Quote:
Originally Posted by
BTWimRobin
My questions to you ladies is have you ever felt the crossdresser in your life was objectifying women? Have you ever thought about it from that perspective?
In my opinion, absolutely YES, Crossdressers* objectify women. (*Note: I am referring specifically to straight CDers, not anyone truly on the Transgender spectrum.) The whole premise of CDing is make yourself into the object of your desire, i.e., a woman; which is the basic definition of objectifying.
I often think about it from this perspective. I see it as if my life is one big cosplay for CDers, in which the only thing that matters is imitating how women dress and look. It's just one more way that women are made to feel that we exist solely for the entertainment and pleasure of men. It's not enough that women are ogled, catcalled, harassed, undervalued, underpaid, and disrespected in our everyday lives just because we are women. On top of all of that, we also must deal with someone in our own home who transforms themselves into a stereotyped, often sexualized, version of us, which feels equally creepy and chauvinistic.
It's demeaning when CDers say they feel feminine doing 'women's work', e.g., cleaning, cooking, shopping. Stop. We are in the 21st century, not a 1950s sitcom. Household tasks are now gender-free. I can take care of the plumbing or car repairs without feeling 'manly'. You can manage to cook or sweep a floor without bragging about how 'girly' you feel doing it.
It's condescending when CDers exclaim that to be a woman is so 'relaxing' and 'freeing'. Please. What part of our real-life existence do you think is relaxed and free? Do you think being a woman means only to decide what to wear and how to do our hair? Do you really see women as one-dimensional? What exactly is it about pretending to be a marginalized personage makes it attractive to you?
And please stop trying to convince yourselves, and especially GGs, that you CD because you admire and respect women. It does not come across like that to us.
The stereotyping and objectification of women is a main reason I have a problem with CDing in general. Personally, it's painful to know that the CDer whom I love dearly behaves in a way that is definitively demeaning and insulting to me and my gender. Moreso when I know that in everyday life, he doesn't (intentionally) behave this way.
I don't write this to dampen CDers' joy in dressing, or to force someone to stop dressing. I support each person's right to the pursuit of happiness, in whatever form that isn't harmful to others. However, because the source of a CDer's happiness feels insulting to half of the global population, maybe it's an opportunity to examine why the need to portray feminine stereotypes feels so necessary for your happiness. In seriously considering this perspective I've offered, maybe you can also start to understand why the GGs who love you often have a difficult time accepting this part of you, and why we often are disappointed by this particular pursuit.
I'll leave you with this quote from Oscar Wilde. You're probably familiar with the first part, but the entire sentence makes it so much more enlightening:
Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery that mediocrity can pay to greatness.