yet another low

K so first off im sorry for being such a downer. but i am havin another low day cause i can not let the past go and it feels terable and i dont know what to do i want to forget about the past so much and i well i dont know how to. it feels so bad i grew up with a fam that always held grudges against everyone. and that is sum i cant get past and i need to in order to move forward. in life i really want to come out to one of my best friends tho i did come out to him but i was half drowned in rum already and i want to do it sobber. i dont know what to do. And its hard to do since already i have very few freinds that i hang out with/talk to. i lack alot of self confedense and comin here is my escape of dreams/wishes of what i really want. i live for my job cause i love ot and care about the people thay i work with so much that its hard to come out to tje owner and i have a good work friendship with him and everyone else there. tho sum people that i do work with know that i want to change/cd but having to deal woth the publoc and wanting to chamge i hard plus i dont want to mess anything up at work up so yea theres my lil rant

Nicole, you're still quite young, and I worry that you're putting way too much pressure on yourself. There's no rule that says you have to come out to everyone, or everyone all at once, or really, that you have to come out to anyone at all. If your best friend is as open minded as you seem to think, then think about what you want to say, plan it out, plan it out and say it again and again, then just do it. But if you're not sure, then wait, we are all here to listen to you and let you vent, sweetie, so leave your burdens here.
About the past- trust me on this, I know my own demon and its name is regret, so I know what I'm saying and I know you can get past this. We don't get yesterday back, no matter how hard we try, but tomorrow isn't necessarily set in stone because of what happened in our past. The best advice I can give you is to focus on the moment. Just live, whatever is going on now (as in right now) is all that matters. Tomorrow will take care of itself and you're not doing yourself any favors trying to relive yesterday or solve tomorrow's problems today.
On the self confidence- you build that, one success at a time. Trust your instincts, don't get down on yourself if you make a mistake. Like I said earlier, you're still young, and you get where you want to be by overcoming mistakes, not living to avoid them.
I really do hope this wor,s.

Janice has given some good advice. You cannot change the past and the future has not happened yet. Take a deep breath...hold it...let it out slowly. Divide your problems into the groups that seem to affect you, e.g., the family, your friend, work. Decide which is having the greatest impact on you now, then focus on that area only. Decide what can and can't be changed. By breaking the seemingly huge problem into small bits, things become a little easier. Plus, once you solve one problem, you have the gratification of accomplishing something. As she said, go slowly...you will make fewer mistakes. Best of luck.

I definitely agree with all that Janice and Laura have said already. Let me emphasize that the past cannot be forgotten, but you can learn from it and use it to help you shape your future. If you see a problem, try to determine what you can do about it. If nothing, then let it go. If you can do something, put together a plan and act.

Be especially cautious about sharing this secret with other teenagers or young adults, and with those in your workplace. Teenagers and young adults have a much harder time maintaining confidentiality, and you risk your current and future jobs if you share in the workplace. You should only share with these if you think it's critical for them to know and you have strong confidence that they will be accepting.

Miriam