CDs with kids...

[Sarah...]

Our daughter knows - she is 18. We had another long talk just the other week so she knows I am transitioning. Our son is 14 - he doesn't know anything yet. He has his own issues to deal with and so doesn't need mine too but he is one of only two family members who don't know I am transitioning and so we review our position every week or so and when it feels right we will tell him. I don't want him to be in the position of finding out that everyone else knew for a long time before him - we are closer than that by a long way so he will need to be told soon-ish.

Sarah...

[Angel.Marie76]

I have a son, 11, and I came out to him this past Halloween '08. Told him that my costume for the day was that I wanted to BE a woman. He didn't take it well, but it opened the conversational door to be accessed again and again. As of now he knows, has seen me dressed, I dress around the house often during the week though with little makeup on usually. He knows I go out to meetings dressed, and other events, and has seen me dressed to the 9's.

He and I go back and forth with acceptance and tolerance, and he has had a therapist now for a few years that he's been able to talk to about all of this (and he does, I assure you). He's trying to be a strong little guy, and he never stops hearing that I love him greatly (just search for my name in messages here, you'll see a few posts about it). We have a long road ahead, the two of us (and my SO of course). Hopefully he'll continue to respect and love me as we travel together.

[Carin]

1) Do I have children?: Yes, 7, current ages 14 (M), 18(F), 19(F), 19(M), 19(M), 20(M) and 22(F)

2) Do they know?: Yes, they all know

3) How old were they?: They all found out over the past three years. They are all fully accepting.

Oldest Daughter about three years ago, was 18 at the time. She went to the River City Sparkle TG Ball with me last year.
Youngest Daughter over two years ago, was 15 at the time.
Middle Daughter: 18 months ago was 17 at the time
Oldest Son 18 months ago was 19
Middle Sons 18 months ago were 18
Youngest son 6 months ago was 14

[Persephone]

My son has known since he was about 13-years old, about 8 years ago. He has been very accepting and has been out with me in both genders. None of his friends have really been "told," but he assumes that some of them know as well, and, if they do, they are also accepting.

Overall, I probably would have been glad never to have to tell him, but that could only have happened if I wasn't a crossdresser. Otherwise, trying to keep a secret of this magnitude was erroding our family life and probably causing him to wonder what was really going on when Dad, feeling under pressure, behaved strangely.

Him knowing and accepting has made for a much closer and more relaxed family.

[Samantha43]

I have two kids, both teenagers. A girl and a boy. They know of my "hobby" and are fully accepting. They even bought me some jewelry for Christmas! They found out by accident when they went away with my wife for a weekend at Grandma's. I would use these weekends for dressing, and have a wonderful time! My wife would take the kids and go to her parents for the weekend. They would always come home in the evening on Sunday after 7:00 PM. Well......this particular weekend, her parents had something going on in the early afternoon. Soooooooooooo, there I am in all my girlyness at around 2:00 PM, watching TV and I look up and my daughter is standing there. OOOOOPS! She was 13 at the time and said she knew already. It's amazing what kids know! Boy, was my wife mad!!! (she is accepting and supportive, but didn't want the kids to know)

Anyway, it turned out great! Now I can dress whenever I want within the rules my wife and I have established.

[Sally2005]

My kid is five. I'm not out, except everyone knows I dress up on halloween. All she knows is halloween is dress up time... except recently she told my wife she has four favorite -girl- friends in the world. ...Mommy, her school friend, family dog and daddy. ...Daddy is on the list even though he is a man, but that's why he is -last- on the list! I got beat out by the dog who hasn't been with us for a couple years now. cute.

[Misty_cder]

We have three kids 4 year old daughter, 1.5 year old son and 4 month old daughter. I have no intentions of telling them when they get older. When our oldest was born, I reduced the amount of clothing I had and kept only items that could be passed off as my wifes. (Wife is fully supportive). My oldest has seen me dressed, but I was only wearing jeans and a tee shirt at the time so to her, it shouldn't have looked any different than my male jeans and tee shirts.

[KimberlyJo]

I have two boys and SO who, I believe, is trying to come to terms with my dressing (as am I really). My children (both boys 6 and 2) do not know, but once my SO and me work through this I hope that I can share Kim with my boys as well.

Funny story though, I was getting dressed for work the other day (in my man clothes) and myself, my SO and my 2yo were in the bedroom. I slipped on my panties (b/c I always wear them) and my 2yo started yelling at me "NO, NO Daddy, those are Mommy's!!" Sigh, I was very surprised that even at such a young age the gender barriers are well in place in childrens' minds. It really made me stop and think. They weren't even very girlie undies...and she's never even worn them.

[Lori Robins]

We have a Brady Bunch. I have two, girl 23 and boy 22 who I think know but don't say anything. My wife has three, boy 18, girl 17 and girl 10 who to my knowledge don't. I would like to tell them (selfish reason-so I can dress at home) but my wife won't let me. I don't know what the reaction would be, probably "thats disgusting" which is the standard reaction to anything out of the ordinary!! The Dad (wifes kids Dad) thing would be a concern maybe, but who knows. Maybe one day the world will just accept us for who we are

[Sarah...]

Our son is 14 - he doesn't know anything yet. He has his own issues to deal with and so doesn't need mine too but he is one of only two family members who don't know I am transitioning and so we review our position every week or so and when it feels right we will tell him. I don't want him to be in the position of finding out that everyone else knew for a long time before him - we are closer than that by a long way so he will need to be told soon-ish.

Sarah...

Now he knows... He took it in his stride as usual.

Sarah...

[Nattastic]

Have a 6 yr old boy... he once pointed out the makeup in a store and said that it was for me. His mother knew, I told her weeks into our relationship.. I think she may have said something to him at some point.

Funny thing, she tells me that he and her have a secret - that he likes to wear her clothes some nights. She'll let him play dress up for a while, but hes never said anything to me about it.... Ive never said anything about the issue either. What are the chances he would take to cding like that, seemingly of his own accord?!

[JulieC]

Funny thing, she tells me that he and her have a secret - that he likes to wear her clothes some nights. She'll let him play dress up for a while, but hes never said anything to me about it.... Ive never said anything about the issue either. What are the chances he would take to cding like that, seemingly of his own accord?!

As good as any thing else of commonality really. There's no proof that crossdressing desires are genetic or not, but I'd be there's a connection in there somewhere.

If he is a crossdresser, he's lucky to have you as parents. Lots of stories on this forum about unaccepting, fire breathing parents.

My wife and I had a discussion about "what if" our children turned out to be crossdressers. We've only had girls, so there's less likelihood of that (there seem to be considerably fewer FtM than MtF). But, if we do, we'd support it fully. If it comes up and they make a revelation to us, or it becomes obvious, we'll have a good discussion with them and then taking them on a shopping spree out of town somewhere they won't know anybody.

[julie08]

I have a step-son who is 10. He does not know and I don't think I will ever tell him. I don't dress often, and I don't see a reason why he should know.

Same thing that Nattastic said though, that what would the chances be if my son was a crossdresser. He likes to play around with girl stuff and pretend to be a girl sometimes, but I'm sure it's just little kid playing around. Even if he was, though, I don't think it'd tell him.

[WendyD]

I have an adult daughter who knows. She's the one who figured it out and turned me in to my wife. My teenage son does not know. That is the one thing my wife said would cause an end to our marrage.

[ErikaLeigh]

My 2 kids dont know as far as I know, its possible they may suspect something but I doubt it. I wont tell them because they are at an age where they have enough going on with all of the hormone changes and peer pressure and they dont need another heavy issue to confuse their thoughts.

[kaitlin]

I have two children, step daughters, 8 and 10 years old. They are aware of my leg shaveing and are cool with it (the oldest say's she hates her dads hairy legs), and it's a family thing when it comes to toenail polishing. My wife and I always match and the girls match us about 80% of the time. As far as Kaitlin, they haven't been told yet, but they will be soon!

[vikki2020]

I have a 15 yr old daughter, and I don't believe she knows, although she has made some innocent comments that make me wonder. I would like to tell her someday,but right now, she has enough on her plate.My wife really doesn't want her to know, but she is a pretty cool kid, and I 'm sure she will understand, when the time is right.

[TxKimberly]

I have two and a third on the way (Due July 15th).
My 19 year old son found out around two years ago and he is cool with it.

My five year old daughter is a bit more ambiguous. I've never done it in front of her, but she does see that I have a closet full of skirts and heels, and has of course commented on it with your typical five year old subtlety. I neither confirmed nor denied her assumptions. While I am trying to keep her mind open, I don't particularly want her to know. My son had a "normal" childhood, with out any additional head trips, and I would give my daughter the same opportunity.

[Ralph]

When my two were very young (less than 5) I dressed however I wanted to and didn't worry about it because they didn't know the difference anyway. Then as my son got older my wife requested that I give him a mainstream "male" role model, by which she meant wear pants around him. Now they are in their late teens and I have always tried to abide by that request, although occasionally a kid will wander into my room late at night to ask me something, and I'll be in my nightgown.

They do know, in any case. When they were old enough to understand the birds and the bees, I had "the talk" with them - about their own sexuality and responsibilities, as well as the fact that I buy my clothes off both sides of the store. I did this mostly to make sure they did not think I was gay or TS.

Full Disclosure: From other threads you may have seen that I am opposed to saddling your children with the job of keeping your secret. I did explain to my kids that what I wear around the house is my personal business and something I would prefer the rest of the world - including my parents and brother - does not know about. Hypocrite? I suppose. I have never expected them to lie for me or hide anything from others; I only asked them not to bring the subject up.

My son decided to test some boundaries a few years ago during some games at our church - one of those "truth or dare" type games, and he announced "I have never been a transvestite". That got an odd reaction - half the group didn't know what he meant, and most were still confused by the rules as to what you were supposed to do if the statement was true or not for you - so I took advantage of the confusion and kept silent.

Anyway, getting back to the original question... I believe both kids are a bit uncomfortable about it (why? Probably because all teens live in mortal terror of being singled out as different), so for the few remaining years that we are together, I follow a "don't ask, don't tell" policy - I don't wear skirts or dresses around them, and if they bust in on my in my bedroom when I'm in my nightgown, they don't say anything about it.

ralph