Maybe you’re wrong, and they’re right
Do you ever have doubts about what you’re doing? Do you ever think, if only for a moment, that your situation is patently impossible, and maybe, just maybe, you’re WRONG, and you should start doing things right? I suppose I could be wrong, you know – I’ve been wrong before...
:doh:
This idea, or notion, wafts into my mind on occasion, but I don’t pay too much attention to it. I mean, here I am, a MtF crossdresser, obstinate to a fault, laughed at, isolated, marginalized, and lonely, bereft of any genuine connection with the outside world. I’ve painted myself into a corner, made my bed, and burned my bridges – where do I go from here? I have no choice but to try to live within the cramped space I have carved out for myself, for better or worse...
I see people going about their daily lives, with things to do, places to go, friends and family by their side, while I just sit here. My choice of clothing precludes any notion of having a normal life, and this gets to me sometimes. I could be out there, doing that thing, rather than trying to do the impossible, i.e. go from M to F via reinvention. It’s not easy, but why did I choose this route through life? It WAS a choice, BTW. Why must I always do things the hard way?
Please don’t mistake this as a cry for help. It isn’t. In any event, certain individuals on this site have pointed out, quite clearly, that I am the only one that can help ME. I understand that, and I must say I agree with that “position,” but I would gladly help anyone if I could. I suppose that if I was more normal, or doing those normal things that normal people do, I would feel a sense of accomplishment, rather than this feeling of emptiness...
Instead, I have to defend my decision to crossdress, or, at the very least, protect it. I have no choice in the matter, after all – if I lose ME, I will become one of the walking dead, a legion of non-individuals who assume they’re right. Hmmm... Come to think of it, maybe being “wrong” isn’t so bad after all...
:battingeyelashes:
Are you the master (I mean mistress) of your convictions, or do you doubt yourself? :thinking: