going out: en femme or change in the bathroom?

[westt]

Okay, so I recently decided that I just need to go out. I will have to check out one of the tg friendly bars in nyc, or clubs when I find out about more.

The thing is I have never been out dressed before, so I can't decde if should go out in femme or just change in the bathrooms. Going out dressed is going to be so scary! But what if I go to the venue in drab and someone recognizes me? Maybe I am just too paranoid

To those who have already gone out en femme, did you change inside or put yourself out there in public? What do you girls suggest?

[Zenith]

Just get out there...be safe and don't go just anywhere alone late (GGs don't)...most trans friendly places have a unisex bathroom...have fun...

[Nicki B]

NYC is really a very easy place to go out dressed as a girl?

Had you thought of joining a local group, who may have changing facilities, such as CDI?

[DonnaT]

My wife doesn't let me leave the house dressed, so I have to find someplace else. Usually it's late and I can put makeup on at home, then change clothes in the car, and put on my wig.
Other times it is a hotel room.

[CD Susan]

I can't imagine not leaving home already dressed. If you went to some place to change where would you leave your change of clothing? I can't see carrying around a bag containing some clothes all night or renting a locker to store them in for the night. Of course I have never been to NYC so I don't know how things are done out there.

[AllieSF]

Since you apparently can dress at home or on the road, how about this? Do all your prep work at home, including your lingerie, top, skirt nylons, etc. Do your base make up with the good bathroom lighting, then put on a baggy pair of pants over your skirt and a big shirt over your top. Leave the house and then find a safe spot to stop and finish your dressing (wig, final makeup, jewelty and shoes) in the car. I do this now since family has moved back in with me limiting my freedom. I put on my lipstick and eye makeup in the car. Fortunately, I have a a nice mirror in my sun visor with it's own make-up light! Actually, it all works out fairly worry free and efficient under less than ideal conditions. Try it you may like it. Good luck and enjoy your evening out.

One other thing, it is so much better to go out with a friend for the first time. The worry and anxiety will still be there, but you always have someone else's strong shoulder to cry on if it becomes just too much.

[celeste26]

I vote for leaving home dressed.

If you cant do at least that much, then maybe you aren't ready to go out yet. NYC is the most impersonal city and there is so little chances that anyone will care.

Just do it.

[renee k]

I vote for leaving home dressed.

If you cant do at least that much, then maybe you aren't ready to go out yet. NYC is the most impersonal city and there is so little chances that anyone will care.

Just do it.

That's the advise I would give, leave home dressed and have a good time.

Huggs, Renee

[westt]

Yeah, I know I should go out in femme eventually. But since I still am in college it could be social disaster if someone recongnized me lol. i probably have to put a pound of makeup on and disguise myself very well But still, i don't feel comfortable taking the risk of being found out, regaurdless how small the chance is...So i guess itss changing inside the venue for now

[LynnInDenver]

When I started going out for things other than the 'national holiday', I jumped in with both feet and just went en femme. I've never had to change 'at the venue', either for a meeting or other functions.

If anyone sees me come out, and complains to the management of the apartments I live in, I expect it'd be, "we can't evict her for that legally, and besides, she's one of our quiet, no complaints lodged, pays on time tenants."

[JoAnne Wheeler]

I think it would be best to change at HOME - it is very hard to make a convincing feminine presentation in a bathroom - unless you are already underdressed completely and all you have to do is change your clothes and shoes - still, getting your make-up right and your hair just ring can be better done at home

JoAnne Wheeler

[Jennifer Marie P.]

Get dressed at home so you know that you did everything right and your makeup is done right. You don't want to rush yourself.

[Jilmac]

The first time I went out en femme I dressed at home. It was winter and evening so I was sheltered by the darkness. I have since gone out in daylight hours after dressing at home without any repercussion.

[Annie D]

I prefer to dress completely at home but there are times when it just doesn't work that way. When I first started going out, I dressed completely at home but made sure that I was home alone. Now I go out more often and because I have two teenagers at home when I want to go out when they are here, I underdress with as much as I can, sometimes put on make up at home without lipstick and eyes done and finish up in the van. I will get into the back passenger seats (more room) to put on the finishing touches of clothes or to take off my feminine clothing. I have a travel bag for shoes, wig and purse that I openly carry out the door. The kids have not asked what is in the bag, so far. If they do, I think that I will reply that someday I will tell them.

I say, dress as much as you can where you live and as time goes by, you will do more and more at home because your self-confidence will grow.

[JenniferR771]

Allie has good advice. I do almost the same thing myself. It is easy to wear baggy pants over a skirt. Add wig and shoes in car on a quiet street. Best to dress at home however...
Bathrooms are a problem: were you planning on using the womens' or men's? It is possible. Just put your wig and lipstick on in your car--carry your gym bag, and walk into the women's. You look like a dressed-down woman in slacks and sneakers. Change in a stall. Come out looking glamarous.

[Karren H]

I have changed almost every where imaginable... unisex restrooms are my favorite if I'm out on the road doing a quick gender change....

[kayegirl]

If your going out at night, change at home where you can get everything just as you want it. For daytime going out, I favour the dress at home and cover up with baggy pants and sweater, but only if you have a car to leave them in. If not I am not sure but I am quickly building up the confidence to dress at home, and what does it matter if the neighbours see me.
Whichever you choose, good luck with your first trip out, the feeling is fantastic.

[StacyCD]

Do it from home. It's amazingly hard to get your makeup right in a dimly lit bathroom or with the overhead light in your car. I think taking your time to prep to go out is almost as much fun as stepping out the door! I'm sure Karren and others can do it in five minutes by the light of a bic lighter but they have had a lot of practice. Most of us take a lot longer. But as long as it works for you--there are no wrong choices!

[sami1952]

after you go out in first time enfem, you will do everytime.

[DeeInGeorgia]

My solution has been a Grand Caravan. Good for carrying 4'x8' sheets of plywood or plenty of room for changing, applying makeup, removing makeup. It is big enough to hold a weeks worth of 2 changes a day including shoes.

I live about 30 minutes from where Southern Comfort Conference is held, but I cannot afford a room there. For the past 3 years, because until recently I had not told my teen sons about my crossdressing, I would leave home drab, go to a large open parking lot, do my makeup, change, and then go to SCC. On the days I got home early, I would reverse the process.

Now I do it just out of respect for the boys so they don't have to see their dad dressed if they don't want to.

Deanna

[MichelleP]

Change in a place where you have PLENTY of time to get ready and you can fret over clothes, makeup and hair all you want. The first couple times I went out, it took me hours to get ready. Changing in a unfamiliar bathroom might not be your best option the first time out.

Stay safe and have fun!

Michelle

[Alana65]

Yeah, I know I should go out in femme eventually. But since I still am in college it could be social disaster if someone recongnized me lol. i probably have to put a pound of makeup on and disguise myself very well But still, i don't feel comfortable taking the risk of being found out, regaurdless how small the chance is...So i guess itss changing inside the venue for now

Hun, if I lived nearby I'd go with ya . That way, we'd have each other for support....and make it a GNO.

[Yvettegrl]

Stay in your comfort zone. If you're VERY uncomfortable about leaving dressed from the house, just don't do it. If you go against your better judgement and it doesn't go well, YOU still have to deal with it. Not somebody else.

There have been some very creative suggestions for partial preparation that would allow you to go out without the fear of being recognized. Try what seems best to you. If your outlook or circumstances change later on, then you may decide differently.

And, of course, have a great time!

Regards,

Yvette

[Sally2005]

I have to repeat what others have said. Dress as much as you can at home. Then cover up with male clothing so you look pretty much like yourself. You can do makeup and wear sunglasses to cover your eyes. A hat can even cover a wig. If you are on campus and it is a long walk to your car or you ride the bus, then it might be more of a challenge to try that. In that case, find a girlfriend who has her own place that you can use or find a quiet family changing room that has a locking door and supports both genders. You can change to male pretty quickly anywhere, but going to fem is usually time consuming.

[Ashlyee Paige]

Get dressed at home! I would shudder at the thought of trying to put makup on in a bathroom, people always pounding on the door getting nervous, bad lighting, I have a bad enough time putting it on at home takes me about half an hour put get all my makeup on, I would freak trying to do it quick at a public bathroom, plus I use my fingers to put makeup on blend, ect but i end up washing my hands alot and one of those electric dryers would be annoying. you would probably get 500% better job doing it at home, maybe put the wig on later and underdress if you had to. plus carrying it all in and out would be a hassle, if you havent been out before just do it at home early enough, give yourself plenty of time and at least take that stress away. first time out is always a little nervous so do what you can to not put any more stress on yourself.