GG makeup artist by doing just such an Internet search, and I have a great time every time I go visit her. She seems to be very people-oriented with a passion for bringing the very best out of them - including this ol' crossdresser. We chat just like two good girlfriends whenever she is working on me, and she is never at a loss for new techniques or products to try out on me to help me perfect my "femme" look. I feel very much at ease in her presence, she seems to be quite interested in hearing what makes Leslie "tick", and I get the sense that she looks forward to our appointments as much as I do. And the fundamental reason for all this is not rocket science - we relate to each other as people, and not as labels. As someone once said, "We have nothing to fear but fear itself".

My experience reflects dianem's survey almost exactly: 90% of the people in the beauty industry are happy to help us like any other client, and many find working on CDs a rewarding challenge, so they are extra-enthusiastic about it. The remaining 10% or so who are uncomfortable or unenthusiastic serving us can be easily identified and avoided. A phone call or two is all it takes to find an accepting place.

- Diane

I had no problem. When my hair was long enough, I just went to the local Haircuttery and when the lady asked me how I wanted it done, I told her I wanted it cut into a paige style. She asked if I wanted it combed under and I said yes. So for over a year now I go in and she washes it, puts it up with the little clips, cuts the different sections, uses the heated round brush to comb it under and does a wonderful job. I make sure I tip her well.

I have to say I have used several different salons in the NY. long island area. However before I use a salon I don't know I ask over the phone if is ok. only once was I told they would prefer me not comming. The salon I use now I have tried many of the woman who work there to do my hair. I was treated well by everyone. I get a coloring shaping/styling and it is always female styled. I give a nice tip and always say thank you. I believe you are there to get your hair done and be treated with respect. As any customer should be. If they happen to like you that is a big plus. However people like people because of how you treat then. over time a good relationship can develop and you would be surprised how much more you can get with a smile and a thank you. Tips help but how you treat people is even more important.