Wants vs. Needs

[Susan Dee]

Emily

It looks like most of the replies are really genuine, and it's not something that a lot of us could answer in a couple of simple sentences.

Seems to me there are two issues there -

......but such is the nature of today's "want it now/need it now" society....

and

Do you crossdress because you want to, or because you need to?

It would take an even bigger answer to deal with the want to / need to question in the context of the first question.

And me? I think I go with JoAnne's answer -

It starts off as a want to and if I don't get to, then it becomes a need to

Right now, I need to.

[Wendy me]

I'm not really in the habit of making public apologies, especially when instigated by third parties. I would prefer to think that anyone who has an opinion contrary to mine also has the ability to express their own opinion on the matter. I'm also not very fond of responding personally in public threads, especially when I'm the OP. Thus, I will back off now, and let everyone have a ball with the original question...

PM me if you want to have a personal gripe.

Emily dear Emily ...... your going to have to chill out some ... and my dear that's my opinion... play nice or this is over with..............

[Lora Olivia]

The question is simple, the response perhaps less so...
Do you crossdress because you want to, or because you need to?

The response may also be that simple

Perhaps laziness, perhaps arrogance, perhaps a deliberately antagonistic response to a perfectly valid question... I will pass on plain stupidity.

And perhaps this is an antagonistic response to an honest answer.

But that is where you are wrong Emily because for Nigella, it is a way of life, and if you knew anything about her,you would know this is the truth ............ you need to make an apology to that lady, and fast

I have to agree here, Nigella in no way deserves this.

So girls do you want to Dress but could you get by with not doing
Or do you need to dress otherwise there will be consequences.
Simple question really.
take care
Bev

As I see it a need is something that is life sustaining...food, water, shelter, love etc. Since my desire to be able to express myself by dressing, going out, shopping, loving as what I am (a female) and I was driving "him" to the point of suicide, I consider this a need

[ladybirdloves]

I see as similar to if a person is gay and tries to hide it or pretend to be somthing different they dont feel whole in someway. Crossdressing for me is part of who I am so if I dont dress I dont feel whole so is that classed as a need or a want?? I suppose then it is a need to be whole rather then a want???

[Nicki B]

OK folks, it seems there are a lot of "players" about, and I shall try to ignore them.

For the others, who hopefully thought more deeply about the question, and can contribute something more than a quip... I'm sincerely interested in knowing your thoughts on the matter.

Perhaps again, Emily, you equate number of words to thoughts? It's actually very hard to distill ideas down to simple, succinct statements, it's much easier to ramble.. See?

FWIW, my answer to your question is 'both'. And I don't see anything wrong in that, it's not a quip, it's the closest I can get to a truth?

[msginaadoll]

Its not an easy answer one way or the other. If i stop dressing as gina, would I die. No its not like im going without food or water. And I have stopped dressing for periods because I was ashamed or wanted to be "Normal" whatever that means. Sometimes I wish I could just take a pill and be like the other 70-90% of males who dont dress. But I cant and for better or worse it is a part, and big part of who I am. Yes i can give up that part but then I guess the question would be would i be a "Whole" person. Sorry for my ramblings! Gina

[TGMarla]

I've been crossdressing since I was 12, and it's progressed to the point where I'm actually practicing female emulation, which may be on the middle to upper end of the ol' bell curve for this whole transgender thing. I've been doing this so long now, I don't know how not to.

There is almost never a time when I don't want to dress. Opportunity doesn't knock all the time. As far as a need goes, I would imagine that not having the opportunity to crossdress would weigh heavily on me. So in a sense, in order to keep me on an even keel, I probably need to have the opportunity to crossdress. Not doing so would likely hurt me psychologically.

So yes, I want to.
And yes, I probably need to.

[brittanny]

I would say its a need I have been able to stop for periods of time but I always come back to it so its most likley a need

[battybattybats]

I definatly get depressed when I go for long without dressing, so even when I want to NOT dress i still NEED to. But When I don't want to its usually unconcious procrastination and unresolved self-acceptance issues.

But when I want to I don't notice if I need to.

So the answer can only be BOTH! Because is usually want to, but I also need to!

[celeste88]

Dear Emily,

I like your question, as it pertains to everything in life, not just what we wear.
My answer, at least for me, is definitely that I would dress out of desire, as opposed to need.

Everything is relative. If I have everything in order and I have a bit of free time and privacy, I will dress and enjoy myself. When there are other priorities, I won't. This does not apply to everyone though, because some people here define themselves as women, which is their right. For them it is not really a question of want or need.

However, for people like me who have a feminine side to my man's personality, I would say it is a want. I would not die if I had to spend the rest of my life in drab, but I would sure miss being able to dress up!

Celeste

[Stephanie Stephens]

Emily, this is a very good question and maybe something we should consider. The answer just could be one of those things that place us on the scale between "normal male" and transgendered. Myself, I feel I have a need to express my femininity. It is a part of who I am and I cannot hold it back. Stephanie is real. Thanks for asking the question Emily.

[Jilmac]

I guess I could combine want and need and say I dress because I love to.

[Angie G]

I think some of both Emily But more to the want to side.
Angie

[il.dso]

Both.

[Tasha McIntyre]

Most of the time it's because I want to, as in I just feel like it. If I go for an extended period without dressing, which for me is more than a couple of weeks, I feel the need part taking over.

Give me a few hours to be Tash and my world is suddenly a whole lot better

[Emily Anderson]

Thanks for all the insightful responses!

It is indeed very difficult to determine the difference between a "want" (something that we desire), and a "need" (something without which we could not survive).

Sometimes drawing a line between the two is tough, and not an easy subject to broach.

[sometimes_miss]

<snip>Do you crossdress because you want to, or because you need to?

Neither. It's basically just a feeling of being supposed to be dressed in female clothing, an uncomfortable feeling of being in the wrong clothes when I'm dressed as a man. The easiest explanation would be, going to a formal occasion where everyone else is in a tux or gown, and you are wearing a bathing suit. Sure, your private areas are covered and you're in an outfit that you normally wouldn't be uncomfortable wearing should you be on a beach, but in this case you just have an uncomfortable feeling that won't go away. That's how it feels for me. That uncomfortable feeling goes away when I'm dressed in female clothing. Oddly, I know I look absolutely absurd when trying to dress up pretty, but it FEELS normal.

[Nicki B]

It is indeed very difficult to determine the difference between a "want" (something that we desire), and a "need" (something without which we could not survive).

Is it, Emily?

Surely if you try to stop doing it and see what effect that has on you, it gives you some insight?

If i stop dressing as gina, would I die. No its not like im going without food or water.

Gina, we all feel this need to different extents, so that may certainly be true for you - but I have known girls who have killed themselves because they couldn't live as they needed, most recently a good friend, last May.

[sande10]

great question: my vote is for need