Dating???

So I am a bit curious. Like many people I'm single, no ex wife, no kids... just me myself and my other me.

But that's not to say that I want to wind up an old maid. So I actively date via dating apps from my phone. I guess that I have moderate success as I have been on more first dates... A few second dates and perhaps one or two third dates in the past 2 yrs.

I figure with my work schedule and that sometimes I just don't feel like dealing seeking out anyone that I do pretty good regaurdless.

Now for me I am totally up front about allison. In fact they don't get a pic of the more often face I present until after we've been chatting for a week or two.

I'm honest in my profile, explain how much free time I get along with the usual hobbies and what not s. As well as mention that my ideal second date is Allison cooking them a meal. So yeah they get to meet the more often me first.

Though sometimes I wonder if allison should be bumped up to first date material that is not what I am curious about.


no, I was just wondering what others without significant others do for dating. If they are up front about what's in their closet or if it stays on the top shelf.

Allison, I am on dating sites also. My method of operation goes something like this. If I connect with a woman on the net and we talk, I feel her out about her views on TG people. If the conversations continue I bring up the subject of crossdressing and ask if they have problems with that. My final questions before the first meeting are...would you have a problem with me being dressed with you and if they would help me dress.

If I go slow and feel my way around in the first conversations, many women don't seem to have a problem with it, but they are up front too. They tell me it is not something that they would pick to do, but if it is something I like, then they would do it.

Yes, I have dressed in front of women I did not know, but go slow is key and to make her feel as if she is still the female and only a cloths thing with me.

I doubt that helps, but there ya go.:2c:

Allison, Thanks for bringing this up. Not too many singles on here, surprised me. I am 60, never married, too. I have not had any success on Plenty of Fish.com. None! Have not had any success on any site, for many years. The dressing is a big turn off, to any i have interacted with on the computer. On some alternative sites, however, there have been many men highly turned on,, and wanting to meet me, or even marry me, right away!! I have only met three admirers in many years, though, as I am cautious, kind of a loner, not wanting to rush into sex, or a serious thing. No longer wanting to get serious with anyone, just platonic, unless a lady like Julie Newmar, or some other tall lovely lady sought me out. Yeah riiiight!

I was on Hot or Not site for a while and got a few dates out of it.
I was very up front in being TG and most women really didn't have a problem with it.
Now the few guys that contacted me on a gay dating site had issues with me being a CD.

Waiting for all the replies here, I've been single for several years now, have terrible luck in the love department and worry about having to mix in dressing with it.

Back when I was on Match I was not up front. I had long hair back then, and that clearly showed in my profile. I also had waxed brows, longish nails and shaved. Only once did I reveal my shaved body (and panties) on the first date. She thought it was hot, but I got the impression that she would have thought anything was hot. None of my "matches" stuck, although there's one I probably should have pursued further. I think if you come out with everything up front you're running a serious risk of exposing your "secret". You'll have lots of first dates, and every one of them will then have enough ammunition to bury you. The only way I'd come out up front is if I was looking to date someone that I never planned to let them know my male side at all. That's obviously not a recipe for a long term relationship. I've become a lot more paranoid about revealing my identity to anyone under any circumstances.

I guess I should chime in here. Never married, no children, never used a dating service of any kind or any thing electronic related. I do have a few close women friends who know about my duality and accept it for what it is and how I express it with my "dressing". We do not go on "dates" per say or too many "outings" but that's O.K. just the company of the opposite gender is enough. I am still a male and have attractions to female beings but I'm not going into that here. Well I guess I should tell how I met these women but they were really quite innocent and serendipitous and at every day events i.e. at the farmers market buying fresh produce, small talk turned into a cup of coffee and lunch and progressed from there. Telling of my "dressing" came about by my appearance, polished nails, long hair down and somewhat styed, jewelry and some other tell tale signs all this before my total acceptance of my femme self so I guess we grew together in that respect. I've come to the realization that living alone is what I'm destined to be and that's not bad or wrong it is who I am now. Believe me there were many that were let's just say not into men who CD, but that's O.K. no lies or hiding or games life is to short. Maybe it's because I'm looking for friendship, not sex or commitment and see where we go from there. I don't know if this helped you but it seems to be the way I meet women and hopefully make a friend. Good luck in your search for happiness. Sorry this kind'a got long winded.

thank you for posting this, i've not yet got into dating partially because i was too busy with my career, and recently upon learning about this side of me and not totally sure how to work that into the whole dating scene, specially as i am closeted but would love to have someone to accept me for all of me. i appreciate hearing how other people try to work that out and their rates of success.
-kat

I'm kind of disheartened right now. One should never accept that their destiny is to be alone.

And I know I'm not one to talk but I've never had a relationship last over 6 months. And those number 2. I've only had 17 relationships in my life. But there are reasons as to why.

One is I'm picky and will never date a woman, gg or mtf whom is lazier than me or noticeably less intellegent. Neither is that high of a bar. I'm in less than average shape and didn't finish college.

That kind of makes me look like a. .. Insert derogatory word... but it's moRE complex... That's just the just of it.

but the main reason I think as to why so many failed was because I was not being true to myself and hiding in my own misery.

now I'm not fully out as a cd nor as trans as I'm not sure where the lines end. But I have noticed that the more accepting and open I am with Allison the more first dates I get...

but that's just me. I can't really say for anyone else and am probably still more hidden than the majority of posters on this thread.

Though I do want to add that for the majority of my life I lived in a good sized city near Chicago and had abysmal luck. Now that I have to drive a hour for a decent date I seem to have better luck.

So I guess I'm not totally sure which factors are actually benefiting me.

Perhaps I can afford to be out to strangers 60 miles away and not be afraid because they wouldn't be able to use cding as leverage against me.

I have dated in the past (not often though), used personal ads, internet sites and even matchmaking companies back in the day. I've only had one relationship that lasted longer than 3 dates. That one relationship lasted about 3 years, but it was long distance and little likelihood of the circumstances changing soon enough for either of us. I'm socially awkward, shy, and as I realized a few years ago, asexual. I have no interest in a sexual relationship with anyone, but I would love a romantic relationship with a good woman (GG). At the same time, I'm an introvert and quite happy being on my own. So I no longer look for a relationship, nor even to date. If I did I would prefer to be open and honest right from the start. This is who I am. I'm a pretty decent, reasonably intelligent person with a good sense of humor, I like to think. I'm getting to a point n my life though where I don't expect to live in the same part of the country for too many more years so I don't want to put much effort into building relationships or even friendships where I currently live, just to pick up and leave soon-ish.
I agree that self-acceptance (which I have finally achieved) is probably helpful, but then, what do I know about dating or relationships!? lol

Allison if I may be a little blunt, if you don't stop thinking of yourself as a lesser person you will not attract the kind of people you are looking for. A college degree does not make you smart or intelligent and a physical appearance is shallow. Do not dwell on the past and when it's time to accept Allison and be more open about yourself no one can use your CDing against you. I am over 20 yrs. older than you and it took me all these yrs. to finally get to the point I am at now, and you are further along than I was at your age as far as CDing goes. Please cheer up and stop trying so hard ,things have a way of working out when least expected.

Allison there is nothing wrong with being alone. I've been married twice and I would take being alone over being married any day.
Having a duality of male and female is like living with someone but not having to argue over things.

My apologies I did not mean to infer that there was something wrong with being alone. I guess it was just the way I interpreted it. and the way it seemed at first run through felt a bit disheartening at first. Despite my dislike of most Disney related themes I really believe in harpy endings and sometimes the more romantic side of my mind can mis interpret things. I'm very big on hope and a better tommarow. for a very long time it was all that kept me going. Even that hope is a large part of what keeps me going nowadays.

Allisa, It's not that I think of myself as a lesser person, Yes I do have self esteem issues, and yes I do have a tendency to seek out bad relationships. But... well here is an example, the last woman I dated presented pretty well on a dating site. we got along pretty good, I took her out on a nice date to the mall followed by a decent pizza place(the mall was for walking around and talking and it was a short notice affair due to my job.) anyway at first I didn't catch on but after a few weeks of talking and me in turn having to explain what certain everyday words meant... well she hadn't completed 8th grade. And while I am no star student 99 percent of the time I can usually infer what something means with how it's being used.

And by laziness, is more a generalized thing... appearance, apartment up keep... clothing... hair.... life in general... first, second and third impressions are important and can't date anyone that would show up for a first date in a more modernized burlap sack. plus I'm looking for an equal and while i'm not completely squared away I am constantly making strives to make things better formyself.

Well I've technically never been on a date with a woman dressed in a dack before but its been close...

Fifteen years ago when my long marriage collapsed, my dressing being only one of many issues, I was given some tough advice that I decided to take. the advice was, if I wanted a relationship with a different ending, I had to do something different in the first place, keeping it a secret wasn't going to work. so I sucked it up and got out in front, started going out en femme everywhere, looking for a social context where I could exist. I made many new friends, I discovered that some women found me very interesting, and one of them, whom I first met while en femme, is my accepting and approving wife today.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by Jackie7

Fifteen years ago when my long marriage collapsed, my dressing being only one of many issues, I was given some tough advice that I decided to take. the advice was, if I wanted a relationship with a different ending, I had to do something different in the first place, keeping it a secret wasn't going to work. so I sucked it up and got out in front, started going out en femme everywhere, looking for a social context where I could exist. I made many new friends, I discovered that some women found me very interesting, and one of them, whom I first met while en femme, is my accepting and approving wife today.

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Jackie that's sooooo sweet ,a happy ending ,I love a happy ending congratulations all be it belated .Katie x.

I really think this depends on your lifestyle. If you choose to live openly and full time, then you should present yourself as such. If this is an occasional aspect, don't share it unless and until you're getting serious.

I'm dating here and there, but it has been hard to find nice, compatible guys in this city. I met a bisexual soldier last summer that I did fall in love with. He was here for training and had to leave after a couple of months, but he very surprisingly liked it when I dressed. Although he appreciated my willingness to top, he came alive like a firecracker when I put on my lingerie for him. He treated me like a woman, and I loved every minute of it. He made me feel good about submitting to him, and he kissed me, took me instead of my having to top and kiss him. Months later, my new boyfriend dumped me after he found heels in my closet. So sad. It would almost be easier just to date as a girl, but trans-oriented guys are too often just after sex and act like entitled jerks. How do I find the good ones?

OK. If you want to date guys, that will be easy, just go to an alternative sex site and you'll find men looking for crossdressers. As far as getting a female date while crossdressed, finding a woman is going to be HARD. The odds are so stacked against us it's like trying to chew through a screwdriver. However. If you choose to stay closeted until you find a women who you think you can come out to, that's another thing entirely. Through much of my life, I was clueless. I had no idea how to date, how to approach women, or how to figure out if a woman was worth going after. All too often I followed my nose, lusted after a particular girl, waiting far too long to ask her, and wound up being turned down. No more. There are many books available on the dynamics of dating, and they're written in plain language that's easy to understand. First, I refer you to Leil Lowndes' book Undercover Sex Signals, and it's not what it sounds like. What it is, is a book with behavior clues as to what to look for when a woman is interested in you. Trust me when I write that YOU DO NOT KNOW THIS STUFF. And you NEED to. First, pdf of book here: http://mkmouse.com.br/livros/Underco...des-ingles.pdf

book here: http://www.amazon.com/Undercover-Sex...ds=u.s.s.+leil
It is out of print right now, but if the link is dead, you can google search and find it in pdf format, or in torrents if you know how to use them. If you need help with that PM me. Second is her book called How to make someone fall in love with you. No, it's not a book of trickery; it's an explanation of what happens when we're dating, and the behavior that goes on when we fall in love. http://www.amazon.com/How-Make-Anyon...ds=u.s.s.+leil
Women want you to know this. They want you to know because they want you to be confident and approach them. And that's half the solution.
These are things that 'charming' guys do naturally, but we have to learn. No, it's not deceptive. No, it's not cheating. All you're doing is what some guys are born innately knowing how to do, but most of us have no clue. Those two will get you quite far; you'll be able to go into any social situation and be able to notice which women you should approach, knowing that SHE's already interested in YOU. Then know what to do, and how to do it. At first, you might need to carry some 'cheat sheets' to refer to when you're not sure of what you're doing. But trust me, that won't last for long.
Next, there are all those 'pick up artist' books. But you don't need to use the information just for that. However, it does help to learn what to do, and how to reel in a woman once you figure out which one you want (David Wygant and David DeAngelo are two of the better ones, and you can also find their stuff for free by google, but you may have to go through some searching to find the whole documents, or just use torrents) And most important, how to keep her, and keep her interested in you. One big hint I can give you is, like Milton Berle said, "always leave them wanting more".
I no longer have trouble finding a date. I haven't found a woman who's into crossdressing men, but who knows, eventually. In the meantime, no one has to be alone all the time.

I'm on dating sites looking for guys only who will treat me as my feminine self to which I'm committed to 24 /7,I dress every day and shop etc as femme,I've no interest in women,only top guys who accept who will make love to me as well as be my friend and soulmate.