Sunday Morning Blues

[Sherlyn]

Okay...... Quick summary bout last night. I had the opportunity to go into a club last night ...ummmm drag queens gays and lesbian ...Kew and I both got dressed to go ..she did my eyemakeup for me and let me wear her 1 of her outfits ... she looked great... REAL GREAT....soooooo off we go ...ummmm we get downtown ... park and !!!!! I JUST CANT DO IT !!!!!!!! Kew assures me I look fine ...but I just don't know why I cannot go in ...at 1 point I get outta the car while she waits and walk over to the street ..standing there right on the sidewalk across from the club...hmmmm no 1 even seems ta notice me or cares lol...... kinda gets my confidence up no stares at me... just casual glances sooo..THEN a guy in a pick-up truck ..pulls in right beside me ..rolls his window down .....and asks me to come here ...omg!!!! I quickly walk back too Kew in the car ...heart pounding....so we sit .... and sit... Kew at 1 point even went over and asked if there we're TG's in the club!!!yup!!! ..there was .the bouncer said... I never did go in ... I do not know why I cannot ....it frustrates me soooooo much...I just can't seem ta get the nerve too put myself in the company of others... HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So here I sit its Sunday Morning ...Kews asleep and I am feelin blue coz I had my first oppurtunity to present Sherlyn and lost my nerve

[CharleneCD]

Sherlyn, Bunny and I went to the same type of club and found acceptance and mostly no one paid attention to us. Next time you try, remember how you feel this morning. Just push your fear aside and go in. You picked one of the best places to go where you will feel the least out of place. Trust me you will not regret going in next time, just do it. Get out of your car, and keep putting one foot in front of the other till you go in. Think of how liberating it will be to have finaly been out. You can do it Sherlyn.

[Julie]

Sherlyn, so you didn't quite make it into that club last night, so what you took a huge leap forward in achieving that aim. Hell you made it to across the street, stop being so hard on yourself. You'll do it soon enough, just look as last night as being a try out ready for the big day.

Well done.

~Julie~

[Sherlyn]

thank you sooo sooo much Charlene and Julie ....I had ta post this ...at first I did not want to coz ...I felt defeated ... Kew said I better post a thread about this ..the forum is my support group....and she is right I already feel a little less bluesy

[spaskinstyle]

Sweetie:

You are just so pretty! You need to know that you are as pretty on the inside as you are on the outside - next time you step up to the front of the line and you'll look like you own the place! It won't take long for people to realize your real beauty is beaming from within.

I promise you will be having the time of your life before you know it.
Good Luck Sweetie

Theresa

[Tristen Cox]

Stage freight? It happens, just got to psych yourself out. But nothing to get that down about, next time you'll go in and have a great time and forget about this.

[CharleneCD]

No your not defeated Sherlyn. Not even a setback. As Julie said you made it halfway across the street. Next time you will do better. For me alot of it comes down to not caring anymore. I wasnt ever truley accepted before, so as long as I am happy who cares what others think. The ones who love me and or, are my true friends are the only one's who matter. That includes my wife, my family, and all the wonderful people in this forum. All the others can either accept me or not, as long as Im happy. Since dressing makes me happy and is part of what I am, I do it. If you can take part of that attitude, the fear of going out becomes less inhibiting.

[Kimberly]

We all chicken out, hun... I'm finding it hard to SHOP these days: something I'm sure you've done plenty of. This is just the next step for you, and will take time.

Have no worries and just try again... we're all here for you

xx

[Jenny Beth]

Hi Sherlyn,

That first step into a public setting is the hardest one we will ever take. It is understandable that you were very nervous but if this is something you really want to do the time will come when you will overcome those fears. My first real outing was similar to what you just attempted and I probably couldn't have done it if not for the presence of my wife. To be honest I was pretty scared and felt that all eyes were on me, I soon realized no one paid any attention to me. You are so fortunate to have a wonderful partner who loves this side of you and she won't stand there and let anything bad happen around you. So you chickened out last night....no big deal. Eventually you are going to say damn it, this is who I am and you'll walk through those doors with your head held high. As Red Green once said, "I'm pulling for you, we're all in this together"!

[Deidra Cowen]

Sherlyn...you accomplished more than you are letting on. You did a car ride enfemme. Then you actually got out of the car and interacted with people outside the club.

Perhaps this can be a learning experience and you can move on to the next step of going in the club. I promise the club will be much more comfortable than outside!

[Sherlyn]

hugs to everyone supporting me here it sooooo...makes me feel much better

[Kimberly]

Sunday sucks.

Listen to The Zutons' "Not a lot to do" and you'll catch the exact mood I'm in... and your own, probably!!

[womanatheart]

Sherlyn,
Luv - last night was just practice! You have the look (a very good look that is!!!). When I am out - my detectors are running 120%. I learned something from Windy, who suggested going out to the mall in sunglasses (hold on - I'm getting to my point). I bought some very fem light sun glasses and wore them on my stroll to the mall efem. To top that - I forgot to put on my far sighted contact (old age - so I could not see good in the distance). My point - I had the best time of my life that day because I was in bliss because I was oblivious to others who might read me.
Next time - walk around the club - then - if comfortable - peep in. If comfortabe - enter and hide behind a plant - scope the place out - and tell your mate to find the most inconspicous table in the place. Then sit there till ...you know what to do.
Love,
Stephanie

[Fallen Angel]

like the rest of the ladies have said , youve taken your first step into the unknown. right there is a step in the right direction and you should be proud of your self that takes a lot of courage!!!! the next time you step out youl feel i bit more comfertable and besides your in good hans with kew. she wont let nothing happen to you xxx

[Sherlyn]

Awesome everyone ..... it feels sooo great just reading the support this forum gives me,,,, to all that have replied.. again .. hugs and love from me i greatly admire u grrrls and the care that you give

[new2jersey]

Sherlyn,
I know exactly what you are going through. Although my experiences was not with a club, but I know that FEAR! It's like Jenny Beth said, it's the hardest fear to overcome; you feel everyone is staring at you, but really, no one is, nor do they really care. And if they do figure it out, so what! Just look at them and smile!
You took some very big steps, girl, and that is what's most important. Need to build up the confidence, and to be honest, the way you look, you should have ALL the confidence you need. You look lovely!
One of my experiences, I was driving home from a friends house, dress alla femme, it was about 2 in the morning, and the low gas light come on. I cant make it home, so I have to stop. At first, I thought I would run out right there! What would I do? So, I drove around until I found a station; I pulled up to the pump, and the attendant was walking toward the car. I was so SCARED!!! In the best femme voice I could muster, I asked for $20, and he looked and stared for a moment, I smiled, and he went about his business. I then paid him, said thanks, he said your welcome and off I went. Although it was a scary feeling, at the same time, I enjoyed the rush of moment, and to see his reaction to me.

[misty_waves]

Sherlyn - I'm surprised that you chickened out last night because you look SO good! You have a beautiful, passeable look. Be confident - you can afford it.

- Misty

[Rachel Morley]

Hi Sherlyn,

I sympathize girl. My recent first trip out into the big wide world with Marla (which did go very well for me) was VERY scary once I got out of the car. Marla wanted us to go into a store but I just couldn't bring myself to do it. I think the reason why was because that would have meant being up close to people.

Do you think your fears (like mine) are based upon being "outed" when people see you up close? On this forum people compliment each other all the time on how nice or pretty they are...and this is a good thing, but let me tell you this girl, even if you take into account how photographs can make a person look better than they actually are in real life, in my opinion, you are one of the prettiest girls here. I would kill to look as good as you do, and I'm not just saying this just because of this thread. If your fears about going into a club are caused because of worries about being up close up to people, don't sweat it you look terrific.

When the time comes for me to got out again, I'm going to remember all of the wonderfully supportive comments that have been made by all the girls who responded to this thread. Don't feel guilty about what might seem a failure last night. It's all part of the learning experience.

Best wishes

[karen marie]

sherlyn,
don't be so hard on yourself.only you will know when the
time is right.you've taken the first step going out.
hugs karen.

[Wendy me]

sherlyn it's not the end of the world...when like in most things in life your ready then it will happen ....better to have not gone in and been all tenced up ...maybe a viset when your not dressed might make it easyer on your next time you go dressed ............huge wendy hugs.........

[Kimberly]

Awesome everyone ..... it feels sooo great just reading the support this forum gives me,,,, to all that have replied.. again .. hugs and love from me i greatly admire u grrrls and the care that you give

Sherlyn,

As a junior member of the forum addressing a senior and more experienced member: It's all I can do

xxx

[Rachel_740]

Sherlyn,

Don't worry love, you'll get more oppertunities and you did well anyway if it was your first outing. Think of this as a practice run .

Anne

[Ava Mouse]

Sherlyn,

TRY AGAIN! At least you had Kew with you, it's much harder to go out alone. I can't wait to hear your stories about being out and interacting with people!

-Ava

[cindybarnes]

Sherlyn, I guess a bunch of us are just going to have to come up there and help Kew drag you out ! ( no pun intended ) LOL
Realy you just about broke that first ice barrier so its kinda downhill now .
Once you get inside the club and relax some I KNOW you will have a great time !
And if you look that good in the new pic you posted with Sunday blues, Imagine when we see your Sunday im so happy I did it pics !!!,your just too cute
Hugs Cindy

[Stlalice]

Sherlyn,

The confidence to go out dressed and do anything - shop, go to a club, a church, etc. isn't something that comes easy to all of us. Sometimes you have to take what amount to baby steps. It's kind of like swimming in cold water - fun once you work up the courage but scary at the same time. For a start pick what you know will be a safe destination - wether its a club, support group meeting, church service, or what ever doesn't matter. Go with a friend, S/O, wife, relative, another C/D, or anyone you trust for support. My own first time out was to a Sunday church service at MCC of Greater St, Louis - scared ? You bet ! A gerbil on speed would have had more composure. I've posted that story in the transsexual forum under "Going Public the first time - to Church" . So don't feel bad about being scared - we've all been there. Hang in there kid - it gets easier the more often you do it.