What's your situation?1. Accepts, 2.Knows, but not accept 3.Does not know

For those of us that are either married or in a committed relationship, I am wondering.....1 how many of you have accepting wives or SO's
2 She knows but is not accepting
3 You have kept it a secret and if so, how long?

I have been married 3 times in my life. My first wife never knew, but that was before I even knew what I was. My second wife was the very first person i ever told about my crossdressing. I told her about 2 years before we married. She became very accepting after the initial shock and questions. Sadly, she died in 1984.
My now ex-wife also knew before we married and also was very accepting for almost almost 17 years married. Divorced for totally unrelated reasons. We are friends today.
My current SO knew from day one since we met on an alternate lifestyle site where I presented both my male and fem side.

Also, for our beloved GG's, how many knew before you were committed to the relationship?
How many found out about your husband's crossdressing shortly after marriage.
How many found out on your own?
How many learned of it from your husband years later?

I'm curious as to how and when we all shared this part of ourselves. Kind of an informal poll.

SO of 5 years knows, accepts and embraces it.

Married fifteen years as of the 23rd. My honey knows, loves and accepts me as Bethany. She is my greatest supporter.

Hi Brandy, My wife has known since our honeymoon, when she asked me to wear her new gift of lingerie. Her rationale was that I was more interested in her stockings and garterbelt than she was, so she helped me into them......Now 38 years later, she is accepting but doesn't participate as in the past.

Wifey knows but is very UNACCEPTING!!!

1. Accepts [and participates to a certain degree, but is nervous about the wrong people finding out (certain family members, coworkers, etc)].

She did not know before we were married. In those days I thought the dressing was a surrogate for having a woman in my life and that it would go away once I was with someone steady. When it came back, I kept it hidden for many years. I went to counseling and was able to get a better understanding and acceptance of myself, but my therapist actually advised me not to run home and tell my wife. We met in 1986, got married in 1987, and I went for counseling in 1990. I didn't finally tell her until 2001. She was surprised but didn't freak out. Less than a year after I told her, though, we went through a difficult period in our relationship due to other reasons, and I my desire to dress evaporated. Because of that, she got the impression that the dressing was not a very serious thing with me, just an odd, occasional fetish. When it came back again in late 2009 she was surprised by how far I suddenly wanted to take it--dressing up completely, full body shaving, wanting to go out, etc. There was a period of adjustment, but we seem to be pretty solid now. (Knock on wood.) She helps me pick out clothes, gives me her hand-me-downs, alters/sews things for me, and has been out with me a few times. I haven't yet convinced her that Sophie's clothes should be part of the clothes budget, rather than the playthings budget, but we're doing very well on the whole.

Married to my first wife for 16 years. She knew before we were married and started out accepting, then changed.
I am now married for 10 years. My wife was well aware and accepting before we were married and has since'd changed her stance to knowing but not accepting.

Married 35 years...wife has known for 25.
1. Accepts and goes out with me everywhere...shopping, Tri-Ess meetings, movies, dinner. She helps me shop, develop my style and in general is the greatest girlfriend/spouse a girl could ask for...Love her dearly.

Accepts. Been married for two, known for five. Told her early, and I think that is what helped a lot. She doesn't really participate, but sometimes, tosses me stuff and says "Put this on" like that guy off scary movie with the football gear. Just makes you go...."What the?" I enjoy it though. We crack jokes about it, and to us, its no big deal.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Sophie86

1. Accepts [and participates to a certain degree, but is nervous about the wrong people finding out (certain family members, coworkers, etc)].

---

That's me too.

I didn't really know about my crossdressing tillwe had been married for 10 years. Looking back, I can see the pattern now, but.... I didn't really want to dress up fully untill about 2004 & then it went full tilt.

She has been as understanding as she can be and far more than I ever thought. She loves me for who I am, but wishes I didn't want to do this.

We love each other with all our flaws & failings. I wouldn't have it any other way.

I'm in the second category: She knows, but ain't too thrilled about it.

My wife knows and is completely accepting of my dressing although the fist 5-6 months of knowing was a very touch and go sort of time but in the end she decided that nothing would come in between us.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Kim_Bitzflick

That's me too.

I didn't really know about my crossdressing tillwe had been married for 10 years. Looking back, I can see the pattern now, but.... I didn't really want to dress up fully untill about 2004 & then it went full tilt.

She has been as understanding as she can be and far more than I ever thought. She loves me for who I am, but wishes I didn't want to do this.

We love each other with all our flaws & failings. I wouldn't have it any other way.

---

Kim, Thanks for sharing. I think it's beautiful that your wife accepts that you are who you are even though she wishes you did not dress. I can think of things mt So does that I wish were different, but accpet her and love her just the way she is. The good thing is you are not having to hide it as so many do.
I hid it from my first wife since I was not sure what it was anyway. I also thought it would go away when I got married at the ripe old age of 17. But as we now know, that never happens.

Married 25 years, wife has known for most of them. She accepts to a degree, but I think she considers it more of a fetish thing in my case.

Knows and is not accepting. It's DADT If she knew how many feminine garments I have, she would probably freak out.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Jessica86

Accepts. Been married for two, known for five. Told her early, and I think that is what helped a lot. She doesn't really participate, but sometimes, tosses me stuff and says "Put this on" like that guy off scary movie with the football gear. Just makes you go...."What the?" I enjoy it though. We crack jokes about it, and to us, its no big deal.

---

I think it's great that you and your wife can crack jokes about it. Acceptance without participation is better then having to hide it. Bet it feels good when she says, "go put this on". Kind of a loving tease maybe?

Hi friends,
I am new - this is my 2nd post.
Like so many of you, I have been dressing since I was a teen (13) starting in my Mother's extensive boudoir.
I have never been able to completely escape this facet of my personality and the immeasurable pleasure and joy it brings to my heart and mind. That being said, I am 46 and closeted. My wife does not know and I have been secure in this secret.

I have a very good job that allows me to to telecommute. As of the past year, I have been dressing several times a week whle my spouse is at work. This allows me to be Evelyn, feel like Evelyn, indulge in Evelyn and improve her appearance.

I do have balance in this and an understanding of myself - but of course some part of me really longs to be totally transparent and free of the encumberments of secrecy. There are just a few too many issues in my life that prevent this currently, but some day I hope to be able to be Evelyn openly.

I appreciate this forum as it gives me and all of us a chance to really express these intimate thoughts.

Evelyn

I have a great wife of 3 years now who not only knows, accepts, and supports, but helps. Without her I would be lost. Not only is she my wife but shes the best friend I could ever ask for!

We've been together almost 9 years, getting married this summer.

The serious interest developed since we have been together. My fiancee is actively supportive, picking the name I use, shopping and buying clothes for and with me, and making acccomodations to our lives to allow me this freedom to express who I am.

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by Evelyn_SF

Hi friends,
I am new - this is my 2nd post.
Like so many of you, I have been dressing since I was a teen (13) starting in my Mother's extensive boudoir.
I have never been able to completely escape this facet of my personality and the immeasurable pleasure and joy it brings to my heart and mind. That being said, I am 46 and closeted. My wife does not know and I have been secure in this secret.
I have a very good job that allows me to to telecommute. As of the past year, I have been dressing several times a week whle my spouse is at work. This allows me to be Evelyn, feel like Evelyn, indulge in Evelyn and improve her appearance.
I do have balance in this and an understanding of myself - but of course some part of me really longs to be totally transparent and free of the encumberments of secrecy. There are just a few too many issues in my life that prevent this currently, but some day I hope to be able to be Evelyn openly.
I appreciate this forum as it gives me and all of us a chance to really express these intimate thoughts.
Evelyn

---

First, welcome to the best site on the Internet for finding friends and support Evelyn. Glad you found us.
I would find it so hard to hide something so personal, so big a part of my life from the woman I love and that loves me. I know for some, it might be the the only way to stay married. For others, it's just their perception about how their wife might react if they shared this part of themselves with them. I feel sorry for those that feel they can't be open and honest with the one person that is supposed to love them through thick and thin. I think the worst part about hiding this, is when and if the wife finds out on her own and then feels so shocked, cheated, lied to. That scenerio usually die snot go well. So you will learn that most of the GG's here, as well as most of the CD's, believe that at some point you need to have that talk.
I wish you well my friend.

Wanted to add, I am not judging you or anyone else that feels the need to hide. At some point in our lives we all hid it from someone, if only our parents. I did from my first wife and remember the frustration it caused me for the 5 years that marriage lasted.

My Wife knows and accepts me but does not participate.

She knows! we have been married for 38 years, and I told her when it came on me five years into the marriage, I hadn't dressed in years, but things where stressful, and I found myself wanting to dress again, after years of not dressing. I had lost one wife to this, but was willing to risk losing another, but I'm terrible at lying, and not very good at keeping secrets from my love one, ( I don't Christmas shop until the last minute, so I'm not so tempted to show it to her early.) So for me it had to be come clean, and take my chances. She accepted me day one, not to say I didn't have to answer the standard questions. Back then I thought of myself as a Transvestite, never heard of crossdresser, but now, I think I might be a bit more. either that or old age, and loss of hormones, has just brought it all out more. I never know what people mean by participate, she shops for me, gives me gifts like perfume, jewelry, and womens clothes, but I dress myself, by myself, I do my own hair and make up, and I pick the look. She on the other hand, tells me I look pretty, I like that outfit on you, that skirt is a bit short, and that sweater is a bit tight, type of things, and I love the input, and the complements. We watch fashion shows, and diss on the outfits we don't like, and we both like chick flicks. And that is all the participation I need! Oh, and occasionally she brings me flowers!
Tina B.

Hi Brandy:

I've been married to my Sweetie for 42 years and she's known of my CDing for thirty years or so . She's been very helpful and accepting. I love her soooooo much ii hurts somtimes!!!

Great post: Danielle

Put me down for #1. She helps me buy clothes and shoes and loans me some of her makeup as well as clothes. I can't wear her shoes, she is a size 7 1\2 and I am a size 10. We were discussing about not keeping secrets and she had already told me lots of stuff so I said "self, it is time to throw it out there and see where it lands" I was very lucky that it landed in the right place. We have been happily married for 22 year and Jeannie can come out when she wants to. I don't think my other two wives knew anything about it because it never came up during the divorces.

Jeannie

Based on your scoring guidelines, my wife is a 1.5
LOL.

Married 15 years.