I personally wouldn't touch this w/a 10 foot pole!!!!!! Sounds like a setup to me!!!!!
:love: Mollyanne
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I personally wouldn't touch this w/a 10 foot pole!!!!!! Sounds like a setup to me!!!!!
:love: Mollyanne
Two posters above hit the nail on the head--this too good to be true ad probably involves commercial sex--ie she's a hooker or it is another cd who is looking to fulfill a fantasy(that might be ok depending on which way you like to go). I would be very cautious about contacting this person--in other words go slow---because the third option is she? could be looking for a victim, either for robbery/theft or for blackmail.
The City was Burlington, VT, and the newspaper was Seven Days. I'm not into responding to personal ads. I sometimes scan them (espeically when killing time waiting for an appointment/plane/etc and that was the situation Saturday night) out of curiosity 'cause some are wicked funny.
She has a profile on the paper's website, www.sevendaysvt.com, and that profile is supposed to have a picture. If anyone wants to check it her ad number is 11527.
(For the uninformed, Burlington besides being Vermont's largest city, is a college town).
It is definitley a set up. Probably a trap to get a CDer and do some not so nice things if you get my drift. Definitley stay away for your safety.
As the old saying goes, if it smells like a rat, it must be a rat.
Felicity :)
[SIZE="3"]First, its not a fad for bisexuality. Someone who has "tried a lesbian relationship" is called bi-curious, not bisexual. Bisexuals are individuals who date either a male or a female, not try it. We don't see our partners in a gender-orientated view, so it is of no importance. On the other hand heterosexual women like men, albeit that man can be feminine in nature just as a heterosexual male is attracted to females who might be considered masculine in nature.
Second, by your account, if it became "cool" for men to date ftm then we would see large numbers of men on the look-out for them? I find this difficult to believe as, though many people might mimic clothing, style, etc of someone they feel is "cool", it is extremely rare that anyone would mimic their sexual orientation because of it.
I agree that education and exposure is the key to making cding more socially acceptable but not if its going to be promoted as a "lesbian" concept. I think that would be a huge deterrent for heterosexual females that don't find other women sexually attractive. I also think it would deter many lesbians as well because it implies, ultimately, that they like men, and they do not.[/SIZE]
be careful you never know what you are going to get. If this sort of thing does appeal to you though you can try adultfriendfinder.com.
The bi-curious are still trying out bi-sexuality. Some who liked the experience may then become fully bi-sexual but as I understand it the majority turn away.
There is no fad for men to try out homosexual relationships, the homophobia inherent in male upbringing is too strong.Quote:
Second, by your account, if it became "cool" for men to date ftm then we would see large numbers of men on the look-out for them?
Why? The fad to try a lesbian relationship is because of the notion that a woman knows how to satisfy another woman, emotionally and sexually, better than any man. I can easily see that idea transferring to CDs where we are thought of as a half-way house - a male body with feminine insight. Now whether you believe CDs actually represent that is irrelevant, it is the public perception that counts.Quote:
I agree that education and exposure is the key to making cding more socially acceptable but not if its going to be promoted as a "lesbian" concept.
And if that fad were to disappear in time, the long term effects would still be dramatic for the CD community as it would finally thrust CDs into public view and have them taken seriously without conjuring up fear and contempt.
[SIZE="3"]Yes they are, but its sort of insulting to bisexuals when someone who is just trying it out is called bisexual. It often implies that it is then a choice for us and that some days we are and the next we are not. It is why the term bi-curious was started, for those people who try relationships and usually for the thrill of dabbling in the taboo as opposed to those of us who feel they were born this way.
In other words, bi-curious are most often individuals that are interested in the sexual experiences. Bisexuals are people that fall in love with a person of either gender. One is all about the sex the other is fully capable of having long term, meaningful relationships.[/SIZE]
[SIZE="3"]Perhaps I should ask... why are you using the term "fad" like sexuality can be compared to a clothing line? It sounds like when someone uses the term "gay agenda" as if us non-heterosexual people have some top secret plan to slowly turn the entire world gay or something. Its silly to believe that such a large number of people could be so influenced to change something as innate as one's sexuality.Quote:
There is no fad for men to try out homosexual relationships, the homophobia inherent in male upbringing is too strong.
And yes, women are fully capable of not only finding lesbian/bisexuality repulsive but down right the worst thing a woman could experience. There's plenty of heterosexual woman out there that are completely disgusted by the thought of being with another women. Hell! The PROTEST us!
There technically isn't a "fad" for women to try homosexual experiences either. There's no major icon out there singing the praises of women loving women. All you are seeing is bisexuality and/or lesbianism coming out into the open. Its always been there, just not as pronounced. No little girl is ever told its "ok" to be with another girl. Its not considered cool, hip or "in".
And a great deal of what you are seeing isn't even real. So many people claim the label bisexual to seem more appealing. After all, a man might never get to sleep with two lesbians as all the porn seems to imply, but hey! He might have a shot with two bisexuals!!!! :straightface: Yeah... I think not. Again, real bisexuals are fully capable of have loving, monogamous relationships without it mattering what our partner's gender is.
[/SIZE]
[SIZE="3"]A man would know how to satisfy another man, emotionally and sexually, better than any woman for that matter as well. :DQuote:
Why? The fad to try a lesbian relationship is because of the notion that a woman knows how to satisfy another woman, emotionally and sexually, better than any man. I can easily see that idea transferring to CDs where we are thought of as a half-way house - a male body with feminine insight. Now whether you believe CDs actually represent that is irrelevant, it is the public perception that counts.
Even lesbians do not use that horrid line. Just like men, there's some pretty bad female lovers out there and just because someone might have the same anatomy doesn't mean they know a damn thing more about it than I do.
I don't doubt that cd/ts/tg has some pretty appealing qualities on individual levels but offer it as a society, not an answer for a sexual "fad". I mean that's sort of demeaning. It sounds like that's all cd/ts/tg people are out for and isn't that a stereotype you are all trying to escape?[/SIZE]
[SIZE="3"]This can happen and would be far more effective, without the aid of any sexuality pinned to it. The point of many people in this community is gender and sexuality are two totally different things.Quote:
And if that fad were to disappear in time, the long term effects would still be dramatic for the CD community as it would finally thrust CDs into public view and have them taken seriously without conjuring up fear and contempt.
Just like you aren't gay because you dress as a woman, a woman shouldn't have to be considered bisexual or a lesbian to be with you. If its presented to society as something of an "in between" for a specific sexuality, you are taking a step backwards and also putting off a great deal of the heterosexual female community.[/SIZE]
Where do I sign up
Most of whom turn away i suspect do so because of fear of losing family and friends. Many Bi people I know are closeted and many have shyed away from same-sex relationships when they started getting too serious because of that fear.
And yet the report I've mentioned on this forum a lot that was discussed on a tv program last year or so was that around 30% of Australian males have had at least one consenting same-sex sexual experience. Thats a lot! But whereas many of these men will do so quietly down at the local beat or when they and the mate they fancy are seriously drunk in private neither of which show any sign in public while many accept public displays of girl-girl affection because of the view that some women will kiss and flirt with other women publicly at nightvclubs etc because it excites and attracts the men. Something that local lesbians i know have got very cranky about because of all the unwanted attention they get if they are open in their affections as many men assume they are Bi and after mens attention.Quote:
There is no fad for men to try out homosexual relationships, the homophobia inherent in male upbringing is too strong.
Now I doubt many of those women kissing in public would be purely straight. I'm sure that the 'fad' is merely the true level of varying degrees of bisexuality in women becoming more visible and that those who do exploit it to attract men must be at least reasonably same-sex attracted to be comfortable with doing so.
Thats the public excuse sure. But in reality high levels of closeted bisexuality in both men and women have been known since Kinsey. The real fact is that the excuse and the high level of lesbian and bisexual-women material in mid 80's onward pornography have led to female bisexuality becoming more publicly acceptable. Give it a decade and a half and the increasing popularity of 'pegging' in porn should have a very interesting social effect.Quote:
Why? The fad to try a lesbian relationship is because of the notion that a woman knows how to satisfy another woman, emotionally and sexually, better than any man. I can easily see that idea transferring to CDs where we are thought of as a half-way house - a male body with feminine insight. Now whether you believe CDs actually represent that is irrelevant, it is the public perception that counts.
Even if your are correct, how would such a fad get started? I think it'd need a critical mass of influential women celebrities to admit to finding CDs sexually and emotionally and romantically attractive and a corresponding push from popular womens magazines to push the idea as acceptible, desirable and most importantly admitable followed by enough people being willing to say publicly that they too agree and then it would snowball from there.Quote:
And if that fad were to disappear in time, the long term effects would still be dramatic for the CD community as it would finally thrust CDs into public view and have them taken seriously without conjuring up fear and contempt.
I think if that were true, we would not be having this conversation and this forum would not even exist. Large numbers of people have been influenced by certain institutions serving their own agenda of repression and control through guilt and fear. I think it's accurate to say that for "them" any efforts by "us" to try and snap other people into reality is an "agenda".
Just my thoughts on this one bit, I'm NOT trying to be confrontational.:straightface:
Okay firstly, I am straight Vanilla, have no interested in being with another woman, nor have I any interest in being with anybody else in bed other than the person I am dating.
there is one heck of a differance between wondering about something and actually doing it ......... I wonder what it would be like to parachute out of a plane but there is no way on earth (or sky) I am ever gonna do :D
I do not care if you are bi, straight or homosexual, your sexuality is your business, please do not make assumptions about others, it's none of your business, and dressing as a member of the opposite gender and bedding the opposite gender u are presenting as when dressed, in my opinion makes you at best bi if u are in a relationship with someone of the opposite sex to begin with .... again just my 2cents
Add my name to the list of women who like men in women's clothes.
But, the ad referenced here sounds like bait waiting to hook you.
A worry I would have: Is she so skinny because of the type of drugs she likes?
If you want to give her the benefit of the doubt, I mean if she really is 19 after all maybe she is naive, and innocent....
just be extra cautious and vigilant.
I'm sorry but I don't see that a "timid" girl would ever post an ad like that in a "Women seeking...." section of any paper.
[SIZE="3"]
I don't think you are being confrontational, nor am I in any of my replies on here. :) I just feel that it is better to present the ts/tg/cd community without any sexual preferences stated one way or another.
I do believe that yes, you can be influenced to react a particular way when presented with any idea. Society proves that on a daily basis. BUT I disagree that it could actually change your sexual orientation.
In other words, a gay man might act straight in fear of the repercussions from pursuing a gay lifestyle but none the less, he is still gay. A straight woman might be influenced to experiment sexually with another woman, but unless she's attracted to that woman, she would still be straight. Sexual orientation has to do with whom you feel an attraction for or who you could fall in love with, not simply experimenting.
The reason so many in the GLB community still struggle on a regular basis is because our choices are categorized as sexual ones. A great deal of heterosexual people do not understand that its not us trying to be "kinky", we actually completely fall in love with someone of the same gender. That's it. We want to live our lives in the same manner as a heterosexual couple. Its not all about sex and that's what makes statements like those made in this thread painful. As if a night having sex with another person is cause to change your sexual orientation. Like a dress to be taken on and off at will. There are those of us who find love with another person of the same gender just as heartbreaking and compelling as any heterosexual person does in their relationship. That is why it hurts to have it so lightly stated as if we have a choice. Can you choose who you fall in love with? No. But you can choose who you sleep with. That is the difference between someone who is actually gay/bi/hetero and someone who's just "experimenting". [/SIZE]
Lets see drugs and sex . STD, HIV, death.
Um no thanks. Thanks for playing here is the home version
my gf wants me both ways and she wouldnt have it any other way. my x always accepted it. and my future wife will make me do it. life on both sides of the coin really should be illegal. am in my 40s and not goin to change.
sounds like spam to me
Now, (well, I'm quite drunk right now, I do this on occasion about twice a year or so after facing all this stuff, which I have this week after joining this forum) I was sexually abused as a kid; but at one point, he I guess started seeing 'real' girls, and of course stopped doing anything with me. But he was my only friend; he was my only source of affection; I didn't know that what he was doing to me was going to also destroy any chance I had for a normal life. I had no friends. My family treated me like crap. School teachers treated me like crap. I had a physical birthmark that made me an outcast among the other students, so I was all alone almost all the time. Despite what he did, at the time he was the only positive thing in my life. Outside of the sex, he was like an older brother to me, helped me in every way (yes, I know he probably had other things as a motivation, but I couldn't see that at the time). I was losing everything. All I knew from the rest of the world was pain and punishment. No one else was ever nice to me in any way (disqualifier; his sister, my sister's best friend, was sort-of kind to me but wasn't my friend, because it would risk alienating my own sisters friendship. Long term effects of this, I find women who resemble her attractive to this day). I knew what he wanted; I didn't know he wasn't getting it from whoever was his girlfriend (but in those days, not all teenage girls were so openly having sex). All I knew was that to get my friend back, I had to offer him myself. So, you could kind of call that 'consensual'. It was my choice, or it seemed so at the time. He made no advances, initiated no contact. I was 10; I had no idea what I was doing; but all I had to do was be the girl he wanted, so I did. I was the cute little blond haired 'girl'. In retrospect, I know this was all so screwed up. I know my family life, and his previous manipulation to get me sexually, all contributed to what I did. I know that children cannot 'give' consent to have sex. But in my mind, I did. I even initiated it. As an adult, I've learned that children will do whatever they have to to survive, and I remember well how alone I felt when it all happened. Would I have to answer affirmatively if someone asked me, and I wanted to be as honest as possible? Yes. And so...30%? Probably not. But, of course, we can never be sure, either way.Quote:
And yet the report I've mentioned on this forum a lot that was discussed on a tv program last year or so was that around 30% of Australian males have had at least one consenting same-sex sexual experience.