Good Things Happening

Many here don't know me from many years ago. I have been very busy in life and a big part of that is advocacy (as opposed to activism) for our community.

Beginning earlier in the week, I received an email from the Co-chair of the Positive Space group at our college. (Kind of reminds me of Jenny Boylan back in the day.) He was wondering if I would out myself to the School of Nursing and do training about transgender, and secondly, to teach the teachers what they need to know so they can pass it on to the students. :cheer:

Several back and forth emails later I met with the dept. Chair. It was obvious she was as in the dark about trans* as I had thought they would be. This was confirmed by a quick look at the text the students are using. Horrible. It was a facepalm moment for sure.

So, the end result is that I will be doing 2, hour and a half seminars next week. I have met a few people in the division now and hopefully solved a couple of issues her trans* students are having when in clinic.

The steps may seem small but when we remember who we first meet on a doctor's visit, something as simple as using your preferred name can make it all worthwhile.

We can make a difference. It isn't easy but win a heart and we have an ally. Plant a seed of doubt and we have a potential ally. Now for the burning question... what to wear? *giggles*

As those of us that are older start slowing down and concerning ourselves with life in retirement, I am glad to see young people stepping up to continue educating the masses. I would hope we all would do what we can do to educate just 1 person. We have broken the ground and started building the path. While it may look like times are changing and there is no need, now is the time to take a step out there and move our cause forward.

Thank you Kimberley. I often ask myself if I should do more. My trans status is not secret, so perhaps I could do something in schools.

Teaching someone something is noble but to teach them from one's personal experience especially a frontier issue is priceless. Thank you.

Very good things, indeed, Kimberley. Thank you for your service to our community. I am already doing this with my employer. I only dropped the denial and repression that I had endured for largely all of my 52 years last New Years', and am finally making headway toward my own transition. I have been on HRT for all of 2 months, and as a result, discovered my employer is not as forward thinking as I might have imagined. My HRT hormones are not covered by my insurance, and that is surprisingly expensive when there's no insurance subsidy! In addition, my weekly gender therapist sessions are also not covered. (Boohoo, right? I know, I still have it easy compared to many of my sisters out there. I do recognize that, and I am humbled by that.)

Well, I came out to HR and to the LGBT support group at work (although not yet to my manager or my team -- I'm working up to that). The LGBT support group leadership declares this to be their big issue of 2015. Apparently the Human Rights Campaign score for my employer is 90 out of 100. Not bad, right, except that they’ve specifically chosen to not cover TG healthcare-related costs year-over-year now in their self-insured medical plans (the law in the State of WA requires it be included in employee coverage – unless the company is large enough to be self-insured, and then the federal ERISA rules apply, and it’s not required there). This amazing support group has reached out to the HRC team in Washington, DC, and the HRC is ready to send someone out to the Seattle area and to personally be involved in making the appeal to the Corporate Benefits Selection Board on why they should change their ways for 2016.

While I'd vastly prefer to not have to be a public face for transgenderism, but instead just blend in, be anonymous (as much as a transwoman can be during transition at work), and live what semblance of a “normal” life I can muster, I've offered to the support group leadership and to the Director of HR that I would appear before the company Benefits Board to meet with them to be the face of their decision to not offer these benefits in 2015 and discuss the consequences of that to me (I have learned that I am the ONLY person in the entire 3,000+ employees who is in transition -- lucky me). I've even offered to come out to the Executive Leadership Team -- I figure they'll hear about me in short order anyway, so I will just own my truth and do this if asked. The HRC leadership is truly supportive, and they have suggested that we only do this if it needs to happen, in an effort to preserve what little privacy I will have once the reveal is made public.

In any case, I understand giving back. I've told everyone here that my offer to speak before these committees is not to benefit me. My medical expense costs for 2015 are non-recoverable, and I need to spend the money. I can afford to do it, so I do it as I truly need to do so. No, my motivation for potentially tossing away my privacy is two-fold: To help those employees who emerge after me (and they will, most certainly, as the company is big enough that we may have some trans people already on staff who have yet to accept themselves - like me 8 months ago!). But the second reason is for the benefit of the company itself. As a notable employer in this area, they want to be seen in the best light. The Pacific Northwest is an area in which intentional discrimination, and the LGBT support group leadership labels this intentional benefits denial nothing more than discrimination, would not be tolerated in the media. The company has big plans to expand its employee base in the coming few years, and getting these particular issues resolved will help them recruit ever better talent who might otherwise go to other companies in the region who are more supportive of all their employees and the health challenges they face.

We’ll see where this all goes. But I am willing to do my part. I think many of us here have done the same in so many other ways. Even just being involved here and helping out newbies like me (can you be a newbie at 52? That seems weird…) is contributing to the understanding and comfort of our community.

Good on you, Kimberley, for stepping up and making a difference. Thank you.

Karen

Kimberley, I want to recognize the part about coming out. Every time we make that decision, it is a tough thing to think through. You are already doing advocacy, so I suspect you have been down this road before. Kudos to you for signing up to the effort! There is a message to keep passing and our visibility has been increasing over the last couple of years. So you will be providing a needed word to, hopefully, open ears.

Karen, I am in a somewhat similar situation. 3000+ people in the company and I told my HR to prepared for the next person transitioning in less a year. I was close. The next person just contacted me. Only she just transitioned, name change and all, and then starts work on Monday. So I am making her aware of the standards HR has set for treatment of a TG individual. HR knows as she interviewed under the prior name and she will start with her proper name. So I hope that is far as it goes on anyone knowing.

As each of us are showing, leaving a little message behind can make the next person's experience better. And even if I only touch one life, that is a great goal.

Hi Karen,
Your story is all too common (in circumstance) and I can totally sympathize. I don't know how large your employer is, but one thing that a lot of employers here in Canada have discovered is that the cost benefits to keeping a long term employee by supporting transition (socially as well as financially) often outweigh the added cost of replacement, litigation etc. That done, no employer can buy the loyalty that comes out of it. A couple of years of working with the employee is well worth it.

My personal experiences in helping people come out in the workplace have always had positive results for everyone. The key has always been negotiation. We may not get what we initially want, but down the road it does come to us; if we are patient and prove that we are still valued employees.

I had a chat with my Dean the other day. I was on my way out and she called me into her office. A quick hug (how unprofessional; I know, but we are friends) Again she wondered if I was going to finally go to transition at work. She is totally supportive; attends TDOR and actually sat with my wife last year. My position hasn't changed although I am less guarded these days. My KPI set by students still influences my hours and I am dealing with a lot of homophobic students. The point here of course is patience and being careful where we tread. By the sounds of it, you are started well. I hope you can put any ills to rest early. We do need work to transition successfully.

Lots of hugs Sis.

Some have commented about public education. I totally agree and I am always on the lookout for younger blood to step up.

Our very best education is by being the best we can be wherever we are and under whatever circumstances. I never try to "win" but only to draw even. That is when seeds of doubt are planted. That is how we gain allies; one at a time. Please never stop. We have made such huge gains in the past 20 years. Let us leave a legacy of hope and purpose for those behind us.

Huggs to all.

Good for you Kimberely!! I am somewhat behind you and not out at work yet, except to our Human Rights office. I have been keeping them in the loop as we plan timelines and have offered to meet with anyone who is thinking about Transitioning to share what little I have uncovered to date. I have done the same with the head of the local Sexual Health clinic as she has been a big support for me and has been trying to find local resources. So we are now pooling knowledge so the next person doesn't have to re-invent the wheel. It is only a few little things right now, but hoping to be a resource moving forward.

Great to see so many trying to help those that come behind us, just as those who go before us have helped us.