Shes not so accepting after all.
So, we had the crying wife talk last night. As it turns out, she hasn't really accepted me dressing. For the past 3 years she's been trying to accept it. And, she finally decided that she couldn't do it. She asked me to start looking for an apartment. I said no. She feels like she's holding me back from being who I truly am. I disagree. The last statement this morning was "we'll just have to work through it". Before that there was "You need to move out", "I'll get counseling to accept it", I'll get counseling to quit", and "you can ignore it and I'll hide it". Soooo, unsure of what to do.
Your Partner is a strong person
If she has been trying to accept you for three years, she is strong and I sense that both of you are very confused. I agree with everyone who has said you both need make sure this is the issue, but be prepared if it is exactly as she says.
Compromise is another word slow death. Move out and see if you can remain friends, perhaps with the pressure off she can work around her objections.
Best of luck to you both