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I don't think you over reacted at all, I would have reacted the same way if I had been in your place. This is one of the reasons some here have said forever that when you see a girl out in public not to approach her, it's worse when Your in drab and at work by a thousand times.
I can understand the other girl trying to reach out though, who doesn't want to have a sister as a friend who understands everything that you may or may not be going through, someone to talk to, or just hang out with. She just made a bad judgement call when it came to time and place that's all. At least she showed up in drab, had she been dressed, things would have been a lot worse.
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I am totally with the OP. She acted well. I think that the other CD was too imprudent on approach in person. If she thought that the blogger was a person in the office she knew, she should send her an email first and ask if it would be OK if they meet etc. I think that in the shoes of the OP I would feel equally uncomfortable. Don't think she overreacted. And if she did, so what? It is a normal thing when someone step into your space. Also I don't think that the OP has to apologize.
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Success!
Paranoia aside, I declare the coffee date a success! I made mention how a crossdresser found me at work and how I may have been a little to dramatic with my reaction, at least online. I've made a few modifications to my blog that I hope will prevent a repeat of readers finding me at my work - yikes! - and allow them to contact me online.
That being said, we agreed to meet at a coffeehouse not far from my place of employment. I wanted to meet at a public, and busy, place for the sake of my personal safety. It put me at ease, and I think they appreciated the fact that I was willing to meet them as well. We met in boy mode and we were a study in contradictions. I work in retail where my dress is casual. Sloppy may be a better description, while he was dressed professionally in slacks and a dress shirt, sans a tie, though I could easily imagine that he would wear one should it be required.
We didn't discuss our alter egos since people were close by, and I know I didn't want to be overheard, but we did talk about ourselves a bit. Mostly we discussed books, mainly because I do like to write and I have aspirations of becoming a published novelist, *cross my fingers!* We talked about our education, both of us receiving our Bachelor's degree,though in different disciplines. We shared our backgrounds, namely where we lived and where we've worked. We didn't share too much, especially since this was our first meeting. Best to go about it slowly.
The date lasted a little less than an hour, but speaking for myself, I know I relaxed tremendously. Someone called me paranoid, and I'll cop to it. I can be, but I'd rather err on the side of caution. Call me crazy, I call it being socially anxious which could be the same thing. All the same, I believe I've met a kindred spirit, one that I hope to call a friend soon. I can move glacially at times, but once I call you a friend, you're one for life, and I'm not one to bestow that on a whim. I'm silly that way.
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It's not paranoia if they're really out to get ya! Not saying your new friend, or anyone else, for that matter, IS, out to get you, but these days, probably good to be a bit cautious. Hope it continues to go well for you.
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The fact that the date lasted almost an hour makes me think that this new-found relationship has a lot of potential. It'll be interesting to see how it develops when you open up to each other about your alter egos.
I'm very pleased for you and hope it all goes well.
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Stefani:
Im glad it went relatively well for a first meeting. I know it's initially difficult to open up about your femme side. I kept my secret for almost 60 years before talking with anyone about my CDing. Now I'm in a local Meetup group of over 500 girls who regularly go out together en femme (not all 500+ at once). We all are now pretty comfortable sharing much of our pasts with each other -- once you learn to open up, quite a lot bubbles up and out.
Continue to to be safe going to meet each other, and remember the words of our 40th President: "Trust, but verify!" Going into a relationship with a complete stranger, you need to know as much about him as he knows about you.
Best regards,
Rhonda
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i am with krisi and jaylyn on this one....in general i am feeling there is a huge amount of paranoia about this topic...as one other person said if you do not want to be contacted in person...say so in your blogs, and change the details.